Crystal S., Haleigh's mother #7

[kiki the parrot]

I find it interesting the double standard that seems to exist re the legitimacy of depression It seems no such allowance or concession is ever granted for CS :waitasec: however we should remember one need not have specifically lost a child in order to suffer from depression. As others have tried to point out, there are multiple causes of depression (even clinical) including postpartum risk factor that was mentioned but also physical, verbal and/or emotional abuse (past and/or present), major life events (deaths, divorce, relocation and other losses), isolation, conflicts, medications, genetics, illness eg (to name just a few). In the interest of fairness, just think we need to be consistent in whether we view depression as legit. JMO

arrot:

 

[nomoresorrow]

(BB NMS)

I find it interesting the double standard that seems to exist re the legitimacy of depression It seems no such allowance or concession is ever granted for CS :waitasec: however we should remember one need not have specifically lost a child in order to suffer from depression. As others have tried to point out, there are multiple causes of depression (even clinical) including postpartum risk factor that was mentioned but also physical, verbal and/or emotional abuse (past and/or present), major life events (deaths, divorce, relocation and other losses), isolation, conflicts, medications, genetics, illness eg (to name just a few). In the interest of fairness, just think we need to be consistent in whether we view depression as legit. JMO

arrot:

In my opinion, the non-allowance/concession by some in Crystal's case has nothing to do whatsoever with any lack of understanding/education about depression - the inconsistency issue in this case, sadly, appears to me to be a female-toward-female issue, as the saying's go; "women are their own worst enemies", "women can be vicious to other women" . . .

Frankly another "inconsistency" that stumps me in this case is the lack of compassion & understanding toward Crystal, especially in context of her age and her upbringing, in reference to her not having primary custody of HaLeigh & Jr. and yet TN's escapes any criticism for essentially abandoning her own children - go figure. Even she (TN's) holds herself above Crystal and casts stones - stones that, would if they could, come right back around and hit her - as long as there's only one finger pointing at her while the other four are pointing at Crystal, her four fingers win out; people who live in glass houses . . . JMO

My opinions are just that; my opinions only - they do reflect upon anyone else . . . JMO

 

[Skully]

I agree that woman can be cruel to other woman, especially if the woman they target is a younger, attractive woman. I have seen older woman and woman not so attractive be down right mean to other woman. JMHO

 

[nomoresorrow]

I agree that woman can be cruel to other woman, especially if the woman they target is a younger, attractive woman. I have seen older woman and woman not so attractive be down right mean to other woman. JMHO

I have too Bern and as a woman who has worked in a supervisory capacity, I've nipped it in the bud many times over the years in the workplace - it's an insult to all women, IMO of course.

JMO

 

[stilettos]

(BB NMS)


In my opinion, the non-allowance/concession by some in Crystal's case has nothing to do whatsoever with any lack of understanding/education about depression - the inconsistency issue in this case, sadly, appears to me to be a female-toward-female issue, as the saying's go; "women are their own worst enemies", "women can be vicious to other women" . . .

Frankly another "inconsistency" that stumps me in this case is the lack of compassion & understanding toward Crystal, especially in context of her age and her upbringing, in reference to her not having primary custody of HaLeigh & Jr. and yet TN's escapes any criticism for essentially abandoning her own children - go figure. Even she (TN's) holds herself above Crystal and casts stones - stones that, would if they could, come right back around and hit her - as long as there's only one finger pointing at her while the other four are pointing at Crystal, her four fingers win out; people who live in glass houses . . . JMO

My opinions are just that; my opinions only - they do reflect upon anyone else . . . JMO

Brilliantly astute post :clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:

You said all that I have thought all these months and said it so well.

 

[kiki the parrot]

(BB NMS)
In my opinion, the non-allowance/concession by some in Crystal's case has nothing to do whatsoever with any lack of understanding/education about depression - the inconsistency issue in this case, sadly, appears to me to be a female-toward-female issue, as the saying's go; "women are their own worst enemies", "women can be vicious to other women" . . .

