Discussion thread for Jodi Arias Journals

[pocketaccent]

Who's this Sam guy (lived in Tucson) that was interested in Jodi? (May 08)

She found him through LDS Link-up but he had a child from previous relationship. This bothered her, she wrote.

 

[Tiger09]

Dumb question. What does the LoA abbreviation mean?

And when Jodi says "we totally made out " and "went all the way", I'm picturing a 15 year old writing to her friends in class.

 

[Mindmatters]

Thank you, everyone, for your observations on these journals, and thank you Tricia for the dedicated thread.

So interesting to have access to some of Travis' accounts. What he fails to mention about Arias appears to define how unimportant she really was in his overall life.

I have always believed that Arias rewrote at least the part of the 2008 entries leading up to, and beyond, her premeditation. Am I to stand corrected?

After reading all of her journaling, I still believe the journals were doctored. Unlike many others it is my contention that she went back after the fact and added to her journals. There is a clear writing pattern (not to be confused with style of writing) that naturally ebbs and flows (from an unnatural mind) and is evident early on in her journals; this writing pattern has subtle yet clearly detectable changes particularly beginning around October 2007 and on.

The most intriguing facts these journals revealed imo:---I am convinced beyond any doubt that EVERYTHING about her journaling is designed for an audience from her excessive use of superlatives, right down to her "stylized" handwriting.
1) she without question suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder--I see the "depression" everyone is referring to differently and that the symptomology was in fact consistent with 2 criteria of BPD in which there is affective instability with reactivity of mood (which typically last a few hours or rarely up to a few days) where there is intense dysphoria, etc.., and recurrent suicidal ideation and/or threats,
2) she was absolutely spiritually rudderless and seeking a blueprint by which to live a "good and moral" life because she had no real internal compass,
3) she measured her value and self worth in terms of external acceptance and feedback,
4) she found herself utterly powerless is so many aspects of her life that sex and physical attractiveness became her power, and to a lesser extent, her control,
5) she was far too empty, emotionally unstable and impressionable for the bombardment of religious and PPL motivational messaging she was exposing herself to--Darryl got this 100% right,
6) she was clearly obsessed with Travis and wanted to either be saved by him or become him,
7) Mimi was the woman that set JA on the path to vengence but I think it was Travis's desperate belief that he needed to get married and that she was definitely not an option as a wife and just about ANYBODY BUT HER would do-sealed his fate,
8) I am convinced that she decided before she left AZ in April 08 that if she left and he did not not actively pursue her, then if she couldn't have him nobody could--it is very clear to me that her ABRUPT change to acceptance of Mimi was the beginning of her plan to murder him if he continued to reject her.
9) of course her final journal is completely contrived--excuses, planting seeds, creating a self absorbed narrative, and on and on and on.

 

[TexMex]

Dumb question. What does the LoA abbreviation mean?

And when Jodi says "we totally made out " and "went all the way", I'm picturing a 15 year old writing to her friends in class.

Law of Attraction

 

[Shadowboy]

Pages 30-32 talks about Jodis' claims that Travis is questioning her about her relationships with any other guys. It's the same drivel as every other page. A whole lot of poor me, poor Travis, oh my. Nothing, really nothing new at all

Anything interesting on Pg 29 or prior? (BTW: What dates are we talkin'?)

TIA

 

[Amster]

I think these journals are just as fake as JA herself and her defense team...total frauds

 

[Katharine]

After reading all of her journaling, I still believe the journals were doctored. Unlike many others it is my contention that she went back after the fact and added to her journals. There is a clear writing pattern (not to be confused with style of writing) that naturally ebbs and flows (from an unnatural mind) and is evident early on in her journals; this writing pattern has subtle yet clearly detectable changes particularly beginning around October 2007 and on.

