Found Deceased NC - Mariah Woods, 3, Onslow County, 27 Nov 2017 #7 *Arrest*

[Tortoise]

That's normal time for visitation.

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Ah, so funeral takes place before visitation? I thought it might be the equivalent of what we term a wake.

 

[JaneEyre]

Ah, so funeral takes place before visitation? I thought it might be the equivalent of what we term a wake.

Typically a visitation takes place the evening before a funeral, or the morning just before. In this case, I suspect that the news organization did not mean to say that the funeral was also in the evening, did not want to state exact time for the private service the next day, or that because it's private and small (and possibly being provided for free) that the service may actually be after the visitation in this case, minus the burial if she is not being cremated.

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[BlinkOfAnI]

NC is slow to release 911 calls. If on they rare occasion the do release it before trial ( cough medicine killing) they will distort the voice so it is not much help anyway.

Jmho

Good morning! Reading the court order from Dec 4th denying the release of the 911 call. I can't figure out what is so vitally important in that call that it could jeopardize the case.? I know your a thinker. Thoughts? Also wanted to say TY for recording and sharing the custody hearing on Sherin Mathews. BTW I got a chuckle out of everything going around you and the little glitches while you were trying to video. Loved your helpful & polite little assistant. :yourock:

 

[TNsqrls]

I noticed on FB old pics maybe before the baby was born and she was a good 60 lbs heavier. Guessing she indulged in the same substance abuse as did O Earl. Now she has shed that weight and bleached her hair blonde. It should have been apparent to all her family exactly what was going on. ( meaning the weight, drugs etc)

I noticed that about her weight too. Of course she could've just been dieting & exercising, but I don't think that's the case here. She may have tried to cover to her family by claiming "healthy lifestyle" tho. My family bought that excuse for quite a few years, when my drug use was still in a somewhat controlled stage, but once things got out of control it was obvious to them that there had been signs they missed. Hindsight being what it is, & all... My mom (who is highly educated & observant) really beat herself up over not catching on sooner. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if Kristy was using drugs we can't automatically assume her family would've known. She could've claimed she'd slimmed down & dyed her hair because she was happy & taking better care of herself.

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[Karinna]

Ah, so funeral takes place before visitation? I thought it might be the equivalent of what we term a wake.

What's a visitation? When we had family funerals there is a "viewing", where you can go and see your loved one before the funeral and spend some private time, and then the funeral after that.

 

[BlinkOfAnI]

Typically a visitation takes place the evening before a funeral, or the morning just before. In this case, I suspect that the news organization did not mean to say that the funeral was also in the evening, did not want to state exact time for the private service the next day, or that because it's private and small (and possibly being provided for free) that the service may actually be after the visitation in this case, minus the burial if she is not being cremated.

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I am glad people of the community will be able to pay there respects and get some semblance of closure. I don't know what the plan is on whether the mother will be there or not during the public showing but I can't imagine not being near my child while strangers (even with the sincere and kindest intentions )view or pay respects. Also, I know there will be a great deal of LE protection but I pray it doesn't turn into anything that would take away from the respect and love little Mariah deserves.

 

[Grouchymom]

Now that discussion is allowed of the woman who gave birth to Mariah. I hope it is ok to post this
There is no name-calling, etc...just sincere concerns.

If, as it appears, Earl is responsible for Mariah's death, that certainly does not mean he is the only one responsible.

Turning a blind eye, in the fact of danger, certainly makes one complicit.

If I were to walk to a busy intersection with a 3-yr old, then turn loose of her hand and set her loose into the traffic, chances are she would be hit and killed by a vehicle. The person driving the vehicle would have killed her, BUT I would be also responsible for having her in that foolishly dangerous position in the first place. If I let my 3-yr old play in a cage with a tiger, and the tiger eats her, the tiger is responsible killing her, but I allowed it. If I let my 3 yr old outside to play in a storm, and she is struck by lightning, and she dies...the bolt of electricity is what killed her, but I allowed it
If I bring my child around an angry, violent person, and that person kills her, he/she murdered her, but I allowed it.
NOW, there have been children who crossed busy streets without getting hit...there have been children in cages with animals who were not eaten....there have been people caught in lightning storms who did not perish....but any reasonable caring parent would not risk those odds.

