To play devil's advocate - of course, to you and I, the house of a chronic hoarder does not seem a great place to raise a child but it doesn't necessarily mean that the child's needs weren't being met.
She could've been clean, clothed, fed, watered, played with, sang to, read to and loved irrelevant to the hoarding and irrelevant to how you or I might think is normal or okay.
Kids are raised in third world countries, kids are raised in refugee camps, kids are raised in war zones - kids are even raised in immaculate show homes with wealthy parents without their needs being met and shown love.
I've mentioned before, talk of their child will be kept to a bare minimum for the anonymity of the child.
I respect your opinions and you are indeed playing devil's advocate which is a good thing in these type of threads, imo.
I have to disagree though with your example of children living in 3rd world countries, refugee camps and war zones. Their parents have no choice, they would give their right arm to live like SH, a nice home, welfare benefits, free heath care, feed their children good food, clothe them appropriately etc.
NM and SH chose to live as they did and it was definately a very dangerous environment for a child. If any of that heavy clutter fell onto her, she would have been seriously hurt or killed. This would be then an entirely different thread if that were the case and questions asked about family or Child Services not intervening before the inevitable happened.
I agree, wealthy parents with a show home doesn't necessarily mean the child will receive love, attention and guidance.
But this isn't about NM or SH's child or their child rearing abilities. It's about a beautiful 16 yr old girl, who had a whole life ahead of her, snatched away by a man-child whose hatred for her was beyond apprehension.
NM's reason behind kidnapping Becky was to teach her a lesson about her laziness and teenage expressions, her leaving clutter around which endangered
his mother. It is either false or he's a hypocrite of the major order. He saw no harm in making his child live under incredibly worse circumstances.
NM is a judgmental prat who poured negative feelings, downfalls and failings on a scapegoat, who was Becky. How dare she usurp him and receive the love and attention of
his mother! How dare she be attractive, have friends, yet suffer from anxiety and anorexia and could barely leave the house, so wilful! She was gaining attention and standing her ground and lending £100 to the down and out 28 yr old man! How humiliating for him!
Something had to give and NM conceived a plan with tragic consequences. He's hurt
his own mother and caused her health to suffer, that's not Becky's making! He's ripped the heart out of Becky's Dad and brother and all who loved her. NM deserves what's coming to him.
JMO