Alice253
Live Every Moment
Great post, Fran. Couldn't have said it any better.
GUILTY MI - Tara Grant, 34, slain, dismembered, Washington Twp, 9 Feb 2007
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fran
Former Member
After I wrote my last post, I saw where it appeared that the custody hearing was held yesterday, which was why SG's sister probably turned over the kids. But I'm willing to bet that she nor his entire family disputed Tara's family's claim.
You see, I've seen the Grant side of things. I know a family who a member is 'accused of' a high profile crime. It was a large family, many aunts, uncles, cousins, neices, nephews, living in a community for many decades. Since the crime and his arrest, the entire family has been vilified by the press, haunted by LE, received threatening and obscene phone calls and mail. The children have been taunted at school and the neighbors of all the extended family have deserted even any attempt of friendliness.
It doesn't matter that there's been no trial yet. It doesn't matter that it wasn't these family members who alledgedly did this crime, but they are paying the price none the less.
I know one by one, the family is finding it necessary to move where they can maintain some form of obscurity. Decades of their lives are being destroyed, just for being a relative of someone accused of a crime.
JMHO
fran
PS...also FWIW and OT, the family I know at first honestly didn't know IF he was guilty or not. But as time has progressed, they've come to the conclusion, as I have, that he in all probability did NOT do the crime. LE and the media has a way of 'spinning' the facts to make it seem as though they have him at the scene, but, IMO, as his court appointed attorney has stated, their evidence is flawed and I'm confident he will be able to prove it in court. But until then, this guy sits in jail without bail. He wasn't a pilar of the community by any means, but I believe he's one of those rare cases where they probably have the wrong guy......fran
PPS. Thank you Alice
You see, I've seen the Grant side of things. I know a family who a member is 'accused of' a high profile crime. It was a large family, many aunts, uncles, cousins, neices, nephews, living in a community for many decades. Since the crime and his arrest, the entire family has been vilified by the press, haunted by LE, received threatening and obscene phone calls and mail. The children have been taunted at school and the neighbors of all the extended family have deserted even any attempt of friendliness.
It doesn't matter that there's been no trial yet. It doesn't matter that it wasn't these family members who alledgedly did this crime, but they are paying the price none the less.
I know one by one, the family is finding it necessary to move where they can maintain some form of obscurity. Decades of their lives are being destroyed, just for being a relative of someone accused of a crime.
JMHO
fran
PS...also FWIW and OT, the family I know at first honestly didn't know IF he was guilty or not. But as time has progressed, they've come to the conclusion, as I have, that he in all probability did NOT do the crime. LE and the media has a way of 'spinning' the facts to make it seem as though they have him at the scene, but, IMO, as his court appointed attorney has stated, their evidence is flawed and I'm confident he will be able to prove it in court. But until then, this guy sits in jail without bail. He wasn't a pilar of the community by any means, but I believe he's one of those rare cases where they probably have the wrong guy......fran
PPS. Thank you Alice
fran
Former Member
Autumn2004 said:Thanks Fran
It is hard and heartbreaking. I probably wont be online for awhile honestly I havent turned on the news or cnn since this begun. We do not get the local paper and Im trying to have my head in the sand. I know we will have to deal with it soon with the service though. Going through this has been very surreal and you feel decieved as to who you thought someone was. I cant imagine how deceived they are feeling. Honestly I dont even know what to say to them but Im so sorry and it doesnt even touch how I feel about it.
I live in the vicinity as Nicole Brown's family (OJ trial). I understand that the stores the family frequented, removed the 'tabloids' from the shelves, so anyone wanting them had to ask. It was a warm gesture by the community to try to protect the family from the unnecessary 'gossip and speculation and mistruths,' about their beautiful daughter and her friend, so mindlessly slaughtered.
If you don't know what to say to them, just hand them a rose and give a big hug. Words aren't necessary, imho. Also, FWIW, the family most likely doesn't know what to say in return. IMO, that's why sometimes actions speak volumes and leaves no doubt as to the meaning and sincerity.
JMO
fran
ISPTRAX
New Member
Sorry if I missed it, but what ARE his parent's/siblings/family saying? Are they more Ma's and Pa's defending their widdle boy? Are they hiding in horror??
fran
Former Member
ISPTRAX said:
I've searched every news article I could find, and see no statement at all from the Grant family. So I would say they are probably hiding in horror.
LOL, now I have to take back another post, as I see the custody hearing has NOT taken place until today at 3:00. So Grant's sister let the children go with Tara's family without a court order, IMO.
