Guess I've gotten lost in other threads and didn't realize the "side bar" was at thread # 25.......OMG.
The monsoon started here the 30th of June........it's just wonderful! Already pulled 2 of our trucks out of #1. Slick as snot mud, and #2. Dry wash with a flash flood of a height of 2 1/2 feet. It's an ADVENTURE!!!!!:happydance:
Killed our first rattler a few days ago. My son has seen many more at his place, but doesn't want to dispatch them, just hoping his "snake sense" doesn't get the best of him. *OK, you guys banned me from posting snake pics, so I'll just put this: :snake:
*Think* I have a tentative due date for Kissy, the horse, September 8th. Just figuring in the moon phases (full moon that night) and her Royal Fatness's appearance.
Weirdness yesterday. My little brother got a call from the Swedish Hospital Social Services in Washington. Seems our "father" is in end stage dementia, on a 30 second loop saying someone in the family is out to get him. Social Services is contacting his children before giving end care over to his boyfriend, guess they didn't get married. My lil' bro was the only sibling with a public contact phone number. All the rest of us have changed our phone numbers specifically because of not wanting contact with "dad'.
I have had no contact with "dad" for about 18 years. He's 78...........
And I feel absolutely nothing.
My son got me to call last night out of his concern for medical history and anything that might be genetically pre-disposed for him or any future children. I talked to a nurse who's 2nd language is English........seriously, why do hospitals hire people who can't communicate with the public at large?
So I got the name of the Dr. handling "dad's" case, and left my name and number for a call back this morning.
I guess the humanitarian thing would be to make sure he signed a DNR and Medical Power of Attorney, or whatever it's called, and if he didn't, sign it for him.
I figured I wouldn't feel anything.........it's just weird that that's actually what I feel now that it's here.
It's kind of a tragic commentary that a man looses his mind in his later years, needs care, and none of his 4 children and 1 foster child could care less. But you reap what you sow. Sucks to be him.
In my entire lifetime, he said he loved me only once, and that was under duress. The last time I talked and hung up on him, I told him he was a piss poor excuse for a father and he'd die a lonely old man.......
My lil' bro says I'm just too prophetic.
I envy any of you who had a good family life growing up, but I have no idea what it would be like. I know what it's like to be a mother and love my children, but I don't know what it's like to have loving parents. Won't ever have it. :sigh:
I don't know why you feel the way you feel about your father and you can tell me to mind my business (or as my mother would say,"Go choke yourself"), but I don't know of any parent that is a "perfect" parent or any person that has had a "perfect" family life. I certainly didn't have perfect parents- with my father always judging his children by how much money they made. Money seemed to be his "god". He certainly made everyone's life miserable.
I never talk about my father (I tend to just talk about my mother). My father was hard to love, IMO, and I don't know how or why my mother stayed with him all those years. Maybe it was because, years ago, you stayed with your partner, no matter what, or maybe it was because they were from Italy and had different ideas of what their life should be? I don't know.
I do know that my father was a hard worker, kept his family in food, clothing,etc.- the best he could. Maybe he wasn't a "good" parent- maybe he didn't know how to be a "father"? There are no books on how to raise children (the hardest job in the world). I do know that my older son loved his Grandfather very much and overlooked his shortcomings and just concentrated on the "good" that is there and still does (and there was some good in my father- I do admit that). Love overlooks shortcomings.
I have tried to be a "better" parent than my father was (
perhaps I am a better parent than he was?), but I know that I have had my moments where I have lost my temper, said things/done things I regretted, and create unloving situations that I will want forgiveness from my children. I know one thing, I try not to "judge" my children too harshly and I did learn that from my father (what not to do to your children).
I was the "apple" of my father's eye when I was younger- his "favorite". I loved him so and he loved me (or so I thought). I didn't like my mother when I was young, but when the times became tough in my life, I realized that love doesn't care how much money you make or what your accomplishments were. Love was just...love and deep caring. That was my mother (and not my father). She always stood by me and my father did not. I thought I could never forgive my father.
We never know what life will bring to us. We will get old and, maybe, our children will judge us, too. Who wants to be defined by his or her worst moments? When we fall into the trap of labeling other people solely in light of their sin, we stop seeing the good in that person. Life throws us into a lot of situations that we would never have imagined for ourselves and even really sensible people can find themselves doing things that have other people shaking their heads. This is really one of those times when the old adage of some imaginary walking in someone else's moccasins comes into play.
Did I forgive my father and all his shortcomings? I have (and believe me, it was a hard thing to do). I have found compassion and understanding in that forgiveness of my father and I have stopped being angry about him. I can only hope for some forgiveness from my children when the time comes. Nurse resentment and you are are never released; forgive your parents for the past or the past forever holds you the permanent child.
Just my :twocents: and don't :tomato:
:blowkiss:
:doorhide:
Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes, they forgive them. ~Oscar Wilde
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Plain milk was only good to put on cereal or to dip cookies in. :giggle: Oh, I also had some "fresh" pork once, nastiest stuff I've ever eaten. :sick: So give me the commercialized version, fully cured and ladened with all the salt, sugar, and preservatives any day. :yes: But then I guess I'm 38 % Yankee? Or at least city girl. 
