Found Deceased KS - Lucas Hernandez, 5, Wichita, 17 Feb 2018 #15 *Arrest*

[DakotaMayi]

New graphic is up courtesy of our very talented RMT :heartbeat:

 

[WillenFan21]

Good morning! Here is to hoping that today is the day we get answers.❤️


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[Teche]

I am so sorry for your loss! Hugs.

I lost my son to suicide right before Lucas went missing. I come everyday to check on Lucas. I need him to come home to his family. My son is gone, but we have his body. I’d go totally crazy if we didn’t. I need Lucas to come home...

 

[DakotaMayi]

posted the link to the FB page 9 days ago. We now have 1,240 followers over there - in 9 days! And today is only just getting started. That's a whole lot of reach for each post:

 

[chihuahua]

Ya'll are rocking over there and the number of members is so encouraging.

:takeabow:

 

[SassynOz]

I finally came out of lurking over this case. It has been killing me to watch this all unfold. I’m in a town small that surrounds Wichita. Their local news is the same as ours , we have to go there weekly for shopping or drs ect.

This case has haunted me like no other. See my family is in a very similar situation. I still have a child of my own at home and grown children. My oldest child as become a person I don’t even know anymore. Drugs got her and I can’t help her. God knows I tried. She was at one point the best mom I was so proud of her. But she got addicted and became another person. Her first child is in the costody of her ex. But she had another child younger. This child wasn’t yet to my knowlage physically abused. But was certainly neglected. I feared what would happen .She rarely even had the baby except to play “mommy” once in awhile but I lived in fear when she rarely had the baby what was happening . She pretty much just left the baby shortly after the baby turned 1 with us. But we had no rights we couldn’t not give the child to her when she would come around a make demands that we do this or that or she was taking said baby. Many times she’d go months with no contact show up and just take the child we had no rights to withold the child from her. The father was involved but had no legal rights to child either. He couldn’t get any either without mom agreeing. Kansas laws really suck in that area but that’s another story.

Dcfs sure they were called on her several times due to drug activity at her place the people guys etc she’s lived with. But the child was never present when things happened or they showed up. The child was with me. So they would follow up come to my home and tell me that had if the child been there in care when they were there they would of been removed the child. But since baby wasn’t they had nothing no case on her. They said do your best to keep baby out of that situation as in try to talk her out of taking baby for visits etc. although she was the only one who had rights so the child was kind of screwed. They said the other options I had was to let the child go to her. And eventually hopefully sooner then later they would catch up with her a remove the child. I could then most likely be awarded guardian. But there was a risk on what would happen before they got another call to the place. I honestly feared waiting for that to happen would cause so much damage possibly even be to late.

The other option was to simply file for guardian ship which would give us all legal rights to said child. With the bonus of a 3rd party guardian or custody given would not include having to give her any parenting time visits etc. it’s all up to the guardian to make those decisions. But it’s not a easy thing to do in Kansas. And it’s expensive and I would totally lose my own child( meaning the baby’s mom) by doing this and if we lost we most likely never see the child we’ve have for at this point over half the child life. But things were getting bad the child was returned always sick dirty , we started to worry she was drugging baby maybe even abusing baby by late January.

Then Lucus’s story broke. I saw my grandchild in this senerio. My daughter was doing the same weird behaviors I saw play out in the characters of Lucus. She even had the shady live in boy friend. I cried for the family of Lucas I knew how close I was to becoming them. His grandma who’s hands were tied etc. something in me changed and I couldn’t let this now almost 3 year be the “next Lucas” the next child failed by Kansas dcfs.

but we had to at least try. Lucas’s case pushed that clear in my mind. We retained a lawyer and got emergacies orders to protect the child . Our case came up last week. I knew it was a huge chance we were taking. But we were granted full legal guardianship / custody of this child. We don’t have to even let his mother see him. Which we want her to clean up and be a parent. Someday I pray. But we got the paperwork this week. Giving us the degree of guardianship certificates. The final ruling from the judge was not one I expected. Usually they say parent is unable / unstable etc. but due to circumtances and evidence they obtained , probably from the lawyer for the child which we don’t know that part is sealed. They ruled my daughter unfit . Which means it’s going to be a rough road for her to ever get this child back. I wish god I wish the outcome for Lucas had a happy ending. But I’ll never forget Lucas his case was the trigger to save another child.