This is at the very end of the article.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/wdiv/20070306/lo_wdiv/11176310
What's Next For The Children
Local 4's Roger Weber reported that a custody hearing is scheduled for 3 p.m. Tuesday in the juvenile division of the Macomb County Family Court, where a referee will decide what will happen to the children, who are 4 and 6, for now.
Workers for Michigan's Child Protective services office have filed an abuse/neglect petition against Grant. It's presumably based on allegations that he killed his wife in the home while the children were, and that he kept her torso in the garage while the children were there.
The children have been staying with Stephen Grant's sister, but now this case has become a state matter.
A Mount Clemens attorney who has experience in cases like this talked to Local 4 about how the process works.
"This is a matter of finding what's in the best interest of the children right now," family attorney Donald Aubrey said. "Making sure the children's needs are taken care of, making sure there is a process by which wherever the children are placed that a third party has the ability to provide food, shelter, and can seek medical help for the child."
Aubrey said in very serious cases, protective services asks that a petition be accepted. The petition would include language requesting that a parent's rights be terminated.
If they do file to terminiate his parental rights, that process could take a long time -- maybe four months to a year.
Grant will have an attorney appointed to him, and the children will have what's called a Guardian ad Litem representing them.
A Macomb Co. bank is accepting donations for a trust fund set up for the two young children of Tara Lynn Grant and confessed murderer Stephen Grant.
Donations may be sent to:
Care of: Warren Bank 38880 Garfield Road Clinton Township, MI 48038
ISPTRAX
New Member
Very good. Thanks, Fran. Hopefully the sister gave up the kids peacefully then... knowing they wouldn't (shouldn't) have a leg to stand on otherwise.
fran
Former Member
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/M/MISSING_WOMAN?SITE=FLTAM&SECTION=US
Stephen Grant, 37, was arraigned Tuesday on charges of first-degree murder and dismemberment of a body, and Judge Denis LeDuc entered a not guilty plea on his behalf. Authorities, however, say Grant told them after his arrest early Sunday that he killed his wife in the couple's home and later dismembered her.
Grant had no attorney at the arraignment. David Griem, who acted as his spokesman, said Sunday he no longer would represent Grant because of irreconcilable differences.
The judge said he would appoint a lawyer for Grant. He also ordered him held without bail.
"Given the extreme, extreme seriousness of the charges, the nature of the allegations here, the nature of the alleged flight, the court agrees with the people. I'm going to order you held without bond. Do you understand that?" the judge said.
"Yes, your honor," Grant replied.
.........................snip......................
Sheriff Mark Hackel said Monday that Grant "gave a very lengthy confession, laying out exactly what took place."
But he didn't offer a motive, said Smith, the prosecutor.
"Evil rarely explains itself," the prosecutor said. "To us, it's not an element we have to prove."
......................snip..........................
Smith said investigators believe that the couple's two children - a 6-year-old girl and a 4-year-old boy - were asleep in the home and didn't witness the slaying.
A child custody hearing for the children was scheduled for later Tuesday, and Smith said his office planned to petition the family court to terminate Grant's parental rights.
Smith said the Michigan Department of Human Services recommends the children live with Tara Grant's sister, Alicia Standerfer, and her husband in Chillicothe, Ohio.
Stephen Grant's sister, Kelly Utykanski, of Sterling Heights, and her husband also were seeking temporary custody. Utykanski said she gave police the information to help find her brother in northern Michigan.
"I'm not here to give my brother a big hug," she said. "I want him to get his punishment. I just want to make sure he has his (legal) representation and that I'm allowed to visit him."
Stephen Grant, 37, was arraigned Tuesday on charges of first-degree murder and dismemberment of a body, and Judge Denis LeDuc entered a not guilty plea on his behalf. Authorities, however, say Grant told them after his arrest early Sunday that he killed his wife in the couple's home and later dismembered her.
Grant had no attorney at the arraignment. David Griem, who acted as his spokesman, said Sunday he no longer would represent Grant because of irreconcilable differences.
The judge said he would appoint a lawyer for Grant. He also ordered him held without bail.
"Given the extreme, extreme seriousness of the charges, the nature of the allegations here, the nature of the alleged flight, the court agrees with the people. I'm going to order you held without bond. Do you understand that?" the judge said.
"Yes, your honor," Grant replied.
.........................snip......................
Sheriff Mark Hackel said Monday that Grant "gave a very lengthy confession, laying out exactly what took place."
