You're preaching to the choir, Alix! :biggrin: Lots of DV survivors here tend to view Travis as a victim in a stereotypical abusive relationship and Jodi the abuser.
Initially, as a DV survivor, Jodi had my compassion. But also as a DV survivor I was able to compare my experiences against hers (therapy, research and volunteer work as well with many other survivors). For me there were many things that didn't quite fit with well-established patterns of abusive relationships and very common markers in most abusive personalities were missing for Travis. However, not every case is the same and both victims as well as abusers can vary somewhat. The more I saw the more made me question. I've compiled a list of what caused me to question her account and ultimately discount it. Some of the list is derived from trial testimony and evidence - it just bolsters the opinion I already had formed by Day Two. The list, in its entirety, is at total odds with everything I personally know about abusive relationships.
- Moved to the city of her abuser, a 10 minute drive from his house, 5 months after their 'official' breakup.
- Slashed his tires.
- 'Snooped' through his online social networking accounts.
- Checking his phone texts.
- Warning prospective girlfriends away.
- Gaining entry to his home without his knowledge or permission.
- Was accused of stealing his journals.
- Knew, upon questioning, his ATM and garage pin numbers.
- Was encouraged by Travis to date other people.
- Showed elements of manipulation and gaslighting during their recorded phone call.
- She recorded said phone call presumably without Travis' knowledge.
- Her blog, begun after his, eerily resembles his. Her Myspace is almost identical to his. Her trackable online history shows a pervasive pattern of 'following' him online for several weeks prior to his murder.
- She told no one of the abuse until she apparently called her mother to ask for help and even told her why - IN FRONT of Travis.
- Photographic evidence of nudity and named underwear but absolutely nothing to account for the supposed violence he inflicted. (I'm an EA survivor so I believe there can be abuse without 'evidence' of it - but I can't reconcile having evidence geared to make Travis look bad while lacking it to support her claims.)
- The beginning of their relationship, according to Jodi's testimony, is wholly and entirely inconsistent with every single abusive relationship with which I am familiar. To hear her tell it there was no Prince Charming persona and no escalation of violence precipitated with EA. He was violent from nearly the very beginning.
- No attempt on Travis' part that I am able to discern at seeking to make the relationship more permanent. A cornerstone of abuse.
- No attempt on Travis' part to actually isolate Jodi...but Jodi using sex to manipulate Travis ensured he couldn't seek advice from friends and family.
- Jodi changed her religion to Travis' before the relationship even became official.
- The abuse escalated very quickly for a relationship of only months - too quickly I feel, lacking the security necessary to inflict abuse.
- She has used every common buzzword in testimony and showed aspects of quite literally every abuse on the Power and Control Wheel.
Power and Control Wheel
- The phone sex recording shows, proves, Travis was questioning whether they should be having sex. It also proves Jodi manipulated his concerns rather than validating them.
- She lived 1000 miles away from her 'abuser' and was still unable, apparently, to come out of the fog.
- Literally hundreds of online accounts of Travis' from acquaintances, co-workers, friends and family have shown me nothing to substantiate the controlling behaviors of an abusive personality. In fact, quite the opposite. I believe he was a sweet, generous, funny guy just trying to find his place in the world who met evil itself.
So sorry, peeps, for the length of this. Jodi's false claims of abuse is something that truly ruffles my feathers. :blushing: