CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #16

[demetra]

MR came home and DR was not there he figured he was at friends,so i see not a thing wrong with texting mom and asking has she heard from DR instead of calling, maybe MR was thinking DR told mom by phone or text what his plans where that day?

 

[SCHMAE]

It's quite possible that he texted ER along the lines of:
Have you heard from Dylan? I thought he was at his friend's house but he's not here.

If her reply was in a tone of anger and blame, he may have just shut down because he was upset, too, and didn't want her to yell at him at the moment.
moo

I thought somewhere one of them said the text said ' have you heard from dylan' OR ' is dylan with you ' ? But I cba to go find the link !

 

[asyousay]

Under the circumstances, I really doubt that her feelings were the first thing on his mind. I know it wouldn't occur to me to drive 30 minutes back home to make a phone call to someone who hated me, and then turn around and drive back to report it to the police. I would also not be likely to ask someone I may or may not know well to borrow their house phone to make a long distance all when I had a cell phone in my hand and could just send a text. That's just me, I'm sure other people would feel differently about it.

Well they should of been imo.

He was responsible for Dylan and on his watch he had vanished. So a little thought and care to his mother would not of gone amiss when breaking the news.

 

[mmmagique]

IMO parents should not be judged because their actions don't match what others think they should. It's an extremely emotional experience, and nobody can really define a rational and normal baseline. As long as they keep talking openly with LE and cooperating entirely, which both parents have, the rest is flexible to me.

RSBM, Whenever someone says there is no rule book for how a distraught parent is supposed to act, I sit up and take notice. There is, actually, a distinct difference in how innocent parents act/react, and how suspicious ones do.

There is a big difference in Desiree Young's actions and reactions than in Terry Horman's.

There is a big difference in Trista Reynolds behaviour, than in Justin DiPeitro's.

Billie Jean Dunn did not do what is expected of a mother of a missing child, and neither did Casey Anthony.

I believe there is a rule book for what worried/grieving parents do, and when someone isn't doing that, (for whatever reason) it's time to give that person another hard look.

JMO

 

[asyousay]

ER and MR both seemed like texters (along with the entire family) so that was probably the norm for them. I just don't get attacking them for doing what was the norm for that specific family.

I prefer to text because i hate speaking on the phone but there are occasions when you call and this is one of them.

This is not a text situation imo.

 

[Darcyline]

Well they should of been imo.

I would say that Dylan is the first priority.

 

[gngr~snap]

So landlines do not exist in CO?

He had 4 hours of twiddling his thumbs and doing sweet nothing so i am sure he could of made 5 mins to ask to borrow a phone at one of the places he stopped by at . Nobody would of said no when he pointed out he had lost his 13 year old son.


This news is not something you break over a text .

I found a home number...
A landline...
Reverse # look up "implies" it is still functional.

Are Code: (97*-***-****)
City: Bayfield
County: La Plata
State: Colorado
Zip Codes: 81122, 81137
Time Zone: Mountain
Current Time: 12-13-2012, 02:15 PM
Phone Line Type: Landline


Geo-Coordinates: Latitude: 37.2273 | Longitude: -107.604

could be an error I guess

I won't link because it gives the entire #
I just wanted to know if one existed.

 

[Bravo]

ER and MR both seemed like texters (along with the entire family) so that was probably the norm for them. I just don't get attacking them for doing what was the norm for that specific family.

But it wasn't a normal circumstance :waitasec:

 

[mmmagique]

It's quite possible that he texted ER along the lines of:
Have you heard from Dylan? I thought he was at his friend's house but he's not here.

If her reply was in a tone of anger and blame, he may have just shut down because he was upset, too, and didn't want her to yell at him at the moment.
moo

Aww, well that's too bad. He's a grown man with a missing child. He should have manned up and talked to the mother of that child.

 

[Donjeta]

Well they should of been imo.

He was responsible for Dylan and on his watch he had vanished. So a little thought and care to his mother would not of gone amiss when breaking the news.

I think it looks a little different in retrospect. Now we think, "That's no way to tell a parent that she may never ever see her child alive again", but if we assume that he wasn't guilty of anything and had no idea what had happened to Dylan, at the time those texts were sent and the calls weren't made he wasn't aware that the situation would turn out this serious and Dylan would be missing for this long. For all he knew Dylan would reappear shortly and his mother might even know where he was.

 

[Darcyline]

But it wasn't a normal circumstance :waitasec:

Do you know for a fact that they call in cases of emergencies? Like, do we have a base line for that?

Everyone seems to be judging by what THEY would have done, but that just seems worthless to me because we don't know what THIS family would have done.

 

[Confusion]

Thanks, it's hard to put out there because here of all places you really feel the judgment of not staring at your child 24/7.

Let's imagine there were reporters in my scenario... IF I had texted, even my husband, I would have been criticized for wasting time on my phone. Texting like nothing was wrong. Unconcerned. I SHOULD be helping LE and Sally Joe here wouldn't bother with personal phone calls while his/her CHILD IS MISSING!! I need to be talking to LE and giving them all information first, phone later.

But then if I don't answer, that is cruel because other parent has a right to know what is going on with their child- even if I have nothing new to report and knew other parent was also in phone discussion with LE.

Missing parent last with their child CAN'T look right. They just can't. I am pretty sure most of you would have found me unbelievable, because I was a blubbering idiot. I kept repeating things that didn't need repeating. It was weird. I didn't cry, because I had no tears. I just didn't. I went into this other mode where I wasn't a rational and logical person. I don't know, but I will never fault a parent for their behavior as long as they keep open communication and efforts with LE all along the way. JMO.