But he didn't offer a motive, said Smith, the prosecutor.
"Evil rarely explains itself," the prosecutor said. "To us, it's not an element we have to prove."
......................snip..........................
Smith said investigators believe that the couple's two children - a 6-year-old girl and a 4-year-old boy - were asleep in the home and didn't witness the slaying.
A child custody hearing for the children was scheduled for later Tuesday, and Smith said his office planned to petition the family court to terminate Grant's parental rights.
Smith said the Michigan Department of Human Services recommends the children live with Tara Grant's sister, Alicia Standerfer, and her husband in Chillicothe, Ohio.
Stephen Grant's sister, Kelly Utykanski, of Sterling Heights, and her husband also were seeking temporary custody. Utykanski said she gave police the information to help find her brother in northern Michigan.
"I'm not here to give my brother a big hug," she said. "I want him to get his punishment. I just want to make sure he has his (legal) representation and that I'm allowed to visit him."
Bobbisangel
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Autumn2004 said:Thanks Fran
It is hard and heartbreaking. I probably wont be online for awhile honestly I havent turned on the news or cnn since this begun. We do not get the local paper and Im trying to have my head in the sand. I know we will have to deal with it soon with the service though. Going through this has been very surreal and you feel decieved as to who you thought someone was. I cant imagine how deceived they are feeling. Honestly I dont even know what to say to them but Im so sorry and it doesnt even touch how I feel about it.
Hi Autumn,
I have been in the shoes of Tara's family. My youngest daughter was murdered by her ex-husband when she was 25 yrs. She left behind a little 4 yr old daughter.
Really there is nothing that a person can say to the family of a murdered child. I think the most important thing good friends of the family can do is just be there for the family. When you live near the family you can stop in and clean the kitchen or cook a meal...bring them a meal...play with the kids...do the laundry, etc. Most families won't ask people to do things for them and to be honest the family is usually so numb they don't know half of what is happening around them. Having someone come in and just doing something that they see needs done is most helpful. Sometimes the family just needs someone to talk to. The visitor isn't sure of what they should say but I remember really feeling the need to talk about my daughter. Visitors aren't sure if they should mention the child or what happened. Just knowing that people care really helps the family survive the horror of a murder. That support is so important whether the family knows who the people are that are supporting them or not.
I hope I'm making sense. I can't compare cases...mine and theirs...but I can't imagine my daughter being murdered when I thought the marriage was going well. I can't imagine finding out that my daughter had been dead for days before her husband called LE and then to find out that he had cut her body up. The horror of it would just be unbelievable. My heart goes out to Tara's mom and dad. To be their ages and having to cope with this loss is unforgivable on that monster's part. What a selfish self centered evil person.
I dread to think of how those children are going to cope with this murder when they get old enough to know the whole story. And there will come the day when they will want to know everything. My granddaughter was in therapy for years and her therapist was always very honest with her. She is now 18 yrs and is ready to look through the newspaper articles that I made copies of and put in sleeves in a album...at her therapists recommendation. She reads a little and puts it away. It makes her feel sick. She wants nothing to do with her father..in prison...or his parents in Texas. His parents blamed my daughter for things you wouldn't believe and put it all in the paper. I hope that Tara's in-laws don't take that route. They will lose their grandchildren. The children have enough to cope with without the grandparents saying horrible things about their mother. I hope that Tara's sister arranges for these children to go into therapy as soon as possible. It truly is a blessing and really helps the children cope and is a great help to the caregivers too. I depended on Alysha's therapist help with a lot of things that came up. Things that I wasn't sure of how to cope with...behavior, etc.
I wish that none of us ever had to go through the horror of such a thing as murder. None of us have been taught how to feel or think or what to do....and we aren't familiar with the judicial system either. That in itself is a rude awakening. I bought a book a couple months after Shelley was murdered. It was a blessing. I think it is called "No Time To Say Goodbye."
It is written by a woman but I can't remember her name. It wasn't expensive and it was so helpful as it covers everything to do with murder and suicide.
It even covers the Justise System.....parents...siblings, etc. It talks about the feelings we will have...I thought I was going crazy but found out I wasn't...thanks to the book. It really helped me a lot.
This family will be in my prayers and thoughts daily. My heart goes out to them and to you for your loss too.
concernedperson
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Oh, B, you always hit a reality. Your pain is palpable but your reality is steadfast. You are such an icon and I honor you. I also want to hug you. Tears for your loss and acknowledgement for what you add everyday.
chicoliving
Former Member
~snip~
In other developments, Rescue 4 found out that Grant made two phone calls the night police searched his home.
