UK - Nurse Lucy Letby Faces 22 Charges - 7 Murder/15 Attempted Murder of Babies #17

[WaxLyrical]

I’m getting a lot of trauma for sure.

It seems coherent enough, obviously laden with emotion. Allot of trauma. it makes sense mostly but is obviously not something alot of thought has gone into. Random jotting down of passing thoughts.

what Is it that you find very disturbing?

seems more like a very traumatised individual who seems to be very desperate indeed.

eta.
on second thought, the note with loadsa names on it is freaking me out a bit. That ones way less coherent and yeh is definitely strange. Not quite sure what to draw from it though.

I wonder if all the tigger, smudge, whiskey etc is some kind of (written) grounding exercise to distract from intrusive thoughts.

 

[katydid23]

At least we know the note was likely written June 22-25th the following year 2017 as per "Today is your birthday"

Apologies, got confused between birth and death. Would need to check birth dates of O, P and Q

I think baby Q died on June the 25th

 

[katydid23]

The light green post-it, I can decipher most of it....the words I cannot read I skipped over and put [...]


Monday
Can’t go to AM, clinical area + will be disciplined.

Anticipate another 6/12

[blurred out] > Police naming me [obviously no evidence and would have been spoken to, but still upsetting]

Supporting me how they can but can’t confirm […] I didnt do anything [or anyone else] until it’s finished

OOPS---looks like y'all already did this one

 

[katydid23]

Why exactly are these (frankly, deeply disturbing) notes being made public when the trial is still ongoing?

I guess they are considered evidence of her state of mind at the time.

 

[Sweeper2000]

I wonder if all the tigger, smudge, whiskey etc is some kind of (written) grounding exercise to distract from intrusive thoughts.

I wonder if they are indeed the names of her cats. Something she has allot of love for. A positive thought keeping her afloat whilst sinking in a sea of despair. Kind of “focus on the positive“ Im not surprised at all if thats the case. complsteely Normal to seek comfort when overwhelmed with negative feelings. Looking at the notes I think we can see that. Obviously in turmoil about how things happened hence why we see her naming the root of her negative thoughts ie doc choc and the abandonment of her by him in her eyes and someone she truly valued we also see the names of people we know are helping her, karen Rees, occupational health perhaps tigger and smudge the cats.

I think that’s the gist of these notes. She’s just naming things that have hurt her and naming things that she sees as a positive. Light and dark, bad and good.

 

[katydid23]

Maybe Kathryn and Karen were the ones who sat her down and told her she couldn't contact the doctor anymore. Maybe he didn't have the balls to do it himself. That could be why their names are sprawled all over the notes. Total speculation on my part. But I'm still curious what the illegible word is when LL writes "annoyed that Kathryn *advertiser censored* and didn't tell me". On the second yellow notes.

That's ^^^ an interesting thought. I had wondered if the consultants had told Dr Choc that he should not be communicating with LL during the investigation. Perhaps he did ask management to tell her she shouldn't contact him anymore as well?

 

[Cardgame]

I wonder if that red and black note is a sort of incantation, spell, or manifestation note: summoning their powers to her aid. The repetition of names. The overwriting. The word love in red. 'Pleasehelpme' etc. Invoking her cats as loving protective powers.

Magical thinking.

 

[katydid23]

I wish I'd kept mine now. Cute stuff about fancying boys, hating my parents, etc... (not really hating them, but overdramatising stuff, ya know)

My mom kept a scribble note of mine she found years later---I think I was about 13 or so----I wrote an angry note saying 'my mom doesn't want me to have any fun. Her whole goal in life is to keep me bored and unhappy,' lol

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

So there's another delay today. I'm becoming less confident we'll have all the verdicts in before June starts.

 

[katydid23]

I wonder how much she'd told her parents before police turned up to search their home when she was arrested.

She probably did have to explain some of it because she was taken off the unit. I don't think she could hide that for long.

 

[Sweeper2000]

One thing I do notice is that she never once expresses allot of worry about police involvement and that’s bolstered my point about a lack of fear or concern. It suggests she is cooperating with them and being open. She finds it “upsetting“ to me that looks not worried at all.

I don’t think these notes are helping the prosecutions case at this point in time. If anything it makes the confession note have less punching power especially with it being prsented before the new ones, they obviously cherry picked and made that out to be more than it was. Did not add the context or these other notes until way later.

one thing it might do though is enable us to figure out exactly when that confession note was written. Very late in proceedings Probably.

