CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #17

[NC Analyzer]

I actually know (via my SO) a certified deadbeat dad who doesn't pay child support but had a college fund set up for his kids. One of them is using it now to go to school.

I don't get the reasoning either, perhaps he thought his ex would not spend the money on the kids, but the law is the law.

BTW did I miss the evidence on MR not paying child support?

Yes, you did. Some of us were sleuthing MR's family court records last night. It ended up in one of those "things" :blushing: that caused the thread to get shut down for about an hour.
We have been advised to cool it....but MR isn't going to be up for father of the year but he might get a prize for being one of "those guys" who appears to enjoy filing court motions to aggravate a couple of ex-wives.

 

[aust amateur slueth]

looking at times of the text exchange between Ryan and Dylan, it was between 6.43 and 7.09 that Dylan said he can't come that his dad had said no.

its not exactly 'late' is it.

 

[mmmagique]

I really don't see the outrage at the college fund. Those who pay child support aren't guaranteed that money actually goes to the child. It's supposed to, of course, but does it always? I know more people than not who use their child support $$ for their own purpose than their childs. MOO

Child support is supposed to reimburse the parent receiving it for money spent on the child. That includes but is not limited to: shelter, heat/air, food, clothing, extra curricular activities, schooling, transportation, etc. etc. etc.

Is the receiving parent supposed to put that money in a separate account somewhere and only use it for say...1/3 of the housing, 1/3 of the heat/air, etc.?

Or is it more reasonable to expect that the parent (who is already spending his/her own money on the child with or without support) is intelligent and caring enough to use it at his/her own discretion to benefit the child?

Not every parent does, of course, but what most people do not understand is that money has already been spent on the child. Basically, the paying parent is playing "catch up" on expenses that have been already taken care of. If *I* received child support right now (by some miracle) and wanted to spend it all on Gucci purses and vacations, it would be my right to do so. I've spent years caring for our children with no help whatsoever.

Another way of looking at it is the "swimming pool method". Let's say you have a big swimming pool full of water (money) You have 40 gallons of water. Then, let's say the NCP pays child support of 5 gallons. Now you have 45 gallons of water. You dip into the swimming pool and pay ten gallons for rent, and 3 gallons for your vehicle, 2 gallons for food, etc. How do you separate out the "child support" water from the other water you contributed?

There is a reason courts do not ask for everything to be separate, and it's because it would be unfeasible to do so.

 

[asyousay]

looking at times of the text exchange between Ryan and Dylan, it was between 6.43 and 7.09 that Dylan said he can't come that his dad had said no.

its not exactly 'late' is it.

And Dylan did not seem to know why Dad said he could not visit that night !

 

[NC Analyzer]

Please show me where I said MOST custodial parents... I said in MY experience....

Sorry. I didn't look back to see your exact quote, but the meaning was pretty much the same. You cast a wide net on custodial parents and unless you actually know some that are receiving big bucks for child support, you can't say that they are using it for their own personal needs.
If a parent provides, food, clothing, shelter, utilities, school and activity expenses, etc. out of their own money for their child but then perhaps receives a child support check and treats themselves to a trip to the beauty saloon, it doesn't exactly mean they are using their child support for the beauty saloon. This is something I've seen several folks get a bit confused about.

 

[ICUDOUCME]

So we have a kid texting Dylan at 6:46am, and at no time in the day does Dylan ever respond to this text. He had access to landline, and his phone, and his friend never heard from him. 7:30MR says DR was awake and aware enough to know he was leaving, and DR still doesn't check his phone afterwards....cereal bowl by the sink and Nick on TV and still doesn't hear from DR.....yeah this isn't right...something is wrong.

 

[IHAVENOCLUE]

Does it really matter if MR had a college fund or not?

Only if MR stated he has set one up for Dylan.... And he actually has not....

JMO

 

[tiredblondy]

I think the problem here is the poster said "most" custodial parents....which would be a touchy subject considering "most" custodial parents don't receive anything close to what it costs to raise a child. This type of generalization will often land one in "hot water".
I doubt most of the reply's have much to do with ER's use of child support money. Just a defensive reaction because the generalization was so absurd.

With all due respect.

Perhaps the generalization was not absurd for that person's experience. I can only speak to my experience and my opinions.

I can name 10 situations I'm familiar with where the child support money does not go for rent or food or clothes for the children but for other needs of the mother and her boyfriend or drugs.

As far as child support here in NC it's pretty easy to have child support awarded through the court and then it's not up to the parent to decide anything about the child support. It's the courts that take action and a parent cannot forgive back child support if that's the case. I've been there and I know from my situation.

When could WS'ers not state their opinions as they saw them without being attacked. When was every word someone says taken issue with...good grief

 

[mmmagique]

No, more like getting their hair and nails done. MOO

Unless you are a forensic accountant, with access to records of all monies coming in and going out, you cannot say that. You just don't know.