So sorry for the length

 

[DakotaMayi]

I finally came out of lurking over this case. It has been killing me to watch this all unfold. I’m in a town small that surrounds Wichita. Their local news is the same as ours , we have to go there weekly for shopping or drs ect.

This case has haunted me like no other. See my family is in a very similar situation. I still have a child of my own at home and grown children. My oldest child as become a person I don’t even know anymore. Drugs got her and I can’t help her. God knows I tried. She was at one point the best mom I was so proud of her. But she got addicted and became another person. Her first child is in the costody of her ex. But she had another child younger. This child wasn’t yet to my knowlage physically abused. But was certainly neglected. I feared what would happen .She rarely even had the baby except to play “mommy” once in awhile but I lived in fear when she rarely had the baby what was happening . She pretty much just left the baby shortly after the baby turned 1 with us. But we had no rights we couldn’t not give the child to her when she would come around a make demands that we do this or that or she was taking said baby. Many times she’d go months with no contact show up and just take the child we had no rights to withold the child from her. The father was involved but had no legal rights to child either. He couldn’t get any either without mom agreeing. Kansas laws really suck in that area but that’s another story.

Dcfs sure they were called on her several times due to drug activity at her place the people guys etc she’s lived with. But the child was never present when things happened or they showed up. The child was with me. So they would follow up come to my home and tell me that had if the child been there in care when they were there they would of been removed the child. But since baby wasn’t they had nothing no case on her. They said do your best to keep baby out of that situation as in try to talk her out of taking baby for visits etc. although she was the only one who had rights so the child was kind of screwed. They said the other options I had was to let the child go to her. And eventually hopefully sooner then later they would catch up with her a remove the child. I could then most likely be awarded guardian. But there was a risk on what would happen before they got another call to the place. I honestly feared waiting for that to happen would cause so much damage possibly even be to late.

The other option was to simply file for guardian ship which would give us all legal rights to said child. With the bonus of a 3rd party guardian or custody given would not include having to give her any parenting time visits etc. it’s all up to the guardian to make those decisions. But it’s not a easy thing to do in Kansas. And it’s expensive and I would totally lose my own child( meaning the baby’s mom) by doing this and if we lost we most likely never see the child we’ve have for at this point over half the child life. But things were getting bad the child was returned always sick dirty , we started to worry she was drugging baby maybe even abusing baby by late January.

Then Lucus’s story broke. I saw my grandchild in this senerio. My daughter was doing the same weird behaviors I saw play out in the characters of Lucus. She even had the shady live in boy friend. I cried for the family of Lucas I knew how close I was to becoming them. His grandma who’s hands were tied etc. something in me changed and I couldn’t let this now almost 3 year be the “next Lucas” the next child failed by Kansas dcfs.

but we had to at least try. Lucas’s case pushed that clear in my mind. We retained a lawyer and got emergacies orders to protect the child . Our case came up last week. I knew it was a huge chance we were taking. But we were granted full legal guardianship / custody of this child. We don’t have to even let his mother see him. Which we want her to clean up and be a parent. Someday I pray. But we got the paperwork this week. Giving us the degree of guardianship certificates. The final ruling from the judge was not one I expected. Usually they say parent is unable / unstable etc. but due to circumtances and evidence they obtained , probably from the lawyer for the child which we don’t know that part is sealed. They ruled my daughter unfit . Which means it’s going to be a rough road for her to ever get this child back. I wish god I wish the outcome for Lucas had a happy ending. But I’ll never forget Lucas his case was the trigger to save another child.

So sorry for the length

Firstly, Sassy, WELCOME TO WEBSLEUTHS!

Seconly, you have me in tears. I am so sorry that it has all come down to this. I cannot imagine the pain you must feel. But my god, you are amazing, admirable. You have given that baby the best chance in life. You did the right thing. I so hope that your daughter does get cleaned up and comes to realize the amazing sacrifices you have made for her child. That's beautiful. And, I'm so glad to hear that the courts sided with you. We have had Evan and Lucas so close together that it seemed nothing good would come out of family courts in Kansas.

