Found Deceased CO - Suzanne Morphew, 49, did not return from bike ride, Chaffee County, 10 May 2020 #36

[Warwick7]

In a recent newscast with Lauren, BM, IIRC, told her he was surprised to learn that there were no "missing" flyers in the LE office in Salida. Apparently he hadn't bothered to bring any there himself.

Oh yeah! Bam!
You gave a perfect reply to BM.

 

[Dave F.]

Well, from the beginning it was noted that cell phone service in that area is not reliable, so whether they got rid of the landline or never had it in the first place, it seems strange that they would not have a landline.

Suzanne's father also said that after they moved to Colorado they had very little communication with her. I don't think he or AM would have mentioned it if it wasn't a change to what they were used to. I don't think they are exaggerating, especially since AM seemed convinced at first that BM had nothing to do with Suzanne's disappearance. I think he didn't see the warning signs at the time but once he realized BM might be responsible his actions took on a different meaning.

AM said that when he called them, he wouldn't hear back for several days. I don't think he said whether he left messages on Suzanne's phone or not, but he said he left messages for BM that were never returned. BM pointed a finger at SM's family for not communicating with her, but that still doesn't explain why he wouldn't answer AM's calls just to let him know how Suzanne was doing.

That BM was against Suzanne taking medication doesn't necessarily mean he was controlling, but it supports the claim early on that he was controlling and made all the decisions about the finances, and SM took a more submissive role in the marriage.

It's one thing to be against taking medication, but to browbeat, or give someone a hard time about their choices about their own mental health is another thing. Suzanne would know best what the side effects were for any medication she was taking, and it would be entirely her decision. She should not have been made to feel guilty about it, especially since guilt is a common symptom in the first place. I've never heard of any adverse effects of medical marijuana to treat cancer. How would she know if she never tried it? How could Barry know?

BM doesn't sound very supportive to me. According to SM's friend it was her daughter who went with her to the treatment sessions for cancer. If he was so concerned about medication and how she responded to it, why wasn't he there himself?

I think there may have been more problems in the marriage than her family knew, especially since SM had been isolated from them for the past two years. It seems she had confided in at least one of her friends, though.

I don't think money was the primary motivator either, but I do think Suzanne may have considered or asked for a divorce and BM was not willing to let her go.

IMO

I am puzzled how AM would know an intimate detail like SM's non-use of CBD, when it was so hard to communicate. That seems like such a strange question to ask in a brief conversation that is overshadowed by an abusive spouse. In fact, it just doesn't compute for me. IMO

 

[MassGuy]

I am puzzled how AM would know an intimate detail like SM's non-use of CBD, when it was so hard to communicate. That seems like such a strange question to ask in a brief conversation that is overshadowed by an abusive spouse. In fact, it just doesn't compute for me. IMO

Well it makes complete sense to me, and I have no reason not to believe that AM is being truthful here.

It’s a natural thing to come up in regards to Suzanne’s cancer battle. “What are you taking to manage the symptoms?” Or something along those lines.

And I don’t know how that is an “intimate detail.”

 

[Dave F.]

Well it makes complete sense to me, and I have no reason not to believe that AM is being truthful here.

It’s a natural thing to come up in regards to Suzanne’s cancer battle. “What are you taking to manage the symptoms?” Or something along those lines.

And I don’t know how that is an “intimate detail.”

It's a nosy question. An answer that she wanted to use medical weed, but her husband forbade it, is an intimate detail that a normal person would not reveal in a rare conversation. IMO

 

[10ofRods]

I am puzzled how AM would know an intimate detail like SM's non-use of CBD, when it was so hard to communicate. That seems like such a strange question to ask in a brief conversation that is overshadowed by an abusive spouse. In fact, it just doesn't compute for me. IMO

It sounds like the kind of thing a woman might share with her BFF or her sister.

It also sounds like the kind of thing that a woman's daughters might share with an aunt or a cousin.

In any case, it is the kind of thing that a woman finally shares when the series of "bans" laid down by the husband gets to a certain level. Interfering with someone's cancer treatment/medical care rises to a level where making a complaint seems warranted (an unusual act for a submissive woman).

We know that AM has spoken with the BFF. I'd say it's a very small leap to infer that the BFF is the source. I also think that BM was well aware that SM was communicating with the BFF. I'd love to know the pattern of that communication and would be more than willing to write something on that topic for a judge to read (these days, prosecutors know all the same stats - they are easy to find).

There's a pattern here. It has big components and small ones, but none of it is pointing to an egalitarian marriage. Or a woman who is frequently and freely in contact with her friends or family. Even if the reason began with Suzanne being ill, that's exactly the reason that women who are ill are more likely to be victims of DV. Eventually, if I find out that BM is a kind and gentle man who merely looks uncaring, it won't change the fact that women who are ill are more likely to be abused.