The most intriguing facts these journals revealed imo:---I am convinced beyond any doubt that EVERYTHING about her journaling is designed for an audience from her excessive use of superlatives, right down to her "stylized" handwriting.
1) she without question suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder--I see the "depression" everyone is referring to differently and that the symptomology was in fact consistent with 2 criteria of BPD in which there is affective instability with reactivity of mood (which typically last a few hours or rarely up to a few days) where there is intense dysphoria, etc.., and recurrent suicidal ideation and/or threats,
2) she was absolutely spiritually rudderless and seeking a blueprint by which to live a "good and moral" life because she had no real internal compass,
3) she measured her value and self worth in terms of external acceptance and feedback,
4) she found herself utterly powerless is so many aspects of her life that sex and physical attractiveness became her power, and to a lesser extent, her control,
5) she was far too empty, emotionally unstable and impressionable for the bombardment of religious and PPL motivational messaging she was exposing herself to--Darryl got this 100% right,
6) she was clearly obsessed with Travis and wanted to either be saved by him or become him,
7) Mimi was the woman that set JA on the path to vengence but I think it was Travis's desperate belief that he needed to get married and that she was definitely not an option as a wife and just about ANYBODY BUT HER would do-sealed his fate,
8) I am convinced that she decided before she left AZ in April 08 that if she left and he did not not actively pursue her, then if she couldn't have him nobody could--it is very clear to me that her ABRUPT change to acceptance of Mimi was the beginning of her plan to murder him if he continued to reject her.
9) of course her final journal is completely contrived--excuses, planting seeds, creating a self absorbed narrative, and on and on and on.

Wow, simply wow!! I wish I had your gift of words to adequately describe what I felt and thought when I read what you had written. I was hoping that someone out there would give us perceptions and analysis from the Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis based only as observed in her journal writing.

For me, I am left wondering why the manifestations of her psychological make up took so long to appear if this makes any sense. What happened during the Bobby, Matt, and Darryl phases? Or is it because as someone else noted, Jodi was struggling to keep these emotions at bay? Darryl may have been older but perhaps he out of the 4 due to personal experience and gained maturity was able to keep her "in check" or "handle her" so to speak. Darryl may have "known" her extreme limitations and her obvious profound lack of maturity for her age. This illogical immaturity could be one of the several reasons he preferred that his own son not be alone with her.

Or would there have been a future point in time where this type of rage would have appeared even with Darryl? In other words, was Jodi a ticking time bomb that eventually would explode no matter who that person might be? Yet it appears that everything had to be in a certain alignment in her particular situation or am I not understanding this psychopathy as it relates to her?

I so agree with all 9 points that you have shared. You summarized completely and succinctly who Jodi was (and still is). I do appreciate that we all are allowed this forum to express our opinions or how we feel. The discussions assist me in the "figuring out" process of what is so baffling to "normal" minds. And we will still be left with so many mysteries to this case that will never be solved. Thank you!!! (IMO)

 

[Mindmatters]

Wow, simply wow!! I wish I had your gift of words to adequately describe what I felt and thought when I read what you had written. I was hoping that someone out there would give us perceptions and analysis from the Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis based only as observed in her journal writing.

For me, I am left wondering why the manifestations of her psychological make up took so long to appear if this makes any sense. What happened during the Bobby, Matt, and Darryl phases? Or is it because as someone else noted, Jodi was struggling to keep these emotions at bay? Darryl may have been older but perhaps he out of the 4 due to personal experience and gained maturity was able to keep her "in check" or "handle her" so to speak. Darryl may have "known" her extreme limitations and her obvious profound lack of maturity for her age. This illogical immaturity could be one of the several reasons he preferred that his own son not be alone with her.

Or would there have been a future point in time where this type of rage would have appeared even with Darryl? In other words, was Jodi a ticking time bomb that eventually would explode no matter who that person might be? Yet it appears that everything had to be in a certain alignment in her particular situation or am I not understanding this psychopathy as it relates to her?

I so agree with all 9 points that you have shared. You summarized completely and succinctly who Jodi was (and still is). I do appreciate that we all are allowed this forum to express our opinions or how we feel. The discussions assist me in the "figuring out" process of what is so baffling to "normal" minds. And we will still be left with so many mysteries to this case that will never be solved. Thank you!!! (IMO)

Thanks Katherine. The complexities of BPD make it difficult to provide a simple answer to your question. There are many variables that come into play with BPD, for instance, BPD often co-occurs with other personality disorders. Many WS'ers have long speculated that JA has NPD and/or even APD as well as BPD, which may be true. It is my estimation, based on the available documentation, behavioral observations during the trial and the "other" elevated scales on the MMPI II that DeMarte administered but the DT did not allow her to testify about, is that JA has traits consistent with NPD (possibly even the full disorder) not APD. But honestly, if JA had met the criteria for a diagnosis of NPD you can bet your bottom dollar that it would have come out when the BPD diagnosis did. It is my contention that JA was significantly elevated (notwithstanding the shared criteria of PD's in general) on NPD traits but did not meet the threshold for full diagnosis of the disorder. Another factor that will increase expression of BPD symptomology is stressors--environmental, physical and psychological.

This is how I think it went, JA likes and eventually falls in love with Travis and without provocation begins to nurture hopes of marrying him. Travis on the other hand is very attracted to and cares about JA but never falls in love with her. He does however fall in love with the sex--for a multitude of reasons. It looks to me from the available information that she was neither encouraged nor strung along with promises on Travis' part. She realizes that Travis is addicted to the sexual aspects of their relationship, and makes the decision that she will do whatever he wants sexually to gain his love. I do believe that Jodi introduced and encouraged anal and oral sex with Travis and I further believe that she didn't really like the anal, and maybe even the oral, sex she just did it as a means to an end, i.e., marriage to a successful, attractive, and well respected man of the church that she had fallen in love with. In the meantime JA, this person who has no sense of self worth and feels fundamentally flawed, is learning in LDS religion it is "sinful" or "wrong" to engage in sexual relations OF ANY KIND. Yet she continues to pursue Travis through the use of sex--this is a voluntary, calculated manipulation on her part. Problem is Travis will absolutely take the sex but begins the process of seeing and dating others. Then all of the sudden serious contenders for his love come along.

First comes Lisa, JA tries to shame Lisa into staying away from Travis with the whoredom letter, slashing tires, and maybe even making sure Lisa finds out that Travis is having sex with her and it works. But Travis still wants to date others for a potential wife and begins an interest in Mimi. JA realizes that Travis will take her anal and oral offerings but will not marry her and is still pursuing others for marriage. I think this is when the hallmark rage of BPD begins to slowly burn--how dare he treat me like a sexual plaything but not be willing to marry me. I contend that her move back to CA, aside from Travis' insistence, was in part because she began to feel the rage to such an extent that she couldn't hide it. So moving served two purposes,1) to keep her growing rage hidden, and 2) to see if he would pursue her when she left. She was giving him another chance but once again he showed that he would take her phone sex offerings but not "follow" her and the full rage set in. In my estimation she made the secret phone sex recording and attempted to blackmail him which resulted in the "you're the worst thing that ever happened to me" email/text. When this attempt failed, her plan, which probably started to loosely form several weeks before, began to take definite shape.

So ultimately I suspect no matter who it was-- it was the perceived rejection and fear of abandonment, the perceived shame that she had been used, the humiliation of returning home a failure, having to live with her family again, and other factors that escalated her rage and the emotional instability (it is always there it is just to what degree it is expressed) which led her to make the decision she did. To her everything was his fault, and he was going to pay for what he did. And honestly, anyone who she PERCEIVES as wronging her will be a target for her rage. Juan is a very good example of this--it is my belief that if she were not locked up he would very much be in danger. Just as I think there is a potential for her to harm her parents should they do something that she feels is wronging her.