I know this will be a long road for you all. But I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. I'm sure little one will flourish with you.

A relative of ours had a few children. 3. And we all suspected abuse. They weren't flourishing. They weren't developing or growing and the kids, one in particular had marks, over her body. It was so obvious that they were all being neglected and abused. We tried, so many times to get help from CPS. So many times. Nothing was done. She was underweight, the parents were both high, the kids were bruised up just liked Lucas. Nothing was done. The baby died at the hands of her mother (we were related to Dad but don't get me wrong, he was not innocent in all of this). The two others are being looked after by relatives, the oldest struggling with what he witnessed so, believe me when I say, I am so happy that they did the right thing in awarding custody to you.

We went through the whole ordeal, courts, trials, the case was all over the media, it was awful. But our hands were tied. I'm so glad they allowed yours to not be.

Good thoughts and love being sent to Grandchild-SassynOz. And hopes for your daughters recovery.

AnaP

 

[Jewels53]

Still thinking about Lucas! Thoughts and Prayers for FLA and family! :grouphug:

Thoughts and Prayers for anyone out there searching for Lucas! :grouphug:

#TeamLucas #LucasStrong #ComeHomeLucas

 

[Philigumbo]

I finally came out of lurking over this case. It has been killing me to watch this all unfold. I’m in a town small that surrounds Wichita. Their local news is the same as ours , we have to go there weekly for shopping or drs ect.

This case has haunted me like no other. See my family is in a very similar situation. I still have a child of my own at home and grown children. My oldest child as become a person I don’t even know anymore. Drugs got her and I can’t help her. God knows I tried. She was at one point the best mom I was so proud of her. But she got addicted and became another person. Her first child is in the costody of her ex. But she had another child younger. This child wasn’t yet to my knowlage physically abused. But was certainly neglected. I feared what would happen .She rarely even had the baby except to play “mommy” once in awhile but I lived in fear when she rarely had the baby what was happening . She pretty much just left the baby shortly after the baby turned 1 with us. But we had no rights we couldn’t not give the child to her when she would come around a make demands that we do this or that or she was taking said baby. Many times she’d go months with no contact show up and just take the child we had no rights to withold the child from her. The father was involved but had no legal rights to child either. He couldn’t get any either without mom agreeing. Kansas laws really suck in that area but that’s another story.

Dcfs sure they were called on her several times due to drug activity at her place the people guys etc she’s lived with. But the child was never present when things happened or they showed up. The child was with me. So they would follow up come to my home and tell me that had if the child been there in care when they were there they would of been removed the child. But since baby wasn’t they had nothing no case on her. They said do your best to keep baby out of that situation as in try to talk her out of taking baby for visits etc. although she was the only one who had rights so the child was kind of screwed. They said the other options I had was to let the child go to her. And eventually hopefully sooner then later they would catch up with her a remove the child. I could then most likely be awarded guardian. But there was a risk on what would happen before they got another call to the place. I honestly feared waiting for that to happen would cause so much damage possibly even be to late.

The other option was to simply file for guardian ship which would give us all legal rights to said child. With the bonus of a 3rd party guardian or custody given would not include having to give her any parenting time visits etc. it’s all up to the guardian to make those decisions. But it’s not a easy thing to do in Kansas. And it’s expensive and I would totally lose my own child( meaning the baby’s mom) by doing this and if we lost we most likely never see the child we’ve have for at this point over half the child life. But things were getting bad the child was returned always sick dirty , we started to worry she was drugging baby maybe even abusing baby by late January.