 

[katydid23]

One thing I do notice is that she never once expresses allot of worry about police involvement and that’s bolstered my point about a lack of fear or concern. It suggests she is cooperating with them and being open. She finds it “upsetting“ to me that looks not worried at all.

I don’t think these notes are helping the prosecutions case at this point in time. If anything it makes the confession note have less punching power especially with it being prsented before the new ones, they obviously cherry picked and made that out to be more than it was. Did not add the context or these other notes until way later.

one thing it might do though is enable us to figure out exactly when that confession note was written. Very late in proceedings Probably.

I don't know---I think this from the HELP note is very concerning:


'Today is your birthday but you aren't here and I am so sorry for that. I'm sorry that you couldn't have a chance at life you should have & for the pain that your parents must experience every day. We tried our best but it wasn't enough. I can't do it any more. I don't know if anyone will think of you today or any day but I do. I hope....always remember, because you should be. I can't do this any more. I want someone to help me but they can't so what is the point in asking. Hate my life.


If the bolded portion was not there, it could be interpreted more innocently. But the bolded seems like another confession type note, imo.

 

[Sweeper2000]

I don't know---I think this from the HELP note is very concerning:


'Today is your birthday but you aren't here and I am so sorry for that. I'm sorry that you couldn't have a chance at life you should have & for the pain that your parents must experience every day. We tried our best but it wasn't enough. I can't do it any more. I don't know if anyone will think of you today or any day but I do. I hope....always remember, because you should be. I can't do this any more. I want someone to help me but they can't so what is the point in asking. Hate my life.


If the bolded portion was not there, it could be interpreted more innocently. But the bolded seems like another confession type note, imo.

What do you think she is referring to In the bolded section? And why do you find it incriminating?

just so you know I think it’s a reference to her feelings and that’s what she wants help with.

 

[marynnu]

I think baby Q died on June the 25th

I don't think Baby Q died.

 

[Sweeper2000]

I don't think Baby Q died.

Baby q was the last and is n attempted murder charge.

 

[marynnu]

I don't know---I think this from the HELP note is very concerning:


'Today is your birthday but you aren't here and I am so sorry for that. I'm sorry that you couldn't have a chance at life you should have & for the pain that your parents must experience every day. We tried our best but it wasn't enough. I can't do it any more. I don't know if anyone will think of you today or any day but I do. I hope....always remember, because you should be. I can't do this any more. I want someone to help me but they can't so what is the point in asking. Hate my life.


If the bolded portion was not there, it could be interpreted more innocently. But the bolded seems like another confession type note, imo.

I don't see that as a confession in any way, personally. The only slight thing for me is that there is nothing like 'I didn't do anything to hurt you'.

 

[Tortoise]

One thing I do notice is that she never once expresses allot of worry about police involvement and that’s bolstered my point about a lack of fear or concern. It suggests she is cooperating with them and being open. She finds it “upsetting“ to me that looks not worried at all.

I don’t think these notes are helping the prosecutions case at this point in time. If anything it makes the confession note have less punching power especially with it being prsented before the new ones, they obviously cherry picked and made that out to be more than it was. Did not add the context or these other notes until way later.

one thing it might do though is enable us to figure out exactly when that confession note was written. Very late in proceedings Probably.

That would be entirely consistent with her demeanour during the year she is on trial for, and with the demeanour of someone who would be bold enough to carry out the alleged acts.

JMO

 

[Sarahlou]

The notes make her look completely unhinged, which I absolutely think she is.

 

[Marantz4250b]

I don't know---I think this from the HELP note is very concerning:


'Today is your birthday but you aren't here and I am so sorry for that. I'm sorry that you couldn't have a chance at life you should have & for the pain that your parents must experience every day. We tried our best but it wasn't enough. I can't do it any more. I don't know if anyone will think of you today or any day but I do. I hope....always remember, because you should be. I can't do this any more. I want someone to help me but they can't so what is the point in asking. Hate my life.

If the bolded portion was not there, it could be interpreted more innocently. But the bolded seems like another confession type note, imo.

Then again, it could very easily be interpreted as someone who's innocent and is getting to the point of being unable to cope with the numbers of dead and collapsing babies and is at the end of her rope, mentally.

 

[Marantz4250b]

The notes make her look completely unhinged, which I absolutely think she is.

Yeah, think I used almost identical words the other day.

Whether she's guilty or not is almost beside the point. Those notes were written by someone who is deeply ill, in my totally non-expert opinion!