You *may* know that mom is waiting on the check to get there so she can re-coup some money already spent (on food, clothing, housing, necessities and luxuries for the children) but you cannot know the truth of the matter without some serious digging.

 

[Kimster]

What you cannot do: Generalize about what other members post and that they shouldn't post their opinions that differ from your own

What you can do: Discuss a certain aspect of the case with a poster you don't agree with and state your reason for a differing opinion. This can be a healthy debate. Do not expect them to change their mind. And if the other poster says "agree to disagree", let it go.

The generalizations end here and now.

 

[JustJeannie]

[/B]

Exactly - that is why ....

Investigators would like to talk to anyone who was taking photos or shooting videos that show vehicles along the typical routes between Vallecito and Durango from 6 p.m. Nov. 18 to noon Nov. 19. That would include County Road 501 and Florida Road (County Road 240).

http://www.durangoherald.com/article/20121128/NEWS01/121129612/Law-enforcement-says-missing-teenager-did-not-run-away--

As one who is still on the fence, that is information I would love to know myself. Did that video turn up any footage of MR on the road during the night? Did his cell phone ping from somewhere not near his house during those hours?

That's the kind of information that could push me off the fence if the answers were yes. That's solid information, which would show he was lying about what happened that night.

And alternatively (since I am on the fence) I would love to know about that video footage also to see if there were any cars cruising the area that aren't from around there and could possibly be an abductor casing things out.

Unfortunately for me, it's also information that I doubt they will share with us if they do have it. At least until they build a case, whether against MR or someone else. They don't exactly seem like the sharing type, and they may have their own good reasons for not releasing it

 

[aust amateur slueth]

I know some people don't want to consider MR having involvement but seriously Dylans phone stopped pinging on sunday night, logically thats where our starting point needs to be from wouldn't you say?

The sunday night that is not MR


IMO though the latest Durango Herald article just turned up the heat in a big way

 

[SuziQ]

IMO that has been reported many times in MSM. Just had a quick google and here is one example :

IIRC, LE has also said that no one is cleared.

 

[LotusPawprint]

From my past experience trying to look at both sides here= no. One gets accused of falling for his lies and caring about MR and falling for what he says and being gullible.

I'm still on the fence but if I offer another side or look at something not involving MR I get accused of support MR when I'm just trying to look objectively at other possibilities.

Has an abduction been ruled out?
Do we know if dogs tracked Dylan's scent?

Until an abduction is ruled out I'm on the fence. Nothing I have seen changes my mind yet. However I'm sure I'll get blasted for this .

So just a warning if one offers any question or comment that involves something other than MR being guilty... you need to duck and get ready.

That is why I stopped posting here. I truly admire the others who are trying to be objective and look elsewhere other than MR.

I find it interesting some of the questions that were asked of an insider were NOT answered, like does MR have his vehicles back yet, etc. Things that actually pertain to what is happening NOW in this case not something that happened years ago.

So if one dares to look anywhere other than MR as a murderer get ready for the fall out.

I don't think those questions are unreasonable at all.

I think everyone is desperate to know the answers to your questions.

I think the vague responses from LE and/or their ever-changing responses and silence has prevented most of us from getting past the blatantly obvious problem that is MR.

I think some people are open to options other than MR but they're not willing to ignore the mounting suspicious circumstances and unanswered gaps in the timeline.

I think it's great that some "objective" people are on the fence and want to explore other alternatives-- for me it's helpful in the few instances where those individuals actually bring information onto the threads for everyone to explore... like specifics on SO's or detailed plausible theories instead of just rebutting anything that has to do with MR.

I would think a verified insider might not be tied to his/her computer at a time like this available for Q&A sessions, especially since this must all be upsetting and personal.


ALL JMO.

 

[TxLady2]

I think the item LE found in the Jessica Ridgeway case was a wooden cross. Instead of keeping that information close to the vest, they released it to the public...including a photo of the cross. That decision led them straight to the killer. The mother of the perp saw the photo and called authorities.

I think LE should learn from this that releasing info to the public is becoming more and more helpful in capturing criminals. Take Holly Bobo's case...where LE (and that danged TBI...they are close to worthless in most cases, sorry to say and forgive me but I'm so fed up with them) has released almost nothing. They won't even release the various 911 calls. I think this has hurt that case tremendously and it has grown cold.

How would releasing the 911 calls in Holly's case help solve it? They know what the calls consisted of, we don't need to know. What would we do with those calls even if we heard them? Nothing except talk about them till the cows come home which wouldn't solve anything.

They always hold back some information, for good reason. It helps weed out the nutcases who like to confess to crimes just for attention. Or if they're questioning someone who mentions a tiny detail that LE has not released to the media, there's a good chance that person either committed the crime or was there when it happened.