Then Lucus’s story broke. I saw my grandchild in this senerio. My daughter was doing the same weird behaviors I saw play out in the characters of Lucus. She even had the shady live in boy friend. I cried for the family of Lucas I knew how close I was to becoming them. His grandma who’s hands were tied etc. something in me changed and I couldn’t let this now almost 3 year be the “next Lucas” the next child failed by Kansas dcfs.

but we had to at least try. Lucas’s case pushed that clear in my mind. We retained a lawyer and got emergacies orders to protect the child . Our case came up last week. I knew it was a huge chance we were taking. But we were granted full legal guardianship / custody of this child. We don’t have to even let his mother see him. Which we want her to clean up and be a parent. Someday I pray. But we got the paperwork this week. Giving us the degree of guardianship certificates. The final ruling from the judge was not one I expected. Usually they say parent is unable / unstable etc. but due to circumtances and evidence they obtained , probably from the lawyer for the child which we don’t know that part is sealed. They ruled my daughter unfit . Which means it’s going to be a rough road for her to ever get this child back. I wish god I wish the outcome for Lucas had a happy ending. But I’ll never forget Lucas his case was the trigger to save another child.

So sorry for the length

Welcome! Thank you for sharing your story! I’m so happy Lucas’s story gave you strength! He’s a beacon, isn’t he? Your grandchild can thrive now in your loving arms and home. I hope your daughter sees the light and straightens her life up. Don’t ever doubt you did the right thing! :heartbeat:

 

[ScarlettLin]

Philigumbo and Chi my heart goes out to both of you. Prayers and hugs and I hope for comfort in your grief.
I can relate a bit, I lost my dad unexpectedly at the end of January, and had just returned home shortly before Lucas was reported missing and it has been a labor of love to be here and work on helping to find him.

God bless you too SassynOz and I was so heartened to hear the happy ending to you getting guardianship of your granddaughter. It’s hard I am sure to have to go through that but you absolutely did the right thing and hopefully one day your daughter will clean up her act and be able to be part of the child’s life.

This community is indeed a special collection of people come together ❤️


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[Yellow Rose]

Totally agree with everything ScarlettLin. It's always been a close knit community of wonderful people doing their very best with each and every case. I try to stay up on as many cases as I can while still working a full time job and rescuing parrots in every other spare moment. Please let today be the day Dear Lord.

 

[Philigumbo]

Philigumbo and Chi my heart goes out to both of you. Prayers and hugs and I hope for comfort in your grief.
I can relate a bit, I lost my dad unexpectedly at the end of January, and had just returned home shortly before Lucas was reported missing and it has been a labor of love to be here and work on helping to find him.

God bless you too SassynOz and I was so heartened to hear the happy ending to you getting guardianship of your granddaughter. It’s hard I am sure to have to go through that but you absolutely did the right thing and hopefully one day your daughter will clean up her act and be able to be part of the child’s life.

This community is indeed a special collection of people come together ❤️


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I’m so sorry about your dad, Scarlett. :heartbeat:
We are here for Lucas and each other.
I hope today is the day!

 

[Paddleboarder]

PommyMommy from thread 14 #888

You are spot on! I have done this long enough to know that if you simply regurgitate the same photo with the same information, people stop “seeing” it. Factual details are important, but sometimes you have to go for an emotional appeal. And damnit, I am emotional at this point - we all are!


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[flute4peace]

My god. I am so sorry to you both. Hugs [emoji813]beat:

Adding my love & condolences. I can't imagine!

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[Kamm5]

.. I’m still surprised at how quiet family is. We have 3 separate families involved EG -JO and JH . Have the police asked them not speak . Not to appeal to the public.

 

[flute4peace]

I finally came out of lurking over this case. It has been killing me to watch this all unfold. I’m in a town small that surrounds Wichita. Their local news is the same as ours , we have to go there weekly for shopping or drs ect.

This case has haunted me like no other. See my family is in a very similar situation. I still have a child of my own at home and grown children. My oldest child as become a person I don’t even know anymore. Drugs got her and I can’t help her. God knows I tried. She was at one point the best mom I was so proud of her. But she got addicted and became another person. Her first child is in the costody of her ex. But she had another child younger. This child wasn’t yet to my knowlage physically abused. But was certainly neglected. I feared what would happen .She rarely even had the baby except to play “mommy” once in awhile but I lived in fear when she rarely had the baby what was happening . She pretty much just left the baby shortly after the baby turned 1 with us. But we had no rights we couldn’t not give the child to her when she would come around a make demands that we do this or that or she was taking said baby. Many times she’d go months with no contact show up and just take the child we had no rights to withold the child from her. The father was involved but had no legal rights to child either. He couldn’t get any either without mom agreeing. Kansas laws really suck in that area but that’s another story.

