Should Jaycee's Bio Dad Be Allowed to Have a DNA Testing Done?

[Openmind]

The only reason for doing something like this in public is that it can't be done in private. I know you think that Slayton has lost his marbles and done something completely irrational instead of the obvious thing. you honestly think that GA would be involved if he was just some crazy dude? I'm sure she has better things to do with her time.

Actually, considering GA willingness to involve herself in high profile cases, I don't doubt she was willing to take this case.

This forum is not an echo chamber that allows only one idea or opinion. If you want to beleive this man and have the utmost faith in his good intentions, that is aboslutley your right, but because I question his timing and methods does not mean I can't expres my opinions. I do wonder how you know he couldn't contact the family through a private mediator? If you know for a fact Slayton tried to contact the family and was turned away, please share that information, but if this is just your assumption, I simply do not share your opinion.

Certainly, a lawyer with Allred's connections could get a private message to Jaycee, but the news conference was an easier and showier way to get out their message.

 

[Tizzle]

Actually, considering GA willingness to involve herself in high profile cases, I don't doubt she was willing to take this case.

Just because I don't see things the same as you does not mean my opioions are narrow or partisan. This forum is not an echo chamber that allows only one idea or opinion. If you want to beleive this man and have the utmost faith in his good intentions, that is aboslutley your right, but because I question his timing and methods does not mean I can't expres my opinions. I do wonder how you know he couldn't contact the family through a private mediator? If you know for a fact Slayton tried to contact the family and was turned away, please share that information, but if this is just your assumption, I simply do not share your opinion.

Certainly, a lawyer with Allred's connections could get a private message to Jaycee, but the news conference was an easier and showier way to get out their message.

BBM
It is stated in the Kennedy and Suits interview that Mr. Slayton and Glo have attempted to contact Jaycee through her representatives but were unsuccessful in their attempts. Even Glo can't take down the Berlin Wall, which is probably much like what Jaycee is surrounded by.

Also, kbl brings up the money point again....Yes Glo is making money on this because Mr. Slayton retained her services. Meaning he will continue to pay her until either a) he has accomplished a satisfactory resolution, or b) he fires her. If you think he's in this for money you have to consider that he likely is already financially stable. Glo's not cheap, by any means. I doubt some lowlife just grubbing for money from a victim of a crime would be able to afford Ms. Allred's services....

 

[kbl8201]

BBM
It is stated in the Kennedy and Suits interview that Mr. Slayton and Glo have attempted to contact Jaycee through her representatives but were unsuccessful in their attempts. Even Glo can't take down the Berlin Wall, which is probably much like what Jaycee is surrounded by.

Also, kbl brings up the money point again....Yes Glo is making money on this because Mr. Slayton retained her services. Meaning he will continue to pay her until either a) he has accomplished a satisfactory resolution, or b) he fires her. If you think he's in this for money you have to consider that he likely is already financially stable. Glo's not cheap, by any means. I doubt some lowlife just grubbing for money from a victim of a crime would be able to afford Ms. Allred's services....

tizzle so what exactly is the satisfactor resolution you speak of?

 

[Openmind]

BBM
It is stated in the Kennedy and Suits interview that Mr. Slayton and Glo have attempted to contact Jaycee through her representatives but were unsuccessful in their attempts. Even Glo can't take down the Berlin Wall, which is probably much like what Jaycee is surrounded by.

Also, kbl brings up the money point again....Yes Glo is making money on this because Mr. Slayton retained her services. Meaning he will continue to pay her until either a) he has accomplished a satisfactory resolution, or b) he fires her. If you think he's in this for money you have to consider that he likely is already financially stable. Glo's not cheap, by any means. I doubt some lowlife just grubbing for money from a victim of a crime would be able to afford Ms. Allred's services....

Thanks for the information.