Sources told Local 4 that Grant called his attorney, and he also called former au pair, Verena Derkes, 19, in Germany.
Sources said he wanted to clarify the story and told her Tara really fell down the stairs.
"The au pair, former au pair in Germany, is someone who we'd obviously like to speak with," Smith said. "But to get to talk to her is a logistical nightmare."
She said she wanted to stay at the house while Tara was missing, but the company she worked for asked her to leave.
http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/11176310/detail.html
In other developments, Rescue 4 found out that Grant made two phone calls the night police searched his home.
Sources told Local 4 that Grant called his attorney, and he also called former au pair, Verena Derkes, 19, in Germany.
Sources said he wanted to clarify the story and told her Tara really fell down the stairs.
"The au pair, former au pair in Germany, is someone who we'd obviously like to speak with," Smith said. "But to get to talk to her is a logistical nightmare."
She said she wanted to stay at the house while Tara was missing, but the company she worked for asked her to leave.
http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/11176310/detail.html
mysteriew
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Fran, that was a great post on the family's of suspects. Many of those family's don't know what to say. And much of what they say angers people. Yet most don't want their relative excused for what they did- but they do want them to be treated fairly. And I can't say I blame them for that. In most cases if they had known they would have stopped it if they could. And Grants family does appear to be the family who just want them to be treated fairly and are not offering excuses for him.
One of the worst parts of DV is that at one time they were all at least somewhat friendly.
Bobbisangel, you express that so well. When my brother was killed in an accident, some of the same things happened. The only thing I might add is not to ask questions. Just let the family guide the conversation. Sometimes they may want to talk about it, sometimes they may just want a break to try to feel "normal" again and have some "normal" conversation- even though they may not say what they want or may have trouble focusing on it.
One of the worst parts of DV is that at one time they were all at least somewhat friendly.
Bobbisangel, you express that so well. When my brother was killed in an accident, some of the same things happened. The only thing I might add is not to ask questions. Just let the family guide the conversation. Sometimes they may want to talk about it, sometimes they may just want a break to try to feel "normal" again and have some "normal" conversation- even though they may not say what they want or may have trouble focusing on it.
teddiebear1955
teddiebear hugs & kisses
is there anyway we could put this like Trenton Ducket...in its own place i had trouble finding this on Tara Grant. :angel: an angel for Tara
ISPTRAX
New Member
teddiebear1955 said:
Heck, Trenton Ducket? Why couldn't this get it's own trial forum for Stephen Grant? He's not going anywhere...
mysteriew
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teddiebear, Anytime you are trying to find a case and can't locate it, try the search button at the top of the page that covers the whole site.teddiebear1955 said:
In each forum there is also a search button on the second row to search just that forum, and in each thread if you are looking for a specific post there is a search button to search just that thread.
fran
Former Member
http://www.macombdaily.com/stories/030707/loc_grant001.shtml
A juvenile court referee Tuesday awarded temporary placement of Tara and Stephen Grant's two young children with Tara's sister, while stripping Stephen Grant of having any contact with them.
Referee John J. Kennedy on Tuesday afternoon approved the placement of the 6-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son of the Grants on behalf of the state Department of Human Services, which determined the children should be with Alicia Standerfer and her husband, Erik, who live in Ohio.
A future custody battle is possible since Stephen Grant's sister, Kelly Utykanski, who resides in Sterling Heights with her husband, Chris, said out of court Tuesday she wants to seek custody of the children. The Utykanskis attended Tuesday's hearing but their attorney was not allowed by Kennedy to speak.
The permanent placement will be decided at a later time. Stephen Grant's parental rights could terminated though Family Court, which at the earliest would be scheduled in 30 days.
.......................snip.................................
Over the next month, the DHS will evaluate the living conditions and family environment of Tara's surviving sister and only sibling, Macomb County Prosecutor Eric Smith said. Although the children cannot leave the state while the review process is pending, Smith said he believes the family can keep the children in the area with relatives.
"Our understanding is they do have family in the tri-county area, and these relatives are known to the children, and that shouldn't be a problem to stay with those relatives at least while this process is pending," Smith said. "There's no indication they'd have to live in a hotel or anything just to comply with that request."
Smith was also confident the Standerfer family residence in Chilicothe, Ohio, would prove a suitable home environment and the family should be able to obtain permanent custody.