Frankly another "inconsistency" that stumps me in this case is the lack of compassion & understanding toward Crystal, especially in context of her age and her upbringing, in reference to her not having primary custody of HaLeigh & Jr. and yet TN's escapes any criticism for essentially abandoning her own children - go figure. Even she (TN's) holds herself above Crystal and casts stones - stones that, would if they could, come right back around and hit her - as long as there's only one finger pointing at her while the other four are pointing at Crystal, her four fingers win out; people who live in glass houses . . . JMO

My opinions are just that; my opinions only - they do reflect upon anyone else . . . JMO

(bbm) Just waxing diplomatic trying to give my fellow posters the benefit of the doubt not really presuming why the inconsistency is there, merely pointing out that it is. :biggrin: I'm sure there are many contributing factors to the lack of both consistency and compassion.

arrot:

 

[TxLady2]

I find it interesting the double standard that seems to exist re the legitimacy of depression It seems no such allowance or concession is ever granted for CS :waitasec: however we should remember one need not have specifically lost a child in order to suffer from depression. As others have tried to point out, there are multiple causes of depression (even clinical) including postpartum risk factor that was mentioned but also physical, verbal and/or emotional abuse (past and/or present), major life events (deaths, divorce, relocation and other losses), isolation, conflicts, medications, genetics, illness eg (to name just a few). In the interest of fairness, just think we need to be consistent in whether we view depression as legit. JMO

arrot:

You are exactly correct!! Great post, btw!

 

[TxLady2]

(BB NMS)


In my opinion, the non-allowance/concession by some in Crystal's case has nothing to do whatsoever with any lack of understanding/education about depression - the inconsistency issue in this case, sadly, appears to me to be a female-toward-female issue, as the saying's go; "women are their own worst enemies", "women can be vicious to other women" . . .

Frankly another "inconsistency" that stumps me in this case is the lack of compassion & understanding toward Crystal, especially in context of her age and her upbringing, in reference to her not having primary custody of HaLeigh & Jr. and yet TN's escapes any criticism for essentially abandoning her own children - go figure. Even she (TN's) holds herself above Crystal and casts stones - stones that, would if they could, come right back around and hit her - as long as there's only one finger pointing at her while the other four are pointing at Crystal, her four fingers win out; people who live in glass houses . . . JMO

My opinions are just that; my opinions only - they do reflect upon anyone else . . . JMO

Good post!! You are probably right.
Might I add also that some of the lack of compassion and understanding could also stem from the fact that some view her as a deadbeat mom, a mom who lost custody of her kids and didn't fight for them. I've seen this in the outside world too, when it's known that a mother lost custody.... "oh, there has to be a good reason, judges don't award custody to the father unless the mother is unfit." These are the kind of comments I've seen, not here, but in real life.
I can understand and respect their opinions even while I don't agree with them, but at the same time I don't understand making excuses for Ron and never affording Crystal the same consideration. It's mind boggling. I'm a woman, but I sympathize with any woman who has had to go through what she has. Guess that's just me!

 

[kamky]

I think that counseling would be helpful for Jr., as this poor child has been through so much. The counselors are going to have to be very careful what they say, though. There have been some very high profile cases (McMartin School case in California, the Wee Care case in NJ) where someone was convicted of abuse of children but it was later overturned because the children's testimony was determined to be affected by suggestions implanted by the counselors.
I hope this wouldn't cause any problems in the future for prosecutors in a case against whoever has taken Haleigh. (e.g., with defense claims that Jr's testimony has been tainted by the counseling.)

 

[nomoresorrow]

I think that counseling would be helpful for Jr., as this poor child has been through so much. The counselors are going to have to be very careful what they say, though. There have been some very high profile cases (McMartin School case in California, the Wee Care case in NJ) where someone was convicted of abuse of children but it was later overturned because the children's testimony was determined to be affected by suggestions implanted by the counselors.
I hope this wouldn't cause any problems in the future for prosecutors in a case against whoever has taken Haleigh. (e.g., with defense claims that Jr's testimony has been tainted by the counseling.)

