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- May 2, 2012
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I process by writing....thought I'd share some reflections as I feel like so many of us have been connected over the last few weeks 
I know we've all been wanting answers since Nancy first went missing, but now I have this feeling of dread finding out the answers. Like putting a face to the crime is somehow more confronting than not knowing. Of course I want whomever did this caught and punished and the family to have some sense of peace and healing and hopefully Nancy home, but its the cold hard reality that can't be avoided to achieve this that I don't want.
It's like we know there is what some would call 'evil' or their own term for people who do these horrible things, but once there is a fairly everyday looking face that goes along with it, it somehow makes it even more confronting.
The bad guy wearing a mask in a horror movie, listening to a true crime podcast....there's some sense of separation from these even though they bring a level of discomfort, sometimes fear. But we can relish in curiosity from an arm's distance and a misguided sense of it not directly impacting us. Feeling like when we lock ourselves in our homes at night, all is well.
But there's a very deep and extraordinarily unsettling feeling that arises seeing those images of the man at Nancy's door, masked and armed, knowing he was, as far as we know, about to breach Nancy's safe haven. Whether or not someone else was already in there or went in after, just knowing Nancy came into contact with this masked figure is gut-wrenchingly hard to reflect on. I don't know about you, but I've had these flashes of thoughts imagining what if it was my dearly departed Mum or Nan or Grandma facing this in the middle of the night, alone.
If things are going the way we suspect, we may very well soon be able to pull off the mask and see the face underneath, but I don't think I really want to see the face underneath. It's likely someone we could walk past in the street and not suspect for a minute they could be capable of such horrible acts, of which we aren't even aware of yet.
I have become more conscious of my home security in the last few weeks, and I think Nancy's disappearance will leave a long-lasting effect on me and probably many others. I have no doubt there have been purchases around the world of Nests and Ring cameras, extra lights and security, which will one day probably save lives that we will never hear about or know about. That's because of Nancy. It will be one of her many legacies, regardless of whether she makes it home safely (I still HOPE) or not.
And I hope for those lucky enough to still have their elderly family members and friends, give them extra hugs and kisses x
I know we've all been wanting answers since Nancy first went missing, but now I have this feeling of dread finding out the answers. Like putting a face to the crime is somehow more confronting than not knowing. Of course I want whomever did this caught and punished and the family to have some sense of peace and healing and hopefully Nancy home, but its the cold hard reality that can't be avoided to achieve this that I don't want.
It's like we know there is what some would call 'evil' or their own term for people who do these horrible things, but once there is a fairly everyday looking face that goes along with it, it somehow makes it even more confronting.
The bad guy wearing a mask in a horror movie, listening to a true crime podcast....there's some sense of separation from these even though they bring a level of discomfort, sometimes fear. But we can relish in curiosity from an arm's distance and a misguided sense of it not directly impacting us. Feeling like when we lock ourselves in our homes at night, all is well.
But there's a very deep and extraordinarily unsettling feeling that arises seeing those images of the man at Nancy's door, masked and armed, knowing he was, as far as we know, about to breach Nancy's safe haven. Whether or not someone else was already in there or went in after, just knowing Nancy came into contact with this masked figure is gut-wrenchingly hard to reflect on. I don't know about you, but I've had these flashes of thoughts imagining what if it was my dearly departed Mum or Nan or Grandma facing this in the middle of the night, alone.
If things are going the way we suspect, we may very well soon be able to pull off the mask and see the face underneath, but I don't think I really want to see the face underneath. It's likely someone we could walk past in the street and not suspect for a minute they could be capable of such horrible acts, of which we aren't even aware of yet.
I have become more conscious of my home security in the last few weeks, and I think Nancy's disappearance will leave a long-lasting effect on me and probably many others. I have no doubt there have been purchases around the world of Nests and Ring cameras, extra lights and security, which will one day probably save lives that we will never hear about or know about. That's because of Nancy. It will be one of her many legacies, regardless of whether she makes it home safely (I still HOPE) or not.
And I hope for those lucky enough to still have their elderly family members and friends, give them extra hugs and kisses x