Dcfs sure they were called on her several times due to drug activity at her place the people guys etc she’s lived with. But the child was never present when things happened or they showed up. The child was with me. So they would follow up come to my home and tell me that had if the child been there in care when they were there they would of been removed the child. But since baby wasn’t they had nothing no case on her. They said do your best to keep baby out of that situation as in try to talk her out of taking baby for visits etc. although she was the only one who had rights so the child was kind of screwed. They said the other options I had was to let the child go to her. And eventually hopefully sooner then later they would catch up with her a remove the child. I could then most likely be awarded guardian. But there was a risk on what would happen before they got another call to the place. I honestly feared waiting for that to happen would cause so much damage possibly even be to late.

The other option was to simply file for guardian ship which would give us all legal rights to said child. With the bonus of a 3rd party guardian or custody given would not include having to give her any parenting time visits etc. it’s all up to the guardian to make those decisions. But it’s not a easy thing to do in Kansas. And it’s expensive and I would totally lose my own child( meaning the baby’s mom) by doing this and if we lost we most likely never see the child we’ve have for at this point over half the child life. But things were getting bad the child was returned always sick dirty , we started to worry she was drugging baby maybe even abusing baby by late January.

Then Lucus’s story broke. I saw my grandchild in this senerio. My daughter was doing the same weird behaviors I saw play out in the characters of Lucus. She even had the shady live in boy friend. I cried for the family of Lucas I knew how close I was to becoming them. His grandma who’s hands were tied etc. something in me changed and I couldn’t let this now almost 3 year be the “next Lucas” the next child failed by Kansas dcfs.

but we had to at least try. Lucas’s case pushed that clear in my mind. We retained a lawyer and got emergacies orders to protect the child . Our case came up last week. I knew it was a huge chance we were taking. But we were granted full legal guardianship / custody of this child. We don’t have to even let his mother see him. Which we want her to clean up and be a parent. Someday I pray. But we got the paperwork this week. Giving us the degree of guardianship certificates. The final ruling from the judge was not one I expected. Usually they say parent is unable / unstable etc. but due to circumtances and evidence they obtained , probably from the lawyer for the child which we don’t know that part is sealed. They ruled my daughter unfit . Which means it’s going to be a rough road for her to ever get this child back. I wish god I wish the outcome for Lucas had a happy ending. But I’ll never forget Lucas his case was the trigger to save another child.

So sorry for the length

And Lucas' Legacy begins. I pray that between Lucas & Evan there will be more and more cases like yours where the courts are able to truly recognize the danger these kids are in. This baby is so incredibly blessed to have you!!

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[WildcatRunner]

I finally came out of lurking over this case. It has been killing me to watch this all unfold. I’m in a town small that surrounds Wichita. Their local news is the same as ours , we have to go there weekly for shopping or drs ect.

This case has haunted me like no other. See my family is in a very similar situation. I still have a child of my own at home and grown children. My oldest child as become a person I don’t even know anymore. Drugs got her and I can’t help her. God knows I tried. She was at one point the best mom I was so proud of her. But she got addicted and became another person. Her first child is in the costody of her ex. But she had another child younger. This child wasn’t yet to my knowlage physically abused. But was certainly neglected. I feared what would happen .She rarely even had the baby except to play “mommy” once in awhile but I lived in fear when she rarely had the baby what was happening . She pretty much just left the baby shortly after the baby turned 1 with us. But we had no rights we couldn’t not give the child to her when she would come around a make demands that we do this or that or she was taking said baby. Many times she’d go months with no contact show up and just take the child we had no rights to withold the child from her. The father was involved but had no legal rights to child either. He couldn’t get any either without mom agreeing. Kansas laws really suck in that area but that’s another story.

