I totally agree with you and others on the issue of one (1) year suspension. I think he has issues of some sort and maybe would learn better from a male teacher, or a different school. It seems the school felt this was the next step. I know that having worked in a elementary school that there were 2-3 kids that had personal assistance/counselors with them from the time they exited the bus till they entered the bus at dismissal. He seems a bit old for that but maybe not. jmo idk
Student suspended for sexual harassment after hugging teacher
- Thread starter Fairy1
- Start date
I totally agree with you and others on the issue of one (1) year suspension. I think he has issues of some sort and maybe would learn better from a male teacher, or a different school. It seems the school felt this was the next step. I know that having worked in a elementary school that there were 2-3 kids that had personal assistance/counselors with them from the time they exited the bus till they entered the bus at dismissal. He seems a bit old for that but maybe not. jmo idk
Zuri
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2013
- Messages
- 8,782
- Reaction score
- 123
Thank you for including the link. I watched the video and was rather shocked. He didn't appear to ask the teacher for permission to hug her. From looking at his approach, he could have stopped with just a shoulder hug. It appears inappropriate to me. I hug my friends and certainly not like that.
What was interesting from the interview, there was no accountability for the previous 2 suspensions. I would imagine the school looked into "who" put the BB gun in his backpack and "who" gave him the medicine he had a reaction to. He appears to be not accountable for this action either. I may have missed it in the interview, but I did not hear him say he apologized immediately to the teacher.
With the rape and murder of the teacher in New England recently, I can certainly see why action was swift and severe. Personal boundaries need to be respected and he clearly did not. Thanks for posting this story. Every parent needs to use this as a cautionary tale. JMV
Cherry
Pie
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2010
- Messages
- 3,933
- Reaction score
- 1,630
You know when I first heard this story I was like omg PC again; overboard. Then; I saw the video. He put her in a Grandfather type Andrea Sneiderman Hug and INSTANTLY she was not having ANY OF IT. I don't blame her either as he came up from behind. It was totally inappropriate, unwarranted, and his suspension should stand as such. It was unwarranted touching by a student on a teacher, from behind. She had to push him off of her.
I found his "interviews" with the press afterwards just as creepy if you ask me *no one did* It's just body language...and something is just off here.
I found his "interviews" with the press afterwards just as creepy if you ask me *no one did* It's just body language...and something is just off here.
BeginnersLuck
New Member
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2012
- Messages
- 4,003
- Reaction score
- 54
I don't see suspending this boy for a year doing him any good, so hopefully there will be alternative options for him.
This is another one of those stories where we are getting some little tidbits, but aren't privy to all the information. This young man definitely needs a good talking to about personal space and boundaries. He needs counseling and needs to accept responsibility for his actions. The only info we have on his past discipline is from him and it according to him it wasn't his fault. I would think from the past discipline he would have had counseling.
He came up from behind and put his arms around that teacher and his arm is up around her neck. His face is in her neck. The class room is almost empty. This would probably freak me out. She states that she has told him no before. I have had encounters males in my past that I have told specifically and firmly not to touch me and they have deliberately repeatedly done it anyway, even though they knew it bothered me. It was like they enjoyed pushing those limits and did it on purpose because it bothered me.
Since only one side is presented, there is no telling how many warnings or reports have been made that involve issues with personal space and boundaries.
He has problems and warning signs that need to be dealt with. Hopefully he will get the services he needs to prevent future problems in his life.
This is another one of those stories where we are getting some little tidbits, but aren't privy to all the information. This young man definitely needs a good talking to about personal space and boundaries. He needs counseling and needs to accept responsibility for his actions. The only info we have on his past discipline is from him and it according to him it wasn't his fault. I would think from the past discipline he would have had counseling.
He came up from behind and put his arms around that teacher and his arm is up around her neck. His face is in her neck. The class room is almost empty. This would probably freak me out. She states that she has told him no before. I have had encounters males in my past that I have told specifically and firmly not to touch me and they have deliberately repeatedly done it anyway, even though they knew it bothered me. It was like they enjoyed pushing those limits and did it on purpose because it bothered me.
Since only one side is presented, there is no telling how many warnings or reports have been made that involve issues with personal space and boundaries.
He has problems and warning signs that need to be dealt with. Hopefully he will get the services he needs to prevent future problems in his life.
ScarlettScarpetta
When the going gets tough, drink coffee
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2012
- Messages
- 12,690
- Reaction score
- 185
Has anyone actually seen the video because at the end of the hug he kisses her neck.. And that is where the issue came from. You can see her be fine until he does that.
Do I think he should be suspended for a year? No. But I do think he seems to be more a trouble maker than it seemed at first.
