VA - Freshman daughter, mom 'good time drop off' outrages VA university

[Firefliezz21]

Lol I'm not disagreeing necessarily it's just funny because people here usually complain about teens growing up too fast, not the other way around.

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I think some parents refuse to acknowledge their teens actually do grow older and at an age where they must be responsible for their own decisions and mistakes. Lack of accountability is why our country is in such chaos.

 

[DexterMorgan]

Absolutely true and they are held accountable for their actions. No difference, as far as I'm concerned. Do the crime, do the time. Mommy & Daddy can't bail you out of the consequences of your own foolish decisions.

I was replying to the comment that suggested that a very drunk guy can't perform. So that's why i said

" Drunk and staggering people still get behind the wheel and go a good distance before the wreck.*

Jmo"

This means that they are capable to become victims while in a beligerent and almost comatose mode.

 

[katydid23]

I didn't. We all have our own set of morals which guide us.

True. But I was sexually abused by my uncle from age 7 to 9, so I had a lot of issues with promiscuity and drugs as a teen.

 

[jjenny]

I don't mean to be dismissive, but SHE accused HIM of rape. He didn't accuse her. It is not the same thing. She was wrong in accusing him, clearly. But he doesn't seem to have felt he was abused.

In a case such as this, I would hope that no attempt at prosecution would even be made. And if it was, shame on all. He should actually sue the university for financial restitution as well as reinstatement.

He was drunk, blacked out, he doesn't remember what happened. If he were a female would you be saying "she doesn't feel that she was abused" because she was drunk and has no memory of the incident? By the way University used it against him (because he was blacked out he couldn't tell his side of the story) and expelled him.

 

[Firefliezz21]

If I dropped my daughter off to school and seen those signs. I doubt I will be lol. I probably would be headed to the deans office to say wtf is this s..t.

Lol.

My daughter would beat me to the Dean's office. She is a woman and I've taught her to roar. lol

 

[Fairy1]

HE WAS ABUSED! His entire life was ruined when she accused him of rape. It is still in the courts and he is trying to get his life back. He was expelled in his senior year, has no diploma, cannot transfer, cannot get a job. And people are dismissive because a woman raped him.

and wow, does it matter if he FELT abused or not? If a woman slept through her rape is she NOT abused then? It amazes me how dismissive and unsympathetic people are when a male is the victim.

I'm sorry - but it seems to me he was abused by the accusation and ensuing repercussions, not by the sexual activity.

 

[flourish]

True. But I was sexually abused by my uncle from age 7 to 9, so I had a lot of issues with promiscuity and drugs as a teen.

It's disappointing when people's "morals" inhibit their understanding. I don't mean that as a criticism just an observation. If I'm misunderstanding I apologize, just that people who think all premarital sex is immoral sometimes stop their thinking there and they don't consider ....anyway....
((((Hugs to Katy))))

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[Fairy1]

He was drunk, blacked out, he doesn't remember what happened. If he were a female would you be saying "she doesn't feel that she was abused" because she was drunk and has no memory of the incident? By the way University used it against him (because he was blacked out he couldn't tell his side of the story) and expelled him.

Two years after the fact? Regardless of the gender of the "victim," yes, I would have said too bad, so sad. Deal with it.

 

[katydid23]

I'm sorry - but it seems to me he was abused by the accusation and ensuing repercussions, not by the sexual activity.

would you say that if it was a girl that had been raped while she was asleep? I doubt it.

 

[katydid23]

Two years after the fact? Regardless of the gender of the "victim," yes, I would have said too bad, so sad. Deal with it.

Do you know that a few of the recent rape accusations at Universities were made 2 years after the alleged assault? The 'Rape Tribunal' did not say too bad so sad. They expelled the males. Denied transfer requests. Gave them horrible reports that would prevent them from using any of their credits.

I will go get a link for a few of them:

https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2015/05/29/amherst/4t6JtKmaz7vlYSrQk5NDyJ/story.html

Expelled under new policy, ex-Amherst College student files suit

Amherst accused of ignoring evidence in alleged sexual assault

Meanwhile, the expelled student is in academic and professional limbo. His transcript, which he would need to finish his degree or get a higher position, says he was expelled for disciplinary reasons, according to the lawsuit.

