GUILTY CA - Leila Fowler, 8, murdered, 12yo charged, Valley Springs, 27 Apr 2013 - #4

[vasportsmom]

As someone who did donate I would not have a problem with the family using that money to secure a new home, at the very least the other children deserve that much. However, I can see how the name of some of the fundraising efforts would make that iffy. The fact that funds were raised a number of ways and the stated purpose often varied (if only subtly) creates a grey area that legal counsel could perhaps best help the family navigate.

OTOH, if I were the parent if any of the remaining children I think I would have long since ran to court and made every attempt to get my child out of that situation.

 

[ThinkFirst]

When a home becomes a crime scene, the others who live there generally end up living in hotels/motels, eat out, and have to drive a lot. How long this takes will vary depending on the crime. Knowing this I wanted to donate a gas card. So I asked someone who knows the family if this is something that they could use. "Oh no no no, cash only and sent it to the bank in Lindon!" Wow ok, so I called Lindon bank and find out I need a subpoena to get name of who opened the account. That's fine but I had no idea what the funds were really for. That is my experience with donating to this situation.

 

[PoirotryInMotion]

ThinkFirst, thanks for posting. I noticed with the Spring Valley Fundraising group on Facebook that their more recent postings indicate that funds that have been donated will only be released in the form of gift cards or similarly designated 'specific' uses. I think this is wise.

*I have no idea if this is still (or ever was) connected to the Linden bank account opened that Monday morning.

 

[tlcya]

The donations are not being used for the defense or for the investigator hired by defense (which is probably a good thing, as it appears some who donated had issue with that). So...if the family's home has been made uninhabitable by the murder and investigation, and they have been uprooted, I don't understand why anybody would have an 'integrity' issue with them using some of the funds for moving expenses, maybe even first month's rent in a new rental. It's not like they went out and purchased a luxury yacht or went to Europe.

Reading this thread makes it clear there is a certain widely held impression of BF and CW and it is not a good one. When the impression is such, you can pretty much guarantee that there will be those who find fault if they use the donations for housing. MO strongly held O.

and yet P is a victim. IMO the Fowlers are not being treated as that.

 

[BeginnersLuck]

I don't think there is anything wrong with using the money to help with bare necessities such as a roof over their heads, utilities and food. These are needs for the children in the home. They didn't do anything wrong and certainly need to have their bare necessities taken care of if the parents are not able to meet these needs due to this tragic situation.

 

[Linda7NJ]

I don't think there is anything wrong with using the money to help with bare necessities such as a roof over their heads, utilities and food. These are needs for the children in the home. They didn't do anything wrong and certainly need to have their bare necessities taken care of if the parents are not able to meet these needs due to this tragic situation.

When I give, I give without strings. When I give, it's gone. I trust whoever I give to will use it as they see fit.


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[dinaslala]

I feel bad for the family if they are couch-hopping. To not have anyone who wants you to live with them has be extremely difficult. Especially for the kids. But with their $70k they got in donations, they could easily start renting a new place.

I wonder if they will set up separate households...I probably cannot reside with ANYONE younger than him...

 

[PoirotryInMotion]

Reading this thread makes it clear there is a certain widely held impression of BF and CW and it is not a good one. When the impression is such, you can pretty much guarantee that there will be those who find fault if they use the donations for housing. MO strongly held O.

and yet P is a victim. IMO the Fowlers are not being treated as that.

When I give, I give without strings. When I give, it's gone. I trust whoever I give to will use it as they see fit.

When the purpose of a fund isn't clearly designated, it can cause confusion and misunderstandings later. Especially a fund that has come about as the result of a sudden, tragic event which triggers that emotional giving response. People understandably do not want to feel 'played' after responding in deep emotion and giving in such a situation, even if they have given away money with 'no strings attached.' I think most of us who give do so with no strings attached, but probably most of us would also draw the line somewhere if we felt the original spirit of that gifting might be vulnerable to being abused--caution is just a natural part of responsible giving, IMO.

JMO, maybe, but I believe funds like this should be under the auspices of someone who is NOT family, and there should be openness and accountability regarding 1) who set up the fund, 2) how monies will be disbursed (blank check to family or checks written by a trustee of the account to a third party), and 3) what sort of fund it IS (will this donated money be a memorial fund, like setting up a scholarship in Leila's name, or will it be a 'benefit' fund for the family's immediate needs in the aftermath of the tragedy--burial and court costs, housing/moving needs, etc.). Either one is valid, IMO--but to prevent suspicion and/or misunderstandings, whatever it is should be clearly defined.

If safeguards were properly set up, a lot of specualtion/gossip could be nipped in the bud in situations like this. An ounce of prevention, and all that... :twocents:

 

[eileenhawkeye]

If IF had not been arrested...but instead an intruder was, would it then be okay for the family to use the money to start renting a new home? I just feel like any "outrage" that it would generate would be due to people not viewing the parents in the most positive light. Also, if an intruder had done it, it would be considered extremely taboo to criticize the parents. When people donated, what did they expect the money to be used for?

And if people have a problem with the parents using the money to start renting a new home, do they also have a problem with the parents using the donations to make up for lost wages? I don't know if Barney is back to work, but it wouldn't surprise me if he isn't. I haven't heard any outrage over the possibility of this...so what's the difference?

 

[vasportsmom]

If IF had not been arrested...but instead an intruder was, would it then be okay for the family to use the money to start renting a new home? I just feel like any "outrage" that it would generate would be due to people not viewing the parents in the most positive light. Also, if an intruder had done it, it would be considered extremely taboo to criticize the parents. When people donated, what did they expect the money to be used for?

