Mom Says Family Will Never Live In Home Again! What?

[grandmaj]

Everyone read and thank this post. I will reopen in a few minutes once I know you have read the rules.

 

[grandmaj]

Thread open. Please be careful when stating something as theory and link to all facts. xoxoxo

 

[Melanie]

I think studies have shown that nothing comforts a child taken out of their home better than sleeping in their own bed.

JMO

As hard as it is for the parents, ya have to think about the boys. Maybe they were scared and wanted to move out who knows. I have to trust that the parents are making the best decision for the family. In time maybe they will come back.

But like you said, there's nothing better than your own bed..unless you're afraid of being kidnapped from it. I can say what I would want to do, but I have no idea what the family is thinking.

Where are you baby Lisa!!!

MOO

Mel

 

[lag28wa]

I think the "traumatic event" (my words, not DB's) would just be the perceived loss of her child, no matter what circumstances led to that loss. But I am just guessing as to what she might feel since she didn't elaborate on her statement like she was laying on the psychologist's couch.

As far as moving or staying, people are different, I have honestly no idea what I'd do in her shoes, though I do agree it does depend somewhat on what actually happened. Some people like to avoid memories and some people like to embrace and cherish them, just different stroke for different folks, different ways of coping. Some things work better for others than ourselves.

As far as selling the house, I think it might be difficult, but not impossible to sell it. Certainly none of us would buy it, but I think there are still a lot of people out there who aren't up on this case (sadly). Plus there are plenty of people out there in a house, probably sleeping in THE bedroom that someone may have passed quietly in their sleep in, whether they know it or not.

All JMHO.

 

[Jaxson]

When my niece was killed everyone joined together to send the family away for a week and we moved them out of their house and found them another place (temporarily) because they could not go back to their home and nothing happened in their house. She was hit by a car while riding her bike (4 years old and crossing the opening of a driveway, her dad watched it happen, guy who hit her never saw her because of the cars parked along the road and he was driving a very tall van)

 

[grandmaj]

The mother never made the comment about a traumatic event....... The original post was not clearly separated between the news story and the poster's comment.

The mother was never attributed to having said anything about a traumatic event. Only that she was not going back to live in the house.

 

[Jaxson]

And I wouldn't go back either. All the wonderful memories in that house have been destroyed. You can never get them back. MOO

 

[tiredblondy]

Ok I can only take this from my perspective but I was thinking about why I'd never go back to my house...this is all I can conclude about myself- I'd have to be scared to death of someone!

Otherwise, I'd go back. If for no other reason than to be where my daughter and I had bonded and played.

I guess I'm very different but as I said above the ONLY reason I would not go back was if I was scared for my life or my children's lives.

Now what would cause me to feel that way? Hmmmm(1) being threatened by someone so I'd want to stay with many people around me. That's all I can think of. Anyone else...look at it from your perspective.

 

[tiredblondy]

And I wouldn't go back either. All the wonderful memories in that house have been destroyed. You can never get them back. MOO

See that's where you and I are different? But that's what makes WS great. We are all different and have different perspectives..

If someone threatened me or my children as they were on their way out with Lisa then I'd be scared to death to return.

Otherwise I'd want to be near the last place she was as long as possible.

 

[CarrieBean]

Ok I can only take this from my perspective but I was thinking about why I'd never go back to my house...this is all I can conclude about myself- I'd have to be scared to death of someone!

Otherwise, I'd go back. If for no other reason than to be where my daughter and I had bonded and played.

I guess I'm very different but as I said above the ONLY reason I would not go back was if I was scared for my life or my children's lives.

Now what would cause me to feel that way? Hmmmm(1) being threatened by someone so I'd want to stay with many people around me. That's all I can think of. Anyone else...look at it from your perspective.

The part I bolded would do it. After one child going missing, I'd be a scared to death of it happening again.

 

[iamnotagolem]

I honestly have no idea if I'd go back to the house or not. But we moved away from the house my daughter was born in and where we lived until she was 10ish months old. When I look at pictures of the house, I cry, I remember bringing her home and napping w/her. I remember her starting to crawl there, I remember her learning to walk there. I remember the first time she pulled up. I remember her playing in her jenny jump up in the doorway, I remember playing on the floor in her room w/her toys. Almost every memory for the first 10 months of her life are in that house.

I really see very clearly both sides of the argument, not wanting the daily reminder that someone invaded your house and stole your baby. Or the enjoying sitting in her room in the rocking chair remembering all the great memories.

 

[vlpate]

The truth is none of you know what you would do until you are in that position. No matter what you think now, you can not imagine the pain of having a child ripped from your life. Just because someone would want to leave the home where they last saw their child means nothing. Plenty of people kill their children and live in the same house without batting an eye. So that for me means nothing.

The problem is the Susan Smiths and Casey Anthony's of this world have poisoned us to believe first the parents were involved.

It is a shame. A big shame.

BEM: Not at all - the parents are looked to first for two reasons
1. Approximately 300 children are killed by their parents in the U.S. EVERY year
2. Filicide, when it involves fatal battering, accounts for 80 percent of homicides of children younger than 1.

Susan Smith and Casey Anthony weren't news, they just happened to make the news.

 

[vlpate]

If that were the last place I saw my child, I would stay there, hoping and praying that someone would bring her back there.