I am so tired of people who get so bent on advocating for women in abusive situations with their children, they fail to advocate for other victims. It makes all of womanhood look bad, by implying we do NOT have a choice. Living with an abuser, and forcing your children to be there as well, is not a one time mistake such as a traffic accident or accidental drowning. It is REPEATEDLY making a selfish choice. It is the equivalent of getting up every day and making the choice to allow your child to live in risk.

We should be better than that. We as women, do not HAVE to live in situations like that, and especially when it is with a man who has NO legal right to be around our child. When a woman gets up and walks away from her husband and her children's father, and makes a choice to start a life with a violent abuser, it is very, very difficult for me to feel anything but disgust. There is no valid excuse for it. Send the children elsewhere.

We ladies are smarter than people think, stronger than people think, and have more critical thinking skills than people think. So when others (sadly often other women) put forth a narrative that we are weak, spineless, brainless victims, it does not set well with me. Although some women live that way, it does not make it normal, nor excusable.

GET OUT! Put your children first...that is what good mothers do. You don't have to live on the "right" side of town, or be highly educated, or have all the privileges of life. It does not take a doctorate degree to show some protective motherly instinct. For goodness' sakes, even wild animals have a protective instinct towards their offspring.

Ladies....do what is right. There is no "relationship"...if you even want to call it that, worth forever losing your children for. Step up! Prove to the world that we can think for ourselves and make mature choices.

I am so angry right now, at abusers and enablers. They all share guilt when a child is harmed.

Your post sounds wonderful on the suface but it is missing some vital information. The machanics of domestic violence/abuse are much more complicated than this post depicts. In the beginning an abuser presents as Prince Charming he/she woos the future victim and goes above and beyond to win them over. They are passionate and considerate, fulfilling wishes and dreams like no one ever has before. Giving the future victim a false sense of safety and comfort. Once the victim is in the trap, a process begins of making the future victim totally dependent on them and separating them from family and friends who could be a support system.

None of this occurs overnight. It is a slow steady process that is almost imperceptible to the victim.(often only seen in retrospect) In this honeymoon phase they are wonderful with the children (there are often children as they make controlling the victim easier), so very attentive and generous. It starts small, the insults and put downs beginning to erode self confidence. “If it wasn’t for me you would lose your head” type moments. What would you do without me? Moving to, you just can’t do anything right. Once the victim has been separated from those who could help and their self esteem eroded the real game begins.

The “I didn’t mean to hurt you” phase. Begins with the playful pinch that bruises or the finger thumped on the chest to make a point. Eventually leading to the first violent outburst. This will be the first time the victim is choked, hit, punched, kicked, or cut. (Biting probably occurred earlier) After this first incident the abuser will apologize profusely, often with gifts and always with some sort of promise to kill or do self harm rather than risk ever hurting the victim again.There will be begging and pleading for forgiveness and the interjection that the victim somehow “made” them do it. The victim, having never seen this frog side of their Prince Charming begins to believe that they must be somehow responsible for this behavior. So they forgive.

Once the abuser has weathered the initial storm things begin to move faster. They become more critical and demanding. They fast track the erosion of any remaining self confidence the victim has and now they have managed to isolate them, there is no support system to help. The next violent outburst will come soon. It will be worse. It will be followed by the same tearful apology perhaps with treats of suicide to keep it from happening again. The blame will lie squarely on the victim. The victim somehow “made” the abuser do it. They must be right because the victim believes they could not have been that wrong about the person they fell in love with. The Prince Charming they knew could not have been this ugly violent little person, so it must be something they did that was the cause. Once the victim appears to have forgiven the abuser the behavior will change, yet again. Now along with the increased criticism and demands with be the threats. If you ever left me threats, the ones that start closing off all thoughts of escape because now it isn’t a matter of leaving, it would be an escape.

