Woe.be.gone
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Those that enable are just as disturbed as the sociopaths they enable. And even more frustrating to be around. At least sociopaths are charming when they want something. My experience with enablers is that they are strong willed go-getters that have the tact of bull-dozers.
I know an elderly couple that kept on lending their sociopath son money for grandiose schemes until they went bankrupt and the farm that had been in the family for generations ended up sold at a sheriff's auction. But, still the couple defended their thieving son and went to all of their friends to try to get money for their son's defense. The son shot himself on the day he was supposed to turn himself in. The elderly father died soon after that. The elderly mother lives with her DIL (my aunt) and is every bit as strong and untruthful in her defense of her son as Cindy Anthony.
The other enabler that I know in real life is my father-in-law. His son, my brother-in-law, has never, ever, suffered a single consequence for ANYTHING bad he has done because my father-in-law buys his way out. My brother-in-law is over 50 years old and last week my father-in-law gave $12K to my BIL's victim to keep the victim from going to authorities. My father-in-law pretends to be dumb and says he believes everything my brother-in-law says.
The enablers I know have things in common with Cindy:
They don't steal, nor would they.I can look at the enablers and see how the spoiled-rotten sociopaths I know came about. But, I am having a huge problem seeing how the enablers that are so successful in so many other parts of their lives can be so obsessive about their little sociopaths?
They lie.
They are highly organized in their own lives. Cindy's house kept her house neat as a pin...something not easy to do when have the worries of a deathly ill father, marital woes, a thieving husband and daughter, a full-time job and a toddler with thousands of toys to strew.
They are goal oriented and high achievers. The enablers I know and Cindy Anthony all finished college. They did outstandingly well at work and had stable, even exemplary, work histories.
They are strong people (you might say dominating control-freaks).
They are perfectionists.
They go weak at the knees and cave at the thought of their spoiled child being upset. My 50+ aged brother-in-law still throws tantrums and I've never seen my father-in-law do anything back except cringe and wheedle.
I do disagree with all who say Cindy did not love Casey and Caylee. My father-in-law is a brave war hero who has and would again sacrifice his life for others. I've seen the tears and grief over what his son is. Cindy looks equally defeated. But, my father-in-law, despite swearing every time he is going to harden his heart, can't stop enabling. He is like a gerbil running uselessly on his wheel.
I think the enablers are like that due to their need to control things and other people. They can't let go because they own everybody and everything. They are the center and have big egos. Because they are bright and successful they often can fix things. They keep very busy and may not ever make time for self reflection - everyone needs them too much.