NC NC - Madalina Cojocari, 11, parents reported missing Dec 15, last seen at home, Cornelius, 23 Nov 2022

[Ontario Mom]

<modsnip>

Personally, I have NO sympathy for either. They both knew that Madalina was missing and neither reported it. Statistically, it's more likely that the stepfather caused harm to Madalina. But statistically, what kind of mother stays silent when her only daughter has been missing for 3 weeks?

IMO, there's no defense no matter what the scenario. No matter what horrific fact anyone uncovers, both DC and CP deserve to stay behind bars. They both had ample opportunity to do something differently and neither did.

<modsnip - quoted post was snipped so response was also>

Once CP was in jail and posing zero threat to anyone, and DC still didn't come clean to LE on the whereabouts of MC, she no longer deserved any benefit of doubt.

jmo

 

[Laughing]

<modsnip - quoted post was snipped so response was, too> Once CP was in jail and posing zero threat to anyone, and DC still didn't come clean to LE on the whereabouts of MC, she no longer deserved any benefit of doubt.

jmo

However -- DC was raised in a different culture, and may not have know about resources available to her here in the US.

Agree that after CP was arrested was a good time to trust someone, possibly the school resource officer she had already met imho.

 

[Chelly]

<modsnip - quoted post was snipped so response was, too> Once CP was in jail and posing zero threat to anyone, and DC still didn't come clean to LE on the whereabouts of MC, she no longer deserved any benefit of doubt.

jmo

I can only guess DC believes she is safer, for now, to remain silent. Maybe she plays a larger role in M's disappearance than I've believed. Maybe her attorney has advised her not to talk. Maybe she's waiting for more evidence to be revealed by LE. Maybe each parent is blaming the other for M's disappearance. It's a big kettle of stinky fish.

Maybe we will learn more at tomorrow's hearing.

11-Year-Old Madalina Cojocari Still Missing, Parents Due In Court Wednesday - WCCB Charlotte's CW

Cornelius Police issued a statement on Facebook Tuesday afternoon regarding the department's investigation.

www.wccbcharlotte.com

 

[Chelly]

Madalina Cojocari's mother, stepdad to appear in court Wednesday

Madalina Cojocari is described as an 11-year-old white female, weighing 90 pounds, with brown hair and brown eyes.

www.wcnc.com

A few more details on M's disappearance plus timeline.

 

[Observant-ADHD-ENFP-BSc]

<modsnip - quoted post was removed>

For my own reasoning, I have been trying to figure out why she didn't do the right thing because it just doesn't make sense otherwise. It's not to make an excuse for her at all. It's more so my curious mind can settle if that makes sense.
It remains that DC did not call authorities and did not reach out for help when M went missing, but why?
If it was because she had done something to her, I don't think she would have bothered going to the school or talking with the school. She could have kept ignoring them or even said that M had gone to stay in Moldova for a year, anything like that. It just doesn't make sense logically for the circumstances to turn out like they have if she had done something to M.
Unless it was an accident and she is too far in and overwhelmed, I don't know. I'm just trying to find a reason for my own mind to understand the situation. I am not trying to excuse her. Just trying to get to the bottom of a perplexing situation.

MOO/JMO

 

[Ontario Mom]

However -- DC was raised in a different culture, and may not have know about resources available to her here in the US.

Agree that after CP was arrested was a good time to trust someone, possibly the school resource officer she had already met imho.

DC appears to me (from what we've all seen of her in the MSM links shared) to be a competent and capable adult, who has lived in the US for many years, at least since 2017 when she signed her name alongside CP to buy the house MC went missing from. She may have been raised in a different culture, but we have zero evidence to suggest she even needed resources that were available to her.

jmo

 

[SherryLock]

I wonder why the mother's bond is higher than the stepfather's. The stepfather's bond is $200,000 but the mother's bond is $250,000 plus the stipulation that she'd have to wear an ankle monitor if she bonds out, which I did not see for him. Just variation due to possibly having different judges or more?

 

[FunkyMonkey]

I wonder why the mother's bond is higher than the stepfather's. The stepfather's bond is $200,000 but the mother's bond is $250,000 plus the stipulation that she'd have to wear an ankle monitor if she bonds out, which I did not see for him. Just variation due to different judges or more?

