CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #52

[Emma Ems]

BBM

Yes, I do believe one and not the other. Because one statement is self serving and the other is not. JMO

And just because Mark was home while ER worked during some early years, it does not 'prove scientifically' that Dylan was absolutely more bonded to MR. That depends entirely upon Mrks level of connection and caring. Given the critical nature and rude jabs I have seen him giving out towards many people, I doubt he was a very caring, gracious person. JMO

I actually tend to believe the science as I am a stay at home mom currently. I was not for my oldest, so the relationships are different. My youngest tends to stick to me like glue, but she loves her daddy too. When she gets hurt though, she comes running to me. My oldest will go to us both equally, actually, who ever is closer. I don't know how that will change as my youngest gets older though.

You say it depends on his level of connection and caring with Dylan, but how do you know what that was? I am not pretending to even know that, only that it's possible if MR stayed home with him. Those people, you refer to, are not Dylan. People have different types of relationships with different people.

 

[Emma Ems]

So you have seen those documents, and you are still trying to convince us all that Dylan had a better bonding with Mark than he did with Elaine? :waitasec:

Yes I saw those documents on the INTERVIEW screen, like I am sure everyone else did if they payed attention. Due to the fact the documents were redacted we can't be certain it was Dylan who hit MR, the reporter could have misspoken which child it was as MOST of the conversation is about Cory, IIRC. I believe it was most likely Cory who was there, and we know from all the various interviews that MR and CR did not have the best relationship. And again, I will state that this is about Dylan. MR's relationship with Dylan could have been VERY different from his relationship with Cory. MR does not state he bonded with Cory, nor does he make claims about having a better relationship with Cory than ER does.

 

[katydid23]

Yes I saw those documents on the INTERVIEW screen, like I am sure everyone else did if they payed attention. Due to the fact the documents were redacted we can't be certain it was Dylan who hit MR, the reporter could have misspoken which child it was as MOST of the conversation is about Cory, IIRC. I believe it was most likely Cory who was there, and we know from all the various interviews that MR and CR did not have the best relationship. And again, I will state that this is about Dylan. MR's relationship with Dylan could have been VERY different from his relationship with Cory. MR does not state he bonded with Cory, nor does he make claims about having a better relationship with Cory than ER does.

Mark was three older sons. None of them want anything to do with him. So the chances are that Dylan felt the same way as he grew up and became more mature and learned more about his dad. I see no evidence that Mark had a close bond with Dylan. NONE. Mark didn't even go out searching when he first saw Dylan was not home. He took a nap. That is how close he was to his son, imo.

 

[Crosby87]

Given the animosity of these two parents, I wonder if EH didn't block MR's number from Dylan's phone. This is a possible explanation for Dylan not returning text messages to his father.

If anyone chooses to research this possibility, remember that Dylan has Verizon cell service presumably attached to his mother's account. A blocked text message goes into the airwaves and the sender never gets any kind of notice and the receiver never does either. Only an account manager could block or unblock a number from a phone with Dylan being totally unaware. Phone calls are different and Verizon has a standard message that the blocked person gets when they attempt to call. I'm sure someone can locate that recording.

Unless Mark asked Elaine or Dylan why Dylan wasn’t responding to his text messages, why wouldn’t he suspect Elaine either blocked his messages on Dylan’s phone or instructed Dylan not to answer him?

MR told MB the reason Dylan didn't reply to his text messages was "because his environment wasn’t conducive for that" and he may have said that to cover up the fact he believed Elaine was involved in this and it was her fault.

And while this was going on, Dylan had a secret meeting with the Judge which resulted in Elaine winning primary custody of Dylan. Yikes!

MOO

 

[katydid23]

I saved something ages ago that was really an eye opener for me. It was posted by KH and I just cut and pasted it into a word doc. (as a novice I had no idea that screen capping was the norm) on March 2 without even noting where it came from. Please read it:

Just because he stayed home with him in the early years, it does not necessarily mean that Dylan felt especially close to him. I had an uncle that babysat us for year after my parents divorced, and my MOm went to work. And we hated his guts.

 

[Emma Ems]

Mark was three older sons. None of them want anything to do with him. So the chances are that Dylan felt the same way as he grew up and became more mature and learned more about his dad. I see no evidence that Mark had a close bond with Dylan. NONE. Mark didn't even go out searching when he first saw Dylan was not home. He took a nap. That is how close he was to his son, imo.

Again, that's not always true, Katy. I can attest from personal experience that it's not true. BIL youngest of three children, he was the closest to his father, while the other two, for quite a while did not like their father. It wasn't until they were older adults that they learned to forgive their father of his "short comings" as a father. This is not one of those areas that is black and white. There is a lot of gray and to look at it like there isn't any gray, IMO, is erroneous.

