Would You Visit Casey if You Were Cindy, George, or Lee?

[DaughterAlice]

I already DO have a (close) family member with whom I refuse to speak with (as a matter of protecting myself & my family), so I know that I am capable of this action, or should I say non-action. This person, however, is not my child. It is surely different when it's a child you have loved, nurtured, and raised. This, however, is my own perspective.

The perspective of GA & CA is very different.

If they TRULY, DEEPLY, HONESTLY stand by their claims of her innocence, then they should be there. They should visit her at every single opportunity. If they are afraid of what the press/public will say, then fine. Bring the newspaper & read it to her. Do the crossword puzzle with her. Laugh over the comics with her. There's plenty they can do together that will simultaneously show love and support for her while boring the snot out of all of us out here.

If they have doubts regarding her innocence, if they think there's a pretty good chance that she really did kill their innocent grandchild, then I wouldn't blame them one bit for not wanting to be there. But a message to the A family is this: DON'T YOU DARE KEEP PROCLAIMING HER INNOCENCE TO US WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN BEAR TO LOOK AT HER YOURSELVES, FACE TO FACE. For me, their lack of visitation adds another nail in her coffin. I think they believe in their hearts that she's a monster, and they can't face her.

JMHO.

 

[feddup]

I would certainly see her if she let me. Unconditional love is unconditional.

But I would never make excuses for her or tell half-truths and mistruths on her behalf or about her conduct. You can support someone with love without condoning what they did and you can set an example by refusing to accept anything but the truth. It's the thing that separates parents from people who are just trying to have their kids like them. I doubt anyone in that family has the guts to deal with that level of truth, though. It's more like a Sopranos kind of irrational loyalty that supercedes reason and is a substitute for real concern or affection.

She has lied so much and treated her parents so bad, I dont blame them
also, anything they sayis videotaped....
If she wanted to tell the truth,she could have when she was out on bail.
I have family members who have disowned others in the fam for alot less.
I think I would just write her off. I would miss innocent Caylee too much.
It IS almost like Caylee has been forgotten
There is no telling what Caylee went through in her last 30 days.

 

[gngr~snap]

If it were either of my children 100% yes I would visit. Can't give and honest answer if it were my sibling because I am an only child.
CA thinks she has all the time in the world to visit KC in the future
MOO CA will be charged and arrested shortly after KC's trial has ended for her actions in the days following the 911 call. as well as GA too...(maybe for less time) idk. CA will be spending plenty of time in jail unable to visit KC in the years to come and at that time I feel like she will regret not visiting KC.

 

[What'sThatClue]

I would visit. But I bet KC doesn't have visitors because they know the visits will be recorded and...who knows what might be said. That's probably what they're afraid of.

But yes, if it were my child, I would visit even under the worst circumstances.

 

[tlcya]

I would visit. As a mother, that child is part of me, and no crime could ever make me not love my child. That said, I would be encouraging her to take responsibility for her actions. I would counsel her that I love her dearly and am angry at her for what she has done. I would push for her to plea out if at all possible and try to avoid the DP. I would impress upon her that what is done is done and can't be undone. I would beg her to consider what she is doing to myself and her father. Can she not understand why we cannot bear to lose another "child". The loss of Caylee nearly killed us, we can't take another.

Recordings be damned, someone has to impress on this girl taht her very LIFE and ability to continuing drawing breath is on the line here.

BTW - that was very hard to put myself in CA's shoes as they are not comfotable ones and I have a tough time imagining ever being in her position. But then, I didn't raise a Casey.

 

[TotallyObsessed]

I would visit KC so I could beat the ever lovin stew out of her.

 

[Cassata11]

If you were allowed, would you visit your daughter on the eve of her death penalty hearing?

I am going to talk now as a mother.
No matter what I felt,
if I was allowed to see my daughter on the eve of her Death Penalty phase.........
I would be there.
I don't think I could stay away.
I would not support what she did, I would not lie or cover up, but I would let her know I loved her always.
Esp. CA/GA/LA seem to support her and lie for her but do not visit her???