My objection to his contact is I think this is much too soon and much too demanding. Again, my opinion. If this was my child, I would have a Berlin Wall around her, as well. If my daughter was stolen from me, I would do everything I could to protect her from anything or anyone I think might inhibit her recovery. If that makes people angry, too bad. This is not about anyone but Jaycee and the girls. Truthfully, Terry doesn't know Ken, and he doesn't know her, so why should she open her home and risk their privacy and sheltered environment to a virtual stranger. They own nothing to anyone -- even Ken.

I listened to the radio program. I heard a lot of excuses and accusations that prevented him from seeing his child, a rather lame attempt to find her, an "out of sight, out of mind," and then the idea he must now be an immediate part of her life.

Just a thought, how does Ken know there are no positive male role models in Jaycee's life?

As for Allred's fee, we really don't know what she is charging if anything.

 

[kbl8201]

Thanks for the information.

My objection to his contact is I think this is much too soon and much too demanding. Again, my opinion. If this was my child, I would have a Berlin Wall around her, as well. If my daughter was stolen from me, I would do everything I could to protect her from anything or anyone I think might inhibit her recovery. If that makes people angry, too bad. This is not about anyone but Jaycee and the girls. Truthfully, Terry doesn't know Ken, and he doesn't know her, so why should she open her home and risk their privacy and sheltered environment to a virtual stranger. They own nothing to anyone -- even Ken.

I listened to the radio program. I heard a lot of excuses and accusations that prevented him from seeing his child, a rather lame attempt to find her, an "out of sight, out of mind," and then the idea he must now be an immediate part of her life.

Just a thought, how does Ken know there are no positive male role models in Jaycee's life?

As for Allred's fee, we really don't know what she is charging if anything.

reading that people magazine article from 1991 it would appear carl was her positive male role model at the time she was kidnapped. they had really started to bond well in the previous year. right now i dont know what that situation is. i only hope its better then this one.

 

[JBean]

Next person to attack another member gets a TO. no warnings.

remember if there is a violation or attack click the red triangle in the upper right corner of the offending post. Otherwise we probably won't even know it is there.

 

[JBean]

Actually, considering GA willingness to involve herself in high profile cases, I don't doubt she was willing to take this case.

This forum is not an echo chamber that allows only one idea or opinion. If you want to beleive this man and have the utmost faith in his good intentions, that is aboslutley your right, but because I question his timing and methods does not mean I can't expres my opinions. I do wonder how you know he couldn't contact the family through a private mediator? If you know for a fact Slayton tried to contact the family and was turned away, please share that information, but if this is just your assumption, I simply do not share your opinion.

Certainly, a lawyer with Allred's connections could get a private message to Jaycee, but the news conference was an easier and showier way to get out their message.

ActuallyJaycee's camp will not acknowledge that Glo has tried to get hold of them. They are not recognozing them at this point.
Bigger fish to fry at this time imo.

 

[Tizzle]

Thanks for the information.

My objection to his contact is I think this is much too soon and much too demanding. Again, my opinion. If this was my child, I would have a Berlin Wall around her, as well. If my daughter was stolen from me, I would do everything I could to protect her from anything or anyone I think might inhibit her recovery. If that makes people angry, too bad. This is not about anyone but Jaycee and the girls. Truthfully, Terry doesn't know Ken, and he doesn't know her, so why should she open her home and risk their privacy and sheltered environment to a virtual stranger. They own nothing to anyone -- even Ken.

I listened to the radio program. I heard a lot of excuses and accusations that prevented him from seeing his child, a rather lame attempt to find her, an "out of sight, out of mind," and then the idea he must now be an immediate part of her life.

Just a thought, how does Ken know there are no positive male role models in Jaycee's life?

As for Allred's fee, we really don't know what she is charging if anything.

BBM
Either way, he approached her with the idea that he would probably have to pay for her services. Whether or not she offered to work pro bono is unknown. But it's doubtful he would contact her without a penny in his pocket and the idea that Glo would work for free.