The threats cover a lot of territory, they will take the children away, they will make sure the victim never sees the children again, the victim would be killed before being allowed to leave and my favorite the No matter how long it takes I will hunt you down threat. The fact that the victim usually has little to no access to significant financial assists, or support system, and has been psychologically groomed to lose self-confidence and esteem as well as problem solving skills and the threats are real. Up until this point the children have usually been doated upon by the abuser again giving the victim a false sense of security. How could they take the children away from a parent or parental figure who seems to treat them so well, who loves them and is loved by the children. But........

It is a false sense of security because just as sure as the apologies followed early outbursts the children will become a target. It too will start small. The discipline that went just over the line. Not far but just enough to test the victims response. Enough to see if they are totally in the control of the abuser. Of course the apologies follow and the excuses and it doesn’t appear “that” big of a deal. The play that got too rough the little tap that made the child fall. Nothing the victim could see as intentional. It too will increase as the abuser sees he victim is unable to see it for what it really is. Now the threats include secrets, if you ever tell anyone they won’t believe you. You will lose the children. They build until the treats become “I will kill the children before you or anyone could take them away from me.

The victim’s biggest fear is now not their own life but that this monster could get the children and without the victim there to intercede, to try to protect them, god knows what might happen to them. It becomes an inner battle of how to keep the children the safest. In sight where the victim can and does actually put themselves in harms way to try to protect them or take the risk that if they leave, the abuser could and would make good on threats. Life is now 2 tiered. On one hand when life with the abuser is not violent the children are well taken care of and life can be good until something sets the abuser off on the next tirade. The incidents may come often and consistently result in the same level of violence and minor injuries or they can get longer periods of time between incidents and the degree of violence and injuries increase.

Anyone, man woman or child caught up in the horrible cycle of abuse as a victim should not be expected to have the same rational thoughts and abilities to escape as someone who has had the good fortune to not have suffered this fate. It is easy to armchair quarterback how easy the decision to leave should be. I hope that those who have such narrow vision of just how easy that decision should be never has to find out first hand the sad hard truth. I hope that those who can be so judgemental never have a daughter or sister or someone they love in this situation. It is true that until the victim reaches a certain point you can not force help upon them. Just like the alcoholic who is in the control of the disease and can’t be helped until they want it. A victim of abuse can’t be helped until they believe help is possilbe. They have to believe that leaving IS a safer, better choice than staying with the monster they know.

Different things can give that hope back to victims. Some never find the point where hope returns. Many die at the hands of their abuser, many more wish they would and some lose one or more children to them. It is not a choice of keeping a man over their children. It is simply survival. I don’t know if the mother was a victim of Domestic violence in this case. All I know is when I read through her FB early on I saw indicators, not proof just indicators that it could be a possibility. If that is the case I hope she gets all of the counseling and help possible to move to a place of good mental health that will help her move. forward in her life and grieve the lives taken (yes iives, victims are just the walking dead without help). If she was not, then she needs to be prosecuted for her part in whatever actually happened to Mariah.

I know how hard the decision to escape is and how difficult and long that climb back to the living is. Fortunately, I had that moment of clarity and hope that allowed my daughter and I to escape a long time ago. I no longer see abuse every place I look and am willing to see not all relationships include abuse. Everytime a parent or parental figure is involved in the unnatural death of a child I no longer automatically assume Domestic Violence is to blame. However, I do understand it is more likely to have occurred in these situations and needs to be evaluated as a possibility.

People who know me now and didn’t way back in my darker days can not believe that the outspoken, independant, Grouchymom of today could have ever been such a meek cowed down victim in my past. A wise woman told me when I needed it most that the best way to get even was to get ahead and I was fortunate enough after a few years of finding myself to find a husband that was supportive, patient, understanding and willing to help me on the path moving forrward to strength and self worth. (Although I am sure there have been times I the last 25 years he wished I was a little less outspoken LOL )

JMHO

 

[Karinna]

(quote)
Those who wish to pay their respects are asked to visit Jones Funeral Home, located at 303 Chaney Ave. in Jacksonville from 4 to 6 p.m. Wednesday.