Dcfs sure they were called on her several times due to drug activity at her place the people guys etc she’s lived with. But the child was never present when things happened or they showed up. The child was with me. So they would follow up come to my home and tell me that had if the child been there in care when they were there they would of been removed the child. But since baby wasn’t they had nothing no case on her. They said do your best to keep baby out of that situation as in try to talk her out of taking baby for visits etc. although she was the only one who had rights so the child was kind of screwed. They said the other options I had was to let the child go to her. And eventually hopefully sooner then later they would catch up with her a remove the child. I could then most likely be awarded guardian. But there was a risk on what would happen before they got another call to the place. I honestly feared waiting for that to happen would cause so much damage possibly even be to late.

The other option was to simply file for guardian ship which would give us all legal rights to said child. With the bonus of a 3rd party guardian or custody given would not include having to give her any parenting time visits etc. it’s all up to the guardian to make those decisions. But it’s not a easy thing to do in Kansas. And it’s expensive and I would totally lose my own child( meaning the baby’s mom) by doing this and if we lost we most likely never see the child we’ve have for at this point over half the child life. But things were getting bad the child was returned always sick dirty , we started to worry she was drugging baby maybe even abusing baby by late January.

Then Lucus’s story broke. I saw my grandchild in this senerio. My daughter was doing the same weird behaviors I saw play out in the characters of Lucus. She even had the shady live in boy friend. I cried for the family of Lucas I knew how close I was to becoming them. His grandma who’s hands were tied etc. something in me changed and I couldn’t let this now almost 3 year be the “next Lucas” the next child failed by Kansas dcfs.

but we had to at least try. Lucas’s case pushed that clear in my mind. We retained a lawyer and got emergacies orders to protect the child . Our case came up last week. I knew it was a huge chance we were taking. But we were granted full legal guardianship / custody of this child. We don’t have to even let his mother see him. Which we want her to clean up and be a parent. Someday I pray. But we got the paperwork this week. Giving us the degree of guardianship certificates. The final ruling from the judge was not one I expected. Usually they say parent is unable / unstable etc. but due to circumtances and evidence they obtained , probably from the lawyer for the child which we don’t know that part is sealed. They ruled my daughter unfit . Which means it’s going to be a rough road for her to ever get this child back. I wish god I wish the outcome for Lucas had a happy ending. But I’ll never forget Lucas his case was the trigger to save another child.

So sorry for the length

From the way FLA described Lucas, he sounds like he is a sweet and kind boy. I bet he would be happy and proud to know that he moved you to take the steps to save the life of another child! Your story sounded so hard, but so necessary, and I personally am proud you did what was best for your grandchild. I also take some solace in knowing our sweet Lucas did so much good in his short, troubled life. He saved someone else's life...wow...I might never get to say that I did such a thing. You are a blessing, Sassy!

Just thinking out loud...

 

[SassynOz]

Thanks to those that commented I’m not sure how to get the quotes to work yet.

It wasn’t easy for me to go forward in one way. Because like I said my I have only one left at home. She just turned 14 (ouch) she also is n/v autism . I know she will be with me forever which I’m totalky ok with. She’s now a good kid. And life had actually gotten so easy with her. She hit puburity and we lost all negative behaviors stims etc. I can do whatever I need to and take her along and she’s a angel. The one older then her is a senior at K-state ( boy) then a son 2 years older then him. And my oldest who is the mother to my 2 grandchildren. I’m in my 40’s I didn’t plan on doing the baby and toddler and everything all over again. Plus the impact it would have on my s/n child. However my grandson (I didn’t mention that he was a boy ) was basically dumped here the day he turned 15 months old. He will be 3 in Early July. I didn’t think I could do it all again and do right by him. But on the other hand like many reminded me. I already HAD been doing it for more of his life then his mom ever did. He knows no other life. He doesn’t even know his mom. He doesn’t know what a mom is suppose to do. He calls me Grandma he calls her momma but that’s just her name in his eyes.