I, too, would want to protect my child in these circumstances. Without a doubt. But not to the point where I would have to lie to her or keep secrets like this from her, if that is, in fact, what is happening. Jaycee at least has a right to know that he's made this offering to her and she has the right to decide herself. Jaycee would probably be more angry about them keeping this information from her than she would be about him publicly stating he loves and wants to help her in any way he can.
I don't think Ken believes she doesn't currently have any positive male role models, he probably actually doesn't even know. I think he knows she hasn't had one for 18 years and wants to show her with anyone else that wants to that men can actually be trusted and caring and giving. I don't think he wants to deprive her of any other positive male role models but wants to have the opportunity to be an example of one for her. I'm sure he knows that Mr. Probyn is also a positive male role model for her, but what's wrong with more than one? Absolutely nothing. Especially when she was deprived of one for nearly 2 decades.

 

[i.b.nora]

I think Mr $layton, and the girl$, should butt out. He has very poor timing.

 

[JBean]

BBM
Either way, he approached her with the idea that he would probably have to pay for her services. Whether or not she offered to work pro bono is unknown. But it's doubtful he would contact her without a penny in his pocket and the idea that Glo would work for free.

I, too, would want to protect my child in these circumstances. Without a doubt. But not to the point where I would have to lie to her or keep secrets like this from her, if that is, in fact, what is happening. Jaycee at least has a right to know that he's made this offering to her and she has the right to decide herself. Jaycee would probably be more angry about them keeping this information from her than she would be about him publicly stating he loves and wants to help her in any way he can.
I don't think Ken believes she doesn't currently have any positive male role models, he probably actually doesn't even know. I think he knows she hasn't had one for 18 years and wants to show her with anyone else that wants to that men can actually be trusted and caring and giving. I don't think he wants to deprive her of any other positive male role models but wants to have the opportunity to be an example of one for her. I'm sure he knows that Mr. Probyn is also a positive male role model for her, but what's wrong with more than one? Absolutely nothing. Especially when she was deprived of one for nearly 2 decades.

IMO, he is overestimating himself a bit at this point. if it is truly about Jaycee, he needs to wait and be patient. If Jaycee can be more patient than all of us put together, it is the least he can do at this point.

If his heart is true, it will withstand this transition period and be patient for her.

 

[kbl8201]

BBM
Either way, he approached her with the idea that he would probably have to pay for her services. Whether or not she offered to work pro bono is unknown. But it's doubtful he would contact her without a penny in his pocket and the idea that Glo would work for free.

I, too, would want to protect my child in these circumstances. Without a doubt. But not to the point where I would have to lie to her or keep secrets like this from her, if that is, in fact, what is happening. Jaycee at least has a right to know that he's made this offering to her and she has the right to decide herself. Jaycee would probably be more angry about them keeping this information from her than she would be about him publicly stating he loves and wants to help her in any way he can.
I don't think Ken believes she doesn't currently have any positive male role models, he probably actually doesn't even know. I think he knows she hasn't had one for 18 years and wants to show her with anyone else that wants to that men can actually be trusted and caring and giving. I don't think he wants to deprive her of any other positive male role models but wants to have the opportunity to be an example of one for her. I'm sure he knows that Mr. Probyn is also a positive male role model for her, but what's wrong with more than one? Absolutely nothing. Especially when she was deprived of one for nearly 2 decades.

carl is/was a positive role model for jaycee and she knows and remembers him. im just saying.

 

[LillyRush]

The more I think about this, the more I feel that Jaycee's counselor(s) should be the ones to deliver the news about her bio-dad trying to get in touch with her. She has a lot to deal with right now and the professional counselors surely would be able to assess when she might be at a point to process this information. Maybe that is what Jaycee's family is planning to do?

 

[Imbackon]

The more I think about this, the more I feel that Jaycee's counselor(s) should be the ones to deliver the news about her bio-dad trying to get in touch with her. She has a lot to deal with right now and the professor counselors surely would be able to assess when she might be at a point to process this information. Maybe that is what Jaycee's family is planning to do?