We as the public do not have the right to know anything unless it can assist LE in solving the case. No matter how much we crave information on any of these cases, they do not have to give it to us. But when they do release something, it is with the purpose of helping them.

 

[mmmagique]

From my past experience trying to look at both sides here= no. One gets accused of falling for his lies and caring about MR and falling for what he says and being gullible.

I'm still on the fence but if I offer another side or look at something not involving MR I get accused of support MR when I'm just trying to look objectively at other possibilities.

Has an abduction been ruled out?
Do we know if dogs tracked Dylan's scent?


Until an abduction is ruled out I'm on the fence. Nothing I have seen changes my mind yet. However I'm sure I'll get blasted for this .

So just a warning if one offers any question or comment that involves something other than MR being guilty... you need to duck and get ready.

That is why I stopped posting here. I truly admire the others who are trying to be objective and look elsewhere other than MR.

I find it interesting some of the questions that were asked of an insider were NOT answered, like does MR have his vehicles back yet, etc. Things that actually pertain to what is happening NOW in this case not something that happened years ago.

So if one dares to look anywhere other than MR as a murderer get ready for the fall out.

I disagree. I see people who believe MR probably did something bad trying as hard as they can to believe something...anything else. Just...something. lease:

 

[cattlekate]

If they had joint custody (or whatever it's called in Colorado), he probably wouldn't have paid any support, at least that's how it works here. Of course, there are different types of custody: One can have sole physical custody while they have shared legal custody.

I agree and this is why I do not think child support was an issue. Even if the new decree had visitation overnights going below 93, the cost ER had to pay to accommodate the visitation, plus the difference between her white collar salary and what appears to be a laborer salary, makes me think MR had just a small cs obligation, if any.

I just read azgrandma's posts and pray she posts more. The type of abuse would be telling. Such as, was it verbal abuse of their boys like "you are lazy and worthless" or physical slapping/yanking/hitting? Or was the abuse towards her in front of their sons?

 

[NC Analyzer]

With all due respect.

Perhaps the generalization was not absurd for that person's experience. I can only speak to my experience and my opinions.

I can name 10 situations I'm familiar with where the child support money does not go for rent or food or clothes for the children but for other needs of the mother and her boyfriend or drugs.

As far as child support here in NC it's pretty easy to have child support awarded through the court and then it's not up to the parent to decide anything about the child support. It's the courts that take action and a parent cannot forgive back child support if that's the case. I've been there and I know from my situation.

When could WS'ers not state their opinions as they saw them without being attacked. When was every word someone says taken issue with...good grief

If the children are homeless or hungry or don't have decent seasonal clothing to wear, then this is an issue for Child Protective Services.
I live in the same state, have a child support case and worked for Social Services...I know the system.
If the child isn't lacking basic necessities, then you don't have a CPS issue but you may have plenty of ammunition to take before a judge to have your custody changed.
I also refuse to hear that you cannot afford an attorney. If you have the evidence for court, you can easily represent yourself in these type of matters. Judges are very patient and understanding when a petitioner appears pro se.

 

[LotusPawprint]

After reading the texts from Dylan's friend's phone, here's the relevant part of the transcript from the uncut video interview MR did with family friend:


R: So you went to run errands. Were you going to take him with you to run errands?

M: Well, there was some discussion he had with me the night before about leaving with me so I could drop him off in the Bayfield are with one of his friends that had been trying to text him or that he had been communicating with. As he had indicated to me he had been up until 4 o'clock in the morning the night before, he was tired from being in the airport most of the day in his travel from Colorado Springs to Durango. I laughed at him kind of jokingly because I know him. If he ain't got to get up, he's not likely to get up. And he's not the type of kid who's going to get up at 6:30 if he doesn't have to. But you know, his friends are important and I know they're important me. So there was a possibility but it doesn't surprise me he elected to not get up when I left. And when I left, he acknowledged everything I was saying to him and that I would be back. He knew when I came back that I would be working on getting him down to his friends. And that's part of the struggle we all have, you know, what happened to him between the time I left and when I got back. And that's what nobody seems to be able to answer.

 

[SCHMAE]

The thought has also occurred to me that the fishing pole may have been brought up as an excuse, to explain why Dylan was there if our worst fears are realized and Dylan is eventually found in the lake? Not sure why, but my thoughts keep taking me back there...(jmo)

Ditto fishing pole red herring. I quit thinking about it 2 days after it came up.
But just now reading all these red herring posts, I got a little nag. What if the fishing pole is " the key'' as in......the reason for everything. Say MR wanted to get DR a pole and DR said PFFT please.... or MR did buy it and DR was not as excited as he should have been or even said ' i hate this pole' or somehow the pole began the chain of events that ended.........wherever it ended ? See, could be MR's focus on the pole is more like 'if i only i hadnt bought that stupid pole'.......