CA CA - Bob Harrod, 81, Orange County, 27 July 2009 - # 2

[Angelo]

If it was a FAMILY meeting..What's wrong with all the daughters coming together. If the daughter that had to drive the furthest didn't mind..just to get the family in order...I don't see this as a problem.

PS. It also goes to show that Bob was being stubborn about giving his daughters what was rightfully theirs and maybe the three of them together could make him understand what he was doing was wrong..

Again, we do not even know if Mr. Harrod was being stubborn. We do not know if the will story is true or if the daughters were really upset about their father's remarriage and plans to include Fontelle in his estate.

If the daughters were upset about his remarriage and the plans he had for changing his estate, then they had no business going over there and arguing with him.

 

[Fairy1]

Dolly used the word "old trailer."

I realize - but do we actually know what it was?

 

[Fairy1]

Again, we do not even know if Mr. Harrod was being stubborn. We do not know if the will story is true or if the daughters were really upset about their father's remarriage and plans to include Fontelle in his estate.

If the daughters were upset about his remarriage and the plans he had for changing his estate, then they had no business going over there and arguing with him.

Why? The issue was a family trust and daughters are family. Why shouldn't they have discussed it with Bob?

 

[Cubby]

I don't believe they had any idea they would be losing their father at that time. Surely the family trust had provisions that would have named an executor in the event of Bob's death. I doubt very much that would have been Fontelle at the point Bob went missing.



Yes, why didn't they resolve it before Fontelle came into the picture? That's a great question.



None of the legal wranglings came up until after Bob went missing and Fontelle was in the home. It all came up afterwards.

Sorry ya'll, but at this point, Fontelle is the ONLY one who has benefitted from Bob going "missing." I just have a difficult time seeing past that fact.

BBM. I have to respectfully disagree. I see the exact opposite. I see Bobs blood family protecting what the rightfully see as "theirs". Fontelle loses here. She lost the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

Do we know if Bob had made any changes to his will - legally, or did Bobs family do what they could to prevent that from happening? I do not see as who has the most to gain. I see it as who had the most to lose and Bobs family was apparently not at all welcoming to Bobs new wife.

JMO

 

[DollyPardonMe]

Dolly used the word "old trailer."

OK, excuse my wording..Whether it was a mobile home or trailer she lived on her sons property in it. She is in a much better living arrangement now, right?
No one answered my question..Is she destitute? Does she live on SSI? Is she asking the daughters to support her too? All I've heard is poor Fontelle. I'd like to know more about her character because the daughters are being raked through the mud and they have lost their father. It would be nice to see BOTH sides...IMHO

 

[Cubby]

Actually, Mr. Harrod's daughters referred to it as a mobile home when they first began posting on IS after Mr. Harrod's disappearance.

Then it is reasonable to beleive Fontelle's family had no way to know Bob's "net worth" prior to their marriage or possibly only after his disappearance.

So then we have to figure out how Fontelle could have set up Bobs disappearance in an appx 24 hour period of time which he spent most of Sunday evening with family, most of Monday day with his SIL. And Fontelle would have had to found that small window of time when Bob was not with his SIL monday to have him disappeared. I'm just not buying she could put this together this fast and from the other side of the country when her family was on the other side of the country as well. I just don't see it being possible.

 

[Cubby]

OK, excuse my wording..Whether it was a mobile home or trailer she lived on her sons property in it. She is in a much better living arrangement now, right?
No one answered my question..Is she destitute? Does she live on SSI? Is she asking the daughters to support her too? All I've heard is poor Fontelle. I'd like to know more about her character because the daughters are being raked through the mud and they have lost their father. It would be nice to see BOTH sides...IMHO

Were the daughters and grandson, SIL self sufficient without Bobs help? What would they have to lose if they lost the opportunity to keep their hands in Bobs wallet so to speak. I think the daughters comments about their father are open for discussion. Just like George and Cindy Anthony for example. The daughters spoke of these things of their father of their free will, and from what I have read they were not very nice.

JMO

 

[DollyPardonMe]

Then it is reasonable to beleive Fontelle's family had no way to know Bob's "net worth" prior to their marriage or possibly only after his disappearance.

So then we have to figure out how Fontelle could have set up Bobs disappearance in an appx 24 hour period of time which he spent most of Sunday evening, most of Monday day with his SIL. And Fontelle would have had to found that small window of time when Bob was not with his SIL monday to have him disappeared. I'm just not buying she could put this together this fast and from the other side of the country when her family was on the other side of the country as well. I just don't see it being possible.

The daughters have said all along they don't believe Fontelle had anything to do with Bob's disappearance. They still think it was the hairdresser.

 

[Fairy1]

BBM. I have to respectfully disagree. I see the exact opposite. I see Bobs blood family protecting what the rightfully see as "theirs". Fontelle loses here. She lost the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

Why shouldn't they protect their family's assets? They've been there all their lives. Fontelle was brand new. How do we know Bob was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with? I don't know that.

