NC NC - Madalina Cojocari, 11, parents reported missing Dec 15, last seen at home, Cornelius, 23 Nov 2022

[steff13]

Did they even bother to call her off school every day? My daughter got COVID right after school started this year, and she had to be off for five days from the time of her positive test (school policy) and if anyone in the family got it from her, she would have had to have been off an additional five until that person recovered. It seems like it would have been easy to concoct a story to assuage suspicion for this period of time. Are they just stupid?

 

[SpicyFruit]

Not sure why there's eagerness to defend DC. She had three weeks to do something and she didn't. Was protected in the courtroom. Lied to school. End of story. Guilty. Nothing's going to convince me otherwise and seeing all this stuff about how she's a victim is disgusting to me.

For me, its not seeing The Mother as a victim, they are both hiding something, for all we know, she is the abuser in the situation. Maybe she killed her daughter and is trying to frame her husband.

I was just trying to think of something that may fit if there is some truth to her timeline.

For me, it also just seems that he had more power in the relationship. At least from the outside looking in. He was way older, he had a steady income, she did not, she previously posted about losing weight to re-marry, she was from another country. All of these could have been held over her head and even her daughter's head to hold control.

It seems as though neither is on the others side, but they also are not telling the truth. So maybe we can be hopeful that Madalina is still out there somewhere?

 

[steff13]

I believe it was a combination of factors:

• M's stepfather was arrested 10 hours prior to her mother's arrest
• IIRC, M's stepfather is a US citizen, while her mother is an immigrant with English as a second language, and there is a large age gap between the two -- both factors which could potentially create a misbalanced power dynamic in their relationship
• When M's mother was finally arrested, she had the red marks on her face which could have been from a bruise or injury

But it's difficult to imagine that if the marks on her eyes were evidence of abuse that she would have been arrested at all. IMO, they arrested him first to see if she would talk without him present, and when she wouldn't they arrested her too.

 

[SpicyFruit]

Did they even bother to call her off school every day? My daughter got COVID right after school started this year, and she had to be off for five days from the time of her positive test (school policy) and if anyone in the family got it from her, she would have had to have been off an additional five until that person recovered. It seems like it would have been easy to concoct a story to assuage suspicion for this period of time. Are they just stupid?

I think that is what makes this whole thing hard to grasp. They did not seem to even try to hide her missing until everyone noticed she was missing. Even then, it was only Mom who seemed to step up and attempt to have some excuse.

 

[SpicyFruit]

But it's difficult to imagine that if the marks on her eyes were evidence of abuse that she would have been arrested at all. IMO, they arrested him first to see if she would talk without him present, and when she wouldn't they arrested her too.

I have wondered if the marks around her eye could have even been from whatever caused the damage to the car...

 

[steff13]

I think that is what makes this whole thing hard to grasp. They did not seem to even try to hide her missing until everyone noticed she was missing. Even then, it was only Mom who seemed to step up and attempt to have some excuse.

They could have easily said MC went back to Moldova to live with her father. The school likely would have never checked. It's mind-boggling.

 

[georgiajean]

I just noticed that she is wearing jeans and a white t-shirt in the bus video. Same as the description of what she was last wearing.

Also, with the not wearing a sweatshirt, The students were all wearing logo sweatshirts. Pittsburg Pirates, VANS, and a Wildcats (can't figure out who the Wildcats are, it is not their middle school (a horse) or high school (Huskies)
If it is the "in" thing to wear sports logo sweatshirts, and if she did not have one, I can totally understand stuffing it in a pack or not wearing one at all. I remember being that kid struggling to fit in. I would have gone cold rather than risk a social faux pas.

 

[KPO]

Those people should be paying attention to the case of Lori Vallow Daybell, who has been in jail for 2 years for murdering two of her children. Its a fascinating (and horrifying) case, working its way towards trial. Nobody who follows it is under any illusion that mother Daybell is anything but a poisonous snake, certainly not a victim, in my opinion only.

People hope/hoped that Madalina was safe somewhere. The only way that made any sense was if her mother hid her. The only reason for that would be if it was an abusive household and the mother was protecting her. It wasn't even a specific rumor that started that theory. It was simply what people preferred to believe rather than to believe that this kind of evil exists in the world.

This has been compared to Lori Vallow Daybell by some and there are definitely similarities, but it's too early to make that leap without additional facts.

If something happened the Madalina, it likely happened in the home. If so, there will be evidence of it. Only LE knows what clues were inside the home, what family members or friends have said, etc. It will be interesting to see what information is released next. I've seen nothing on how these 2 individuals met which seems unusual since she came from Moldova. There is surely a lot of history that would give clues as to the state of the marriage and the mental well-being of both parents.

 

[Alethea]

I believe it was a combination of factors:

• M's stepfather was arrested 10 hours prior to her mother's arrest
• IIRC, M's stepfather is a US citizen, while her mother is an immigrant with English as a second language, and there is a large age gap between the two -- both factors which could potentially create a misbalanced power dynamic in their relationship
• When M's mother was finally arrested, she had the red marks on her face which could have been from a bruise or injury

Agreed. I also viewed all the conversation on this thread as speculating as to possible outcomes. No one knows for sure what happened. I didn't feel like anyone was particularly defending the mother, just trying to piece together WHY a mother might not report her child missing aside from the obvious answer of that she killed her.

If we all just said: obvious, mom killed her daughter, there'd be nothing to discuss.

The situation is weird. You have (IMO) a mail order bride with a small child living with a guy old enough to be her dad and Madalina's grandpa. The situation is just weirder on its face than what we often see of parents with a long history of arrests and abuse finally arrested for murder.

