AZ - Timothy Romans, 39, & Vincent Romero, 29, slain, St Johns, 5 Nov 2008 - #5

[mrrogers]

I just don't know that there's enough info to call Eryn or CR's father "bad" parents. Obviously, they had issues and I am sure some of those issues affected their son. But I can't throw stones at either parent.

One of the reasons is that I always come back to the fact that most children who suffer terrible or traumatic things in childhood don't come to this end at the age of 8 - shooting a parent and another man to death. (MOO, fran - I know you and others have doubts!). So, something deeper is going on with this child, IMHO. This child is FAR outside the bounds of normal.

That doesn't take away my hope for him - I still have lots of that. I have tried to put myself in Eryn's skin numerous times - in terms of "would I want this child in my home." That is a superhard question for me to answer. My own 8 year old - honestly, if he shot two men in cold blood - I would want him back with me. Now - a child I had given up custody on (for whatever reason) - I don't know. It's hard for me to put myself in Eryn's shoes, but I wish her all sorts of strength and wisdom.

what evidence is there that he is guilty as charged

 

[southcitymom]

what evidence is there that he is guilty as charged

None of us have all the evidence and I doubt we ever will. I feel too lazy right now to repeat the reasons that I believe he did this, but I promise you I've outlined them before!

I respect that there are differing views on the subject.

ETA - he is not just charged - he has pled guilty to one of the murders.

 

[mrrogers]

Second hand chewing????? roflmao! Smoking & Chewing are two completely different things. There are no dangers when chewing near a baby.

any parent who has to travel a great distance to see their child has alot to overcome. many out of state parents face the same problems eryn did when she apparently took off with someone and ended up in mississippi .anyway sounds like she did about the best she could if she was working and lived such a long distance away
i have no doubts vince was a great father. even tim and cr were friends. i find it sad that when tim bought him an ice cream he had to have it done before they got home
tiffany openly ran her down in front of cr
and would sit by cr and listen to there phone conversations after cr told her that she and vince fought alot and told him what goes on in this house stays in this house. anyway i hope that the apache county po s dont continue to harass her the way they have been. of course when she moves his case will be taken over by someone else. i dont know why brewer and wood did what they did in this case the other day they were on tv and wood looked like he just woke up off a 3 day drunk and sure didnt look like he liked being on tv
his body language was one of yea you caught me doing something wrong but im not gonna apologize
i usually dont get into abstract beliefs but maybe tiffanys accident is the penance she paid for how she treated the kid and how she acted about his mom.
i was happy when my x divorced me actually. i had my daughter a week a month till she was school age if i wanted to keep her longer i just asked her mom for more time. since i have never lived close to them this worked out great. i guess im like vince in alot ways cuz whenver she came to visit id always take her out buy her something she wanted within reason . i never bad mouthed her mom either.
actually im amazed eryn has handled this as well as she has of 26 is alot older than the 19 years old she was when cr was born. shes the one that filed for divorce iirc they werent even married 2 years. anyway the group is large enuogh to fund an appeal should it come to that its just amazing how people have stepped forward to help her and cr . the biggest winner will be the attornies .
i guess she ll be going back to missisisippi when this all done which will be better for cr i think

 

[oceanblueeyes]

theres got to be more than whats on that site . its as if vincent was grasping at straws
eryn does not stand alone now. there are a great many who are supporting her in various ways

He sounded like a very caring father who wasn't shirking his responsibilities. Sounds like the Judge thought he was right and gave him physical custody.

Who all is supporting Eryn and the boy in St. John?

I have heard of no one stepping forward to say they are supporting her and the boy.

Now according to one of her messages left on another site she said she had received 41 emails but I suspect most of those people do not reside close to her and the boy.

Are you saying they are going to financially take care of her, the boy and her daughter for the next 9 years?

She sure does need to be at home constantly to monitor his every move as he grows to the age of 18 due to the strict probation he is under.

Judge Roca reminded the boy if he violates any part of his probation they are back to square one.

imo

 

[oceanblueeyes]

i usually don't get into abstract beliefs but maybe tiffanys accident is the penance she paid for how she treated the kid and how she acted about his mom.

"i usually don't get into abstract beliefs but maybe tiffanys accident is the penance she paid for how she treated the kid and how she acted about his mom."

I find this part of your post vile and disgusting. :furious:

It is cold and so mean spirited to kick a injured dog when they are down, where "up" most look like an impossible chore for them at this time, but you are the one that left a comment on Tiffany and Vinnie's Wedding Photo site, aren't you? Tiffany's life was already shattered before her Jeep rolled over.

