NY NY - Robert Mayer, 46, Dix Hills, 14 Jun 2013 - # 3

[Momoffourboys]

I guess that would be a good question for IM. Were any suitcases, backpacks or duffle bags missing from the home? Were shoes or clothes missing? Toiletries? Did he wear workboots on his job sites or sneakers? If he wore workboots on his jobs, are any sneakers missing? Are the workboots accounted for? Did he wear a helmet and/or tool belt on the construction site? If so, were either one of them found in the home or garage?

IM was asked that several times on the FB page.
Her answer was quick and short..."no". Nothing missing.

I dont think i would have just said NO. How do you know? Did she know every single shirt, pair of socks...i dont know every one of my hubby's shirts (and i do the laundry! Lol). I dont think i would be able to tell if one shirt was gone.

Im certain she is witholding alot of info, either as instructed by LE or on her own. She also has many advisors on the FB page instructing her.

 

[fred&edna]

MOO is that the RM Search Group FB page is indeed fast becoming ineffective toward the goal of finding RM due to increasing :slapfight: (infighting); a lack of focus/organization from the start; and cross questions & crooked answers. I do not mean to sound overly critical because I believe some people wanting to help in the beginning - had good intentions but were "green" to how a posting forum on social media needs to be managed.

In addition, it seems evident some known information is not being shared - as evidenced by one of the page administrators listing 3 responsibilities. Number 2 given as - Not allowing evidence that needs to be kept quiet stated on this page. One of the most frustrating aspects was the appearance of transparency and not being up front in saying that some facts will not be shared or discussed.
Through the years I have read several FB pages for missing that were effective; this one seems to be grinding it's wheels to the rims. Sad, because they can be very effective when handled well.
:twocents: It gives me increased respect and admiration for how forums are handled here on WS. This is MOO for this evening. :fence:

Were the administrators on the FB pages (you previously found effective) victim-friendly?

It appears the administrator/s of the RM Search Group FB pages are attempting to protect RM's family.... and I'm just trying to figure out how this is different from being victim-friendly (such as WS). If IM tells the administrators she is unable to clarify details/correct inaccuracies as it might harm the case then I suppose they feel they must protect the info and her.

I'm struggling with my wording on all of this, but I hope you understand my meaning.

 

[McSpy]

I just had a flash . . . It would be good to know if the rear view mirror was adjusted for a shorter person. If the answer is yes, then that means someone else drove that car to the train station. So far, it seems like LE feels no crime has been committed. This suggests they checked the mirror for adjustment and probably fingerprints.

JMO

 

[CuriousAmI]

I think the admins are victim friendly but posts on the page are arbitrarily deleted by the admins at will. The other night all hell broke loose and a lot of members started voicing their disapproval. It was a free for all of postings and deletions. Admins were accused of sending rude private messages to posters too. I do believe it turned a lot of members off. I've been turned off for weeks.

 

[CuriousAmI]

I just had a flash . . . It would be good to know if the rear view mirror was adjusted for a shorter person. If the answer is yes, then that means someone else drove that car to the train station. So far, it seems like LE feels no crime has been committed. This suggests they checked the mirror for adjustment and probably fingerprints.

JMO

Good point.

 

[fred&edna]

I think the admins are victim friendly but posts on the page are arbitrarily deleted by the admins at will. The other night all hell broke loose and a lot of members started voicing their disapproval. It was a free for all of postings and deletions. Admins were accused of sending rude private messages to posters too. I do believe it turned a lot of members off. I've been turned off for weeks.

I suppose I just don't see how a FB page (in a case like this) can be very helpful.

 

[McSpy]

IM was asked that several times on the FB page.
Her answer was quick and short..."no". Nothing missing.

I dont think i would have just said NO. How do you know? Did she know every single shirt, pair of socks...i dont know every one of my hubby's shirts (and i do the laundry! Lol). I dont think i would be able to tell if one shirt was gone.

Im certain she is witholding alot of info, either as instructed by LE or on her own. She also has many advisors on the FB page instructing her.

Makes sense. I guess one would have to look for something a little bit more obvious. For ex.: If he left his favorite sneakers behind, which he wore all the time. It wouldn't make sense for him to go on a bike ride in workboots, especially in the summer. So that could rule out a bike ride. That is if he did wear workboots on the work sites. Workboots may not be something electricians wear or need to wear. I just don't know.

 

[Philigumbo]

And......what's wrong with that?

Respectfully, because even simple questions are not answered that could possibly help find him. Such as likes, dislikes, mannerisms, habits, even a clear timeline would be helpful. Don't get me wrong...if I lived close by I'd be there side by side searching for these kids dad, wherever IM wanted to search. I think the FB is losing momentum because simple questions are asked and not answered, and I think it's why she hasn't been able to keep media interested.