 

[Tssiemer]

I was thinking more Histrionic Personality Disorder. It's in the same cluster as BPD and NPD. But I'm just a mental health therapist/social worker. I can't make unsupervised diagnosis lol.
http://www.sevencounties.org/poc/view_doc.php?id=564




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[RickshawFan]

January the twenty fourth;

He`s so hard to say no to. We totally made out afterward. But he was so sweet and kind and attentive the entire rest of the night. It was a long drive back from Las Vegas. Travis was being extremely impatient, but eventually he got over it. So I raced home, freshened up, and headed over there with tootsy pops. He makes me want to be so naughty. And naughty we were. We went all the way again. It was different this time. He was different. He was tender and sweet and loving. He said he had been planning and hoping for this. He said he wanted to savor the moment and make it last as long as possible. He asked me if I felt guilty and I said yes. Then he told me he wanted this because he wanted us to always have something special. Perhaps it was like closure for both of us.

Something about this passage suggests to me that JA and TA didn't have sex very often. It sounds like this was the first time they had vaginal intercourse (if they even had it then)? And may be from his point of view it was going to be the one and only? Thus the "closure" word? I really don't think there was a helluva a lot of even a sexual relationship going on.

 

[Tiger09]

I always wonder why people think sex is a weapon. Where is that learned? Has she always been like this? I'm leaning toward yes.

 

[TexMex]

I always wonder why people think sex is a weapon. Where is that learned? Has she always been like this? I'm leaning toward yes.

Sex was as much of a weapon in this case as the knife and gun.

 

[ElleElle]

Wow, simply wow!! I wish I had your gift of words to adequately describe what I felt and thought when I read what you had written. I was hoping that someone out there would give us perceptions and analysis from the Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis based only as observed in her journal writing.

For me, I am left wondering why the manifestations of her psychological make up took so long to appear if this makes any sense. What happened during the Bobby, Matt, and Darryl phases? Or is it because as someone else noted, Jodi was struggling to keep these emotions at bay? Darryl may have been older but perhaps he out of the 4 due to personal experience and gained maturity was able to keep her "in check" or "handle her" so to speak. Darryl may have "known" her extreme limitations and her obvious profound lack of maturity for her age. This illogical immaturity could be one of the several reasons he preferred that his own son not be alone with her.

Or would there have been a future point in time where this type of rage would have appeared even with Darryl? In other words, was Jodi a ticking time bomb that eventually would explode no matter who that person might be? Yet it appears that everything had to be in a certain alignment in her particular situation or am I not understanding this psychopathy as it relates to her?

I so agree with all 9 points that you have shared. You summarized completely and succinctly who Jodi was (and still is). I do appreciate that we all are allowed this forum to express our opinions or how we feel. The discussions assist me in the "figuring out" process of what is so baffling to "normal" minds. And we will still be left with so many mysteries to this case that will never be solved. Thank you!!! (IMO)

I did not know Daryl would not allow his son alone with Jodi. :waitasec:

 

[Ricki]

I did not know Daryl would not allow his son alone with Jodi. :waitasec:

I didn't know that either. Was that mentioned in an interview with him? Would love to know the reason behind that.

 

[TexMex]

