CA CA - Maya Millete, 39, missed daughter's birthday, Chula Vista, 7 Jan 2021 #4 *husband arrested*

[Seattle1]

Speaking of domestic violence - anyone here seen "Maid" - it has 10 episodes. Just finished watching it.

I saw the preview and it looks good but not sure I can stomach it honestly.

I've not seen the series myself but I did read that the story was "fictionalized." Don't know if for the better or worse!

Former Washington resident Stephanie Land’s bestselling memoir inspires Netflix series ‘Maid’

 

[Curious Me]

Speaking of domestic violence - anyone here seen "Maid" - it has 10 episodes. Just finished watching it.

I saw you took my recommend, and watched and mentioned MAID. Number One favorable comment I have is the lead character took action fast and took precautions for her safety. She learned there were ways to leave a DV situation. She took on the work too.

Maya was married to LM a long time, and I don't think she realized she could not trust him to be mature or ever accept a divorce amicably. Not saying anybody did the wrong thing, or you can always avoid an obsessed, murderous abuser. However, there are people, shelters, and organizations that can give sound advice to a DV victim wanting to leave. So many lose their life trying to leave, so please, anything you can do for the safety of you and the children is worth looking into.

I ended up feeling that MAID the series was somewhat contrived to make the series more interesting... it was a good series, but I've followed so many cases here. Many of the DV cases we follow here, end badly and the victim doesn't always get the lucky breaks. MOO, we could take any one of all DV cases we follow here and find the same type story. Not embellished for a series either, but much worse, gut wrenching DV abuse that too often ends in murder. In this case we have the "spell casting" requests which really happened. That wasn't made up either.

 

[Curious Me]

Not saying any certain action could've saved Maya or anybody in a DV situation, just hoping more DV victims get away and survive to have a whole new safer life. MOO, in case you don't think you can do it alone, there are resources to help you get out safely. Good video included.

Domestic Violence Advocate Shares Thoughts on Case Against Larry Millete – NBC 7 San Diego (nbcsandiego.com)
"In the U.S., nearly 20 people suffer physical abuse from a partner every minute, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Data shows more than 20,000 calls are made every day to domestic violence hotlines across the country."

 

[imstilla.grandma]

The Filipino Resource Center will be hosting a Domestic Violence Forum along with San Diego County’s District Attorney Summer Stephan, Filipino American Law Enforcement Organization, the Filipino American Women’s Club, and others, on Nov. 1 from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. to speak on domestic violence and offer a wealth of support services.
Filipino Resource Center organizes domestic violence forum -

 

[rosesfromangels]

The Filipino Resource Center will be hosting a Domestic Violence Forum along with San Diego County’s District Attorney Summer Stephan, Filipino American Law Enforcement Organization, the Filipino American Women’s Club, and others, on Nov. 1 from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. to speak on domestic violence and offer a wealth of support services.
Filipino Resource Center organizes domestic violence forum -

Glad to see awareness and action. I would love to see awareness raised from the pulpit. DV is a national disgrace, and our religious leaders can do a great deal to raise awareness and provide support. Monitoring and accountability is a big part of a successful outcome.

Amateur opinion and speculation

 

[imstilla.grandma]

Victims of domestic violence can call the San Diego County Sheriff’s Department at (858) 565-5200. In an emergency, call 9-1-1. They can also call the San Diego County Domestic Violence 24-hour hotline 1-888-DVLINKS (385-4657) for emergency assistance or ongoing needs.
San Diego Fil-Am pleads not guilty to murder in wife’s stabbing —

Domestic Violence Restraining Orders | Superior Court of California - County of San Diego
Filipino language:
Domestic Violence Restraining Orders | Superior Court of California - County of San Diego

San Diego County Sheriff Hate Crime Info in Filipino Language
https://www.joinsdsheriff.net/home/showpublisheddocument/1786/637532117415970000

 

[PsychSnack]

Maya's husband 'withdrew large sums of money before arrest', lawyer says

 

[cvaldez1975]

Excellent, truthful post @Marysmith. I've been thinking hard on what steps Maya could've taken to get out safely, not be accused of deserting or leaving without the children, and still pull it off when she could go through a divorce safely. I know how it is and maybe just got lucky I got away alive. Emotions in divorce are super ugly and volatile. I have no idea how Maya could've done it because it looks almost impossible with someone like LM and all his family's involvement with the children too.
I want to acknowledge I definitely understand what you're saying. I feel horrible for Maya's situation too. By the time a woman is ready to leave, she's gathering her own defiance and strength and that can be a dangerous thing. Sometimes there's someone else she's involved with but not always. She just wants out. How long can she keep stuffing her own feelings away. Maya was absolutely a vibrant, light filled, exuberant woman.