I wouldn't believe Eryn Bloomfield if I saw her tongue being notarized. I think she was highly jealous. Tiff outlooked her imo and Tiff was being more of a mother than Eryn ever had been. I am sure the boy at his age may have messed up and when referring to Tiffany called her "mom" in Eryn's presence. So she picked her kid's brain like a snoop sister. Children are usually evasive about what goes on in the family but it is very common for the outside parent to push and prod them for information, that is really none of the outside parent's business anyway.

I think Tiffany is continuing to suffer because of this boy. The nightmares have to be horrendous. She says they are of the boy shooting her or are of him shooting her husband. I cannot imagine the pain this woman has endured. She is left to live with the fact that justice will never come for the one she loved. If my beloved husband died this way and he didn't get his due justice, I could never get over that and it would bring me to the brink of insanity.

It is unbelievably tragic. Just two months before there was a holy union where there was happiness, hope and a new beginning and two months later lives where shattered into a million tiny pieces to never be put back together again.

Tiffany did not have to marry Vinnie. She knew when she married him he had this boy and how hard he had fought for him and she wanted him to be her step son and maybe one day give him a new baby brother or sister.

It is amazing how quickly it takes someone to shoot a rifle multiple times yet that one violent event last forevermore.

I wish Tiffany nothing but God's blessings and I am glad that the bank was made known where contributions can be made. From what I have heard Tiffany Duval-Romero has many friends in St. John. I am sure that they are there with her and her family.

imoo

 

[Fairy1]

I am praying for Tiffany and wish her a full and speedy recovery. She has certainly had enough tragedy in her young life.

That being said, I don't understand the extreme hatred for Eryn by some here. We have no idea why Vincent had full custody and to make assumptions about Eryn and her lifestyle and parenting skills is not fair. What we do know is that she is there for CR now and she believes he is innocent. It will be her responsibility to care for him now and by all accounts, she is doing so. It's not fair to assume she abandoned him and that was what drove him to murder his own father. How anyone can come to that conclusion is baffling to me. Based on what we know, Vincent was CR's primary caregiver and influence for the majority of his young life. Why would any behavioral issues be blamed on the parent who wasn't there?

 

[oceanblueeyes]

I think to step back in now is a little too late. The damage done and the victims made can never be remedied.

http://www.focusas.com/Attachment.html


Attachment is all about building relationships. Humans need attachments with others for their psychological and emotional development as well as for their survival. Infants need to be physically close to the mother and be able to receive and give affection to form an enduring emotional bond. Children need to feel that they are safe, that they will not be abandoned, and that they are loved and valued.


The unique and exclusive relationship between a mother and child colors the person's relationships for rest of his or her life. If the relationship is close and secure, then the child learns to trust and love. If the relationship is emotionally distant and inconsistent, then the child learns not to trust or care and believes that one is all alone in the world.

The importance of an attachment relationship between mother and child cannot be over-emphasized.

 

[Fairy1]

I think to step back in now is a little too late. The damage done and the victims made can never be remedied.

http://www.focusas.com/Attachment.html


Attachment is all about building relationships. Humans need attachments with others for their psychological and emotional development as well as for their survival. Infants need to be physically close to the mother and be able to receive and give affection to form an enduring emotional bond. Children need to feel that they are safe, that they will not be abandoned, and that they are loved and valued.


The unique and exclusive relationship between a mother and child colors the person's relationships for rest of his or her life. If the relationship is close and secure, then the child learns to trust and love. If the relationship is emotionally distant and inconsistent, then the child learns not to trust or care and believes that one is all alone in the world.

The importance of an attachment relationship between mother and child cannot be over-emphasized.

Bolded in red by me.

This isn't exactly a revelation. But are you saying that CR killed because he didn't feel safe, loved or valued? Hmmm.

I think a lot of single fathers would take issue with what you're implying here - including Vincent.

 

[oceanblueeyes]

Bolded in red by me.

This isn't exactly a revelation. But are you saying that CR killed because he didn't feel safe, loved or valued? Hmmm.

I think a lot of single fathers would take issue with what you're implying here - including Vincent.

Yes, I am. I think because of his estranged relationship with his on again, off again,bio mom, made him unable to love or bond with others or to care about them.

IMO, this is what Eryn dumped into Vinnie's lap to deal with. The most important relationship that a child has is with their mother. They are the ones that teaches them love, acceptance and that they are valued.

Imo, long ago he convinced himself if his mother left him, she did not love him and if she did not love him, no one did and it didn't matter how much Tiff or Vinnie tried to show him differently. He did not know how to care about others or to receive love when it was given to him.

I am not talking about other children. I am talking about this boy who showed not one bit of emotion when talking about his father's death. He had a total flat affect, therefore IMO, he has an attachment disorder due to his bio mom and doesn't have the ability to care about others.

