Found Deceased CO - Suzanne Morphew, 49, did not return from bike ride, Chaffee County, 10 May 2020 #36

[nyvictoria]

I am puzzled how AM would know an intimate detail like SM's non-use of CBD, when it was so hard to communicate. That seems like such a strange question to ask in a brief conversation that is overshadowed by an abusive spouse. In fact, it just doesn't compute for me. IMO

If I were to share my private pain about any situation, I would share it with family and/or my best friend. I know I can count on those people to be supportive no matter what. If Andy didn’t hear it directly from Suzanne, due to an inability to get in touch with her, he may have heard it from her best friend.

 

[Knox]

So I wonder how the bracelet sale is going, hopefully it's raising lots of money for the search Suzanne Morphew bracelets to help fund brother’s searc

 

[Area52]

It's a nosy question. An answer that she wanted to use medical weed, but her husband forbade it, is an intimate detail that a normal person would not reveal in a rare conversation. IMO

I have an older brother who lives out of state. We are not particularly close. I have Crohns disease, and whenever there is a new medication advertised, he gives me a call to see if I have tried it, including CBD and medical marijuana. I don't find it a strange or intimate subject at all.

 

[Puzzles8]

How did Barry do a half hour's worth of work with no tools and no materials? Is he a magician? IMO

IMO, the question then becomes - is there any proof BM did 30 minutes of "work" there?

Sounds like a sizeable repair job if it involved structural issues, what could BM have gotten done in 30 minutes?

Or did he just want to be seen by security cameras in the area?

JMO, MOO

 

[10ofRods]

IMO, the question then becomes - is there any proof BM did 30 minutes of "work" there?

Sounds like a sizeable repair job if it involved structural issues, what could BM have gotten done in 30 minutes?

Or did he just want to be seen by security cameras in the area?

JMO, MOO

I keep trying to imagine that too. What I end up imagining is a retaining wall <modsnip> with weeds and such in May. BM went out and pulled plants away from the wall. Started to, anyway.

The end.

 

[HongKongPhooey]

Intimate if you’re part of some uptight aristocracy maybe. This is something that would definitely come up if it occurred in my family.

Besides that, you’re not so subtly accusing AM of lying. Certainly seems like a bizarre thing for him to just make up.

Yep my dad randomly told me he bought some from a shop in Brighton and is giving it a whirl! If my mum wasnt keen, he'd have told me that too.

(Ofc I googled to check legality but didnt tell HIM that)

 

[NuttMegg]

If I were to share my private pain about any situation, I would share it with family and/or my best friend. I know I can count on those people to be supportive no matter what. If Andy didn’t hear it directly from Suzanne, due to an inability to get in touch with her, he may have heard it from her best friend.

I don't get the controversy. What woman facing possible death from cancer, upon learning that her husband won't let her take remedies to feel better....what woman wouldn't reach out to family and friends for sympathy/help? And, upon learning what the husband was doing to their friend, many people would share that with other family members. When my mother died of cancer and for about 30 years after, ppl just didn't talk about cancer, it was hush hush, something to pretend didn't exist.

Thank goodness for the openness today.

 

[Goldenseal]

<modsnip> Well, here's some information.

Normal women reveal this kind of thing a LOT. And many of them do it on their public (not even private) facebooks! Even more, women actually ask each other pointed questions of this time - and yes, we are normal women who do this.

I am normal, but introverted. Still, with my best friends...OMJeez, are we likely to ask each other questions. And I had a perfectly normal man (who I don't know well at all) call me up and ask if I could procure medical marijuana for his wife.

It would be abnormal for a woman whose doctor had mentioned a treatment (and whose husband opposed that treatment) not to bring it up with sisters, daughters, good friends (we know that Suzanne had at least one good friend - obviously, it's normal to speak to them about such things!)

Seriously, I have women who know me only as a professor email me/tweet me/reach out to me on all kinds of matters that none of us consider "intimate," just, you know, things like depression, cannabis, anti-depressants, domestic violence, birth defects, neurological illnesses, serious illnesses, etc.

Listening only to the opinion of one's husband in a matter like this is abnormal. It's actually a symptom in DSM (Dependent Personality Disorder for one).

It should be really clear that a woman who didn't seek separate, personal advice in such a matter is truly in the orbit of her husband.

We've been using the word "controlling husband," would it help if we simply said "a closed system in which the male member makes decisions typically made by the individuals suffering an illness"? A closed system in which the male member is the decision-maker who from near and far, controls the length of the leash allowed to the other participants.

If the people around Suzanne looked at her as abnormal for trying to form an independent opinion, no wonder she didn't want many friends and carefully confided only in 1-3.

Definitely true 10ofRods! Dave, we love you, but you're off on this one. Women have large webs of other women in whom we discuss, confide, and work out our various problems and worries. There is very little that is too intimate. That's how some of us on here can come recognize 'types' -- like overly controlling husbands -- and match BM to the type. We, our friends, our students or neighbors, have had run-ins with men like that, and it is discussed constantly. I would bet that if SM told one of her female relatives, she would have related it to a man like AM, who was on his way to find his younger sister.

 

[Goldenseal]

What is tbe sq ft.?

I looked it up -- 3311 SF.

 

[Fireflize]

Well, but flip it around and look at this way:

What kind of person finds out their sister has cancer and doesn't even bother to ask any questions about her health, the treatments she's receiving, and/or how her symptoms are being managed?