MOO

 

[Eileen730]

Makes sense. I guess one would have to look for something a little bit more obvious. For ex.: If he left his favorite sneakers behind, which he wore all the time. It wouldn't make sense for him to go on a bike ride in workboots, especially in the summer. So that could rule out a bike ride. That is if he did wear workboots on the work sites. Workboots may not be something electricians wear or need to wear. I just don't know.

I do not believe this man took anything at all from home nada zip!

 

[Momoffourboys]

I clearly remember on at least five different occasions, different people, on the FB page asking questions about his mannerisms, accent, likes n dislikes, hobbies...the questions were completely ignored each time.

IDK but IMO....something is definitely fishy

 

[CuriousAmI]

I also got that sense IM was pushed into the few interviews she did for tv. She has one line, it's been said on every interview "someone saw something, someone knows something". She was not very rehearsed. Also it would have been nice to see some family around her. I can understand not wanting the children on TV, but where are friends and family to offer support. I just don't get it.

 

[Eileen730]

Does Ida work?

 

[McSpy]

I think the admins are victim friendly but posts on the page are arbitrarily deleted by the admins at will. The other night all hell broke loose and a lot of members started voicing their disapproval. It was a free for all of postings and deletions. Admins were accused of sending rude private messages to posters too. I do believe it turned a lot of members off. I've been turned off for weeks.

Some of member commentors seem to attack others for posting a question. This seems to be a problem too. They aren't even nice about it, which fuels the fire. They come across as trying to protect IM's feelings, but most of the time the questions or theories are quite reasonable. No need to attack people for a simple question, IMO. People feel bad about this man being missing and on what his family is going through, but they are curious. This is only human. IMO, too many "holier than thou" commentors causing issues.

I'm not a member there either. I just lurk for now.

 

[CuriousAmI]

Does Ida work?

I don't know. I saw a mention, I think here, that she gave violin lessons. But not really sure if she is currently working.

 

[McSpy]

I clearly remember on at least five different occasions, different people, on the FB page asking questions about his mannerisms, accent, likes n dislikes, hobbies...the questions were completely ignored each time.

IDK but IMO....something is definitely fishy

I don't get it either. Knowing his hobbies or what he enjoys in his leisure would be very helpful. Does he love baseball or boating? Did he even mention a bucket list to her? All this could go along way.

 

[CuriousAmI]

Some of member commentors seem to attack others for posting a question. This seems to be a problem too. They aren't even nice about it, which fuels the fire. They come across as trying to protect IM's feelings, but most of the time the questions or theories are quite reasonable. No need to attack people for a simple question, IMO. People feel bad about this man being missing and on what his family is going through, but they are curious. This is only human. IMO, too many "holier than thou" commentors causing issues.

I'm not a member there either. I just lurk for now.

You are so right! No need for rudeness, or guilt trips for not being available to join a search. I, for one, could never join a search group, with my luck I would find a body and be destroyed for life with the memory. But that's just me.

 

[Eileen730]

I don't know. I saw a mention, I think here, that she gave violin lessons. But not really sure if she is currently working.

I don't know! If you look her up she teaches a lot of things I think she can be a school teacher, a music teacher, a tutor, And can give legal advice I think she has a realty business, This is one very smart woman from what I read and her being a lawyer at one time tells me she would know some PI's and is very smart when it comes to giving out information.

Possible she works out of the home.

Something is missing from the big picture besides her husband!

 

[McSpy]

I also got that sense IM was pushed into the few interviews she did for tv. She has one line, it's been said on every interview "someone saw something, someone knows something". She was not very rehearsed. Also it would have been nice to see some family around her. I can understand not wanting the children on TV, but where are friends and family to offer support. I just don't get it.

I know he has a mom, but does he have siblings? If so, do they live in the area? Are they helping in the search? Is his father still around?

 

[Philigumbo]

You are welcome to sleuth all the potential things here that could have happened with Robert. We do not need to bolster anyone. We just need to be respectful to victims and other posters.

I, myself, have not posted any questions or sleuthed on the FB. And, in review, it looks like everyone there has been respectful of the family. My frustration is that simple questions from posters there, such as RM's mannerisms, were called sleuthing. Social media can be very helpful if used to its max potential. MOO

 

[Force Ten]

I think the admins are victim friendly but posts on the page are arbitrarily deleted by the admins at will. The other night all hell broke loose and a lot of members started voicing their disapproval. It was a free for all of postings and deletions.

Actually no, it was one member.

Admins were accused of sending rude private messages to posters too

Really?