Now 22, he was looking forward to a career that probably would have been enhanced by a degree from one of the country’s most prestigious liberal arts colleges

For now, he said in an interview, he works at a small company where he started as an intern last year before getting his first promotion.

His superiors wonder why he did not finish college. And he said he is so embarrassed about what happened that he stays home at night, and is so ashamed of being seen by former classmates that he wears sunglasses when riding the subway.

He has a teenage brother. “I had wanted to be a good role model for him, so this is so disappointing,” he said, as his eyes filled with tears.

 

[Fairy1]

would you say that if it was a girl that had been raped while she was asleep? I doubt it.

Yes, I would feel the same way. Two years after the fact? Yes.

 

[jjenny]

Two years after the fact? Regardless of the gender of the "victim," yes, I would have said too bad, so sad. Deal with it.

Well, I guess you'd be telling it to all the women that came out accusing Cosby of assault. Too bad, so sad, just deal with it.

 

[Fairy1]

Well, I guess you'd be telling it to all the women that came out accusing Cosby of assault. Too bad, so sad, just deal with it.

Nope - not the same thing at all. Powerless college boys against drunk women vs. powerful Hollywood legend against young women trying to make it in show business? Nowhere near the same thing.

 

[jjenny]

Nope - not the same thing at all. Powerless college boys vs. powerful Hollywood legend? Nowhere near the same thing.

I fail to understand what you are saying in this post. Numerous women came out claiming they were assaulted by Cosby. It's been way more than two years. Using your logic, you would be telling them too bad, so sad, deal with it.

 

[flourish]

Rape doesn't become not-rape through the passage of time. A statute of limitations may make prosecution impossible, but the rape didn't cease to have existed.

 

[katydid23]

Rachel B. Hitch, a Raleigh attorney, asked Dean Wasiolek of Duke University what would happen if two students got drunk to the point of incapacity, and then had sex.

“They have raped each other and are subject to expulsion?” Hitch asked.

“Assuming it is a male and female, it is the responsibility in the case of the male to gain consent before proceeding with sex,” said Wasiolek.

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HOW IS THAT FAIR?

 

[katydid23]

Rape doesn't become not-rape through the passage of time. A statute of limitations may make prosecution impossible, but the rape didn't cease to have existed.

RIGHT. But how is it fair for a student to wait two years, until a male students senior year, and then go to the office and say she revoked her consent. This is not like a rapist that jumped out of the stairwell and grabbed her. This is a male she consented to have sex with. And then two years later she goes to the office and said, YES, I did consent, but then I revoked consent and he did not stop.

SERIOUSLY? We have to automatically believe that story she is now telling? And he is expelled, 4 years of study and tuition, down the drain. Because 2 yrs later she comes forth and says he ignored her when she revoked consent?

I have a real problem with that.

 

[Fairy1]

I fail to understand what you are saying in this post. Numerous women came out claiming they were assaulted by Cosby. It's been way more than two years. Using your logic, you would be telling them too bad, so sad, deal with it.

Sorry you fail to understand. If you can't see the difference, I guess that's on you.

 

[flourish]

RIGHT. But how is it fair for a student to wait two years, until a male students senior year, and then go to the office and say she revoked her consent. This is not like a rapist that jumped out of the stairwell and grabbed her. This is a male she consented to have sex with. And then two years later she goes to the office and said, YES, I did consent, but then I revoked consent and he did not stop.

SERIOUSLY? We have to automatically believe that story she is now telling? And he is expelled, 4 years of study and tuition, down the drain. Because 2 yrs later she comes forth and says he ignored her when she revoked consent?

I have a real problem with that.

I've never said that isn't messed up. The individual cases you keep bringing up are exceptions. Yeah, I'm done responding to challenges to assertions I never made.

 

[katydid23]

I've never said that isn't messed up. The individual cases you keep bringing up are exceptions. Yeah, I'm done responding to challenges to assertions I never made.

Sorry if you felt I was challenging you. I am just so frustrated by the situation right now. :wave: And I don't think they are all that rare of exceptions. Anyone who has any sons in college or high school better have some long scary talks with them.