I found out that there is one life-changing moment, and it happens to many.
It is what ensues when spouses/couples spending most time together, get separated for a very trivial reason (one goes for a trip, or a hike, or just visits sick parents, or something else equally mundane). And the other one stays home. And suddenly realizes that he/she is expecting the return of the partner with...horror, boredom, fear, anger, you name it. It is not merely lack of love, it is an active wish that the partner doesn’t come back.
In most, normal, reasonable, people, such insight eventually leads to a divorce. In itself, this sudden awakening (“we are too different”, “I don’t want her/him to return”) is usually a positive, liberating, event. But few start contemplating something more sinister than leaving. Either because they don’t want to pay for the divorce, or because they are limited, mentally.
I think in the Ms’ family, it was Suzanne’s illness and hospitalization that set a very specific pattern of thinking in her husband’s head. Before, they didn’t part for long, and I don’t think the move changed anything, they were still a family. But her illness - Suzanne changed, and she was spending a lot of time in the hospital, and there was the risk of her dying.
But she survived, and returned back, and disappeared.
How do I say yes, yes, no, yes, no, yes and yes again. And no, I didn't keep up, lol.
I don't think he was ever invested in this marriage as an equal partner. Suzanne knew her place.
Whether she was a grade school teacher, she was first and utmost his wife who cleaned and cooked, a maid and an asset. A very pretty one.
Then she was a mother to his children and did the same, without acting up or having a voice. Keeping the peace for the sake of her daughters.
Once she failed in her duties, she wasn't valuable. And, I mean all duties.
It was her fault she had cancer. Not his problem. He couldn't sit through ONE of her chemo sessions.
Don't even know why he showed up. Maybe it was one of his daughter's suggestions - hoping he may have some compassion for their mother.
I'm going to go one further (or twelve).
Suppose his fragile ego was butthurt that SM could no longer wantingly cater to him and his whims without questioning his love and care for her.
And/or/especially the and, suppose someone else was showing him interest that was all about him, fulfilling his needy psyche and all that entails.
It happens, especially when a partner has an illness. Wimpy *** only thinks about himself.
Then, SM is conveying, let's say, to friends that she's unhappy and is thinking of getting a divorce. Her husband finds out. She also confronts him about financial issues and a possible affair - let's just suppose.
Add to that, a large inheritance that BM may not have access to - not talking about the $500K that went into the CO home. That's fifty fifty, at this point.
I guess that covers it for now. I don't have all twelve in me, it's late, but there's more than that.
I'm not saying any of this happened or is relevant to this relationship, even though I do believe it all is, and more.
This is pure conjecture and JMO, my own perspective and my instinctive intuition.
IMO