I think single fathers as well as single mothers knows that the child may have some issues if they have been more or less abandoned by either parent.


imoo

 

[OrdinaryLife]

I'm sorry, but to put blame on this mother is so wrong. If the roles were reversed, would we be blaming the father since he didn't have custody of the child and moved away? Only saw him when he was able? This is not black or white. Not one person truly knows what occured between these two parents and it most certainly does not mean Eryn was a bad mother that left her son and traumatized him.

I do not understand how the focus has now become the mother when there is nothing to show what a horrible woman she is except for personal opinions. As I stated before, of this woman was such a horrific human being, there is absolutely no way she would have custody of her son. The legal system, the DA, and anyone else would have raised some serious noise. Not one person has. Because there is nothing.

Eryn should not be some scapegoat for rumor or fodder. If there is anything out there, then give a link to provide proof and worthy discussion.

imho

 

[southcitymom]

.......

I wish Tiffany nothing but God's blessings .......

(respectfully snipped for length)

Amen. Like many others, she has suffered mightily as a result of all this.

 

[oceanblueeyes]

I'm sorry, but to put blame on this mother is so wrong. If the roles were reversed, would we be blaming the father since he didn't have custody of the child and moved away? Only saw him when he was able? This is not black or white. Not one person truly knows what occurred between these two parents and it most certainly does not mean Eryn was a bad mother that left her son and traumatized him.

I do not understand how the focus has now become the mother when there is nothing to show what a horrible woman she is except for personal opinions. As I stated before, of this woman was such a horrific human being, there is absolutely no way she would have custody of her son. The legal system, the DA, and anyone else would have raised some serious noise. Not one person has. Because there is nothing.

Eryn should not be some scapegoat for rumor or fodder. If there is anything out there, then give a link to provide proof and worthy discussion.

imho

http://www.azfamily.com/news/local/...11108-divorce-details-2x-murde.1a37a0964.html

I highly doubt that the azfamily newspaper just put out their opinions since they had the copies of the custody case in their possession where Vincent was given official physical custody. Which he must have had the child the entire time since he states in the court papers that the bio mom hadn't even seen the boy but a total of 2 weeks out of a year and a half.

I doubt the Court would have given the boy to his dad instead of his mom if he thought the best place was with his mom.

No one made her move away from her son. She has lived in several states far away from him. I would suspect she lived in those place because she wanted to...........

imoo

 

[Fairy1]

Yes, I am. I think because of his estranged relationship with his on again, off again,bio mom, made him unable to love or bond with others or to care about them.

IMO, this is what Eryn dumped into Vinnie's lap to deal with. The most important relationship that a child has is their mother. They are the ones that teaches them love, acceptance and that they are valued.

Imo, long ago he convinced himself if his mother left him, she did not love him and if she did not love him, no one did and it didn't matter how much Tiff or Vinnie tried to show him differently. He did not know how to care about others or to receive love when it was given to him.

I am not talking about other children. I am talking about this boy who showed not one bit of emotion when talking about his father's death. He had a total flat affect, therefore IMO, he has an attachment disorder due to his bio mom and doesn't have the ability to care about others.

I think single fathers as well as single mothers knows that the child may have some issues if they have been more or less abandoned by either parent.


imoo

IMO - -this is a load of BS. CR was a baby when Vincent was awarded physical custody. He would have no recollection of what occurred prior to that and it's obvious that Eryn was in his life when Vincent and Tim were murdered and had been for quite some time. If he was as emotionally detached as you would have us believe, it would have been evident to others in his life; teachers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, family friends, etc. We have seen nothing that points to that. Most people interviewed said he was just a normal little boy. I know plenty of well-adjusted teenagers who could be accused of showing no emotion just because they aren't comfortable in their skins yet. That doesn't make them murderers.

And if you're not referring to other children, why would you post an article that makes sweeping generalizations on the subject of abandonment by MOTHERS?

My children were abandoned by their bio father. Their stepfather has been in their lives since they were very young and they are both well-adjusted, normal kids who wouldn't hurt a fly. Why? Because they have been raised in a home where they were safe, loved and valued. There were times when we had to work a little harder to make sure they felt that way, but we did it.

You are basically building a child murderer based on nothing but pure speculation and assumption.

 

[OrdinaryLife]

http://www.azfamily.com/news/local/...11108-divorce-details-2x-murde.1a37a0964.html

I highly doubt that the azfamily newspaper just put out their opinions since they had the copies of the custody case in their possession where Vincent was given official physical custody. Which he must have had the child the entire time since he states in the court papers that the bio mom hadn't even seen the boy but a total of 2 weeks out of a year and a half.

I doubt the Court would have given the boy to his dad instead of his mom if he thought the best place was with his mom.