What would you do as a parent?

I think they do not visit because they KNOW what happened and are afraid it will come out on tape!

This is a great question, and brings Casey in a human light. Sometimes, I feel we have to take our anger out of it, and look at her as a human being, despite her horrendous actions.

Right now, I will respond only if she was my daughter. If I was Cindy, I would be blaming myself for raising a daughter that felt she had no other option but to put the little girl to sleep so she could go out to party. I would think about my blame, and the pressure I put on my daughter to "grow up" instead of be a young adult that was dying to go to clubs and party.

Now I will speak as ME! I was 18 years old when I got pregnant. My husband and I decided to have her. We worked full time, and my mom watched her while we worked. But guess what? A few years later we turned 21. And we got her in day care during the day. And when we wanted to hit the clubs, we dropped her off at my moms, or my brother came over. We never had any excuse, because everyone wanted the little girl!! She was so precious at that age!

As my daughter grew older, she started to sass us back.. telling us when she has a kid, she will drop them off with us when she goes out.. we laughed, but we took the hint. She needed us to grow up! We did.

She is now 19 on Friday, working, in school, and on the pill! (lol) No matter what she does, I would support her. I agree I wouldn't blame anyone else, but myself. And I would help her take responsibility.

 

[kjt300]

Okay, let' up the ante of the question....

Would you still visit (or try to visit) your child if.....

.....Every time you tried you were turned away and the media reported it? This would mean that everyone would know your child did not want your visit.

...If you suspected that your child would accuse you, or your husband, or your son of sexual abuse in open court?

....If you suspected that your child was telling the mitigation expert horrible things (maybe true, maybe not) about how you raised her? That your terrible upbringing of her drove her to kill her own child?

....If you suspected that the defense would raise the spector of the possibility that you killed your grandchild to save their client?

Would you still visit?

 

[wenwe4]

As a Mom, I would say I always want to be there for them. Fortunately for me, I have the world's greatest kids (now adults) and am very proud of what they have become.

Unfortunately, when people become toxic to the point of never accepting responsiblity for their own behaviors, expecting family members and others to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives, and the "always being there for them" becomes a life-sucking exercise; then it's time to walk away and not turn back for a very time (if ever). At that point, it becomes a matter of understanding that family/friends only enable these behaviors to continue, and then taking steps to ensure this ends. I would then walk away (and have done this in my life to close family members). Thankfully, I never had to (or could possibly envision having to) do this with my children!

 

[Kat]

Okay, let' up the ante of the question....

Would you still visit (or try to visit) your child if.....

.....Every time you tried you were turned away and the media reported it? This would mean that everyone would know your child did not want your visit.

I can say from the depth of my heart that I would not care what anyone in the general public would think about my child refusing to see me. As their Mother it is a duty of the heart and a blessing to show them how much I love them. My own children don't always appreciate the support and guidence I provide but I love them enough for both of us to allow them to dislike my actions or as young children to shout they hated me. I would always respond with : that's alright. I love you enough for both of us

...If you suspected that your child would accuse you, or your husband, or your son of sexual abuse in open court?

My child would have to say those words in open court before I would believe that she/he was going to say them. If they did? I know in my heart that it's not true. I wouldn't be angry. I would be searching my heart and soul forevermore asking myself "what did I do wrong" to make my child say these things and behave in this way?

....If you suspected that your child was telling the mitigation expert horrible things (maybe true, maybe not) about how you raised her? That your terrible upbringing of her drove her to kill her own child?

Untrue? I would first be upset but I wouldn't turn away from my child. True? I can't deny the reality or perceptions of my children. My reality is not necessarily their reality and interpretation of what went on during their childhoods. I am shameless when it comes to the love of my children. If I did wrong or they percieve that I acted in a way that wasn't based in love~ I accept their reality and try to make amends or correct the situation.