Was she going to have to force herself to stay and put up with all LM's controlling, irrational behaviors until the children were grown? What you're saying is there's no guarantee either way staying or leaving that she'll be safe. Maya would've had to stay with LM another 14 yrs. for the youngest to be 18. LM was dangerous to live with for another 14 yrs.

I've talked about a case here mentioning the freezer. Elizabeth Sullivan went to see a divorce attorney the same day she disappeared. Once the plans get thrown out there in a volatile argument, it gets often deadly. So, hope I don't sound like a fool in believing a safe exit might be possible.

I don't have all the answers. Nothing I say may have saved Maya. I'm sure it's may not be possible to escape safely in some abusive relationships. (I've had my share.) It's following so many cases here and on the news that makes me want to suggest getting help planning a safe exit. There's professional people, counselors, and organizations that can help in the planning. You can try marriage counseling, and that may help determine if the spouse will be able to handle a divorce amicably. If it comes down to leaving a dangerous situation, then just don't flaunt your plans. Don't challenge a mad man. Everything should be kept on the "down low". Keep him in the dark and don't give him fuel or time to have his own nasty plans.

Please know this post is all MOO and thoughts.

my friend left an abusive relationship with a child. he was already utilizing the child as a tool to control. she had to show up at the house with a friend a week after leaving and basically kidnap her own child. she then spent the next week going house to house hiding until she was placed in a shelter with her child and got an attorney who advised her to stay hidden for 3 months at the shelter in order to establish residency in that county to hopefully circumvent a court order to force her to remain in the same county. she is still there. he is unable to serve her because she doesnt know where they are. his own mother gave her money for the retainer so that should tell u something. leaving abuse is a whole mess.

 

[Seattle1]

Maya's husband 'withdrew large sums of money before arrest', lawyer says

Has this info been cited by anyone other than Billy Little and the SUN? I'd like to read this from other sources before deciding if authorities acted when they did because they were concerned LM was about to flee. MOO

 

[Marysmith]

my friend left an abusive relationship with a child. he was already utilizing the child as a tool to control. she had to show up at the house with a friend a week after leaving and basically kidnap her own child. she then spent the next week going house to house hiding until she was placed in a shelter with her child and got an attorney who advised her to stay hidden for 3 months at the shelter in order to establish residency in that county to hopefully circumvent a court order to force her to remain in the same county. she is still there. he is unable to serve her because she doesnt know where they are. his own mother gave her money for the retainer so that should tell u something. leaving abuse is a whole mess.

It’s a huge mess… I’m so sorry for her and glad she was able to do that!

 

[Marysmith]

deleted by writer

 

[Seattle1]

I believe it was mentioned at the press conference as a reason for the arrest.

Confirming this was not mentioned by the DA during the presser. Also not cited in the AW dated 10/18/21.

 

[Marysmith]

Confirming this was not mentioned by the DA during the presser.

Ok sorry. I will delete my original message then.

 

[PsychSnack]

Has this info been cited by anyone other than Billy Little and the SUN? I'd like to read this from other sources before deciding if authorities acted when they did because they were concerned LM was about to flee. MOO

Absolutely. If I find anything, I will post

 

[ccargirl]

New to this forum - although not new to Maya's disappearance being from San Diego myself. I got to thinking today how large of a search area really needs to be focused on in trying to locate Maya. The DA stated LM was gone for about 11 hours. Conservatively this means he could have gone at least 300 miles away from home. This means possibly as far north as San Luis Obispo, as far south as El Crucero, and west / north west as far as Phoenix and Las Vegas. I shudder to imagine the immensity of that search grid. I looked back on my social media from the 8th - was at Cowles Mountain. How can we get folks from far and wide to take a look at their photos and social media posts from the 8th to see if they captured the vehicle or a possibly a picture of LM? Seeing as he said he went to the beach (albeit changed his mind about which one), I wonder if there is a shred of truth to that, and searches should focus on beach access. Or as I look at the map, what about Laguna Salada just south of the border. I know there were border restrictions, but they were loosely enforced from my understanding.