....................more at link......................
A juvenile court referee Tuesday awarded temporary placement of Tara and Stephen Grant's two young children with Tara's sister, while stripping Stephen Grant of having any contact with them.
Referee John J. Kennedy on Tuesday afternoon approved the placement of the 6-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son of the Grants on behalf of the state Department of Human Services, which determined the children should be with Alicia Standerfer and her husband, Erik, who live in Ohio.
A future custody battle is possible since Stephen Grant's sister, Kelly Utykanski, who resides in Sterling Heights with her husband, Chris, said out of court Tuesday she wants to seek custody of the children. The Utykanskis attended Tuesday's hearing but their attorney was not allowed by Kennedy to speak.
The permanent placement will be decided at a later time. Stephen Grant's parental rights could terminated though Family Court, which at the earliest would be scheduled in 30 days.
.......................snip.................................
Over the next month, the DHS will evaluate the living conditions and family environment of Tara's surviving sister and only sibling, Macomb County Prosecutor Eric Smith said. Although the children cannot leave the state while the review process is pending, Smith said he believes the family can keep the children in the area with relatives.
"Our understanding is they do have family in the tri-county area, and these relatives are known to the children, and that shouldn't be a problem to stay with those relatives at least while this process is pending," Smith said. "There's no indication they'd have to live in a hotel or anything just to comply with that request."
Smith was also confident the Standerfer family residence in Chilicothe, Ohio, would prove a suitable home environment and the family should be able to obtain permanent custody.
....................more at link......................
Bobbisangel
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The longer Tara's family have the kids and the longer the whole custody thing takes the better chance Tara's family will have of getting perm custody of the kids.
I wonder how big Tara's sister's house is? I'm thinking of Tara and her husband, gramma and grandpa, Tara's sister's two children (?) and then Tara's two children. I hope that there is plenty of room for everyone. I'm also wondering how much care Tara's father takes and how much of Tara's sister's time. I hope that there is nothing that will stand in the way of Tara's family getting and keeping the kids. The kids belong with Tara's family.
Do they have to stay in the state until this whole custody thing is figured out?
I wonder how big Tara's sister's house is? I'm thinking of Tara and her husband, gramma and grandpa, Tara's sister's two children (?) and then Tara's two children. I hope that there is plenty of room for everyone. I'm also wondering how much care Tara's father takes and how much of Tara's sister's time. I hope that there is nothing that will stand in the way of Tara's family getting and keeping the kids. The kids belong with Tara's family.
Do they have to stay in the state until this whole custody thing is figured out?
fran
Former Member
Bobbisangel said:
From the article, IIRC, yes, they do have to stay in the state. But I think there's another relative who lives there and I believe I saw that's where they are for now.
JMHO
fran
Autumn2004
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Bobbisangel- Thanks so much for the help and mysteriew also. They do have a very large home with a suitable income to take care of them all. I dont want to get in specifics as it might bother them. Financially they will be fine and enough room for everyone. They do have three other relatives in the state that I know of. Two are within driving distance of the area.
fran
Former Member
http://news.yahoo.com/s/wdiv/20070308/lo_wdiv/11200831
A candlelight vigil is scheduled Thursday at 6:30 p.m. for Tara Lynn Grant.
It will take place in the Grant's neighborhood on Westridge Steet in Washington Township.
Friends and neighbors want to honor the young women who left two small children behind when she was murdered last month.
A candlelight vigil is scheduled Thursday at 6:30 p.m. for Tara Lynn Grant.
It will take place in the Grant's neighborhood on Westridge Steet in Washington Township.
Friends and neighbors want to honor the young women who left two small children behind when she was murdered last month.
mysteriew
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Theories that the children's sled was used to transport Tara's body parts.
Defense attorney was chosen that was not on the ususal lists of attorneys.
The official reason was that the judge wanted someone who could handle the number of distractions in the case. Also the judge said he didn't know of any attorney's who wanted the case.
http://www.wzzm13.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=72141
Were Grant and the nanny having an affair?
http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070308/METRO/703080387/1014
http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070307/UPDATE/703070472/1003
Defense attorney was chosen that was not on the ususal lists of attorneys.
The official reason was that the judge wanted someone who could handle the number of distractions in the case. Also the judge said he didn't know of any attorney's who wanted the case.
http://www.wzzm13.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=72141
Were Grant and the nanny having an affair?
http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070308/METRO/703080387/1014
http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070307/UPDATE/703070472/1003