....If you suspected that the defense would raise the spector of the possibility that you killed your grandchild to save their client?

I know that it would be utter nonsense that I murdered anyone much less my own grandchild. It wouldn't be a concern for me because I know I wouldn't be arrested and my response would be the same as above. I know who I am, and in all honesty I could care less what the general public thinks of me. It is the people that I hold close that matter.

Would you still visit? Yes, I love my children unconditionally and have absolutely no shame in expressing it. Nothing could keep me away.

I looked deep into my heart to answer your questions kjt. I am basing my responses on my children and my relationship with them. I can't speak for CA GA and KC. But if the situation were the same. My responses are in red. I have been totally honest~ barefaced honest. JMHO.

 

[Kat]

This is a great question, and brings Casey in a human light. Sometimes, I feel we have to take our anger out of it, and look at her as a human being, despite her horrendous actions.
Right now, I will respond only if she was my daughter. If I was Cindy, I would be blaming myself for raising a daughter that felt she had no other option but to put the little girl to sleep so she could go out to party. I would think about my blame, and the pressure I put on my daughter to "grow up" instead of be a young adult that was dying to go to clubs and party.

Now I will speak as ME! I was 18 years old when I got pregnant. My husband and I decided to have her. We worked full time, and my mom watched her while we worked. But guess what? A few years later we turned 21. And we got her in day care during the day. And when we wanted to hit the clubs, we dropped her off at my moms, or my brother came over. We never had any excuse, because everyone wanted the little girl!! She was so precious at that age!

As my daughter grew older, she started to sass us back.. telling us when she has a kid, she will drop them off with us when she goes out.. we laughed, but we took the hint. She needed us to grow up! We did.

She is now 19 on Friday, working, in school, and on the pill! (lol) No matter what she does, I would support her. I agree I wouldn't blame anyone else, but myself. And I would help her take responsibility.

Respectfully bolded by me.

I appreciate your thoughts Cassata. I will not argue them but accept them as stated.

For me though, it doesn't make KC more sympathetic by looking at her as the child of someone.

It sheds a bright light on the relationship that CA/GA have with her. Especially her Mother's approach to her own daughter.

Almost (with the exception of a few) of the posts in this thread are by Mothers (fathers) who would see their children in spite of any obstacle or circumstance. But yet we have a Mother who uses various excuses not to go visit. She wants things on her terms, I suspect she always has? JMHO.

 

[Cassata11]

Respectfully bolded by me.

I appreciate your thoughts Cassata. I will not argue them but accept them as stated.

For me though, it doesn't make KC more sympathetic by looking at her as the child of someone.

It sheds a bright light on the relationship that CA/GA have with her. Especially her Mother's approach to her own daughter.

Almost (with the exception of a few) of the posts in this thread are by Mothers (fathers) who would see their children in spite of any obstacle or circumstance. But yet we have a Mother who uses various excuses not to go visit. She wants things on her terms, I suspect she always has? JMHO.

Oh I think you are right on Kat! I think CA is in denial in her role. She has to push this all away from her. Yet, in front of camera's it is a big show. Waving, I love yous. It's all an act.

 

[21merc7]

If it were my daughter, yes, I would visit as often as allowed.

Since it is KC and she goes into video recorded rages, maybe not. Or, if I did, I would only say I love you, can I help, I hope you are trying to get some help from a psychologist. Doubt I would in the A's shoes though. It seems the meetings are doomed to KC being awful and it being recorded and shown to the world hope quickly she can go into rage.

 

[gngr~snap]

I would visit. But I bet KC doesn't have visitors because they know the visits will be recorded and...who knows what might be said. That's probably what they're afraid of.

But yes, if it were my child, I would visit even under the worst circumstances.