Do we know if Bob had made any changes to his will - legally, or did Bobs family do what they could to prevent that from happening? I do not see as who has the most to gain. I see it as who had the most to lose and Bobs family was apparently not at all welcoming to Bobs new wife.
JMO

I don't believe we know, Cubby. Though I would imagine if Bob had made any official changes, the legal wranglings we've seen on both sides would not have been necessary.

I think the daughters were welcoming to Fontelle before all of this happened. It's really since after Bob went missing things have become ugly.

It's a shame. All the fighting over money - and Bob Harrod has yet to be found.

 

[Fairy1]

The daughters have said all along they don't believe Fontelle had anything to do with Bob's disappearance. They still think it was the hairdresser.

Despite how it appears, so do I.

 

[Cubby]

The daughters have said all along they don't believe Fontelle had anything to do with Bob's disappearance. They still think it was the hairdresser.

Then why do they want her out of the house?
I think the hairdresser is the red herring Bobs family is trying to toss out there. Unless there is some kind of paper trail documenting a very large amount of missing money that can't be accounted for and some fancy stuff the Hairdresser would no way afford I don't see her and her husband being involved either.

JMO and just my gut.

 

[DollyPardonMe]

Were the daughters and grandson, SIL self sufficient without Bobs help? What would they have to lose if they lost the opportunity to keep their hands in Bobs wallet so to speak. I think the daughters comments about their father are open for discussion. Just like George and Cindy Anthony for example. The daughters spoke of these things of their father of their free will, and from what I have read they were not very nice.

JMO

They spoke the truth of their father and people just couldnt handle it!! We are supposed to love and respect our parents and speak highly of them BUT what do you do when you see you mother dying and your father will not spend the money to make her dying days more comfortable and peaceful. Would'nt you call him stingy, frugal, a tightwad..This is the only thing I remember reading about Mr Harrod but that would be enough for me. Not every father deserves respect. Yes, it is sad that he went missing. The daughters were still mourning the loss of their mother when he decides to marry someone from the past and he doesnt even prepare the daughters. This must really hurt all three daughters. They must be torn because they have had to deal with a distant father and now miss him because he is missing.

 

[Fairy1]

Then why do they want her out of the house?
I think the hairdresser is the red herring Bobs family is trying to toss out there. Unless there is some kind of paper trail documenting a very large amount of missing money that can't be accounted for and some fancy stuff the Hairdresser would no way afford I don't see her and her husband being involved either.

JMO and just my gut.

IIRC, Bob had given the hairdresser in excess of $50,000. There was an investigation into that long before Bob went missing. Even his good friend had a hinky feeling about her. We also don't know if she was left anything in Bob's own will.

I don't think we should count her out quite yet. And I don't believe LE has either.

 

[Fairy1]

They spoke the truth of their father and people just couldnt handle it!! We are supposed to love and respect our parents and speak highly of them BUT what do you do when you see you mother dying and your father will not spend the money to make her dying days more comfortable and peaceful. Would'nt you call him stingy, frugal, a tightwad..This is the only thing I remember reading about Mr Harrod but that would be enough for me. Not every father deserves respect. Yes, it is sad that he went missing. The daughters were still mourning the loss of their mother when he decides to marry someone from the past and he doesnt even prepare the daughters. This must really hurt all three daughters. They must be torn because they have had to deal with a distant father and now miss him because he is missing.

I lost my own Mommy over 7 years ago and it still hurts every day. Really don't have much use for my father. He's a self-serving liar who cheated on my Mom from day one. But, in my case there is NO money, no property, no trust, no will, etc. Not that I would feel differently if there was. I would feel the same about my father no matter what.

 

[Cubby]

Why shouldn't they protect their family's assets? They've been there all their lives. Fontelle was brand new. How do we know Bob was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with? I don't know that.



I don't believe we know, Cubby. Though I would imagine if Bob had made any official changes, the legal wranglings we've seen on both sides would not have been necessary.

I think the daughters were welcoming to Fontelle before all of this happened. It's really since after Bob went missing things have become ugly.

It's a shame. All the fighting over money - and Bob Harrod has yet to be found.

BBM. I hate to say this, but aside from marrying quickly- but having known each other previously, this is unfair to Fontelle. What if their parents were divorced and one remarried quickly. People remarry all the time. In HS I knew a gal whose parents were married over 25 years and knew each other 6 weeks before marrying. I think it is totally unfair to both Bob and Fontelle to presume their love was not true solely based on the amount of time they spent together before marrying. Aside from her being in their home - and sticking to her marital vows - I think the accusations are completely unfounded and unfair. JMO.....

My sons godfathers dad was married 52 years when his wife passed. He IMMEDIATELY began dating (within a 2-3 months max) a woman who had recently lost her husband. Both couples socialized together. He proposed right away too. I think 4 months into their relationship. She insisted on waiting until her husband was gone a year but had agreed to marry him prior to that year being up. They spent the rest of their lives together about another 10 years unti he passed.

I've come to find that people who are in long term marriages tend to not adjust well to not having companionship. Bob and Fontelle apparently both wanted that. I do not think the short relationship was out of the ordinary at all for both of their ages.

jmo

 

[Cubby]

IIRC, Bob had given the hairdresser in excess of $50,000. There was an investigation into that long before Bob went missing. Even his good friend had a hinky feeling about her. We also don't know if she was left anything in Bob's own will.