 

[Redhead72]

Given the animosity of these two parents, I wonder if EH didn't block MR's number from Dylan's phone. This is a possible explanation for Dylan not returning text messages to his father.

If anyone chooses to research this possibility, remember that Dylan has Verizon cell service presumably attached to his mother's account. A blocked text message goes into the airwaves and the sender never gets any kind of notice and the receiver never does either. Only an account manager could block or unblock a number from a phone with Dylan being totally unaware. Phone calls are different and Verizon has a standard message that the blocked person gets when they attempt to call. I'm sure someone can locate that recording.

Blocking a parent's phone number from your child's phone is a pretty heinous thing to do. Is this just a suspicion on your part, or is there something that leads you to believe this is true? I don't understand why she would do that despite the supposed animosity - and I'm not sure I feel there was horrible animosity there, really. EH could have made things much, much worse for MR if she really wanted to do so - for the reasons we can't discuss.

Also, how would one go about researching a charge like this anyway? How do we know, for instance, that Dylan didn't block his Dad's number HIMSELF? And, again, what proof is there that the number was blocked in the first place?

ETA: O/T (kind of) snark... we could always call the NSA and ask them for transcripts of all the messages back and forth considering it's a verizon account...

 

[katydid23]

I actually tend to believe the science as I am a stay at home mom currently. I was not for my oldest, so the relationships are different. My youngest tends to stick to me like glue, but she loves her daddy too. When she gets hurt though, she comes running to me. My oldest will go to us both equally, actually, who ever is closer. I don't know how that will change as my youngest gets older though.



You say it depends on his level of connection and caring with Dylan, but how do you know what that was? I am not pretending to even know that, only that it's possible if MR stayed home with him. Those people, you refer to, are not Dylan. People have different types of relationships with different people.

If Dylan felt closer to Mark than he did to Elaine, then why didn't he talk to his dad during the previous few months? Thirteen yr olds are not technology challenged. If marks number was blocked and Dylan wanted to contact him, he would have figured that out. If Dylan was so close and bonded to Mark he would have contacted him by email or text or mail or something.

And 'those people' I am discussing are HIS SONS. they are not just random people. How he treated his older sons will go a long way in describing how he treated Dylan. You say ' how do we know how he treated Dylan?' I only know what the situation was described as. Mark was out of work, <modsnip>. So I have to wonder how great his caretaking skills were under that pressure. JMO

 

[Crosby87]

Yes

Mark vividly remembers the last vacation he took with his son, a road trip to Boston in August. They visited Fenway Park and went to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y. It was a dream vacation for a boy who loves baseball and is a devoted Red Sox fan.

http://www.durangoherald.com/article/20121215/NEWS01/121219687

Mark said their vacation was a dream but we don’t know if it was or not.
If something happened that offended Dylan during their trip, that could have caused him to avoid his father’s text messages when they got back.

Coincidently, this trip took place before Dylan had a private meeting with the Judge and afaik, Mark doesn't know what Dylan told him. JMO

 

[katydid23]

Blocking a parent's phone number from your child's phone is a pretty heinous thing to do. Is this just a suspicion on your part, or is there something that leads you to believe this is true? I don't understand why she would do that despite the supposed animosity - and I'm not sure I feel there was horrible animosity there, really. EH could have made things much, much worse for MR if she really wanted to do so - for the reasons we can't discuss.

Also, how would one go about researching a charge like this anyway? How do we know, for instance, that Dylan didn't block his Dad's number HIMSELF? And, again, what proof is there that the number was blocked in the first place?

ETA: O/T (kind of) snark... we could always call the NSA and ask them for transcripts of all the messages back and forth considering it's a verizon account...

13 yr olds are very advanced , technology wise. And if D had wanted to contact his Dad, and tried to call him, he would have immediately realized the number was blocked. There is no notice on the other end, but on the 'blocked' end it is noted that you cannot call that number. JMO

 

[catswhiskers]

Well it's a shame the other side of a story just can't be told under any circumstances. To me that told a story about a warm and loving relationship between the members of that extended family. I question why people can't bear that info to be aired and seen for what it is. So sad for Dylan and his entire family on every single level.
:moo:

 

[katydid23]

Again, that's not always true, Katy. I can attest from personal experience that it's not true. BIL youngest of three children, he was the closest to his father, while the other two, for quite a while did not like their father. It wasn't until they were older adults that they learned to forgive their father of his "short comings" as a father. This is not one of those areas that is black and white. There is a lot of gray and to look at it like there isn't any gray, IMO, is erroneous.

