I wonder the same thing.
I got out. Barely. But I now have the gift of hindsight. It took me YEARS to get my head straight after that horrific experience. Today I am shocked, horrified and ashamed of the behavior and treatment I accepted as almost NORMAL at that time. The names he called me were so vile, not to mention the other horrible stuff he did to me. But it shows me how easy it is to become conditioned to accept this type of behavior.
Good for you that you found the strength to get out of your abusive marriage. I had an emotionally abusive boyfriend years ago when I was young. I really thought I could change him, but sadly I wasted several years fighting an uphill battle before I ended it for good. Having been there myself, I completely understand how women can fall prey to these kind of men.