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- Nov 21, 2022
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I agree. My point in bringing up the age/drop off time, etc. is to try and determine what may be atypical. I certainly don't know what's typical for NG - but based on the information shared about her (mobility issues, daily medications to survive - which, in all likelihood need to be taken a certain times which means she probably has some sort of "normal" schedule) it is entirely reasonable to think she may be in bed earlier than someone her age who doesn't have such limitations.Respectfully, an 84 year old woman who has been said cannot ambulate further than ETA: 50yds with a cane, and who has been said to need daily medication for survival would indeed be considered frail, in the plain sense of the word. She is on blood thinners and has bandages, bruises and wounds in several photos. Have you listened to her speaking in the cactus margarita scene with SG? There is an element of frailty there. And I don't mean that disrespectfully. Many 84 year olds would not be considered frail. I would consider my 93 year old grandmother frail and very comparable in the physical condition of NG.
From my own life, my grandfather was completely independent in terms of driving, being out late with my grandmother, etc. (which we loved for him) until his early 90s when he had a fall in the home. He was never the same after - not just physically but also mentally. My grandmother is younger than him but took a very quick turn with mobility as well recently. I think what people without this life experience don't realize is that an elderly person can be fine until they're not. There can be a huge difference between a 70 year old and an 85 year old. Or an 84 year old with mobility issues versus a 90 year old who does not have that. It's not agism or an an attack on autonomy or criticism/judgement of an older person with DIFFERENT circumstances. In our family, the grandparents WANT our help now. Preventing another fall is crucial for them to not have to move to assisted living.
My point in saying it was odd the SIL apparently "dropped her off" that late is that I imagine that a caring family member would have made sure she was settled in, likely earlier, given her limitations. Of course, her circumstances could be completely different and maybe she doesn't need the help. However, this was the NIGHT that she went missing. So analyzing the time, her schedule, the conditions, are RELEVANT. I'm not sure what else we have to go on, in any case, other than what is already being discussed in this forum.
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