No one made her move away from her son. She has lived in several states far away from him. I would suspect she lived in those place because she wanted to...........

imoo

Again, what occured between these two people legally is not the life diary of what was. If in fact there was such huge concern, this woman would not have custody now. Especially now. If I remember correctly, didn't this child live with his grandparents for awhile? I'm pretty sure he did and only moved back home with his father just after the wedding. Unless there is more to show abhorrent behaviour as a parent, this woman does not deserve what is being written about her here. Or, any other site/posters that seems to enjoy tearing her apart.

imho

 

[oceanblueeyes]

Again, what occurred between these two people legally is not the life diary of what was. If in fact there was such huge concern, this woman would not have custody now. Especially now. If I remember correctly, didn't this child live with his grandparents for awhile? I'm pretty sure he did and only moved back home with his father just after the wedding. Unless there is more to show abhorrent behavior as a parent, this woman does not deserve what is being written about her here. Or, any other site/posters that seems to enjoy tearing her apart.

imho

Take away the reasons why and it still is what it is. She was not a consistent mother figure in his life during the forming years when he needed it the most.

I never saw that established anywhere. From all the articles I read about the boy and Vinnie's relationship they were seen together everywhere they went. No mention of always seeing the boy with his grandmother that I recall.

Mothers are pivotal in the life of a child and to do that they must be there from birth throughout the child's life. They are the nurtures. The closeness and bond between the mother and child makes them into what they become. They can be an adopted mother or a step mom that got the child when they are still very young or their bio mom but this boy had none of those when he was a young budding child. By almost 9 his personality would be set by then.

Each parent has an important role and both roles are different. A father can only be a father and a mother can only be a mother. They are made differently and so are their thought processes.

It is obvious that bio mothers plays a big part even if they are there with the child or if they are absent. Look at how many adopted children look for their bio mom years and years later, when they are adults. It is a missing link, that in their hearts, they do not get past. Mothers give children someone they know will always be there for them no matter what. No matter if the adult child is successful or has had a life filled with strife, they know something was missing in their lives that was a part of them.

It shows me why this boy lied so much. He simply did not connect with his father, so lying to him meant nothing imo. He, like most little boys, wasn't trying to impress his dad. IMO, he resented anything he was directed to do by a man that he was not capable of bonding with.

Of course as one of the witnesses stated he could be "manipulative" and imo he mimicked pretend love when it gave him the tactical advantage.



imo

 

[MeoW333]

Second hand chewing????? roflmao! Smoking & Chewing are two completely different things. There are no dangers when chewing near a baby.

What if he were to kiss the baby while having a chunk of chewing tobacco in his mouth, tobacco juices running out the sides of his mouth eww!!

 

[Linda7NJ]

sniped

You are basically building a child murderer based on nothing but pure speculation and assumption.

IMO there is no need to "build" he already is......nothing wrong with speculating why and stating opinions.

 

[Linda7NJ]

What if he were to kiss the baby while having a chunk of chewing tobacco in his mouth, tobacco juices running out the sides of his mouth eww!!

 

[Openmind]

There is truthfully no way know how this boy felt about his mother's absence or how that affected his relationship with his father. There is no way to know if this child was disconnected from his father. Children usually lie to protect themselves from harm or deny responsibility for poor choices especially if they fear punishment. Trying to determine this child's possible motive based on rumors and hearsay, assumptions and conjecture is pointless. None of us know the intricate details of this case. No one truly knows the parenting skills of these parents. Kids are raised everyday by single mothers, single dads, by grandparents, other relatives, and appointed caretakers and they may feel some loss in their lives but they learn to manage those issues. Much of a child's personality is formed in the first three years of life, but they are hardly finished nor is it impossible to rehabilitate a child that has experienced trauma of any level. That is exactly why we call these the formative years.

One thing is for sure and that is something went horribly wrong in this home. No matter how evil anyone may think this child might be or if he was reacting to some form of abuse or neglect, the people that surrounded him did not detect any outward problems that would have pushed him to this action. I will leave it to the experts that know the details and facts of this case to determine how to deal with this child. He has a long road ahead of him. I don't see any purpose in condemning the parents for what they did or did not do certainly based on what little we know.

I had an aunt that had a baby out of wedlock when such things were shameful to families. Her son did look up his mother, but he discovered she had been dead for a number of years so he contacted my father. The reason he looked for her was because her name was listed on the birth certificate but not the father's. He did ask about his father and wanted to contact him as well. Not all the people I have known through the years that were adopted wanted to know about their birth mother or family. I had a cousin that was adopted and was unhappy in her home. They were older and very strict so when she was a teenager she went looking for her birth family. Sadly, she was not happy with what she found there either.

And I hope Tiffany recovers from her auto accident and can move on with her life.

 

[MeoW333]

Linda, lol you know that would be yicky