I don't have a hard time at all believing that SM would have shared that info with her family.

The fact that siblings don't speak often doesn't necessarily mean they're not emotionally close.

JMO.

It’s believable to me. If my sister had cancer, and we had a rare chance for a phone call, I’d definitely ask about treatments and symptoms. It would be likely they I’d bring up medical weed, if the symptoms warrant—especially since they are in CO. And if my sister wanted to try it but her husband was strongly against it, she’d say that. Perfectly reasonable to me.

MOO

I would like to add that from personal experience, that when someone is diagnosed with cancer, it is a scary time for everyone who loves them. Especially when a child or teenager is diagnosed with cancer, it is most often a traumatic experience for the entire family, not just the patient.

Suzanne's family saw what she went through with her first diagnosis, how harsh the treatments were, how terribly she suffered, afraid hat she might not survive.

Of course her brother would have reached out to give her support and let her know he cared. It would have been deja vu for him. All the old fears returning, him hating the thought of her being sick again, with no guarantee beating the disease a second time.

Suzanne may not have confided in her brother about any marital problems, but her cancer fight was different. She would know he would understand because he was there with her the first time.
Moo moo

 

[Boxer]

I looked it up -- 3311 SF.

Thanks.

 

[LietKynes]

I giggled at uptight aristocracy, pictured the question being posed to the Queen Mother by Meghan Markle

I wanted to add- Andy gave a very vivid account of what Suzanne suffered when she received treatment as a teen. Hair & nail loss, ect. Thirty years later he seemed to remember what his sister suffered as if it were yesterday.

IMO, it's not odd at all Andy is asking questions about Suzanne's health in her second bout of cancer.

Exactly.

Also, there could have been hair loss or change of color, even now after she was apparently in remission.
My point is that we were not given a recent photo by her husband and that is very troubling.
No one knows what she looked like in her final months.
A FB photo from 2018-19 doesn't help.
MOO

 

[NuttMegg]

I have a friend who went thru very long treatment for breast cancer. It was no secret, when she began treatment friends threw a surprise party for her and everyone had shaved their heads. Her brother sent her a bunch of crazy wigs just for fun. I can't imagine her husband decreeing that she couldn't take a medicine or pain relief substance just because HE didn't like it. He went to chemo with her and rubbed her feet and those of other women also hooked up to the chemicals.

 

[Boxer]

I looked it up -- 3311 SF.

From a google seach:
Is 3300 square feet a big house?
Yes, 3,4000 square feet would be considered large. A majority of people live in homes from 1500 - 2500 square feet.

 

[Boxer]

MOO a man being gruff and stand-offish when meeting his wife's chemo mates is truly being very rude. Can't muster pleasantries under that condition?

 

[Dave F.]

IMO, the question then becomes - is there any proof BM did 30 minutes of "work" there?

Sounds like a sizeable repair job if it involved structural issues, what could BM have gotten done in 30 minutes?


Or did he just want to be seen by security cameras in the area?

JMO, MOO

You would have to ask MG that question (about the truth of the half-hour of work). She's the one who had made that claim, therefore she is the one who needs to prove it. IMO

 

[DizzyB]

Am I mistaken on this-was it established that AM was referring to Suzanne’s current bout and BM not being on board with CBD? For some reason, I assumed AM was perhaps referring to a time when they were still in Indiana and perhaps CBD was offered to her. Was AM specific that it was since she had moved?

 

[gitana1]

Could it be that BM has ultimately accepted that SM is not coming home, that an animal, whether human or not has taken her and ended her existence?

BM DID search for SM early on. For how long should one search wooded areas and near-vertical terrains and not lose hope if your deeply-ingrained lifelong mindset is based on practicality and acceptance of certain realities?

It is possible that some people don't rely on hope as a motivation, as they believe it is a useless effort that likely leads to more stress and depression.

It's a possibility. I don't necessarily believe that is the case, but it could be.

He may have walked around but I don’t know that he was actually searching for her.

Regardless, no one has reported a thing about such efforts since and I think it would come out had he been searching.

There are other ways to help with a missing loved one- starting search centers (so many families have done this), hosting repeated vigils (also common), having a special church service focused on the missing loved one, printing mass amounts of flyers, participating in interviews and having press conferences, starting foundations, contacting missing persons’ groups for assistance, appearing with police during please for information, paying for billboards, etc.

We haven’t seen any of that. Dude hasn’t done any of the things I’ve seen innocent, anguished families do.

The thought that he is practical and feels like she’s dead and so what’s the point, doesn’t seem like a neurologically typical reaction of family regarding their missing loved one. Unless they’re sociopathic and don’t care that the person is gone. In other words, coincidentally, the missing “loved one” actually isn’t loved.

But that’s the kind of coincidence I don’t believe in. Would be exceedingly rare.

 

[K9Enzo]

Am I mistaken on this-was it established that AM was referring to Suzanne’s current bout and BM not being on board with CBD? For some reason, I assumed AM was perhaps referring to a time when they were still in Indiana and perhaps CBD was offered to her. Was AM specific that it was since she had moved?

IIRC, the first time she had cancer she was a very young adult, maybe 19. The second bout I believe was after they moved to CO. IMO

 

[MassGuy]

You would have to ask MG that question (about the truth of the half-hour of work). She's the one who had made that claim, therefore she is the one who needs to prove it. IMO

She doesn’t need to “prove” anything. It’s law enforcement’s job to verify the veracity of witness statements.