Interview with DB



Interviewer:
Let's start with why you're here today. What is it that you wanted to say in that court room today that you didn't get the chance to say
Darryl Brewer:
Well, I needed to tell the jury that there was a whole nother life to Jodi Ann Arias. A life where she was cherished and responsible and respected and loving and caring and I just don't feel that that's gotten across
Interviewer:
What would you have said to them?
Darryl Brewer:
Well, I would have said to them that I knew a girl who was mature beyond her years, that was an excellent worker, a good friend, a good caregiver, a good caretaker. I trusted Jodi with my most prized...I don't want to use the word possession ... I trusted her with my son, the most important thing in my life. And I had no reason to ever doubt or ever to fear for his safety when he was with Jodi
Interviewer:
But how did you reconcile that with what she has done?
Darryl Brewer:
I watched Jodi from the time that I first met her, I watched her mature and I watched her grow in the workplace, grow as an artist, and it wasn't until the spring of 2006 that this girl started to change. And I watched her change before my very eyes.
Interviewer:
What do you think happened?
Darryl Brewer:
It was right at the time that she was getting involved with the Prepaid Legal Programm and the Mormon Church and she started to have a lack of responsibility, which is something I'd never known her to have. She started talking in magical thinking we call it. Very positive thinging of one good attrack good to you. She watched the movie "The Secret" and she came away from that thinking that just positive intention and good will that she could attract to herself and to her life everything that she ever wanted, finnantially, materially
Interviewer:
Do you think you could have changed the jury's mind if you had been allowed to speak today?
Darryl Brewer:
I've no idea if I could change their mind. I'm thankful that I'm no on that jury.
Interviewer:
How desperate are you for them to know this other side of Jodi?
Darryl Brewer:
It's important that they know, and it's important that this change happened within Jodi within a year and a half from the time that I left her and from the time that she was accused of this crime.
Interviewer:
Do you feel like something happened to her to change her, that this was a completely different woman than the woman you knew?
Darryl Brewer:
I saw that change, she's unrecognizable to me now, as to the Jodi she used to be. She never talked like that, she never lied and had that disrespect. She was not manipulative. She was not evil.
Interviewer:
What was your relationship like when you were together, what were the things you did together, what were the things you would tell the jury that would give an impression of the person she was?
Darryl Brewer:
When Jodi first started working with us at Ventana, I was not attracted to her per-se, other than she was an excellent outstanding employee. Over the years we started to get a little closer and then I started to slowly introduce her to my son. She was loving and kind, she was like an auntie to my son. Jodi and I got closer and then when the time came to leave the area to follow my son and his mother we decided to move together and we found ourselves in Palm Desert where we could afford a house. And we couldn't afford a house where we lived before in Monterey.
Interviewer:
And you were very close and you describe her as being loving?
Darryl Brewer:
She was very loving, our relationship was monogamous, she was sensitive and caring, she was wonderful with my son, she was good with her friends, that were in the Big Sur and Monterey community. We did many activities together: we hiked, we went fishing, we went camping. She would go with some of the people that worked at Ventana every week to go bowling. She had lots of great relationships and she's very fondly thought of by the local community where I come from.
Interviewer:
And where are those people, why were they not here today to talk?
Darryl Brewer:
Those people were all right where they were before, and I don't think there was enough of an effort to reach out and find them, to get them to come forward. Some have volunteered to come forward and have not been engaged.
Interviewer:
What broke you up, the two of you?
Darryl Brewer:
The two of us? I was very close to asking Jodi to marry me, I wanted to have a child with Jodi. And I would have married her. I just couldn't do it because I already had a son, and I only have so many hours in a week. And I knew that if I got married again, and had another child, that it would take away from the very limited time that I had with my son. And I just couldn't live with that.
Interviewer:
And so she broke up with you because of that, she wanted marriage?
Darryl Brewer:
She wanted marriage only after devoting herself to the Mormon church. Before that we had maybe touched on marriage once or twice. She new that I wasn't ready to get remarried again, and that wasn't an issue between us. After studying the Mormon church and preparing to be baptized, she told me that she no longer wanted to be intimate. That she felt she was living in sin. And that she felt she wanted to save herself for a mormon husband.
Interviewer:
You just told me that the Jodi you see now is unrecognizable to you. Is that the Jodi that should be spared?
Darryl Brewer:
I believe that Jodi is still there, Jodi needs help. I don't know what happened to her. From the time that I left our desert home, in Palm Desert in December of 2006, we had very little correspondence. She was unable to pay her bills for the last several months, so I was carrying that entire load. This was unlike the girl I had known for these previous years: very hard-working, very responsible. She had worked two jobs, incredibly. And had over $12,000 in the bank when we put down payments down on this home. She wasn't taking me for a ride because I didn't have any money.
Interviewer:
So when the jury hears all this, how Jodi changed into this different person who then went on to kill Travis, how is it that you think your testimony of who she used to be was going to help her?
Darryl Brewer:
The jury needs to know that she didn't go from one abusive relationship to another. Our relationship was not abusive. Emotionaly, physically, sexually - none of that. And I don't know what happened to her in that last year and a half. But something changed radically. I watched the change before my very eyes, as she got more and more irresponsbile, as she talked more and more magically about the riches that she would get through working with Prepaid Legal Program. And then she was unable to pay her bills and when I asked her for the money she'd tell me not to talk negative to her, that we had to keep things positive.
Interviewer:
Do you pity Jodi? Do you feel sorry for her? Do you think she deserves to live?
Darryl Brewer:
I think Jodi needs some help. I think that if Jodi got some help, I think the old Jodi is still inside of her. And I think she could be a productive member to society, even from behind bars. She needs help.
Interviewer:
Which was the Jodi that you saw in when she came to visit you in Monterey before she went to Mesa?
Darryl Brewer:
That morning she came and visited my son and I at my home, she had breakfast with us. She seemed normal. She seemed happy. She checked her Email, she borrowed the gas cans from me, which was not that far out of our realm - we took camping trips and went off in the desert before and took gas and other supplies with us. So I didn't question it.
Interviewer:
So she seemed perfectly normal that day?
Darryl Brewer:
She seemed perfectly normal to me, she left on an upbeat happy note.
Interviewer:
Did you think, now in retrospect, do you think that borrowing of the gas cans was sinister?
Darryl Brewer:
I have no idea. I didn't detect anything sinister, and I had no previous history of Jodi ever being sinister, manipulative or dishonest. So I thought nothing of it.
Interviewer:
When you were in court today, and they dismissed everyone and said there would be no mitigating testimony, were you shocked?
Darryl Brewer:
I actually never made it into the courtroom today. I was stalled and then learned of the fact there would be no testimony later in the day. I was shocked. I was here on Thursday, ready to testify. At great cost to myself, as far as my work environment and missing time and not knowing when my role in the trial would happen. And I was shocked on Thirsday that the afternoon was wasted with antics and I ended up having to fly home and return for today.
Interviewer:
So if there was a wiggle maneuvering reason for doing this, to try and spare Jodi's life, would you be OK with the fact that you didn't get to testify then?
Darryl Brewer:
I would be OK with that, I'm not a legal expert and I don't know the maneuvers or what antics are being played or strategies are being worked at this point.
Interviewer:
This is the first time that you've come forward publicly and shown your face and talked about Jodi Arias. Why?
Darryl Brewer:
My fear in my first testimony was that someone would recognize my face on the news and it would get back to my middle school fourteen-year-old son. And I wanted to do all I could, I wanted to be subpoenaed to the case, I didn't have a choice to come and they granted not filming my face.
Interviewer:
But today you felt strongly enought to go ahead and show your face?
Darryl Brewer:
Today, after all the harrassment, and the accussations in the media, in the internet world, in my workplace, in my hometown, I decided that there's nothing that I'm hiding from. And that I did need to show my face and let everyone know that I was real. I did not know Travis, until after hearing of the murder. I did not know that Jodi was going to Mesa Arizona. I did not know any of her plans. And it's been suggested anything from me being sympathetic to her plans, to being an accomplice with her plans and none of that is true.
Interviewer:
Do you think that she's gotten a fair trial?
Darryl Brewer:
I do not think that she's gotten a fair trial, I think the trial has been polluted from the start. Partly because she spoke to the media before ever leaving Yreka, CA. However I've got strong opinions on the way that the County of Maricopa has proceeded, I think that the appeal process will be telling.
Interviewer:
Do you still care for Jodi Arias?
Darryl Brewer:
I care very much for Jodi Arias. It's been said that I'm still in love with Jodi Arias and that's why I'm here. I'm not still in love with Jodi Arias. But I have love for her and I hold it dear to my heart. True love never dies, we all know that. I love my son's mother, although I'm not in love with her anymore.
Interviewer:
Do you blame yourself at all for the break-up and how her life spiralled out of control?
Darryl Brewer:
I think I have some guilt, possibly misplaced, that she was in the desert and living with me and left that situation. and of course I had to leave the situation and come back to the Monterey area to be with my son. So I feel a little guilty about it, but at the same time Jodi's an adult and she was a very responsible, conscientious adult. And so I can't feel too much guilt there.
Interviewer:
But in terms of how can you defend this monster, have you heard critisizm for that? Or been harrassed for that?
Darryl Brewer:
I have heard those comments and the fact is is that noone can condone this heinous crime. I can't condone it and I don't know how it's been the biggest shock of my life. My family, all knew Jodi. Jodi interacted with my family. In essence she was a member of my family.
Interviewer:
And yet you don't think she should die for that?
Darryl Brewer:
I don't belive in state killing, I don't believe that two wrongs make a right, Jodi needs help, she should not be let back out into society. I believe that, I don't know, it's not up to me to give her a punishment.