 

[Curious Me]

Victims of domestic violence can call the San Diego County Sheriff’s Department at (858) 565-5200. In an emergency, call 9-1-1. They can also call the San Diego County Domestic Violence 24-hour hotline 1-888-DVLINKS (385-4657) for emergency assistance or ongoing needs.
San Diego Fil-Am pleads not guilty to murder in wife’s stabbing —

Domestic Violence Restraining Orders | Superior Court of California - County of San Diego
Filipino language:
Domestic Violence Restraining Orders | Superior Court of California - County of San Diego

San Diego County Sheriff Hate Crime Info in Filipino Language
https://www.joinsdsheriff.net/home/showpublisheddocument/1786/637532117415970000

Thanks for posting all those links and resources.

Last week I posted about that shooting in a high rise on the
35th floor here. East Village shooting: Suspect in deadly SPIRE shooting identified (fox5sandiego.com) I'd heard briefly it involved a Filipina woman victim, but not sure the shooter was Filipino. The shooter was apprehended on the freeway with a five year old little girl in the car.

JMO, and venting now-- This case and several others makes me ask-- What is wrong with a man not being able to think about the children, only his own feelings and comfort level? I wonder if these men are brought up to believe they deserve everything going in their favor or else. They make that selfish decision. MOO, LM hurt and pretty much ruined his children's childhood. Kids can bounce back from divorce easier, and sometimes it really works out fine for the children. MOO, there's no going back when a parent gets killed by the other parent, and there's a long search and long legal case. I pray those children get counseling. I just needed to voice it, and it's JMO.

Filipino Resource Center organizes domestic violence forum - (kusi.com)
"Two acts of domestic violence have been recorded in San Diego this week — a double homicide involving a young Filipina in the East Village and the arrest of Larry Millete on suspicion of murdering his still-missing wife, Maya Millete."

 

[rosesfromangels]

LE should be able to get more valuable information out of the little boy than one would think. That's where I would focus my attention

Amateur opinion and speculation

 

[Curious Me]

LE should be able to get more valuable information out of the little boy than one would think. That's where I would focus my attention

Amateur opinion and speculation

Maya's 4 yr. old son might not be able to remember much from that day trip, if that's what you mean. He might have been given Benadryl or some drug to make him sleepy. I'd think the daughters can supply some details. Yes, any shred of info might help. Those poor children.

Makes me sick the way children are being used. That other case, the shooting I mentioned above, with the shooter having a five yr. old girl in the car when he was apprehended...

Downtown San Diego High-Rise Shooter Killed Wife, Friend: DA – NBC 7 San Diego (nbcsandiego.com)
"Ali vandalized the home in the Spire San Diego building in the East Village and and also installed an app on his daughter’s iPad that allowed him to monitor activity in apartment, according to prosecutors."

 

[Curious Me]

MOO, LM threw his life away over jealousy. Larry could not seem to accept Maya having a new life separate from him, and maybe someone else. Possession and jealousy drove him to go to such pitiful lengths to win her back. It was probably just too late, and then he carried it way too far.

Again, that other case, Downtown San Diego High-Rise Shooter Killed Wife, Friend: DA – NBC 7 San Diego (nbcsandiego.com) I'm watching the "JinnKid" on tiktok as mentioned in the news article. He had a comical talent in his skits, seems likable. There was a history of some DV though. Now he's facing life in prison. Jealousy. SMH

All MOO.

 

[cvaldez1975]

New to this forum - although not new to Maya's disappearance being from San Diego myself. I got to thinking today how large of a search area really needs to be focused on in trying to locate Maya. The DA stated LM was gone for about 11 hours. Conservatively this means he could have gone at least 300 miles away from home. This means possibly as far north as San Luis Obispo, as far south as El Crucero, and west / north west as far as Phoenix and Las Vegas. I shudder to imagine the immensity of that search grid. I looked back on my social media from the 8th - was at Cowles Mountain. How can we get folks from far and wide to take a look at their photos and social media posts from the 8th to see if they captured the vehicle or a possibly a picture of LM? Seeing as he said he went to the beach (albeit changed his mind about which one), I wonder if there is a shred of truth to that, and searches should focus on beach access. Or as I look at the map, what about Laguna Salada just south of the border. I know there were border restrictions, but they were loosely enforced from my understanding.

all your points are good ones. to add, i think wherever he left her he was at the site for a little while because he was probably trying to conceal her. i think driving across the border w a body is a huge risk though, they can randomly wave you over.