Exactly. Not that there's a direct quote, but if this is what either of them said, I find it odd that she would not want to bring her baby home and maybe get a more vocal dog and a burglar alarm.

People don't go home when the child has been murdered in their home...

I don't know the answer to this, but does anyone know if Polly Klaas' mom moved? I think I would have in that case, just not sure.

 

[shefner]

There is a difference between the accidental death of a child in a home....and an abduction of a child in a home. If you read alot about child abductions, you will see that the parents almost never leave the home. They are always hopeful that the child will return. They usually hold onto that home like a shrine...waiting to welcome back their son or daughter.
One mom said, "How will he know where we are if we move? We can't leave. We have to be here. This is where he knows we are."
So sad....

 

[MyBelle]

A theory based on what? Has there been a single smidgen of indication that this house is in foreclosure? Solid evidence of foreclosure is easy enough to come by, so to come forth and present a theory based on a hypothesized, unsubstantiated "foreclosure" is going pretty far afield, and yes, adding more kindling to the rumor bonfire.

I initially stated it as a question. My theory is based on the mother's statement the family would not return as well as the reality of having a mortgage along with insurance and property taxes. The only way I know to walk away from a property is if it is foreclosed upon or sold.

JMO

 

[Littleone48]

Ok I can only take this from my perspective but I was thinking about why I'd never go back to my house...this is all I can conclude about myself- I'd have to be scared to death of someone!

Otherwise, I'd go back. If for no other reason than to be where my daughter and I had bonded and played.

I guess I'm very different but as I said above the ONLY reason I would not go back was if I was scared for my life or my children's lives.

Now what would cause me to feel that way? Hmmmm(1) being threatened by someone so I'd want to stay with many people around me. That's all I can think of. Anyone else...look at it from your perspective.

Have you ever had your home broken into? Many years ago my business was broken into and it was a very emotional time for myself and my employees. I couldn't sit in my office and not think about how someone had raided my space. I would actually would get shivers. I had to replace my chair because I just couldn't stand the thought of sitting in the same chair that the jerk who broke in did. Before this happened if anyone ever told me that I would feel this way I would've thought they were crazy.

This wasn't the first incident for them. Their car had been broken into recently and it bothered them enough to save the cigarette butts or to remember that the thief had left them there. Now their baby girl was taken right out of her bed. There would be no way that I could ever live there again and feel safe. Even if Baby Lisa comes home safe I would still have to leave the home. Someone uninvited came into my the only space that I consider "safe"...it is no longer safe to me.

 

[Littleone48]

There is a difference between the accidental death of a child in a home....and an abduction of a child in a home. If you read alot about child abductions, you will see that the parents almost never leave the home. They are always hopeful that the child will return. They usually hold onto that home like a shrine...waiting to welcome back their son or daughter.
One mom said, "How will he know where we are if we move? We can't leave. We have to be here. This is where he knows we are."
So sad....

These are older kids....big difference. Baby Lisa in 10 years will have no idea where she lived when she was taken. The case that this quote comes from, the boy was IIRC 10 or 12.

 

[MyBelle]

Have you ever had your home broken into? Many years ago my business was broken into and it was a very emotional time for myself and my employees. I couldn't sit in my office and not think about how someone had raided my space. I would actually would get shivers. I had to replace my chair because I just couldn't stand the thought of sitting in the same chair that the jerk who broke in did. Before this happened if anyone ever told me that I would feel this way I would've thought they were crazy.

This wasn't the first incident for them. Their car had been broken into recently and it bothered them enough to save the cigarette butts or to remember that the thief had left them there. Now their baby girl was taken right out of her bed. There would be no way that I could ever live there again and feel safe. Even if Baby Lisa comes home safe I would still have to leave the home. Someone uninvited came into my the only space that I consider "safe"...it is no longer safe to me.

BBM. They locked the vehicle, that didn't stop a thief yet it didn't 'bother them' enough to remember to lock the door to their house? I can certainly understand why some might find their credibility lacking.

JMO

 

[Littleone48]

BBM. They locked the vehicle, that didn't stop a thief yet it didn't 'bother them' enough to remember to lock the door to their house? I can certainly understand why some might find their credibility lacking.

JMO

Maybe it wasn't Mom's duty to check doors and windows before they went to bed? From what I understand this was a new routine as it was Dad's first time working these hours. I can see it happening...actually I am always yelled at by hubby because I go around in the AM and open all windows however I never close them at night before I go to bed...it has always been his job to check the doors and windows.

Do we know for a fact that the door was left unlocked? Could it be possible that someone picked the lock?

 

[tiredblondy]

Have you ever had your home broken into? Many years ago my business was broken into and it was a very emotional time for myself and my employees. I couldn't sit in my office and not think about how someone had raided my space. I would actually would get shivers. I had to replace my chair because I just couldn't stand the thought of sitting in the same chair that the jerk who broke in did. Before this happened if anyone ever told me that I would feel this way I would've thought they were crazy.

This wasn't the first incident for them. Their car had been broken into recently and it bothered them enough to save the cigarette butts or to remember that the thief had left them there. Now their baby girl was taken right out of her bed. There would be no way that I could ever live there again and feel safe. Even if Baby Lisa comes home safe I would still have to leave the home. Someone uninvited came into my the only space that I consider "safe"...it is no longer safe to me.

Yes Little one, my house has been broken into and robbed. I'm still here. This is my home and now prison is his. It just made me furious not scared.