And if it's true that BM banned use of anti-depressants and medical marijuana, then that's a classic move for a controlling husband. It's very common. It's a topic that we learn to bring up in DV counseling groups. Anti-depressants are specifically targeted within certain (Christian) religious communities. There are books on it.

Oddly, my sense of this case is that SM was finally coming out of the depression, had gotten good health news, was devoted to her cycling passion (which for her was apparently a solitary but pleasurable activity). She could be free to explore on her bike.

As I think many of us know, it is at these moments of relative independence that a woman is most vulnerable to DV. I do believe that LE has far more information (and witnesses who have not spoken up at all) to paint a rather clear picture of the dynamics here.

It took a therapist to point it the pattern out to me (actually - 3 total therapists over 10 years). The therapists knew the research and were trained to look for these patterns. Depression makes a woman vulnerable to DV too...

 

[Knox]

I am puzzled how AM would know an intimate detail like SM's non-use of CBD, when it was so hard to communicate. That seems like such a strange question to ask in a brief conversation that is overshadowed by an abusive spouse. In fact, it just doesn't compute for me. IMO

Hypothetical conversation. Keep in mind Andy said it was difficult to communicate, not there was NO communication.

AM - Hi Sis, called to check on you and see how you're feeling. I know the chemo treatments aren't easy, I'm worried about you.

SM- Well it's tough I have good days and bad, but no hair loss, so I'm feeling blessed.

AM - I wonder if CBD would ease some of your symptoms? Have you ever thought of trying it? I read an interesting article in the ...

SM - No, Barry doesn't want me to try it, he prefers I ....

 

[10ofRods]

It's a nosy question. An answer that she wanted to use medical weed, but her husband forbade it, is an intimate detail that a normal person would not reveal in a rare conversation. IMO

<modsnip> Well, here's some information.

Normal women reveal this kind of thing a LOT. And many of them do it on their public (not even private) facebooks! Even more, women actually ask each other pointed questions of this time - and yes, we are normal women who do this.

I am normal, but introverted. Still, with my best friends...OMJeez, are we likely to ask each other questions. And I had a perfectly normal man (who I don't know well at all) call me up and ask if I could procure medical marijuana for his wife.

It would be abnormal for a woman whose doctor had mentioned a treatment (and whose husband opposed that treatment) not to bring it up with sisters, daughters, good friends (we know that Suzanne had at least one good friend - obviously, it's normal to speak to them about such things!)

Seriously, I have women who know me only as a professor email me/tweet me/reach out to me on all kinds of matters that none of us consider "intimate," just, you know, things like depression, cannabis, anti-depressants, domestic violence, birth defects, neurological illnesses, serious illnesses, etc.

Listening only to the opinion of one's husband in a matter like this is abnormal. It's actually a symptom in DSM (Dependent Personality Disorder for one).

It should be really clear that a woman who didn't seek separate, personal advice in such a matter is truly in the orbit of her husband.

We've been using the word "controlling husband," would it help if we simply said "a closed system in which the male member makes decisions typically made by the individuals suffering an illness"? A closed system in which the male member is the decision-maker who from near and far, controls the length of the leash allowed to the other participants.

If the people around Suzanne looked at her as abnormal for trying to form an independent opinion, no wonder she didn't want many friends and carefully confided only in 1-3.

 

[mom2chloe]

It's a nosy question. An answer that she wanted to use medical weed, but her husband forbade it, is an intimate detail that a normal person would not reveal in a rare conversation. IMO

Perhaps Suzanne’s friend had inquired as to whether Suzanne had made use of medical marijuana while undergoing cancer treatment especially if the friend knew it was completely legal and encouraged in Colorado? If they had other intimate discussions I find it reasonable that this would have come up especially since Suzanne went missing. It may have been one of many red flags at least in the friends mind. I believe there were many more flags and the refusal to allow Suzanne to make use of MJ may be the very least of what we learn. IMO

EBM for grammar

 

[MassGuy]

It's a nosy question. An answer that she wanted to use medical weed, but her husband forbade it, is an intimate detail that a normal person would not reveal in a rare conversation. IMO

Intimate if you’re part of some uptight aristocracy maybe. This is something that would definitely come up if it occurred in my family.

Besides that, you’re not so subtly accusing AM of lying. Certainly seems like a bizarre thing for him to just make up.

 

[Itsapuzzle]

go tricia! maybe someone could make a list for her, of questions we want to ask! i would do it, but i'm going to bed shortly (in eu), and i don't know that i'll be here too much longer tonight. i don't think she'll have much time with lauren, so if she had a list of questions that could be helpful. just an idea.