 

[ShadyLady]

I find it odd how Darryl Brewer could say on the stand that he did know Jodi was going to Mesa, then later changed his tune. And I thought he was concerned about leaving his son alone with her.

And I remember some co-worker saying Jodi took advantage of the fact she was with the boss. I remember a hole getting kicked in a wall just because she wanted a change in schedule. I don't believe a word Darryl says. One minute he almost proposes to Jodi and wants a child, next second he doesn't.

 

[Love Never Fails]

After reading all of her journaling, I still believe the journals were doctored. Unlike many others it is my contention that she went back after the fact and added to her journals. There is a clear writing pattern (not to be confused with style of writing) that naturally ebbs and flows (from an unnatural mind) and is evident early on in her journals; this writing pattern has subtle yet clearly detectable changes particularly beginning around October 2007 and on.

The most intriguing facts these journals revealed imo:---I am convinced beyond any doubt that EVERYTHING about her journaling is designed for an audience from her excessive use of superlatives, right down to her "stylized" handwriting.
1) she without question suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder--I see the "depression" everyone is referring to differently and that the symptomology was in fact consistent with 2 criteria of BPD in which there is affective instability with reactivity of mood (which typically last a few hours or rarely up to a few days) where there is intense dysphoria, etc.., and recurrent suicidal ideation and/or threats,
2) she was absolutely spiritually rudderless and seeking a blueprint by which to live a "good and moral" life because she had no real internal compass,
3) she measured her value and self worth in terms of external acceptance and feedback,
4) she found herself utterly powerless is so many aspects of her life that sex and physical attractiveness became her power, and to a lesser extent, her control,
5) she was far too empty, emotionally unstable and impressionable for the bombardment of religious and PPL motivational messaging she was exposing herself to--Darryl got this 100% right,
6) she was clearly obsessed with Travis and wanted to either be saved by him or become him,
7) Mimi was the woman that set JA on the path to vengence but I think it was Travis's desperate belief that he needed to get married and that she was definitely not an option as a wife and just about ANYBODY BUT HER would do-sealed his fate,
8) I am convinced that she decided before she left AZ in April 08 that if she left and he did not not actively pursue her, then if she couldn't have him nobody could--it is very clear to me that her ABRUPT change to acceptance of Mimi was the beginning of her plan to murder him if he continued to reject her.
9) of course her final journal is completely contrived--excuses, planting seeds, creating a self absorbed narrative, and on and on and on.

Of course her journals were written for an audience. Her whole life is about having an audience, her many interviews, her control from her jail cell, twittering, etc. and through it all absolutely NO REMORSE.

 

[Love Never Fails]

I find it odd how Darryl Brewer could say on the stand that he did know Jodi was going to Mesa, then later changed his tune. And I thought he was concerned about leaving his son alone with her.

And I remember some co-worker saying Jodi took advantage of the fact she was with the boss. I remember a hole getting kicked in a wall just because she wanted a change in schedule. I don't believe a word Darryl says. One minute he almost proposes to Jodi and wants a child, next second he doesn't.

I agree with you.

 

[ShadyLady]

I agree with you.

Oh....and let us not forget, he probably took a stolen DVD player from Jodi.

I wonder how many other waitresses that worked under him, he bumped with.

 

[Nali87]

Nurmi went with the wrong defense in the original trial. Even though there was no way to get out of premeditated murder, if he had left out the pedophile crap and focused on Jodi's mental problems and Travis' "abuse", I think she would have gotten "life". She will probably get "life" again. Her disorder explains some of her behavior, too bad there's nothing to explain away her aunt and supporters' wickedness.