You know, I just don't understand people. My grandma has Alzh. we take care of her. It is no picnic. While she doesn't run off on us, she does have many other issues including incontinence. For those who have only cared for diapered infants, diapered adults are a whole nother ball of wax. It is far from pleasant to wash sheets, clothing, etc daily. It is far from pleasant to bathe her and clean the floor several times a day in the bathroom. But I cannot imagine not having linens on her bed. I even redid her room with some really expensive bedding because that is what SHE picked out. And we should all have whatever happiness we can find in life.
I cannot imagine not giving a child cute linens or at least some linens. I could not rest my head on a pillow unless everyone in our home could do the same. I could not cover my weary bones at night unless we all could. Having to wash them or whatever excuse they come up with, is just that. I don't care if we have to wash several times a day, she will have all the bedding and linens we have.
As for behavioral problems, I have been hit by my grandma. I have the sense to know if she was in her right mind, she would not do that. I do not chain her to the bed. I do not strike back. I move on. Bad days, good days, you get them both. But it does not give you the right to chain a human being up like an animal.
Sometimes, you cannot care for someone. Not everyone can handle the stress. And sometimes even though you can care for someone, you are stressed. But you still must treat that person with respect and dignity. If you have to pay out of your own pocket for a day of help to take a break and refresh, you do it. If you find that it is too much for you, you beg for help. If you have begged for help and done everything humanly possible to get your loved one into a safe environment where they can be cared for, and this was a last resort, I could almost understand it. But they were warned and offered help. That is more than we have received. We have had one 24 hour period away from her in 7 years. And that was for surgery for me.
Yes, it is true that many families who want help do not get it. We didn't. But we know our limitations and realize that one day we might have to put her into full time care. We would not harm her. We would admit we cannot do it. Why didn't they?