Good idea swedeheart ..... h'mm, my question would be did LS ask BMwhy he refused the lie detector and voice analysis tests, and ..... this could be pushing it, but also why did he lie about having taken the lie detector and voice analysis tests, but definitely the first question.

 

[oviedo]

Hypothetical conversation. Keep in mind Andy said it was difficult to communicate, not there was NO communication.

AM - Hi Sis, called to check on you and see how you're feeling. I know the chemo treatments aren't easy, I'm worried about you.

SM- Well it's tough I have good days and bad, but no hair loss, so I'm feeling blessed.

AM - I wonder if CBD would ease some of your symptoms? Have you ever thought of trying it? I read an interesting article in the ...

SM - No, Barry doesn't want me to try it, he prefers I ....

Exactly -they are siblings and I see nothing strange about this type of conversation at all
JMO

 

[Boxer]

If there's one thing we know, it's that BM loves to point fingers at everyone.
Except himself, of course.

I love it when BM assumes a posture of (faux) sanctimonious outrage about LE's purported mistakes in the investigation, i.e., "they screwed everything up."

As if he has the first clue about LE's investigative activities and evidence collection.

LE isn't exactly in the habit of debriefing suspects on their daily progress.

So there's that.

JMO.

Whether he was involved in wrongdoing or not, tragedies are come as you are parties.

In a word he was not a good husband, not supportive, and not much is going to change MOO assessment.

 

[Knox]

Intimate if you’re part of some uptight aristocracy maybe. This is something that would definitely come up if it occurred in my family.

Besides that, you’re not so subtly accusing AM of lying. Certainly seems like a bizarre thing for him to just make up.

I giggled at uptight aristocracy, pictured the question being posed to the Queen Mother by Meghan Markle

I wanted to add- Andy gave a very vivid account of what Suzanne suffered when she received treatment as a teen. Hair & nail loss, ect. Thirty years later he seemed to remember what his sister suffered as if it were yesterday.

IMO, it's not odd at all Andy is asking questions about Suzanne's health in her second bout of cancer.

 

[GordianKnot]

It's a nosy question. An answer that she wanted to use medical weed, but her husband forbade it, is an intimate detail that a normal person would not reveal in a rare conversation. IMO

Well, but flip it around and look at this way:

What kind of person finds out their sister is fighting a recurrence of cancer and doesn't even bother to ask any questions about her health, the treatments she's receiving, and/or how her symptoms are being managed?

I don't have a hard time at all believing that SM would have shared that info with her family.

The fact that siblings don't speak often doesn't necessarily mean they're not emotionally close.

JMO.

 

[Boxer]

19057 Puma Path, Salida, CO is not a huge house. Just moderate sq. footage.

What is the sq ft.?

 

[Gigi3]

Intimate if you’re part of some uptight aristocracy maybe. This is something that would definitely come up if it occurred in my family.

Besides that, you’re not so subtly accusing AM of lying. Certainly seems like a bizarre thing for him to just make up.

Totally agree. AM has zero reasons to lie about anything.


I recall AM saying that after speaking with one of SM’s friends, that the marriage was not hunky dory. I imagine this was probably part of that same conversation in which this friend preceded to give AM reasons as to why the marriage was in trouble.

I’m failing to see why some are questioning AM’s credibility? JMO

 

[TKG]

Come on, now. You are selling BM short. Didn't he also file for guardianship of SM in order to sell property? Didn't he also buy some land?

After all, he does have to prioritize what's most important...

Don't forget the possible new whip..

 

[Puzzles8]

There are some general observations I'd like to offer about the year 2008.

We took our kids to college fall of 2008. I was very surprised to discover that landlines in their dorm rooms had been removed, at two different colleges. Especially concerning to me was that cell phone service was not completely reliable back then. But apparently, the trend had begun.

The other significant event in 2008 was the crash of the financial and real estate markets. Someone bought the Puma Path lot in 2008. It probably didn't turn out to be a very profitable investment.

Don't know how or if any of this figures in. I need to do a little more digging, but, I don't think I'm allowed to sleuth this path yet.

So, I'll just keep it in the back of my mind and maybe....start doing some research

JMO, MOO

 

[gitana1]

How did Barry do a half hour's worth of work with no tools and no materials? Is he a magician? IMO

Well it appears the old boy had some tools there, but was possibly too frazzled to remember to bring the ones his crew needed to finish the job.

 

[Truecolors]

It's a nosy question. An answer that she wanted to use medical weed, but her husband forbade it, is an intimate detail that a normal person would not reveal in a rare conversation. IMO

It’s believable to me. If my sister had cancer, and we had a rare chance for a phone call, I’d definitely ask about treatments and symptoms. It would be likely they I’d bring up medical weed, if the symptoms warrant—especially since they are in CO. And if my sister wanted to try it but her husband was strongly against it, she’d say that. Perfectly reasonable to me.

MOO