What could KC possibly have to say to GA and CA that would be recorded? She isn't about to confess! Not now
Are CA and GA afraid she would say something? to incriminate them?
Are they afraid to go see her? I think they are that is why they stay away.
Do they really think she hasn't spilled all the beans at this point?
IF they are any beans to spill?
IF KC acted alone go visit! unless she won't see them...

Guess when "people" are in a hole the best thing to do is stop digging. MOO

 

[Janis396]

MY Kids, YES. kc, NO!

Ditto!

 

[TheMeaningOfItAll]

If Casey were my child, and it was the eve of her death penalty hearing, knowing what we (as spectators) know right now, this instance, I would visit her. It would be my last visit to her and the speech would go something like this, "You've done your fair share of talking, Casey--whether it was during our jail house visits or in your letters--and I've supported you. Now it's time for you to listen to me. This is my last visit to see you. These are the things I want you to hear before your trial: I love you. I carried you under my heart for nine months, the same way you carried Caylee. While my heart was beating for yours, I imagined the life you would create for yourself. I had hopes for you--maybe you would be a teacher, or doctor, or an artist. Maybe you'd get married. Most of all, as I watched you grow, I imagined you as a mother. In all my hopes and dreams for you, I never thought you'd be sitting in a jail, accused of murdering my grandchild. I never thought you'd accuse me, your father, or your brother of untrue and unspeakable things. So, even though I may not have raised you perfectly, and I am sure I made a lot of wrong choices along the way, I refuse to accept any more blame or responsibility for your poor choices and behavior. You will have to accept the consequences for your actions. There will be no more visits from me. Your father and I will not be putting any more money in your commissary account, and from here on out, we will be sitting on the side of the prosecution so that you, the world and, most importantly, CAYLEE, understand that we want justice for our murdered granddaughter."

 

[LolaMoon08]

I can't speak for myself simply because I do not have children of my own, but I can tell you what my mom told me she would do.

She said that if my older sister (the only one with children) did anything like what Casey has done to her granddaughters... she would never forgive her. Never.

My one niece is only a few months older than what Caylee would be... so this case struck a cord with my mom especially since Caylee's name sounds like my niece's. She doesn't understand how anyone could do something like that to their own child. My mom adores her grandchildren and sees them all the time. My older niece (16) always calls my mom for advice or just to chat... which is rare for teenagers! She even taught my mom how to text message!

I really do believe if my sister was Casey and she murdered one of my mother's granddaughters... my mother would never forgive her. She'd still love her but she would never be able to do what the Anthony's have done. My mom has always been the one to say "If you ever get arrested... don't call me." Low and behold, none of us have ever been arrested!

 

[Pensfan]

^"If you get arrested don't call me" was a favorite statement of my parents and my husband and me. My kids never participated in illegal activities because they knew there would be NO one to shelter them. They also knew if they were involved in illegal activities there would be a herd of family opening a case of whoop a#$ on them.

Sitting across the glass from a sociopath that murdered your only (favorite) granddaughter and knowing, that if given a chance, you could be her next victim would be impossible for me.

 

[JBean]

If I knew my child murdered my grandchild there is no way I would ever visit or keep in touch with my child in any way,shape or form.
If I thought my child was falsely accused of murdering my grandchild then I would visit as often as possible and provide unconditional support..

 

[KariKae]

Okay, let' up the ante of the question....

Would you still visit (or try to visit) your child if.....

.....Every time you tried you were turned away and the media reported it? This would mean that everyone would know your child did not want your visit.

...If you suspected that your child would accuse you, or your husband, or your son of sexual abuse in open court?

....If you suspected that your child was telling the mitigation expert horrible things (maybe true, maybe not) about how you raised her? That your terrible upbringing of her drove her to kill her own child?

....If you suspected that the defense would raise the spector of the possibility that you killed your grandchild to save their client?

Would you still visit?

.....If you knew every word, smile, blink, and voice inflection would be analyzed to prove or disprove your child's innocence.