You are so right! The counselors or whatever mental health professionals may working with her may have decided it was not in JC's best interests to even bring him up to her yet much less talk about introductions.
I don't think everyone really gets the trauma that she may have experienced and that time is needed to adjust. The only people she should be in contact with for now should only be those that have the highest level of trust factor.

 

[kbl8201]

You are so right! The counselors or whatever mental health professionals may working with her may have decided it was not in JC's best interests to even bring him up to her yet much less talk about introductions.
I don't think everyone really gets the trauma that she may have experienced and that time is needed to adjust. The only people she should be in contact with for now should only be those that have the highest level of trust factor.

we all know what kind of trauma she's been thru. i just wonder if slayton and his lawyer do.

 

[LillyRush]

Thanks for supporting my comment!

Oh, I had to go back and correct something...I meant to say professional counselors....not professor counselors. lol Time for bed. :angel:

 

[meep meep]

The word from Jaycee's camp was "it's not even on our radar". She will attend to it if and when she is ready. Hopefully she has good people advising and assisting her -- it sounds like she might.

I still submit that we need to see biodad's next move before ascribing any motive to his actions. The rest is just rhetoric and supposition IMO.

 

[kbl8201]

The word from Jaycee's camp was "it's not even on our radar". She will attend to it if and when she is ready. Hopefully she has good people advising and assisting her -- it sounds like she might.

I still submit that we need to see biodad's next move before ascribing any motive to his actions. The rest is just rhetoric and supposition IMO.

like you said.. he has to let jaycee make the first move.
anything else and all my fears about him will be realzed

 

[Openmind]

BBM
Either way, he approached her with the idea that he would probably have to pay for her services. Whether or not she offered to work pro bono is unknown. But it's doubtful he would contact her without a penny in his pocket and the idea that Glo would work for free.

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Absolutely agree. Fee is an unknown.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I, too, would want to protect my child in these circumstances. Without a doubt. But not to the point where I would have to lie to her or keep secrets like this from her, if that is, in fact, what is happening. Jaycee at least has a right to know that he's made this offering to her and she has the right to decide herself. Jaycee would probably be more angry about them keeping this information from her than she would be about him publicly stating he loves and wants to help her in any way he can. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Do you know Jaycee is being lied to or left in the dark? I have been surprised that the[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] family or has been turned into conspirators against Slayton, when we don't know what Jaycee knows or does not know. In truth, Jaycee may have been told of his request and she may have rejected the offer. She has never knew him [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]before and just might have enough to deal with without an absentee father that suddenly wants to be included in the family. And if she is being denied this information, they are with her everyday and undoubtedly have therapists that are helping them adjust and deal with the issues Jaycee and the girls are facing. Before I assume this is a personal slam against Slayton, I would consider if they feel this is just not the right time and situation to introduce a stranger to Jaycee and the girls. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I don't think Ken believes she doesn't currently have any positive male role models, he probably actually doesn't even know. I think he knows she hasn't had one for 18 years and wants to show her with anyone else that wants to that men can actually be trusted and caring and giving. I don't think he wants to deprive her of any other positive male role models but wants to have the opportunity to be an example of one for her. I'm sure he knows that Mr. Probyn is also a positive male role model for her, but what's wrong with more than one? Absolutely nothing. Especially when she was deprived of one for nearly 2 decades.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]That could be true and time will tell if he gets to be an active member of her life.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I don't know anything about Slayton but what he has revealed in the news conference. He may be the best guy in the world -- salt of the earth. He may be rolling in dough and wants to shower Jaycee and the girls with attention and material comforts. He may be a working guy that wants to help however he can. Slayton does have a beautiful family, and I hope he is happy in his current life, but this offer/demand is way too soon. Allred's aggressive style is offsetting to me. [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The undertone of the request has a level of threat that is inappropriate. His future behaviors will be even more telling.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]As for Terry, I don't know anything about her either. They have revealed very little (most information coming from Slayton) but she does appear to have done a good job raising Jaycee, was devastated when she was taken, and lived a low profile life in all th[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]e years since Jayces was taken. She willingly dropped her life when Jaycee was recovered and has since dedecated herself to her daughter and new found granddaughters. Considering her behaviors and her relationship with Jaycee, if they don't want to speak with Slayton, I trust them to know best. [/FONT]I admire that and wish them the absoute best. I hope all parties will always considering what is best for Jaycee and the girls first and foremost.[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] This has just begun.[/FONT]