I was the opposite, so I probably killed my son. Luckily nobody told him so he's still hanging around. My son was "missing" at 12 for 30 minutes. I drove 2 miles to the school to see if he missed the bus, then drove to the homes of the friends I knew, one of them called the friends I didn't know (I knew them but not where they lived), when they all said they thought he had gotten on the bus but nobody actually saw him on it, I went and talked to the police chief in tow. He said he'd look for him and that I should go home in case he called or showed up. That's exactly what I did. He was home between 7 and 8 that night (I never bothered to check the clock.) I had been at home, just in case, from about 4:00. He should have been home shortly after 3:00. Not only did I not freak out and run around like a madwoman as people seem to think I should have, it never even occurred to me that I should notify his father.

I tend to be a bit of an optimist, and I was sure he'd show up eventually. It was really stupid on my part since it was just over a year after Jacob Wetterling had been taken about 50 miles from there.

 

[Confusion]

Well they should of been imo.

He was responsible for Dylan and on his watch he had vanished. So a little thought and care to his mother would not of gone amiss when breaking the news.

I totally disagree. I believe his son should have been the first thing on his mind.

 

[Abby Normal Again]

RSBM, Whenever someone says there is no rule book for how a distraught parent is supposed to act, I sit up and take notice. There is, actually, a distinct difference in how innocent parents act/react, and how suspicious ones do.

There is a big difference in Desiree Young's actions and reactions than in Terry Horman's.

There is a big difference in Trista Reynolds behaviour, than in Justin DiPeitro's.

Billie Jean Dunn did not do what is expected of a mother of a missing child, and neither did Casey Anthony.

I believe there is a rule book for what worried/grieving parents do, and when someone isn't doing that, (for whatever reason) it's time to give that person another hard look.

JMO

I think you may be taking my statements out of context. Or I didn't explain well. I am not saying there are not things that serve as warning flags. I not saying there are never very distressing behaviors for parents of missing children to engage in.

I'm saying you can compare 50 different innocent parents and get 50 different gut reactions. I'm simply saying there is not a one size fits all emotional reaction to tragedy.

And, like always, it's JMO- I *personally* did not react how I'd expect me to react. That changes a person's perspective, I guess.

 

[Bravo]

Do you know for a fact that they call in cases of emergencies? Like, do we have a base line for that?

Everyone seems to be judging by what THEY would have done, but that just seems worthless to me because we don't know what THIS family would have done.

No i have no baseline unless there were other times Elaine and Marks Children went missing.

 

[white rabbit]

well...fwiw...i think he wanted her back.

i think he suggested driving to castle rock so he could see her.
i think he texted so he could alarm her enough into coming without her hearing the concern/guilt/whatever in his voice.

i think he didn't return texts once he knew that MH was coming into town. bbm:

nov. 28th/http://durangoherald.com/article/20121127/NEWS01/121129616/-1/s
“I wish it could be different, because at a time like this, we should be together.”

nov. 29th/http://www.koat.com/news/new-mexico/Authorities-search-home-of-missing-teen-s-father/-/9153762/17591544/-/15sgq0m/-/index.html
Mark Redwine said he wishes he and his ex-wife could come together at such a difficult time.

dec. 3rd/http://www.gazette.com/articles/dylan-148038-son-redwine.html
Mark Redwine said he would like to meet with his ex-wife but so far has not had success beyond the text messages.
“I don’t want to have dinner with her and become buddy, buddy, but as parents of a missing child, people need to know that we can put our differences aside and that we want our son back,” he said.

IMO that's exactly what he wanted. to have dinner with her, to see her...

in early articles, it was stated that MH were 'significant others' and MSM referred to him as her 'boyfriend'. later articles called him her fiance. did MR even know that ER and MH were now engaged?

 

[Confusion]

Aww, well that's too bad. He's a grown man with a missing child. He should have manned up and talked to the mother of that child.

Could she have done more to help find him than the Marshall could?

 

[azgrandma]

I wonder what MR planned to do to his son for choosing to live with his mother and brother rather than him?

How did MR plan to toughen up his teenage son who chose to live with his mommy rather than him?

Thirteen is when a boy needs to start learning what it means to be a man so I wonder if this is what MR intended to do with Dylan when he arrived to spend an entire week with him?

Dylan’s phone was immediately turned off after Dylan notified his mom and friend because his father's plans imo.

Cory viciously beat his father unconsciousness, so in this family, their history shows the men settled their arguments by exercising extreme violence and humiliating each other so it makes sense that MR would need to teach Dylan how to fight but not necessarily in self defence.

Apparently MR was drunk and unable to defend himself when his younger son picked a fight with him so it wasn't a fair fight to begin with.

Cory took responsibility and admitted he beat his father and there may not have been any eye witnesses who saw them fighting.

I’m withholding my compassion for MR until _____________________.

After Elaine received a text from MR telling her Dylan was gone, she should have questioned him. She needed to know what he had done or what happened so she knows what to do next, and she didn’t, so now it is up to LE to conduct an interrogation imo.

How do you know she didn't? Is that reported anywhere? I really really really doubt that a mother would get a text (which imo is strange in itself) and NOT question the father.

 

[asyousay]

I totally disagree. I believe his son should have been the first thing on his mind.

That is a given but he could not do anything as he had no leads or anything so calling her via the phone would not of changed a thing and would of delayed him about 5 mins as he explained he was going to the police .


Anyhoo i wont say anymore on it as i do not want to keep going on

 

[Confusion]

How do you know she didn't? Is that reported anywhere? I really really really doubt that a mother would get a text (which imo is strange in itself) and NOT question the father.

In the beginning, she said that he had sent her a text asking her if she had talked to Dylan, she said she said no and asked why she should have. He said that he couldn't find him, and she said they should call the police. He either was at the Marshall's office or went right after texting with her, and she called the sherriff's Office right away. I see nothing wrong with any of that. MOO