I think that's an excellent idea as well kamky. Much has been learned since the McMartin case - unfortunately that cannot undo the damage done to all of the victims involved - adults and children alike. Being that it is an extremely touchy situation right now, just having a neutral place to go where Jr. could simply interact at his own leisure (happen naturally) without a therapist having an agenda or expectation of any disclosures from him. I've had the opportunity to sit in on a "sand play" session and it was such great fun that I joined in too. It's a great "de-stressor" for children (and apparently adults alike . . . lol) and it's wonderful to hear children, who come from some extremely traumatic situations, just spontaneously laugh from their bellies -you can't help but laugh yourself when you hear it (infectious) and before you know it, everyone is laughing so hard that the tears are just streaming down everyone's faces. I'd love for Jr. to be able to experience that even if only for an hour once a week - a place where nobody talks bad about his Mommy or his Daddy - a place where he doesn't feel like he has to take sides - a place where he can just be a kid!! Bless his little heart :blowkiss:

JMO

 

[TxLady2]

I think that's an excellent idea as well kamky. Much has been learned since the McMartin case - unfortunately that cannot undo the damage done to all of the victims involved - adults and children alike. Being that it is an extremely touchy situation right now, just having a neutral place to go where Jr. could simply interact at his own leisure (happen naturally) without a therapist having an agenda or expectation of any disclosures from him. I've had the opportunity to sit in on a "sand play" session and it was such great fun that I joined in too. It's a great "de-stressor" for children (and apparently adults alike . . . lol) and it's wonderful to hear children, who come from some extremely traumatic situations, just spontaneously laugh from their bellies -you can't help but laugh yourself when you hear it (infectious) and before you know it, everyone is laughing so hard that the tears are just streaming down everyone's faces. I'd love for Jr. to be able to experience that even if only for an hour once a week - a place where nobody talks bad about his Mommy or his Daddy - a place where he doesn't feel like he has to take sides - a place where he can just be a kid!! Bless his little heart :blowkiss:

JMO

I very much agree with you! He needs some time away from the stress and the tension that is bound to surround the family.
Too often when parents are going through difficult times, they forget that the little ones are feeling it, perhaps moreso than they are. I hope and pray that his emotional well-being is considered, that they don't sit around and talk about this in front of him, and they don't let their frustrations and anxiety rub off on him. I hope and pray that all of them realize that he is hurting too... he misses his Sissy and he feels alone and insecure. No telling what is going through his little mind right now. He does need therapy... not merely to pick his brain, just to help him deal with the loss of his sister, and the things that have evolved since then.
Bless his little heart.. I fear that this will probably affect him in ways that could not even be apparent right now, but will show up later on in life.

 

[badme102]

With every passing day, my heart breaks more and more for Haleigh's Mom, Crystal. With Haleigh's birthday coming up, this has got to be the most heart wrenching feeling to ever experience.

I will continue to pray for Crystal and JR, so that they may somehow find the strength to get through each agonizing day without sweet little Haleigh with them where she belongs.
Haleigh needs to be home with her Mama and Butterbean.

 

[Crosby87]

I don't know if I am overreacting but I wouldn't feel at peace if I was Crystal having to return Ronnie Jr to Ron's care after knowing what transpired over the past week between the Croslin and Cummings families. I suggested on Ron Cummings thread that if I was in Crystal's shoes, I would file an emergency custody hearing now and state my reasons for wanting to temporary custody of Ron Jr. I personally would file for temporary custody until Ron's recent charge is resolved through the courts. I haven't heard what Crystal's reaction was to these current circumstances but I feel she should have been notified shortly after the incident because it does affect her son and because of the current animosity mounting between the families, I think it is imperative of her to contest the custody order to SECURE Ronnie from being harmed if he gets in the way wanting to protect his father or someone else.