 

[KPO]

I just noticed that she is wearing jeans and a white t-shirt in the bus video. Same as the description of what she was last wearing.

Also, with the not wearing a sweatshirt, The students were all wearing logo sweatshirts. Pittsburg Pirates, VANS, and a Wildcats (can't figure out who the Wildcats are, it is not their middle school (a horse) or high school (Huskies)
If it is the "in" thing to wear sports logo sweatshirts, and if she did not have one, I can totally understand stuffing it in a pack or not wearing one at all. I remember being that kid struggling to fit in. I would have gone cold rather than risk a social faux pas.

Davidson College which is only a couple miles away - Wildcats.

 

[sleuth_truths]

Where did the initial idea that Mom is possibly a victim even come from??? Just curious. Sorry if I missed it somewhere, but I am not understanding why many seem to think she could be scared. Were there prior reports that she had been hurt by him? It’s obvious that their home life is not “normal” but I’m wondering why Mom specifically was being seen as a victim at first.

I believe I was the first to toss out the possibility at the very beginning of the discussion during the many hours between stepdad being arrested and learning Mom had been arrested. We were considering that she may have been helping LE (and that's why she hadn't been arrested). Then her mugshot appeared to, potentially, back that up. It was just us trying to make sense of the little we knew at the time.

 

[KPO]

But it's difficult to imagine that if the marks on her eyes were evidence of abuse that she would have been arrested at all. IMO, they arrested him first to see if she would talk without him present, and when she wouldn't they arrested her too.

Even if you're abused, it's still against the law to not report a missing child. She still would have been charged with that. LE might overlook it if the girl were 15 and the parents waited 48 hours. Right or wrong, that does happen. Parents check out popular hangout spots, contact parents of friends, etc.

This girl was 11! If an 11 year old isn't in the house when you wake up in the morning, you SHOULD worry. You should be calling neighbors, friends and asking for help.

 

[sleuth_truths]

Many jumped to that conclusion based on her mugshot. Red markings on her forehead. IMO, it's just stereotyping. People can't fathom a mother hurting her child therefore it must be the stepfather...and she must not be saying anything because she's afraid. Also, her FB video about violence. But she could have been talking about her own thoughts of violence in the video.

Respectfully, that wasn't how the possibility of the mother potentially being a victim began. Nor do I believe anyone who considered it was stereotyping. I'd wager to say that many here have experienced abusive women and, sadly, some of those abusive women were their own mothers. IMO.

 

[Allabouttrial]

Not sure why there's eagerness to defend DC. She had three weeks to do something and she didn't. Was protected in the courtroom. Lied to school. End of story. Guilty. Nothing's going to convince me otherwise and seeing all this stuff about how she's a victim is disgusting to me.

It's all been speculation up to this point and never stated as fact that she's a victim. Sorry if that disgusts you but everyone is entitled to their own opinion and theories, whether you agree with them or not.

 

[sleuth_truths]

Not sure why there's eagerness to defend DC. She had three weeks to do something and she didn't. Was protected in the courtroom. Lied to school. End of story. Guilty. Nothing's going to convince me otherwise and seeing all this stuff about how she's a victim is disgusting to me.

This opinion has been formed with information that wasn't available to those of us discussing Madalina's disappearance in the very beginning.

 

[steff13]

Even if you're abused, it's still against the law to not report a missing child. She still would have been charged with that. LE might overlook it if the girl were 15 and the parents waited 48 hours. Right or wrong, that does happen. Parents check out popular hangout spots, contact parents of friends, etc.

This girl was 11! If an 11 year old isn't in the house when you wake up in the morning, you SHOULD worry. You should be calling neighbors, friends and asking for help.

Of course it's still against the law, but we see all the time parents who don't report right away and they aren't charged. I don't think it's a forgone conclusion that she would have been charged with that. If they found she had been abused, and she had directed them to where MC is, I think there's a distinct possibility that she wouldn't have been charged.

 

[sleuth_truths]

Madalina Cojocari case: What is the law in North Carolina for reporting a missing child?

Caylee's Law. The sweet little one that first drew me to Websleuths.

 

[Allabouttrial]

Of course it's still against the law, but we see all the time parents who don't report right away and they aren't charged. I don't think it's a forgone conclusion that she would have been charged with that. If they found she had been abused, and she had directed them to where MC is, I think there's a distinct possibility that she wouldn't have been charged.

I agree. The arrest is what swayed me to believe that there's a good chance that she's not a victim in all this.

That being said, I haven't totally discounted the possibility. I'm waiting on more info.

 

[ifindedout]

Is it common for mail-order brides to already have children? Google is no help, they assume I actually want to order one. lol

 

[KPO]

Respectfully, that wasn't how the possibility of the mother potentially being a victim began. Nor do I believe anyone who considered it was stereotyping. I'd wager to say that many here have experienced abusive women and, sadly, some of those abusive women were their own mothers. IMO.

Stereotyping may be the wrong word and I didn't list that as "THE" reason. I gave multiple reasons. I realize that a lot of women (and men) are abused and a lot of people have personal experiences with it. But this mother didn't report her daughter missing for over 3 weeks and people started talking about her as though she may be a victim, yet there were no facts to support that. To my knowledge, there is no domestic violence history known to the public.

So as I said, there were multiple reasons. Red marks on her face, people wanting to believe that the girl is safe and the mom was protecting her and yes, I said stereotyping. Personal experience, statistics or stereotyping - it wasn't based on anything factually known. People also jump to the conclusion that stepfathers/boyfriends are likely suspects. That may be based on personal experience or statistics but isn't that still a form of stereotyping?