My guess is likelihood to flee the country. She has ties outside the US, while we don’t know that he does. MOO

 

[Alethea]

Agree 100%. For my own reasoning, I have been trying to figure out why she didn't do the right thing because it just doesn't make sense otherwise. It's not to make an excuse for her at all. It's more so my curious mind can settle if that makes sense.
It remains that DC did not call authorities and did not reach out for help when M went missing, but why?
If it was because she had done something to her, I don't think she would have bothered going to the school or talking with the school. She could have kept ignoring them or even said that M had gone to stay in Moldova for a year, anything like that. It just doesn't make sense logically for the circumstances to turn out like they have if she had done something to M.
Unless it was an accident and she is too far in and overwhelmed, I don't know. I'm just trying to find a reason for my own mind to understand the situation. I am not trying to excuse her. Just trying to get to the bottom of a perplexing situation.

MOO/JMO

Agreed. Without actual evidence all we can do is speculate. There are weird aspects to this case that seem to make it a little more complicated than the 20 year old new parents who "lose" their baby while on a drug binge that we've seen before. Discussing one or another aspects does not mean you endorse it or think it's good. I think that should go without saying on a true crime discussion forum.

What I think is weird is that they didn't have any story at all when confronted. You had weeks and you didn't come up with an explanation or a story? I mean even Casey Anthony had her bizarre and changing stories. If Diana intentionally killed her daughter because she was tired of being a mom, couldn't she have come up with *some* explanation for the school? M went back to Moldova, M went to live with her biodad, M is being homeschooled. But to just show up and say *gestures wildly* who knows where she is! It's not normal!

That doesn't mean she's innocent or not involved or frankly that she didn't just murder her sweet daughter in cold blood and then not even bother to think up a lie. But it's unusual and I think that's why people are talking about alternative possible explanations.

 

[wnk]

<snip>

What I think is weird is that they didn't have any story at all when confronted. You had weeks and you didn't come up with an explanation or a story? I mean even Casey Anthony had her bizarre and changing stories. If Diana intentionally killed her daughter because she was tired of being a mom, couldn't she have come up with *some* explanation for the school? M went back to Moldova, M went to live with her biodad, M is being homeschooled. But to just show up and say *gestures wildly* who knows where she is! It's not normal!

That doesn't mean she's innocent or not involved or frankly that she didn't just murder her sweet daughter in cold blood and then not even bother to think up a lie. But it's unusual and I think that's why people are talking about alternative possible explanations.

bolding mine

MOO/Speculation --

IMO, I think we're looking at two people who do not have a happy marriage or good communication. The matter-of-fact way that MomDC talked about violence in the home in her FB video makes me think that marital dysfunction is something that she's accepted as "normal" in her life, and that this could be a toxic relationship for both of them, where the abuse goes both ways.

Sadly, IMO, I think that M ended up in the middle of her parents' arguments either on the night of Monday Nov 21 or early the next morning, and they have been in conflict since then about what to do about it. The two of them may have had very different conflict styles that may have complicated matters. My guess would be that MomDC was a "teddy bear"/accommodation conflict style (she said herself that she hadn't wanted to cause marital conflict by reporting M) and that SDadCP was a "turtle"/avoidant conflict style.

(Image source: Styles of Conflict Management - A Global Community Making Learners Into Leaders - Nobel Explorers)

Maybe MomDC even wanted to file a missing person report immediately but knew that she couldn't because there was still evidence in the house to be dealt with, so she agreed (very accommodatingly) to wait until after SDadCP's "trip to Michigan" to deal with the body, but then maybe when SDadCP got back, he kept putting off dealing with the rest of the evidence (furniture and clothing with blood on it?), using excuses about how he was waiting for the right time so as not to look suspicious. And it became a power struggle, because MomDC kept getting emails and phone calls from the school and couldn't even talk to her own family because she knew that they'd ask about M, but meanwhile, SDadCP was going about his daily life like nothing was different and didn't see why MomDC was making such a big deal about it -- he'd get around to dealing with the rest of the evidence when he got to it (in a turtle-like, avoidant way). So it became that contentious "honey-do" list item that she needed him to take care of, but he always had some excuse not to deal with it right then.

So when MomDC talked to the counselor on Dec 14 about the truancy, she was still pretending like everything was okay and (in an accommodating, teddy bear-like way) agreeing to bring M to school the next day. (Because yes, of course she's fine; why wouldn't she be?) and when she showed up without M and with some other lame excuse, the story quickly started unraveling, because no, I don't think they ever agreed on a story.

