I've had the benefit of seeing the person who has helped numerous people, gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to help broke down friends, provide money when they had none themselves. I've seen the man that did this all. So yes knowing who he has been allows me to see things and view them from different perspective.
What you see as someone flirting with a waitress in a bar, is someone I've seen do that if it would have been a waiter. Just like the comments of psychics involved, your lacking a perspective.
Respectfully Snipped By Me.
Personally, the fact that someone helps their friends, or does not, or flirts with waitresses, or does not, has no bearing on whether or not I see them as someone who might have had something to do with the death of their spouse.
I understand that you have a different perspective. However, I'd suggest that your perspective is more likely to be biased than ours, because this is someone you care deeply about.
I know that there is an awful lot of talk on here about the affair, implications that this man is somehow just a 'bad apple' all around. However, IMHO, people here are very slow to judge people for bad choices. If you browse threads, you'll see threads about missing people from all walks of life, threads where people have gone missing and their families have been.... much, much less than savoury.... By and large, people go on facts as much as they possibly can.
Basically, what I'm saying is that the badmouthing came after the theories. The theories are not the result of the information in the badmouthing.
Everyone here started their initial assessments based off of inaccurate information. I'm not asking you to change your opinion, just not dismiss it, because it's contrary. I'm asking you to explain your position. I have questions that I was hoping some could answer. Only a handful of people have taken the time to listen and answer. :fence:
Bolded By Me.
I'm guessing you can't quite explain what you mean by this, but if what you mean is that the initial assessment was based on that newspaper article, that was not where my initial assessment came from.
While I'm preeetttttyyy sure that everyone else here is going to want to smack me in the head with something solid for doing this (they've heard it. and heard it.) here's how I got to where I, personally am:
- When I saw Jen was missing I didn't have an opinion much one way or the other. But there are a number of possibilities.
Maybe she had a car accident.
Maybe she was kidnapped or harmed at the mall.
Maybe she ran away.
Maybe a family member harmed her.
Maybe a friend/acquaintance harmed her.
Maybe she went walking and slipped.
- The first red flag to me was to do with the phone. I would be surprised if Jen herself, or a carjacker/robber would ditch a phone, as they're easy enough to wipe and drop off at a pawn shop for a few hundred bucks before anyone even would realise she was missing. So from that I felt that most likely, one of two things happened: 1. It was dropped accidentally in a struggle. 2. It was placed where it was by someone who harmed Jen.
- (aside) When her husband found the phone, I had some queries about how he did it. Of course there are possible explanations for this, but I was surprised that it wasn't located for so long, given that it seems it could be located using an app.
-Then, we have no LE statement of her ever being at the mall. IMO this would be possible to verify. No callouts for anyone who saw her, no reported sightings there, no bank transactions (mentioned) that stated she made it. To me, this says she wasn't ever there, and whatever happened, happened on the way to the mall (or to/at another location), or before she ever left home.
- Jen's car was discovered in a place that made very little sense to me for her running away. She could've driven to an airport. She could've driven out of state. But it was near her home, in a small town. To me, this combined with the phone pretty much ruled out her having run off. Sure, it's still possible, but it seems unlikely, and without anything else indicating that's what she'd done, I couldn't see it.
Plus, we have a mother of three, without any obvious career/money earning skill to support her in a new life. No drug problem. No 'bad' associations (known criminals etc). From what we could see of her online - a lovely woman, loved her family, loved crafting. I personally haven't seen a person like that do a runner before. I'm sure it happens, but I just don't see it as likely.
- When Jen wasn't found in the vicinity of the car, or by a passerby, the random walking/fall idea was pretty much out.
- For 'family members' - Women are statistically far, far more likely to be harmed by men, particularly women who are not involved with gangs. So for male family members we have Jen's dad, and Jen's husband. Jen's dad was in Arizona at the time.
So. By that point, my list of theories (keeping in mind that I use 'theory' to indicate something I personally see as possible, leaving aside the chance of 'woah, never saw that coming' events) as above is down to
Maybe she was carjacked on the way to the mall/elsewhere.
Maybe her husband harmed her.
Maybe a friend/acquaintance harmed her.
As you can see, I wasn't quite ready to rule out random foul play on the road. With the statements (yours and others) about her possibly making new friends online, I did leave that possibility open.
However, as time went on, we started getting some weirdness. There was a thing with a psychic. A thing with a missing persons organisation. Some odd statements on the news. I started feeling pretty weird about the husband, due to statements he was making about Jen's character, about her having 'changed' and one in particular about the kids not wanting her back the way she had been acting recently. And then, of course, we have the affair. While I personally do not believe that having an affair automatically means you have the psychology of a killer, I do believe that love makes people do crazy things, and my own personal experience tells me that when you get three people in a relationship, things can get pretty darn crazy.
Now, of course these are all just feelings. I'm a random person on the internet. I've got all these feelings, and a lot of other people have these feelings too. We're talking about them, and we all agree.
However, I've still got my list of theories.
We find out Jen's car is found covered in mud. That was when random foul play went out, for me. Just... so unlikely. How could it even happen? And once it did, what did they do, go offroading then decide to do the right thing and put the car where it would be found? And then throw the phone out?
So now we have:
Maybe her husband harmed her.
Maybe a friend/acquaintance harmed her.
So now I'm looking at specific people. And, to be honest - specific men.
If Jen was meeting someone that day, one would imagine she would arrange it by phone or computer. As time went on, and LE had more time to examine her computer and phone histories, the case did not break. We didn't learn of anyone LE were looking to speak to. We didn't have a request for sightings of Jen in any specific location. In fact, the only location we heard directly of police spending significant time at was Jen's home. We didn't have an arrest. To me, this says there is no evidence of her arranging to meet someone.
So did she run into someone at random and did they harm her?
Well, maybe. But, where? At the mall? Nope. In Norwich? In broad daylight? And nobody saw her? Since LE had her phone, they knew where it, and logically, she, had been. No calls for sightings, still.
To me, before Jen was even found, it was just seeming so unlikely that she'd gone to meet someone, or randomly met someone. After all... a lot of people are at work at that time.
Then she was found. And she was nude. Nudity, to me, says that this was not an accident. Someone didn't hit her with a car and panic. Someone undressed her (unless she was nude at death) and left her there.
I am hard pressed to think how and where a meeting with a friend or aquaintance during the day ends in death without anyone noticing, and without LE having a phone ping at an indoor address from her phone. This would mean that someone would somehow have to coerce her into going with them somewhere, ditching the phone on the way. Even the likeliest story is full of holes:
- She meets someone in (eg) a cafe, things are going well, she agrees to go to their house, on the way they pull a gun, ditch her phone, take her home and kill her. But why no asking for people who saw her at the cafe (the phone pings would've identified it)? How did this person get to the cafe if they took Jen's car back to their house? And if they took their own car, how did Jen's get covered in mud? And how come nobody reports seeing her anywhere that day?
So there I am.
Maybe her husband harmed her.
PS I may never post here again, I can't believe how long this is.