 

[Patty G]

WARNING TO ALL!​

Check your attitudes at the door before entering this forum. Enough is enough already!​

 

[texasmommy39]

IMVHO The inability to get beyond the drama and focus on the crime and who had motive and ability is why Haleigh has still not been found. Crystal did have a motive and did have the opportunity and ability to pull this off with the help of her family. She has clearly abstructed the search for her child with all the media drama she and her family have allowed. She has benifited from Haleighs abduction to the extent of no current or future childsupport payments owed for Haleigh till found. She recieved a donation that paid $12,000 in back childsupport and now is current. She has recieved an undetermined amount of money that has been donated to fund searches to find Haleigh and no searches have been conducted. The sale of T-shirts and Arm braclets had to been lucritive and I still have not seen anything that accounts for the use of those donated funds to search for Haleigh. The only one to gain from Haleighs abduction is Crystal and she has.
I would also like to remind us of who has a history of lying and who has lied since this drama began? Inconsistancies are not lies or they would be called lies not inconsistancies. LE has stated the are satisfied with Rons alibi and they do not consider misty as a suspect.
ETA: LE also have cleared the A/C man and the RSO within 5 miles and Misty's cousin.

 

[Malesherbes]

IMVHO The inability to get beyond the drama and focus on the crime and who had motive and ability is why Haleigh has still not been found. Crystal did have a motive and did have the opportunity and ability to pull this off with the help of her family. She has clearly abstructed the search for her child with all the media drama she and her family have allowed. She has benifited from Haleighs abduction to the extent of no current or future childsupport payments owed for Haleigh till found. She recieved a donation that paid $12,000 in back childsupport and now is current. She has recieved an undetermined amount of money that has been donated to fund searches to find Haleigh and no searches have been conducted. The sale of T-shirts and Arm braclets had to been lucritive and I still have not seen anything that accounts for the use of those donated funds to search for Haleigh. The only one to gain from Haleighs abduction is Crystal and she has.
I would also like to remind us of who has a history of lying and who has lied since this drama began? Inconsistancies are not lies or they would be called lies not inconsistancies. LE has stated the are satisfied with Rons alibi and they do not consider misty as a suspect.
ETA: LE also have cleared the A/C man and the RSO within 5 miles and Misty's cousin.

Yeah, but its not true that Crystal is the only one who is gaining anything, Ron got tattoos, he obviously must be ok on the donation front considering he hasn't worked in months- Crystal could have just went to court and paid something or set up a schedule to get on track with support, I am not sure committing kidnapping is the answer, you will get way more time in jail for that.

Does anyone know if Crystal knew Rons work hours,work days, and where he worked? I just dont get the impression Ron and Crystal were close and shared those details with each other.

jmo

Do you have any idea why Ronald never pushed the courts for child support all those years?

 

[kamky]

Yeah, but its not true that Crystal is the only one who is gaining anything, Ron got tattoos, he obviously must be ok on the donation front considering he hasn't worked in months- Crystal could have just went to court and paid something or set up a schedule to get on track with support, I am not sure committing kidnapping is the answer, you will get way more time in jail for that.

Does anyone know if Crystal knew Rons work hours,work days, and where he worked? I just dont get the impression Ron and Crystal were close and shared those details with each other.

jmo

Do you have any idea why Ronald never pushed the courts for child support all those years?

- I doubt that Ron's tattoos were worth anywhere near $12,000 and at that time, he supposedly still had a job.

- Crystal was seriously in arrears and had no job so would have probably had a hard time time even meeting a pay schedule. I don't think she kidnapped her own child, but saving Crystal from jail certainly could have been a valid motive for someone who knew her.

- My hubby and I knew every detail of his ex's life from my 3, 5, and 7 year old stepkids, and I'm sure she knew every detail of ours. I suspect that Haleigh would have been a chatterbox also.

 

[texasmommy39]

I just read the information at the link twice and I didn't read where the previous attorney's of RC came right out and stated that they believed Haleigh was abducted by the Sheffield family. I did however read some interesting info that I am now hopeful about. I previously thought that Haleigh might have been abducted from a sex offender.....either known or not known by the Cummings household. However, after reading the info at link I think there may be a small chance that a family member abducted Haleigh. Crystal's father lived close by Haleigh and with the recent contempt hearing that was supposed to take place in the very week that Haleigh went missing perhaps there is ...even a slim to none chance that Crystal's dad would try to make the contempt hearing...moot. If this is the case I sincerely do not believe that Crystal Sheffield has a clue that this might be what happened. I do not see her emotions as faked. She seems like a hurting parent.

I find myself wondering if perhaps Crystals father might have thought back in time to the day when RC "supposedly" stole the children from Crystal and took them to his out of state job or vacation or whatever and then never returned them. Did he think he might be able to accomplish what many people feel RC did? Who knows. Is it possible. Perhaps. Maybe someone never dreamed that this case would draw so much nationwide attention. After all when RC decided bot to return the kids to Crystal....no-one paid much attention to that.

My suspicions are as follows

Sex Offender abduction....75%...not necessarily a stranger
Familial abduction unknown to Crystal....5%
the other 15%....I just don't know. I must say I really hope that there is a chance Haleigh is still alive. This would be a modern day miracle and even though I am a stranger to these people I might throw a party if Haleigh makes it home.


How come Johnny lives in Satsuma still? I take it he is divorced from Marie. Geez I never looked at this side of things so please pardon my silly questions.

Good morning elle1919,
IMO It is hard for me not to come to the conclusion that Crystal knew from the very begining what happened to HaLeigh and who if not Crystal herself, took Haleigh. The fact that she waited to call Johnny till 5am is a good indicator to ME that something was not right with this delay and her reason given was she assumed it was a prank and then later admitted that she knew it was not a prank. The idea to take pictures of HaLeighs school injuries in November with step mom Connie Sheffield and to hold on to them for future aligations of abuse knowing they where not seems a little premeditated if indeed they anticipated a reason to bring these forth to accuse Ron. I will continue to state this windfall of oppertunity and resources is not just an eveyday result of a child abduction. The need to be groomed by an attorney and allowed the medias attention to portray herself as a victim and superceding HaLeigh's need to be found can only add to the fact that Crystals motives are to finish what someone started so to speak. I can not count how many times Crystal has used the time in front of a camera at the benifit to herself instead of HaLeigh's. Heck the very day she was told that LE was looking in a dumpster she was ranting to the media about her inconvienant Dr. appointment and LE hunting her down after she was notified and was unable to be found for DNA samples and how she was upset that a rumors about her where going around that she was hiding. She even ranted to TJHart at the HBH about bloggers talking bad about her and not once did she mention HaLeighs name as she sat on that couch inside the very place that was a platform to find HaLeigh not a rant and pitty party venue for poor Crystal.
YouTube - WSKY-FM TJ Hart Checks In With Haleigh Cummings Mother Crystal Sheffield
I have found countless misspoken words come out of Crystals mouth that would refer to some previouse knowledge about the crime and even a suspicious answer. (not what you say but how you say it) take a look for yourself.
YouTube - Haleigh Cummings Mother & Grandmother - CFLNewschat.com
All of the above statements are my opinions.

 

[Malesherbes]

I just cant even hate Crystal because she did not fall on the ground sobbing while they searched the dumpster, I am sure there was a bit of shock-

When people die and the family has to go make the arrangements, the funeral directors have to repeat things sometimes over and over again because its so surreal and some just have a hard time grasping and paying attention-

Do the roads down there have like the paypass stuff? Is it possible to drive from Crystals to Rons without paying tolls?

And once again, is there any proof Crystal knew of Rons hours and the days he worked, because that is important to know and could indicate involvement, but I haven't seen it.

jmo

 

[lil momma]

I keep seeing posts that say CS was behind in child support for 12K, did i miss a news report on this? I am asking b/c i thought she owed $4100 and that was paid by a donor... maybe someone can help me out? i have searched for links but can't seem to find them...BTW - TIA (i love using this, now that i know what it means...lol)