Alex Woods said he didn’t want to keep the community away, and he wanted to allow them the time to say goodbye to her, too. He and Craft both said they couldn’t fully express how grateful they are for the support and love from the community in the wake of Mariah’s disappearance.

However, other services for Mariah will be private, according Mariah’s obituary.

“We just want a bit of privacy,” Woods said. “We just want to be able to say our goodbyes as private as we can.”
http://www.jdnews.com/news/20171205/mariahs-father-speaks-on-cps-documents-memories-of-his-daughter

 

[Grouchymom]

What's a visitation? When we had family funerals there is a "viewing", where you can go and see your loved one before the funeral and spend some private time, and then the funeral after that.

Wake, vistation, and viewing are technically one in the same. Some use visitation when there will be no “viewing” of the actual body. In this part if the south visitation is more commonly used. Traditionally all 3 refer to an event before the funeral but some have a memorial service after the burial and refer to it as a visitation or a wake. It is more of a time to gather and show support or share grief when a larger crowd may attend. JMHO

 

[JaneEyre]

What's a visitation? When we had family funerals there is a "viewing", where you can go and see your loved one before the funeral and spend some private time, and then the funeral after that.

It is a viewing, but also typically "visitation" with the family. Essentially, people come, view the body and pay their respects. The family stands just past the casket where friends and family stop to express their sympathies and support. In cases where the person has already been cremated, sometimes the urn is where the casket would be. This is also where flowers, statues, and other gifts sent to the family are lined up. For Catholics, there is also usually a prayer kneeler near the casket for people to stop to pray.

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[BlinkOfAnI]

Ah, so funeral takes place before visitation? I thought it might be the equivalent of what we term a wake.

I think the terms, funeral, wake, service, visitation, calling hours, paying respects, etc., are sometimes used interchangeably especially when one hasn't (gratefully) had a lot of experience with the process. Generally people come to where the deceased is being shown (or not shown) within a specified time period (it varies and could be 3-4 hours at a time over a period of a couple days or simply one time). If the deceased is a young person there are usually more people that attend so it could be spread out 2-3 days. Next there is a gathering whether in a church, the funeral home, at the grave site, or wherever the surviving family chooses. Someone or several (pastor, family, friends etc) may speak about the deceased & offer words of comfort. This may conclude the activities or a further step would be following the hearse and traveling to the cemetery where a few more words are said and last goodbyes given. Trying to write that without using funeral, calling hours, visitation etc made me realize just how confusing it can be. Hope I made sense.

 

[4SAM]

Regarding drug use, does NC take hair samples from children to see if they were in the room when drug use was bring done?

 

[Niseyg123]

There are levels of neglect charges that can result in more jail time than manslaughter charges. I'd have to look up NC law, but in the Sherin Mathews case, the father was charged with neglect that specifically said it was likely would lead to death or extreme physical or emotional harm. So it's possible for people to be charged with something other than murder and still do a ton of time.

There's also a case in Illinois with an adult victim where there is no body and the perp is not charged with murder BUT is charged with kidnapping, torture, and having killed her. While it's not an actual murder charge, he may actually face the death penalty (because the feds are involved, even though Illinois no longer has the DP).

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Well that is encouraging that KW (I hope and pray) and EK will have a lot of time behind bars to think about what they have done. I'm going to have to look up the Sherin Matthews case. Somehow I missed the news about that one. lol just what I need. Another case to keep me awake at night researching.


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[Karinna]

Wake, vistation, and viewing are technically one in the same. Some use visitation when there will be no “viewing” of the actual body. In this part if the south visitation is more commonly used. Traditionally all 3 refer to an event before the funeral but some have a memorial service after the burial and refer to it as a visitation or a wake. It is more of a time to gather and show support or share grief when a larger crowd may attend. JMHO

Thanks for the info.