Do I think he should be suspended for a year? No. But I do think he seems to be more a trouble maker than it seemed at first.
I saw the video. I didn't find the hug offensive. I'm a huggie person by nature, maybe that's why I saw nothing wrong with it.
I don't care about his previous unrelated school record.
I don't know who to believe about being warned before about hugging.
Screwing up his entire future over a hug seems ridiculous to me.
If he's to be punished, make the punishment logical and a true learning experience like sensitivity training or attend a training on sexual harassment and write a huge essay on it. Who knows... What he could LEARN from the experience could even alter his career path and turn him into an advocate!
What the school is doing will be of no benefit to anyone. It will do far more harm than good, it's like killing a fly with a sledge hammer.
All IMO
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2
I don't care about his previous unrelated school record.
I don't know who to believe about being warned before about hugging.
Screwing up his entire future over a hug seems ridiculous to me.
If he's to be punished, make the punishment logical and a true learning experience like sensitivity training or attend a training on sexual harassment and write a huge essay on it. Who knows... What he could LEARN from the experience could even alter his career path and turn him into an advocate!
What the school is doing will be of no benefit to anyone. It will do far more harm than good, it's like killing a fly with a sledge hammer.
All IMO
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2
EGirl
#RockportStrong
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2008
- Messages
- 2,577
- Reaction score
- 2,958
I watched it multiple times, including in slow motion.
She was never ok with it. Which is why she does't 'embrace' him.
Also.... you don't find it odd that he never engages in any conversation? Do you ever hug someone in almost a 'drive by fashion' like this?
There is no 'Hi Mrs So n So.... just grab, kiss and walk away. This isn't a normal 'hugger' IMO.
ScarlettScarpetta
When the going gets tough, drink coffee
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2012
- Messages
- 12,690
- Reaction score
- 185
Yes but I am a hugger too. However I know about boundaries so I would not do that to a teacher, an employee, a boss, I would do that to my very best friend.
ScarlettScarpetta
When the going gets tough, drink coffee
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2012
- Messages
- 12,690
- Reaction score
- 185
You don't care about it? It goes to show his willingness to break rules and what his past behavior was. He kisses her neck. That is way way over the line.
She said his lips and cheek brushed her neck.
Kiss? I believe that's mis characterization
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2
I see nothing that shows this behavior or any other was a persistent ongoing problem. The reported incidences were far apart and unrelated to hugging.
I need way more information to get behind the schools consequence for a hug.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2
I am going to say this knowing some will think I am being thoughtless and cold, but if the kid as been in trouble before, including lengthy suspensions, etc... then this suspension certainly isn't the sole thing threatening his "college ambition" and I have to question whether he would even make it through college.....
ScarlettScarpetta
When the going gets tough, drink coffee
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2012
- Messages
- 12,690
- Reaction score
- 185
It was not just a hug. And it does not matter if that child repeatedly is in trouble it does not have to be over the same thing for there to be stiff consequences.
At this venture he may not make it though high school.
bbm
Exactly as this woman found out.
Woman sentenced to 70 years in prison after stealing Christmas lights
Brock received such a tough sentence because of her criminal record
http://www.khou.com/news/texas-news...fter-stealing-Christmas-lights-236120671.html
If a teacher had hugged a student in this exact same way, some of the same people saying they see nothing wrong with this would be the very ones calling for this teacher to be fired.
This kids actions are what is ruining his future--not the teacher. Not the school.
This kids actions are what is ruining his future--not the teacher. Not the school.
SwampMama
Insomniac Extraordinaire
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2011
- Messages
- 3,354
- Reaction score
- 46
Former teacher here. I can only say that as much as I loved teaching, I am so glad to be out of it now because of all of the dangers associated with it like shooting and sex scandals.
I would imagine this teacher is VERY aware of the dangers of being accused of inappropriate relationships with students and does NOT appreciate this unwanted touching because it is inappropriate and very dangerous to her as a teacher. Such situations seem to be rampant lately between female teachers and male students. One allegation could ruin her career and she probably knows it.
It sounds like the student has an big issue with accepting responsibility for his actions because in "Someone else" put the BB in his back pack and "someone else" gave him drugs at school that led to a huge disturbance (These are previous incidents he was suspended for, not related to this incident).
I would probably imagine that there was a lot that happened previous to this incident that hasn't been discussed. If I were uncomfortable about a students inappropriate behavior, I would have brought it to the attention of another teacher/staff member to discuss it and to get some help in witnessing the behaviors and documenting them.
I would imagine this teacher is VERY aware of the dangers of being accused of inappropriate relationships with students and does NOT appreciate this unwanted touching because it is inappropriate and very dangerous to her as a teacher. Such situations seem to be rampant lately between female teachers and male students. One allegation could ruin her career and she probably knows it.
It sounds like the student has an big issue with accepting responsibility for his actions because in "Someone else" put the BB in his back pack and "someone else" gave him drugs at school that led to a huge disturbance (These are previous incidents he was suspended for, not related to this incident).
I would probably imagine that there was a lot that happened previous to this incident that hasn't been discussed. If I were uncomfortable about a students inappropriate behavior, I would have brought it to the attention of another teacher/staff member to discuss it and to get some help in witnessing the behaviors and documenting them.
Going only off of what I've been able to read on this story, knowing full well we rarely get the full story right away anymore...
The hug was inappropriate. She has (allegedly) told him numerous times not to hug her.
Anyone else notice the hand going for a certain area in the beginning of said "hug"? That jumped out at me immediately, but I may not have seen what I think I saw, if that makes sense.
As a student, I never considered hugging a teacher appropriate. There was a male student in a class I took as a senior who would hug all over our teacher, and it made me very uncomfortable. She was constantly telling him to keep his hands to himself. She never turned him in or anything, so there may be more to that story that I'm not privy to, but the bottom line is that if a teacher does not want physical contact with his/her students, it shouldn't be OK for a student to touch them (and vice versa).
The bottom line is that he is nearly an adult, expected to enter the adult world within months, and he is behaving inappropriately when asked not to continue a behavior. He isn't some little kid that doesn't know any better, and if he doesn't seem to grasp "stay out of personal space" when told to do so, one might consider that he is on a spectrum that doesn't understand what that means. Since there is no indication or mention of such, we have to assume he is simply not listening or not respecting someone's wishes to not be touched.
The hug was inappropriate. She has (allegedly) told him numerous times not to hug her.
Anyone else notice the hand going for a certain area in the beginning of said "hug"? That jumped out at me immediately, but I may not have seen what I think I saw, if that makes sense.
As a student, I never considered hugging a teacher appropriate. There was a male student in a class I took as a senior who would hug all over our teacher, and it made me very uncomfortable. She was constantly telling him to keep his hands to himself. She never turned him in or anything, so there may be more to that story that I'm not privy to, but the bottom line is that if a teacher does not want physical contact with his/her students, it shouldn't be OK for a student to touch them (and vice versa).
The bottom line is that he is nearly an adult, expected to enter the adult world within months, and he is behaving inappropriately when asked not to continue a behavior. He isn't some little kid that doesn't know any better, and if he doesn't seem to grasp "stay out of personal space" when told to do so, one might consider that he is on a spectrum that doesn't understand what that means. Since there is no indication or mention of such, we have to assume he is simply not listening or not respecting someone's wishes to not be touched.
BeginnersLuck
New Member
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2012
- Messages
- 4,003
- Reaction score
- 54
If this boy has some issues that need to be addressed, it doesn't do him or anyone else any good to ignore them.
I get tired of seeing MSM report these things without all the facts. It's not fair when the other side is prevented from showing or speaking about past behavior.
Without doing more research, I don't know what the disciplinary policy is at the school. Considering the suspension was for a entire year and considering the statement they released, I would venture to say that there are more recent problems than "he" stated in his interview. He is a senior now and he told of incidents that happened in 7th and 9th grade, both of which he attributed to another student. In 7th grade the incident involved a weapon, but he states another student mysteriously put it there. In 9th grade he doesn't elaborate on the extent of what he did, but he blames it on a pill he took that someone else gave him. His mother might buy his stories, but I don't.
Does he have a pattern of blaming others for his actions?
Giving a person national media attention, insinuating or portraying the school and teachers as being the bad guys, signing petitions and all these other things don't help a individual that may need help to prevent future problems. They enable and support the person that may be in the wrong. It's not a good message to send.
I get tired of seeing MSM report these things without all the facts. It's not fair when the other side is prevented from showing or speaking about past behavior.
Without doing more research, I don't know what the disciplinary policy is at the school. Considering the suspension was for a entire year and considering the statement they released, I would venture to say that there are more recent problems than "he" stated in his interview. He is a senior now and he told of incidents that happened in 7th and 9th grade, both of which he attributed to another student. In 7th grade the incident involved a weapon, but he states another student mysteriously put it there. In 9th grade he doesn't elaborate on the extent of what he did, but he blames it on a pill he took that someone else gave him. His mother might buy his stories, but I don't.
Does he have a pattern of blaming others for his actions?
Giving a person national media attention, insinuating or portraying the school and teachers as being the bad guys, signing petitions and all these other things don't help a individual that may need help to prevent future problems. They enable and support the person that may be in the wrong. It's not a good message to send.
Similar threads
- Locked