 

[Tizzle]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Absolutely agree. Fee is an unknown.[/FONT]



[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Do you know Jaycee is being lied to or left in the dark? I have been surprised that the[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] family or has been turned into conspirators against Slayton, when we don't know what Jaycee knows or does not know. In truth, Jaycee may have been told of his request and she may have rejected the offer. She has never knew him [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]before and just might have enough to deal with without an absentee father that suddenly wants to be included in the family. And if she is being denied this information, they are with her everyday and undoubtedly have therapists that are helping them adjust and deal with the issues Jaycee and the girls are facing. Before I assume this is a personal slam against Slayton, I would consider if they feel this is just not the right time and situation to introduce a stranger to Jaycee and the girls. [/FONT]



[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]That could be true and time will tell if he gets to be an active member of her life.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I don't know anything about Slayton but what he has revealed in the news conference. He may be the best guy in the world -- salt of the earth. He may be rolling in dough and wants to shower Jaycee and the girls with attention and material comforts. He may be a working guy that wants to help however he can. Slayton does have a beautiful family, and I hope he is happy in his current life, but this offer/demand is way too soon. Allred's aggressive style is offsetting to me. [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The undertone of the request has a level of threat that is inappropriate. His future behaviors will be even more telling.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]As for Terry, I don't know anything about her either. They have revealed very little (most information coming from Slayton) but she does appear to have done a good job raising Jaycee, was devastated when she was taken, and lived a low profile life in all th[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]e years since Jayces was taken. She willingly dropped her life when Jaycee was recovered and has since dedecated herself to her daughter and new found granddaughters. Considering her behaviors and her relationship with Jaycee, if they don't want to speak with Slayton, I trust them to know best. [/FONT]I admire that and wish them the absoute best. I hope all parties will always considering what is best for Jaycee and the girls first and foremost.[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] This has just begun.[/FONT]

BBM
No, I don't know that they are withholding information from her or lying to her about Mr. Slayton, that's why I said "if that is, in fact, what is happening." It does seem to be what he and Glo are suggesting, though. Mr. Slayton seems to be a rationally thinking man, and I don't feel he and Glo would say that they are unable to make contact with her reps if it were untrue. If Jaycee has been told and did, in fact, reject his offer, why wouldn't her reps just tell him that? Do you really think that if he thought Jaycee didn't want anything to do with him, he would continue to badger her by making 2 public appearances? I don't, because I think he would think about his own daughters and how he wouldn't want someone to do that to them. JMO, but all indications point to Mr. Slayton being railroaded and Jaycee being left in the dark about it.

I realize that his timing isn't viewed as the best, but wouldn't you want to know after all this time if she really is your daughter? Don't you think she would want to know after all these years? If you were him, wouldn't you want to help her in any way and wouldn't you want to make sure she knew you wanted to offer yourself to her? Wouldn't you want to make up for not being there for her as soon you got the first chance to?With Jaycee's reappearance, he's been given a second chance to make right all the wrong he's done in regards to Jaycee. And she's been given a chance to have the relationship with the real dad that she's probably always wondered about. Just because he made bad decisions doesn't mean Jaycee didn't want to know about him. I've known a few children and adults of absentee fathers, they ALL wondered about their real father and always wanted to meet their real father. You think Jaycee, for some reason, is different? Her situation is different, yes, but a person never forgets to wonder about a dad they never knew regardless of the circumstances.