And if people have a problem with the parents using the money to start renting a new home, do they also have a problem with the parents using the donations to make up for lost wages? I don't know if Barney is back to work, but it wouldn't surprise me if he isn't. I haven't heard any outrage over the possibility of this...so what's the difference?

I think you are probably right that the outrage is due to IF being arrested and not the actual distribution of the donations. I will admit that I do not view CW in a positive light at all and that reflects on BF because I feel that as the children's father he should have stepped up and stopped the bashing of their mother but I don't have a problem with them using the donations to secure a home and other necessities. There are other children involved and they deserve some semblance of normal and privacy.

 

[BeginnersLuck]

I wonder if they will set up separate households...I probably cannot reside with ANYONE younger than him...

I'm sorry but I'm so confused. I feel like I missed something. Was it stated that the family was having problems with living arrangements or are they just moving from the home where the crime was committed to another?

I'm also confused by your statement about I. I thought he was not being released.

 

[blue22]

From what little I've read, people were concerned about the money being used for IF's defense. Not concern about using it for housing, food, or necessities for the other children. They are victims also, and I really think people understand that.

A lot of the reactions to how the money is used, are just emotional reactions. I've read that so many people think BF and CW know something. Covered for him. lied for him, took money knowing he did it, etc. What I think is happening, is people are questioning their integrity and handling regarding everything, including the money.

 

[tlcya]

Thank you blue. I believe you just made my point.

 

[BeginnersLuck]

From what little I've read, people were concerned about the money being used for IF's defense. Not concern about using it for housing, food, or necessities for the other children. They are victims also, and I really think people understand that.

A lot of the reactions to how the money is used, are just emotional reactions. I've read that so many people think BF and CW know something. Covered for him. lied for him, took money knowing he did it, etc. What I think is happening, is people are questioning their integrity and handling regarding everything, including the money.

Thank you! I was just confused where the conversation started with the family not having a place to live. I haven't seen any indication that they don't have a new home that they have moved to. The courts IMO, would not release I to go home, especially since there are other children in the home. The attorneys will not state this is the case, because it will give the impression of I being guilty. I am not sure exactly how beneficial it will be for an attorney to be involved in a juvenile case. I will let the experts in that field that are here on WS's give their opinion. The only thing I would hope that a attorney could accomplish in this case is to see that I gets the best care available to reform him, so that when he is released he can live a healthy, productive life.

 

[blue22]

The only thing I would hope that a attorney could accomplish in this case is to see that I gets the best care available to reform him, so that when he is released he can live a healthy, productive life.

I so agree. If he is found guilty, he's out with almost his entire life ahead of him. For the sake of the public and his family, I hope something (anything!) can be done to change him. As much as I think certain kinds of people can't be reformed, my true hope is that IF can.

 

[eileenhawkeye]

I assume the family will settle down into a home eventually. I wonder if it will be in Valley Springs or somewhere else? When the local newspaper reports that the Fowlers have brought a home in X town, how will the residents react? How will their kids be treated when they go to school? Will parents not want their kids going over to the Fowler house? Will people in any town be weary of the family moving in because it means that IF will probably be living in their town too when he gets out?

 

[Linda7NJ]

Well one thing is clear... The family isn't scamming anyone. They have a DEAD child and the one standing accused is also theirs.

They have suffered a loss that's unimaginable...and the road ahead looks bleak for the 12 year old. No one would trade places with them for any amount of money. They have my unwavering sympathy.

I simply can't believe some people's reaction towards this family.


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[blue22]

Well one thing is clear... The family isn't scamming anyone. They have a DEAD child and the one standing accused is also theirs.

They have suffered a loss that's unimaginable...and the road ahead looks bleak for the 12 year old. No one would trade places with them for any amount of money. They have my unwavering sympathy.

I simply can't believe some people's reaction towards this family.


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I don't think anyone here...that I've noticed...thinks they are scamming. I have read that sentiment from people in Valley Springs, who did much of the donating. We were just talking about how it seems OTHER people are feeling about the donations. Not saying they are right, justifying, etc. Just commenting on sentiments that have been said numerous times.

It does not seem they made many friends there, and people were coming together simply for Leila. Sad, that they don't have any community supporting them. But, we didn't live there, so we don't know the impressions they left. It just seems people don't want to support them anymore. I do hope they have support elsewhere. Especially, the children. I worry for their futures, as well.

 

[vasportsmom]

I so agree. If he is found guilty, he's out with almost his entire life ahead of him. For the sake of the public and his family, I hope something (anything!) can be done to change him. As much as I think certain kinds of people can't be reformed, my true hope is that IF can.

This is why I wouldn't even object to some of the money going towards obtaining a real lawyer (not this LOLyer clown) for IF. He needs someone that will strongly advocate for him to be given the help that he needs. Like it or not, this child will be released back into the public and if he isn't treated in the meantime then he will likely come out worse than he went in. Denying IF the treatment that he needs and then releasing him to possibly harm another child is not justice for Leila. Using funds raised in her name to help her brother and protect other children would be a wonderful tribute to her.

 

[BeginnersLuck]

I assume the family will settle down into a home eventually. I wonder if it will be in Valley Springs or somewhere else? When the local newspaper reports that the Fowlers have brought a home in X town, how will the residents react? How will their kids be treated when they go to school? Will parents not want their kids going over to the Fowler house? Will people in any town be weary of the family moving in because it means that IF will probably be living in their town too when he gets out?

I still feel like I've missed something. How do we know they are not already living in a different home and they simply moved after the tragedy to another place?