I know my daughter threatened to take him often maybe she wouldn’t of. But I know her and when she gets mad enough she would do just that. Plus the crying and whatnot when she did take him . I feared if he survived life after going back to her he would come to me someday and ask why I didn’t keep him? He never even bonded with his mom period. She did bond with her oldest son. And his dad is in a panic everytime his mother does actually show up and take him for her weekends which is rare. Drugs rule her. I knew he’d need to start school this next year and dang it this baby has no voice no one to be one HIS side. Then Lucas story hit omg , we came up with the cash really quick and retained a lawyer the same day. Not sure how we did it but we did. I would of backed out if not for Lucas’s little face .

The advantage I have that my ex son in law doesn’t have is they have joint legal custody. But he has full residential. He has to let his son go with her he already tried not. But I don’t have to at all . I could actually get in trouble for doing so since I’m leaving him with someone who the court declares unfit. This might push my ex son in law to get things changed with my 5 yr old grandson.
But I love this little boy with my everything he is Happy and healthy and treated exactly the same as my child still left at home. He is biracial and in our town sadly that will stigmatize him. He doesn’t need to also be known has the kid with the druggie and drug dealer mommy. It’s heartbreaking my daughter is a totally different person from the girl I raised. I can’t help her I’ve tried. But I can make sure her son has a great life. I do make sure his dad as unlimited access to him.

 

[SassynOz]

I totally give credit to little Lucas for saving Ezekial. If nothing else maybe his family can know that Lucas at least did save another child. I so wish he could of been saved.

 

[WildcatRunner]

Thanks to those that commented I’m not sure how to get the quotes to work yet.

It wasn’t easy for me to go forward in one way. Because like I said my I have only one left at home. She just turned 14 (ouch) she also is n/v autism . I know she will be with me forever which I’m totalky ok with. She’s now a good kid. And life had actually gotten so easy with her. She hit puburity and we lost all negative behaviors stims etc. I can do whatever I need to and take her along and she’s a angel. The one older then her is a senior at K-state ( boy) then a son 2 years older then him. And my oldest who is the mother to my 2 grandchildren. I’m in my 40’s I didn’t plan on doing the baby and toddler and everything all over again. Plus the impact it would have on my s/n child. However my grandson (I didn’t mention that he was a boy ) was basically dumped here the day he turned 15 months old. He will be 3 in Early July. I didn’t think I could do it all again and do right by him. But on the other hand like many reminded me. I already HAD been doing it for more of his life then his mom ever did. He knows no other life. He doesn’t even know his mom. He doesn’t know what a mom is suppose to do. He calls me Grandma he calls her momma but that’s just her name in his eyes.

I know my daughter threatened to take him often maybe she wouldn’t of. But I know her and when she gets mad enough she would do just that. Plus the crying and whatnot when she did take him . I feared if he survived life after going back to her he would come to me someday and ask why I didn’t keep him? He never even bonded with his mom period. She did bond with her oldest son. And his dad is in a panic everytime his mother does actually show up and take him for her weekends which is rare. Drugs rule her. I knew he’d need to start school this next year and dang it this baby has no voice no one to be one HIS side. Then Lucas story hit omg , we came up with the cash really quick and retained a lawyer the same day. Not sure how we did it but we did. I would of backed out if not for Lucas’s little face .

The advantage I have that my ex son in law doesn’t have is they have joint legal custody. But he has full residential. He has to let his son go with her he already tried not. But I don’t have to at all . I could actually get in trouble for doing so since I’m leaving him with someone who the court declares unfit. This might push my ex son in law to get things changed with my 5 yr old grandson.
But I love this little boy with my everything he is Happy and healthy and treated exactly the same as my child still left at home. He is biracial and in our town sadly that will stigmatize him. He doesn’t need to also be known has the kid with the druggie and drug dealer mommy. It’s heartbreaking my daughter is a totally different person from the girl I raised. I can’t help her I’ve tried. But I can make sure her son has a great life. I do make sure his dad as unlimited access to him.

I would think now that a court has found her unfit, your ex son-in-law can take that as evidence to the court to change the custody set up for the older child. Fingers crossed.

I hope your daughter is able to get clean one day. I think if she does, and stays clean for any period of time, she will be thankful you saved her child from herself. She just can't see that right now through the drugs.

Just thinking out loud...