This is the last time I'm going to talk about RL and his (alleged by me and many others) alcoholism. I have grown up with a family of several functioning alcoholics. You'll never see them stumbling down the road with a brown bag in their hands, they run successful businesses, have long lasting marriages and have sent their children to college. They've never beaten or murdered anyone or been arrested for any violent crimes. But they have driven drunk. MANY times. I am not, nor have I ever been, okay with that. These are people I love dearly. One of them is my 73 year old uncle. I can promise you he drives intoxicated at least 3 times a week. The other is his 58 year old brother. The 58 year old is the same. They own a business together and finish each day at the "north office" aka the bar down the street from their shop. Sometimes "meetings" in the north office can last hours, yet they drive. (And that's a whole other discussion, but for clarification no one condones this.) Of the two of them, only one has ever gotten a DUI one time. He still drives. This is years of them drinking and driving and not getting caught. My point here is that RL probably didn't get his three DUIs the only three times he drove drunk. He probably drives drunk A LOT and those were three times he got nabbed. My uncles are pillars of the community, well liked and respected and actually two of the biggest hearted men I know. They would literally give the shirt off their backs. Alcoholism transcends race, sex, religion, background, education, and just about every other category. I am of the opinion the RL had absolutely nothing to do with this case other than the bodies being found on his property. But I 100% believe he is an alcoholic. I don't think that makes him a terrible person. I think it makes him a sick person. Alcoholism is an illness. That's all. It's ok that we don't all agree.
Your post confuses me; you start out by talking about your family members who drink and drive and compare that with RL's penchant for drinking and driving.
Fair comment indeed.
Then you start to discuss alcoholism into the mix. But why?
Someone who finishes the day at the bar does not make them an alcoholic.
Now if you have other reasons to believe that this habit is related to other red flags of alcoholism then I understand that:
i.e.,
Do they drink first think in the morning, drink on the job, miss work, perform their job poorly, drink when no one's looking, drink in secret, are they unable to stop?
Believe me when I say in many countries, people go to bars and pubs after a day's work, and there is nothing in that. I live in France, everyone drinks wine and Pastis daily, believe me. These people, in general, are not alcoholics.
Drinking and driving, absolutely abhorrent. Going for drinks after work, even daily, does not make you an alcoholic. We call it going for "sundowners."
And from the way you lovingly describe your family members,
unless you could give evidences to the contrary (see questions), which I would not expect you to share, then I would ask you to reconsider your thinking of them as alcoholics. You describe them as pillars of the community, which I have no doubt they are. What they are is foolish and
dangerous but that is a far cry from alcoholism.
Sorry if I offend, it is not my intention. You sound like you love your family dearly. IMO
