Found Deceased Ks - Lucas Hernandez, 5, Wichita, 17 Feb 2018 #31

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motheroffour said:
I understand how you have evolved in some of your feelings. When my ex died some years ago I had no place to put all the resentment and hate I had been existing on for so long. I had every justification for how I felt about him but once he was gone he ceased being a soulless monster and became a failed human being and holding onto all that seething anger was pointless. The horrible things Lucas went through are just as heartbreaking and sickening but the villain can no longer feel our outrage toward her. It’s our own humanity that allows us to become more merciful once the subject of our hate has checked out especially in such a destructive way. Many will find my comments distasteful but they are my feelings only.
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Well said.
 
kkdj said:
I wonder if the case against JH will proceed. There is no longer a need for a protection order for EG's boys. They are protected from her now forever. I really think that was the whole point of her ex filing anything anyway.....to keep the boys away from her.
Not to discount that JH may have been rough with one of the boys, but I just think the reason for the arrest and the result intended is gone.
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Oh I think the ex will go through with this- JH hurt HIS son. In my opinion, if that were my child, the gloves would be off, no matter who it was or whatever they were currently going through. Let's not forget, this happened before Lucas disappeared, and there was previous domestic altercations in the past to which his children may have witnessed. He might also do this to make sure JH doesn't have a chance to harm another child again, meaning, his own.
 
liltexans said:
I agree with your friend. Somehow, I can't quite bring myself to believe that EG loved her kids, though. Maybe she did, in some bizarre way that I can't comprehend.
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But even if they don’t know how to love and nurture I really believe EG knew it was wrong to beat him. Right and Wrong she knew it wrong and even admitted it. This just came to me not a lot of thought given to it yet. But maybe a foundation in Lucas name that helps people like JO andFLA and the family in NM who report abuse and get no help. Help them maneuver the system
 
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As far as Emily's family goes,I was surprised at one person who has been missing from the spotlight since Lucas was found. I only bring "said person" up as they were in MSM the day that Lucas went missing (even giving a statement) and this person shouted something to Emily when she first appeared in court. MSM showed this woman shouting encouragement to Emily. I really expected her to be the one that would talk to NG and give Emily's side of the story. Or at least be at the house extremely upset over Emily's demise. After all, the two spent so much time together that Lucas had to be told to be careful when playing at that house. Seems like that person has decided to stay in the shadows. So many questions in this case.....hoping that Lucas will soon be with his family!!
 
Busylady said:
I respect your thoughts on all this and agree with a lot of what you stated. Your comments about the gender reversal, we have seen time and time again on WS where people are so angry when a child dies at the hand of a boyfriend/husband and hold the women responsible and want charges filed because they stayed and kept their children in the environment. Post after post saying there is no way the mother didn't know what was going on or what could happen.

It wasn't like there was just violent altercations between JH and EG, there was multiple times evidence was on Lucas that he was being abused, multiple people told him, how many black eyes, bruises all over the body before you say hey something isn't right here. I don't buy being out of town as an excuse.

My thoughts on JH actions does not mean that my heart doesn't break for him for the loss of his son.

I respect posters here at WS, but I have learned I have offended a few with my stance on my feelings of JH actions so time for me to stop my post on thoughts of JH.
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You haven't offended me, I can promise you that! I look forward to your perspective, always, because you never fail to make me think. I guess because of my own belief in the possibility of change & healing often forces me to look at situations more from a intervention/prevention standpoint than a justice standpoint...? I want justice but my mind always first goes to asking myself how I might approach a person veering down a similar path--what would I say to let this person know it's ok to admit fault and seek help? Yet, we cannot permit this person to avoid justice for past behavior--part of change is owning up to what we've done already. And those who have followed my waffling on JH closely know I can't make up my own mind about him -- I keep telling myself that being in a situation is different than viewing it from the outside, but it's often not near enough.

I think your views are balanced quite well between head and heart, and I know I could always use some more balance in my thinking--you're like a dose of fruit & veggies after I've binged on PopTarts and coffee!! I can promise you I need more fruits & veggies. {{Hugs}}
 
castilloisno1 said:
As far as Emily's family goes,I was surprised at one person who has been missing from the spotlight since Lucas was found. I only bring "said person" up as they were in MSM the day that Lucas went missing (even giving a statement) and this person shouted something to Emily when she first appeared in court. MSM showed this woman shouting encouragement to Emily. I really expected her to be the one that would talk to NG and give Emily's side of the story. Or at least be at the house extremely upset over Emily's demise. After all, the two spent so much time together that Lucas had to be told to be careful when playing at that house. Seems like that person has decided to stay in the shadows. So many questions in this case.....hoping that Lucas will soon be with his family!!
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I believe this person has problems of her own. I believe that time will tell if those problems are connected to this case or not. I wouldn't be surprised if this person felt obligated in some form or fashion to side with EG--and possibly feels relieved that she can tend to her own problems and possibly come clean with everything she knows without fear of retribution from the person she felt obliged to protect (EG). All just speculation and MOO.
 
hopingicanhelp said:
I understand where you're coming from. I also don't wish those feelings on anyone.
It is hard to give any positive credit to people we've come to resent, especially when their actions hurt children. I don't truly believe anybody is pure evil, but I sometimes forget that.