 

[JaneEyre]

Wake, vistation, and viewing are technically one in the same. Some use visitation when there will be no “viewing” of the actual body. In this part if the south visitation is more commonly used. Traditionally all 3 refer to an event before the funeral but some have a memorial service after the burial and refer to it as a visitation or a wake. It is more of a time to gather and show support or share grief when a larger crowd may attend. JMHO

In the Midwest it is also referred to as a visitation, and has been my entire life. Even if it's a closed casket, the casket is usually at the front and the family is near it. The only change in recent years that I have noticed is that there are more cremations, so there is not a body. Photos are almost always present.

And Karinna, I meant to add in my other post, to give you a picture of what it looks like, that there are nearly always pictures of the deceased as well. In recent years this has become more elaborate than just having a few framed photos around, and now most funeral homes offer a digital slide show. So while people are waiting in line, they often watch this.

Visitations also tend to be a gathering of the community, and after the viewing and respects are paid to the family, many people hang around and chat with one another, swapping stories about the deceased.

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[Tortoise]

[FONT=&amp]https://twitter.com/WRALCandace

“There are items of evidence...that are being tested and those lab results may take some time.” Statement from District Attorney Ernie Lee concerning investigation into #MariahWoods death. #wral
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[FONT=&amp]5:36 PM - 5 Dec 2017
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[Grouchymom]

Good morning! Reading the court order from Dec 4th denying the release of the 911 call. I can't figure out what is so vitally important in that call that it could jeopardize the case.? I know your a thinker. Thoughts? Also wanted to say TY for recording and sharing the custody hearing on Sherin Mathews. BTW I got a chuckle out of everything going around you and the little glitches while you were trying to video. Loved your helpful & polite little assistant. :yourock:

Thanks, she is quite the helper. I again apologize for the “glitches” as it was a sudden thought to make the hearing available to those out of the geographic region once I realized the situation and that was my first attempt at going live and had to try all the buttons to see what they were lol.

Now my take on the 911 call is that most people do not remember exactly what was said during 911 calls. In order for LE to gather more info during the investigation they can pick away at inconsistencies from the re-telling of the call. It is easier to tell someone that during the call they used the past tense or sounded a certain way if the person cannot get access to the call. I think if it has been reported correctly and mom made the call then they are still using that info while gathering info on her. There is something that was said in the call they feel is important to discredit her storyline. That’s my opinon based on they way LE handles 911 calls here in NC.

 

[DAnthrplgst]

Regarding drug use, does NC take hair samples from children to see if they were in the room when drug use was bring done?

I wouldn't think so. Hair analysis is done to test for consumption of drugs not if you were in the mere presence of drugs.

 

[Tortoise]

I think the terms, funeral, wake, service, visitation, calling hours, paying respects, etc., are sometimes used interchangeably especially when one hasn't (gratefully) had a lot of experience with the process. Generally people come to where the deceased is being shown (or not shown) within a specified time period (it varies and could be 3-4 hours at a time over a period of a couple days or simply one time). If the deceased is a young person there are usually more people that attend so it could be spread out 2-3 days. Next there is a gathering whether in a church, the funeral home, at the grave site, or wherever the surviving family chooses. Someone or several (pastor, family, friends etc) may speak about the deceased & offer words of comfort. This may conclude the activities or a further step would be following the hearse and traveling to the cemetery where a few more words are said and last goodbyes given. Trying to write that without using funeral, calling hours, visitation etc made me realize just how confusing it can be. Hope I made sense.

Thank you dsdebow

:tyou:

 

[JaneEyre]

For those of you who are not from the United States or who have never attended a visitation, this is a short video showing what it looks like. The difference is that most I have been to would show a long line of people waiting.

Note that this one is in a funeral home. However, the exact same thing often is at a church. In those cases, the body is generally toward the front of the church and people gather in the pews to chat.

https://youtu.be/8T2dUoqPIkc

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