Ok, so maybe he suddenly became a 'great' father with his youngest child That still does not explain why he took a nap in response to his child being missing.

 

[JustJeannie]

My opinion, and I admit I am the kind of person who believes that until proven otherwise, the simplest and most logical answer is PROBABLY the right one, is that Dylan didn't answer his father's texts because he didn't want to answer them. If he wanted to talk to his dad, he could have called or texted him. Apparently, he didn't. There has to be a reason for that, and IMO it was because, for whatever reason, he didn't want to talk to him.

I don't for a second think Elaine blocked the number or told him not to call Mark, but even if she had... And again, I don't think she did... He was 13 and not attached to his mother at the hip. If he really wanted to talk to Mark, he could have done it when she wasn't around. And probably would have. MOO

And if he was upset or unhappy with his life, and was so close to Mark, why in the world would he have been distant when he got to his dad's? If that were the case, I would have expected him to be excited and happy to be with his dad at his old home, not distant.

Again, all my own opinion.

 

[katydid23]

So, I already explained what I thought happened, read back up if you really are that interested.

You didn't specify and considering he has said things about a lot of people that others deem as jabs(LE, ER, People stalking him, ETC) maybe you should have clarified who you meant and it wouldn't have been an issue. People to me, is a general term. Not a mind reader here.

I saw your explanation. 'MAYBE he became a better father with his 4th child.' I don't see that, according to what I have seen so far. I think you are who you are, and a tiger doesn't change his spots. I still see a bitter, obnoxious, critical old jerk, and not a loving, caring father. JMO

 

[Lordeebee]

Ok, so maybe he suddenly became a 'great' father with his youngest child That still does not explain why he took a nap in response to his child being missing.

I think it had more to do with Dylan getting to the age where he realized his father wasn't so great.

 

[Emma Ems]

Ok, so maybe he suddenly became a 'great' father with his youngest child That still does not explain why he took a nap in response to his child being missing.

Is it wrong for me to take a nap while my child is out playing? A child who was old enough to play without constant supervision? My youngest is hanging with a grandparent today, my oldest is off playing with friends, I am tired. I can take a nap since it's quiet. Taking a nap doesn't mean he is a bad father. Being a "lax" dad doesn't mean he didn't love Dylan. If he is accustomed to Dylan going off and doing his own thing and it's something he allowed, it doesn't mean, again, that he doesn't love him or care about him. Different strokes for different folks. What works for me may not work for you(general) all that good stuff. Wonder what he did during summers when MR was home and Dylan stayed there, on the days MR had to go do the payroll?

 

[katydid23]

My opinion, and I admit I am the kind of person who believes that until proven otherwise, the simplest and most logical answer is PROBABLY the right one, is that Dylan didn't answer his father's texts because he didn't want to answer them. If he wanted to talk to his dad, he could have called or texted him. Apparently, he didn't. There has to be a reason for that, and IMO it was because, for whatever reason, he didn't want to talk to him.

I don't for a second think Elaine blocked the number or told him not to call Mark, but even if she had... And again, I don't think she did... He was 13 and not attached to his mother at the hip. If he really wanted to talk to Mark, he could have done it when she wasn't around. And probably would have. MOO

And if he was upset or unhappy with his life, and was so close to Mark, why in the world would he have been distant when he got to his dad's? If that were the case, I would have expected him to be excited and happy to be with his dad at his old home, not distant.

Again, all my own opinion.

If he was so excited to be with his Dad, WHY did he make plans to immediately get dropped off at his friends? And when Mark nixed that, Dylan said how about 6:30 am. It does not sound like he was missing his Dad and couldn't wait to be with him, imo.

 

[Lordeebee]

I think it had more to do with Dylan getting to the age where he realized his father wasn't so great.

AND that his father realized that he was no longer going to get the respect that Dylan previously had shown him (through child lenses). MOO

 

[Emma Ems]

I saw your explanation. 'MAYBE he became a better father with his 4th child.' I don't see that, according to what I have seen so far. I think you are who you are, and a tiger doesn't change his spots. I still see a bitter, obnoxious, critical old jerk, and not a loving, caring father. JMO

Your post isn't reading very well, can you clarify, because right now it looks like you are trying to call me MR. If so, that's funny.

Phew, just reread that, my eyes are burning, as I was cooking in cast iron. I tried reading it twice and it still didn't read right, but now I see. I am LOL at myself right now.

 

[Lordeebee]

If he was so excited to be with his Dad, WHY did he make plans to immediately get dropped off at his friends? And when Mark nixed that, Dylan said how about 6:30 am. It does not sound like he was missing his Dad and couldn't wait to be with him, imo.

IF it was Dylan who sent that text.