 

[KPO]

Agree 100%. For my own reasoning, I have been trying to figure out why she didn't do the right thing because it just doesn't make sense otherwise. It's not to make an excuse for her at all. It's more so my curious mind can settle if that makes sense.
It remains that DC did not call authorities and did not reach out for help when M went missing, but why?
If it was because she had done something to her, I don't think she would have bothered going to the school or talking with the school. She could have kept ignoring them or even said that M had gone to stay in Moldova for a year, anything like that. It just doesn't make sense logically for the circumstances to turn out like they have if she had done something to M.
Unless it was an accident and she is too far in and overwhelmed, I don't know. I'm just trying to find a reason for my own mind to understand the situation. I am not trying to excuse her. Just trying to get to the bottom of a perplexing situation.

MOO/JMO

Abuse, culture, financially dependent on her husband, brainwashed...these are just a few of the possible reasons that I've heard.

None of these things will help make more sense of it in my eyes.

She didn't even call her husband when Madalina went missing! Why? Maybe because she's the one that harmed her. Maybe because she knew that he had Madalina and she was in on everything.

1 - If she didn't think he would harm the girl, wouldn't she call simply to ask if Madalina went with him?

2 - If she did think that he would harm the girl, wouldn't she call to beg him not to?

3 - If she believed that her husband put their family in danger and Madalina was kidnapped, wouldn't she call to let her husband know?

IMO, not making that first phone call to her husband speaks volumes as to her involvement.

 

[sleuth_truths]

Here's a small update. The parents are due in court on Wednesday. Also, if this article is accurate, a male family member was recently at the house and drove away when questioned. I wonder who he is.

11-Year-Old Madalina Cojocari Still Missing, Parents Due In Court Wednesday - WCCB Charlotte's CW

Cornelius Police issued a statement on Facebook Tuesday afternoon regarding the department's investigation.

www.wccbcharlotte.com

Jumping off your link @SherryLock.

The man in this video who wouldn't talk to reporters is CP's brother as listed by CP in the 'family & relationship' section of CP's Facebook before it was modified/locked down.

Just speculating, but since he has access to the house, it's my opinion he also has access to CP's online accounts. JMO.

 

[Alethea]

Abuse, culture, financially dependent on her husband, brainwashed...these are just a few of the possible reasons that I've heard.

None of these things will help make more sense of it in my eyes.

She didn't even call her husband when Madalina went missing! Why? Maybe because she's the one that harmed her. Maybe because she knew that he had Madalina and she was in on everything.

1 - If she didn't think he would harm the girl, wouldn't she call simply to ask if Madalina went with him?

2 - If she did think that he would harm the girl, wouldn't she call to beg him not to?

3 - If she believed that her husband put their family in danger and Madalina was kidnapped, wouldn't she call to let her husband know?

IMO, not making that first phone call to her husband speaks volumes as to her involvement.

Since she's a criminal mastermind who planned and murdered her daughter, obviously not influenced by any social or environment factors, why didn't she come up with an excuse - any excuse - for what happened to her daughter? That's like intentional murder 101.

 

[SherryLock]

Abuse, culture, financially dependent on her husband, brainwashed...these are just a few of the possible reasons that I've heard.

None of these things will help make more sense of it in my eyes.

She didn't even call her husband when Madalina went missing! Why? Maybe because she's the one that harmed her. Maybe because she knew that he had Madalina and she was in on everything.

1 - If she didn't think he would harm the girl, wouldn't she call simply to ask if Madalina went with him?

2 - If she did think that he would harm the girl, wouldn't she call to beg him not to?

3 - If she believed that her husband put their family in danger and Madalina was kidnapped, wouldn't she call to let her husband know?

IMO, not making that first phone call to her husband speaks volumes as to her involvement.

Of course we don't know much at this point and imo it's hard to make sense of anyone killing a child for any reason, or covering up for it (if that's what happened here).

That said, statistically, the stepfather is far more often the culprit than the mother, as far as I know. And here we're also starting out with quite a power imbalance, on paper at least. The stepfather is much older, physically larger, the only breadwinner(?) and American, with the wife being from an impoverished country and probably isolated.

Also, I could easily see an abuse victim (if that's what she was) not speaking right away even though her husband had been locked up. For all she could have known at the time, he might have soon been released. And she could have reasonably feared for her own life, or that he'd kill her child (if he told her the child was only missing) or her family members in Moldova, whether on his own or through an accomplice. I mean, if he did kill her child, it's not farfetched to think he'd do everything he could to keep her quiet about it. There's also a deeply ingrained mind warp that can go along with domestic abuse, that might take some undoing. And her possibly not knowing how trustworthy the American authorities are, especially when they're rumored to not be trustworthy where she comes from.