And you make mention of the fact that they may not feel it's the right time to introduce a stranger to Jaycee and the girls. I think you forget, though, that EVERYBODY Jaycee's girls have been introduced to over the last month are all strangers to them and on some level to Jaycee, too. As strong as Jaycee obviously is, I don't think it would hurt her one bit to know, after all these years, that her real dad wants to create a healthy relationship with her. If, after that, SHE is not interested in meeting him, then they need to tell Mr. Slayton that and not decide on their own that it's best she doesn't know about his interest in being a part of her life and lives of her girls. She'll surely be more angry that this was decided FOR her and not WITH her, she is an adult, after all. Far more angry than she'll be finding out that he's been reaching out to her. For all we know, though, their meeting may already be in the works. It's also worth mentioning that if Mr. Slayton had just sat back and said nothing and waited "until a better time", as you suggest, he would likely be ridiculed and demonized for not "being a man and stepping forward" sooner, possibly more harshly than he is now. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Mr. Slayton is damned if does, damned if he doesn't.

 

[kbl8201]

BBM
No, I don't know that they are withholding information from her or lying to her about Mr. Slayton, that's why I said "if that is, in fact, what is happening." It does seem to be what he and Glo are suggesting, though. Mr. Slayton seems to be a rationally thinking man, and I don't feel he and Glo would say that they are unable to make contact with her reps if it were untrue. If Jaycee has been told and did, in fact, reject his offer, why wouldn't her reps just tell him that? Do you really think that if he thought Jaycee didn't want anything to do with him, he would continue to badger her by making 2 public appearances? I don't, because I think he would think about his own daughters and how he wouldn't want someone to do that to them. JMO, but all indications point to Mr. Slayton being railroaded and Jaycee being left in the dark about it.

I realize that his timing isn't viewed as the best, but wouldn't you want to know after all this time if she really is your daughter? Don't you think she would want to know after all these years? If you were him, wouldn't you want to help her in any way and wouldn't you want to make sure she knew you wanted to offer yourself to her? Wouldn't you want to make up for not being there for her as soon you got the first chance to?With Jaycee's reappearance, he's been given a second chance to make right all the wrong he's done in regards to Jaycee. And she's been given a chance to have the relationship with the real dad that she's probably always wondered about. Just because he made bad decisions doesn't mean Jaycee didn't want to know about him. I've known a few children and adults of absentee fathers, they ALL wondered about their real father and always wanted to meet their real father. You think Jaycee, for some reason, is different? Her situation is different, yes, but a person never forgets to wonder about a dad they never knew regardless of the circumstances.

And you make mention of the fact that they may not feel it's the right time to introduce a stranger to Jaycee and the girls. I think you forget, though, that EVERYBODY Jaycee's girls have been introduced to over the last month are all strangers to them and on some level to Jaycee, too. As strong as Jaycee obviously is, I don't think it would hurt her one bit to know, after all these years, that her real dad wants to create a healthy relationship with her. If, after that, SHE is not interested in meeting him, then they need to tell Mr. Slayton that and not decide on their own that it's best she doesn't know about his interest in being a part of her life and lives of her girls. She'll surely be more angry that this was decided FOR her and not WITH her, she is an adult, after all. Far more angry than she'll be finding out that he's been reaching out to her. For all we know, though, their meeting may already be in the works. It's also worth mentioning that if Mr. Slayton had just sat back and said nothing and waited "until a better time", as you suggest, he would likely be ridiculed and demonized for not "being a man and stepping forward" sooner, possibly more harshly than he is now. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Mr. Slayton is damned if does, damned if he doesn't.

the timing is awful there is no getting around that. the issue should be what is best for jaycee, and slayton and terry might both not be able to make that decision for her. in the end i thihk it is up to her and her coundelers, not her parents, not lawyers, and not some judge.