I don't know if I agree that she felt guilty so much as she knew she would forever be seen as guilty and that was too much -- well, I guess I'm thinking she had no shame. She may have felt guilty and with good reason, but I don't know if I believe she felt ashamed of herself. Everything had a reason and no one understood her, and she was able to justify almost everything to a point, IMO. Her life could have had a much different outcome if circumstances were different and she got the help she needed to cope and if she could bring herself to admit what she couldn't handle.

And that last part is what absolutely kills me when people want to judge JO -- we so desperately want parents to admit they need help or can't manage the responsibility but we are quick to judge. We immediately look cross-eyed at mothers who don't have custody and assume the worst. We glorify dads who take on responsibilities we expect of mothers, things we think are routine and no big deal with mothers. I would bet that EG was keenly aware of this, and she was not going to give anything to JO or to her ex. This resentment that she carried about being judged likely fueled her behavior--along with mood swings, impulsivity, and drug use on top of everything else. It just built up and up until poor Lucas was crushed under the weight -- I believe that if Lucas weren't around, EG would have eventually been found to have at least neglected MH. I believe sweet Lucas saved MH.

We need to start looking at moms and dad as parents and hold them to the same standards, and we need to be grateful for parents who can admit their children are better off with at least temporary guardianship elsewhere. We also need to look at mental illness as a health issue that can be managed and encourage its utilization without penalizing those who bring themselves forward to receive help. It's hard for parents with mental illness to fight a system that punishes them for admitting they need care.

Sorry for the rant in the last paragraph -- I just keep looking and looking at how anyone or anything could have possibly intervened in a way that might have changed the ending, both for Lucas and for EG. All moo...
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Very eloquently stated thoughts I tried to express in a previous thread.
 
charminglane said:
I am speculating that there is a mark on the back or side of Lucas' neck that aligns with the shape of a toilet seat lid.I
I'm also very frightened as to the need for the Pull-up.
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After three months I don't believe there would BE a mark. I think any fractures would be very difficult to pin to a specific object. If Lucas had been found immediately.... maybe.
 
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In my opinion most if us have differing thoughts on so many aspects of the disappearance, and realization that Lucas had been dead for the entire time. The sole knowledge that from his birth he fought to survive his cleft palette, then went on to endure abuse for longer than we will ever know, is a lot for good people to think about.

However, I believe good can come from it, because so many people are touched by his life and now death.

There’s really no guilt to be had for any emotion you yourself have deep in your heart. I don’t and mines a mixed bag of each of yours.

Tomorrow is a new day and perhaps LE and the DA Too have had a couple of days to digest the recent events. Maybe they can begin to share more. And when they do we will have more to discuss. It may be more settling to everyone. Bless each of you and the memory of Lucas.
 
Squirrel85 said:
I am just going to throw this out there. I don't want JH to be able to regain custody of his daughter. I don't want the baby to be left with some girlfriend, while JH goes back to working out of state. I want someone who loves children to foster, and eventually adopt MH. I want her to have a good life, and not let history repeat itself. MH deserves to be with someone who is able to make healthy choices and not choices out of convenience. Lucas deserved better, and he won't ever get that chance. But, it isn't too late for MH to have a chance at having a happy life.
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Amen! I could not agree more with you on everything you said. I would even go so far as limited visitation with her, under strict supervision, maybe down the road. Right now, his state of mind is fragile, between Lucas being found and now her suicide. While I do not think he would hurt his daughter, I don't think this man is stable enough to be around her for long periods of time, especially alone.
 
Busylady said:
I respect your thoughts on all this and agree with a lot of what you stated. Your comments about the gender reversal, we have seen time and time again on WS where people are so angry when a child dies at the hand of a boyfriend/husband and hold the women responsible and want charges filed because they stayed and kept their children in the environment. Post after post saying there is no way the mother didn't know what was going on or what could happen.

It wasn't like there was just violent altercations between JH and EG, there was multiple times evidence was on Lucas that he was being abused, multiple people told him, how many black eyes, bruises all over the body before you say hey something isn't right here. I don't buy being out of town as an excuse.