I don't think we should count her out quite yet. And I don't believe LE has either.

do we have confirmation of this outside of what Bobs daughters have stated? I just gotta ask.

 

[Fairy1]

BBM. I hate to say this, but aside from marrying quickly- but having known each other previously, this is unfair to Fontelle. What if their parents were divorced and one remarried quickly. People remarry all the time. In HS I knew a gal whose parents were married over 25 years and knew each other 6 weeks before marrying. I think it is totally unfair to both Bob and Fontelle to presume their love was not true solely based on the amount of time they spent together before marrying. Aside from her being in their home - and sticking to her marital vows - I think the accusations are completely unfounded and unfair. JMO.....

My sons godfathers dad was married 52 years when his wife passed. He IMMEDIATELY began dating (within a 2-3 months max) a woman who had recently lost her husband. Both couples socialized together. He proposed right away too. I think 4 months into their relationship. She insisted on waiting until her husband was gone a year but had agreed to marry him prior to that year being up. They spent the rest of their lives together about another 10 years unti he passed.

I've come to find that people who are in long term marriages tend to not adjust well to not having companionship. Bob and Fontelle apparently both wanted that. I do not think the short relationship was out of the ordinary at all for both of their ages.

jmo

I agree, Cubby. But these people had been together 60 years before!!! They had just recently reconnected and were married in short order. I understand older people not wanting to waste any time. But I would ask, how many guys that you knew when you were 15 - and living a couple thousand miles away from your home and family -would you marry in a matter of weeks - even at this point in your life?

It's a very romantic story and I sure wish we all could have seen a different ending. But I'm sorry, it's just a bit too much for me.

 

[Cubby]

They spoke the truth of their father and people just couldnt handle it!! We are supposed to love and respect our parents and speak highly of them BUT what do you do when you see you mother dying and your father will not spend the money to make her dying days more comfortable and peaceful. Would'nt you call him stingy, frugal, a tightwad..This is the only thing I remember reading about Mr Harrod but that would be enough for me. Not every father deserves respect. Yes, it is sad that he went missing. The daughters were still mourning the loss of their mother when he decides to marry someone from the past and he doesnt even prepare the daughters. This must really hurt all three daughters. They must be torn because they have had to deal with a distant father and now miss him because he is missing.

BBM. Respectfully. These were grown women we were talking about. Not grade school children who would need time being prepared mommy or daddy had died and mommy or daddy was going to remarry. I do not believe Bob owed his middle aged adult children any emotional preparing for decisions he made in his life. If they felt he was not properly caring for their mother while she was dying the time to do something about it was while their mother was alive. Not blasting it to the world and slamming him while he was missing if they felt their daddy betrayed their mommy and did not have the right to carry on in life without their mother.

As an adult Bob had the right to date or marry whomever he wanted.


jmo

 

[Cubby]

I agree, Cubby. But these people had been together 60 years before!!! They had just recently reconnected and were married in short order. I understand older people not wanting to waste any time. But I would ask, how many guys that you knew when you were 15 - and living a couple thousand miles away from your home and family -would you marry in a matter of weeks - even at this point in your life?

It's a very romantic story and I sure wish we all could have seen a different ending. But I'm sorry, it's just a bit too much for me.

I guess for myself I can see it without prejudice from experience.
I've seen couples die within weeks of each other I would have thought would have been stronger after 30-35 years of marriage based on struggles they overcame. And I thought my sons godfathers dad would have been one to die right away... He lived another 11 years, 10 of which he was happily married to someone else.

The fact is just because 60 years had passed, we are talking two people with a lifetime of experience who have likely learned from their failures and had a small bit of love for each other which remained despite their time apart.

moo

 

[DollyPardonMe]

BBM. I hate to say this, but aside from marrying quickly- but having known each other previously, this is unfair to Fontelle. What if their parents were divorced and one remarried quickly. People remarry all the time. In HS I knew a gal whose parents were married over 25 years and knew each other 6 weeks before marrying. I think it is totally unfair to both Bob and Fontelle to presume their love was not true solely based on the amount of time they spent together before marrying. Aside from her being in their home - and sticking to her marital vows - I think the accusations are completely unfounded and unfair. JMO.....

My sons godfathers dad was married 52 years when his wife passed. He IMMEDIATELY began dating (within a 2-3 months max) a woman who had recently lost her husband. Both couples socialized together. He proposed right away too. I think 4 months into their relationship. She insisted on waiting until her husband was gone a year but had agreed to marry him prior to that year being up. They spent the rest of their lives together about another 10 years unti he passed.

I've come to find that people who are in long term marriages tend to not adjust well to not having companionship. Bob and Fontelle apparently both wanted that. I do not think the short relationship was out of the ordinary at all for both of their ages.

jmo

My Father in Law buried my mother in Law and within a week went to the grave to put down some flowers and met a woman visiting her boyfriends grave and they started living together that day :waitasec: I thought it would never work. His kids were furious..But, he was with Jeannie for over 20 years before she just passed away..