There are also a couple of (slight, granted) indications that he was possibly abusive or at least controlling. Her father said he didn't like her to speak to her family, which is not a good sign imo. And she herself said that he put the family in danger and that she feared conflict with him. That sounded to me like her starting to point the finger at him, if it checks out as true.

All speculation, to be sure. But after all, something dire is going on here and the above imo is not a ridiculous theory.

It's also possible, though imo not nearly as statistically likely, that she is the main perpetrator and has her much older husband "wrapped around her little finger." Or that they acted equally.

So I guess we're kinda doing some amateur profiling here, which may or may not turn out to be correct.

IF she is a domestic abuse victim, she might talk with a little more time locked up away from him or more reassurance or whatever. Maybe one or both of them have told LE much more already. Personally, I don't see how these two could be any match for seasoned crime investigators for long.

ALL MOO

 

[Kristin Esq.]

Hey everyone, I'm going to read through this thread. I live close by so this one has been difficult, even though I don't know her.

 

[SherryLock]

bolding mine

MOO/Speculation --

IMO, I think we're looking at two people who do not have a happy marriage or good communication. The matter-of-fact way that MomDC talked about violence in the home in her FB video makes me think that marital dysfunction is something that she's accepted as "normal" in her life, and that this could be a toxic relationship for both of them, where the abuse goes both ways.

After listening to DC's FB video in full a couple of times, I think she was kind of preaching that violence is a primitive way of dealing with the intense emotions that we all have, and that it's better to process those emotions by meditating or thinking happy thoughts. It sounded a little airy-fairy to me tbh but I think it's a stretch to connect the video alone to her normalizing violence in her own personal life.

Does anyone know what her religion or church were? I think I saw it but now I can't find it. Also, if her husband shared her faith? I hope it wasn't some kind of cult.

All MOO

 

[Ontario Mom]

Since she's a criminal mastermind who planned and murdered her daughter, obviously not influenced by any social or environment factors, why didn't she come up with an excuse - any excuse - for what happened to her daughter? That's like intentional murder 101.

Why she didn't come up with an excuse I guess might be answered with the other question of why she didn't report her daughter missing in the first place. Since neither make a darned bit of sense. Or why she lied to the school and said she'd bring her in for a meeting.

Obviously she was covering for someone, either herself or her husband but why not just say "I think he killed her" or something, anything, other than literally nothing at all to help LE find her? I suspect eventually the entire truth will come out and it still won't make a lick of sense as to why she didn't step up for her daughter.

jmo

 

[Parsnip]

This poor child, most likely deceased at the hands of one or more of her trusted caregivers…sad enough. Though sadder still, not unusual on WS. All imo.

But for me, this case is my biggest WTH? case. We have very little knowledge about the stepdad, and what we know about the mom spins off in so many directions…! DV, home country, wild sm posts, lies, fires, and what the heck with the fate post that sent me off doing bible interpretation research?!?!

And my worst fear is that both caregivers are just going to clam up, and we’ll never actually know what happened to little Madalina and where she is. That would be a travesty, imo.

Please let the DA/grand jury/LE put enough pressure on at least one of them to bring this poor child home to the people who do love her.

 

[Kristin Esq.]

I've lost hope that this girl is alive, unfortunately.

MOO.

 

[Chelly]

Why she didn't come up with an excuse I guess might be answered with the other question of why she didn't report her daughter missing in the first place. Since neither make a darned bit of sense. Or why she lied to the school and said she'd bring her in for a meeting.

Obviously she was covering for someone, either herself or her husband but why not just say "I think he killed her" or something, anything, other than literally nothing at all to help LE find her? I suspect eventually the entire truth will come out and it still won't make a lick of sense as to why she didn't step up for her daughter.

jmo

BBM
"...as to why she didn't step up for her daughter"

....Maybe for the same reason women in an abusive relationship don't leave the abuser.

Why victims of domestic abuse don't leave – four experts explain

Coercive control seeks to disempower victims of domestic abuse on every level. Leaving the family home – and disentangling feelings of care – is a complex process.

theconversation.com

Why Don’t I Leave | The Women's Community, Inc.