My thoughts on JH actions does not mean that my heart doesn't break for him for the loss of his son.

I respect posters here at WS, but I have learned I have offended a few with my stance on my feelings of JH actions so time for me to stop my post on thoughts of JH.
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I hear you, I've also upset a few good members myself, to a point where I started to feel bad and felt like a witch for the things I said about him. I do feel bad he lost his son, and I feel horrible with what he just witnessed a couple of nights ago, walking in to EG's suicide, so for now, I am just going to sit back and at least not get too angry at him. I do feel he's going to need intense therapy with a psychiatrist. He knows deep down, I hope, that the error of his ways and Emily's caused Lucas to no longer be here.

However, to be honest, I don't know if he'll ever recover from this. It absolutely freaking haunts me that before I went to bed, I said I was worried about him committing suicide- only to wake up in the morning and find out that less than 2 hours later, after my post, there was news reports about Emily's suicide. It's freaking me out, to be honest, that I was so strong in my thoughts about suicide. Who knows, he just might one day- which is why I pray his family encourages him to seek help, the sooner, the better. He has an awful lot of emotional baggage on his shoulders right now.
 
seekingtruth79 said:
Thank you for this. I’m still wondering who of EG’s family fall in this? Her family is a mystery to me.
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Child Mandated Reporters According to KSA 38-2223

  • Persons licensed to practice the healing arts
  • dentistry and optometry
  • persons engaged in post graduate training programs approved by the state board of healing arts
  • licensed professional or practical nurses
  • chief administrative officers of medical care facilities
  • Licensed psychologists
  • licensed masters level psychologists
  • licensed clinical psychotherapists
  • licensed social workers
  • licensed marriage and family therapists
  • licensed clinical marriage and family therapists
  • licensed professional counselors
  • licensed clinical professional counselors
  • registered alcohol and drug abuse counselors
  • teachers
  • school administrators
  • other employees of an educational institution which the child is attending
  • persons licensed by the secretary of health and environment to provide child care services
  • the employees of persons so licensed at the place where the child care services are being provided to the child
  • firefighters
  • emergency medical services personnel
  • law enforcement officers
  • juvenile intake and assessment workers
  • court services officers and community corrections officers
  • case managers appointed under K.S.A. 23-1001 et seq., and amendments thereto
  • mediators appointed under K.S.A. 23-602, and amendments thereto
Mandated Reporters for CPS are usually professional folks, like teachers, social workers, medical professionals, EMT, LE...family members would only fall into the "mandated reporter" if they were in one of these professions
 
Tippy Lynn said:
IMO JH choices have proven he’s unable to provide a safe and healthy home or to put the best interest of his children first. He’s an unfit parent.
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I agree. I suppose I should have better explained in my original post that my wondering why it doesn't seem to be a priority for him or even on his radar doesn't mean I feel he is a fit parent who can provide a safe, stable, loving home. I was already questioning that.

Those thoughts/doubts were compounded when I realized that he had never mentioned her in interviews or articles; there was never a mention of a desire to "get MH back" along with his desire to find Lucas. Sad. Depressing really, for MH, even if she is better off with different caregivers in a different home.
 
Steelslady said:
I hear you, I've also upset a few good members myself, to a point where I started to feel bad and felt like a witch for the things I said about him. I do feel bad he lost his son, and I feel horrible with what he just witnessed a couple of nights ago, walking in to EG's suicide, so for now, I am just going to sit back and at least not get too angry at him. I do feel he's going to need intense therapy with a psychiatrist. He knows deep down, I hope, that the error of his ways and Emily's caused Lucas to no longer be here.

However, to be honest, I don't know if he'll ever recover from this. It absolutely freaking haunts me that before I went to bed, I said I was worried about him committing suicide- only to wake up in the morning and find out that less than 2 hours later, after my post, there was news reports about Emily's suicide. It's freaking me out, to be honest, that I was so strong in my thoughts about suicide. Who knows, he just might one day- which is why I pray his family encourages him to seek help, the sooner, the better. He has an awful lot of emotional baggage on his shoulders right now.
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I’m deeply concerned about him as well. Those whom are immediate family of a suicide victim are much more likely to turn to suicide themselves. After losing his son, and his daughter, now the mother of MH, he has nothing much to live for (I mean that he may FEEL he has nothing much to live for - not that IMO). What if all this trauma causes him to lose his job? I pray he gets lots and lots of help, he will need it.
Hopefully I am articulating this correctly, I don’t want it to sound as though I am saying that he has nothing. More or less just trying to put myself in his shoes and surmise how I would feel if I were him and went through all this.
 
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