NY NY - Robert Mayer, 46, Dix Hills, 14 Jun 2013 - # 3

[CuriousAmI]

Some of the questions asked on FB were very good. Some that had not even been brought up here, and I thought we came up with everything possible. LOL.

I had noticed posts missing when I went back to re-read. Thought I just couldn't find them. The last couple of weeks the admins just started this very heavy handed attitude and the other night it hit the fan. One woman even suggested the page should be called a support page, not a search page. I also noticed today an admin posted another families missing person poster. I wonder if that would have been acceptable if a regular poster did the same.

Now it's all *advertiser censored* Baya (spelling??) and hand holding.

 

[cluciano63]

If IM is going to go onto a FB page, then she is opening herself up to questions. She does not have to go on there, if she prefers a "private" members only type of search for her husband. But going on FB implies one wants help from the public, IMO. I am not understanding the page at all. Just call it a prayer and support page already and be done with it.

 

[CuriousAmI]

Actually no, it was one member.



Really?

Not just one member, many members. A lot of posts were deleted so there is no backup. And yes, posters mentioned rude private messages. It's all been deleted unfortunately. I watched it live. I was actually typing a response to a post and it proofed right before my eyes. Never had that happen to me before. I was done with it right then and there. A real pity because the member numbers were growing and was creating a real interest.

 

[Momoffourboys]

I know he has a mom, but does he have siblings? If so, do they live in the area? Are they helping in the search? Is his father still around?

Above all...this is what i find the most odd.
She speaks the exact same words in each interview. Same demeanor.
Only her. Not the mother inlaw. Not a close friend. Not a cousin.

 

[Eileen730]

I, myself, have not posted any questions or sleuthed on the FB. And, in review, it looks like everyone there has been respectful of the family. My frustration is that simple questions from posters there, such as RM's mannerisms, were called sleuthing. Social media can be very helpful if used to its max potential. MOO

Or are they afraid of what some very very smart internet sleuthers will find? OR have found! I can understand not digging up the past but many times the past is why things go wrong in the future!

 

[Eileen730]

Above all...this is what i find the most odd.
She speaks the exact same words in each interview. Same demeanor.
Only her. Not the mother inlaw. Not a close friend. Not a cousin.

Because she WAS a LAWYER!

 

[Philigumbo]

Not just one member, many members. A lot of posts were deleted so there is no backup. And yes, posters mentioned rude private messages. It's all been deleted unfortunately. I watched it live. I was actually typing a response to a post and it proofed right before my eyes. Never had that happen to me before. I was done with it right then and there. A real pity because the member numbers were growing and was creating a real interest.

Glad you saw it as well, Curious! I, too, was watching it all, which is why I brought it up here and voiced my frustration....and yes, it was more than one poster, it was several...

 

[CuriousAmI]

Or are they afraid of what some very very smart internet sleuthers will find? OR have found! I can understand not digging up the past but many times the past is why things go wrong in the future!

It was also posted by an admin it is their responsibility to remove any posts that contain "evidence" that's not to be shared with the public.

 

[Eileen730]

Above all...this is what i find the most odd.
She speaks the exact same words in each interview. Same demeanor.
Only her. Not the mother inlaw. Not a close friend. Not a cousin.

If IM is going to go onto a FB page, then she is opening herself up to questions. She does not have to go on there, if she prefers a "private" members only type of search for her husband. But going on FB implies one wants help from the public, IMO. I am not understanding the page at all. Just call it a prayer and support page already and be done with it.

I think these ppl start these pags and at first get all the sympathies then as time passes ppl start questioning them and their involvement and then they try to control whats said and the Fb pages start to backfire on them

 

[fred&edna]

If IM is going to go onto a FB page, then she is opening herself up to questions. She does not have to go on there, if she prefers a "private" members only type of search for her husband. But going on FB implies one wants help from the public, IMO. I am not understanding the page at all. Just call it a prayer and support page already and be done with it.

RBBM

Therein lies the biggest problem. It appears IM is saying... Give me love/support, hand out flyers, show up for searches and have the media contact me for interviews... otherwise leave me alone.


jmo

 

[BunnyHop]

Does anyone know how the FB group was started? I kept scrolling down and down-then lost patience. Is there an easier way to go back to the beginning? TIA

 

[Momoffourboys]

Because she WAS a LAWYER!

...then she, more than anyone, should know how strange it appears.

 

[Force Ten]

MOO is that the RM Search Group FB page is indeed fast becoming ineffective toward the goal of finding RM due to increasing :slapfight: (infighting); a lack of focus/organization from the start; and cross questions & crooked answers. I do not mean to sound overly critical because I believe some people wanting to help in the beginning - had good intentions but were "green" to how a posting forum on social media needs to be managed.

Ineffective?? There has been over a dozen searches conducted organized by members and an ongoing media campaign that has proven to be quite effective. How should a FB search page be managed? I didn't know there was some playbook to be followed.

In addition, it seems evident some known information is not being shared - as evidenced by one of the page administrators listing 3 responsibilities. Number 2 given as - Not allowing evidence that needs to be kept quiet stated on this page.

This is simply not true. But evidence, not rumors, should be discussed.

One of the most frustrating aspects was the appearance of transparency and not being up front in saying that some facts will not be shared or discussed.
Through the years I have read several FB pages for missing that were effective; this one seems to be grinding it's wheels to the rims. Sad, because they can be very effective when handled well.

The available facts are there. Nothing is 'hidden'. Some people just don't like the answers.

It seems like because IM isn't allowed to be sleuthed, RM's search page is sleuthed and attacked as a result.

 

[Eileen730]

She reminds me of Theresa from the real housewives of new jersey!

 

[Force Ten]

Glad you saw it as well, Curious! I, too, was watching it all, which is why I brought it up here and voiced my frustration....and yes, it was more than one poster, it was several...

In totality, there have been more than a few members since the page began. With over two thousand people you're bound to have a few 'weeds'. If people feel they have to behave like children rather than adults.....

 

[fred&edna]

If the NamUs information has been inaccurate from the date it was entered then how long does it take to correct it??

 

[BunnyHop]

Ineffective?? There has been over a dozen searches conducted organized by members and an ongoing media campaign that has proven to be quite effective. How should a FB search page be managed? I didn't know there was some playbook to be followed.

Over a dozen? Really? Where? I must have missed it.

 

[CuriousAmI]

Well that's you're perspective but it's just that. It was one member in particular and a couple others over the last week. Yes, a thread was deleted because it got out of hand and was not effective or beneficial.

I'm entitled to my perspective as you are yours. The post in question was regarding the other missing man. But many others posted individually as posts were being deleted. And they were deleted. Yesterday there were a few other verbal altercations. I just don't think it is being handled well.

 

[Vedder]

I'm entitled to my perspective as you are yours. The post in question was regarding the other missing man. But many others posted individually as posts were being deleted. And they were deleted. Yesterday there were a few other verbal altercations. I just don't think it is being handled well.

Some had nothing to with questions or the case itself, and were members pretty much annoyed with each other and verbalizing their annoyance. Childishness.

 

[Force Ten]

Respectfully, because even simple questions are not answered that could possibly help find him. Such as likes, dislikes, mannerisms, habits, even a clear timeline would be helpful. Don't get me wrong...if I lived close by I'd be there side by side searching for these kids dad, wherever IM wanted to search. I think the FB is losing momentum because simple questions are asked and not answered, and I think it's why she hasn't been able to keep media interested.

MOO

Media interest has obviously gained quite a bit. Keeping it interested is another thing. That goes with every missing persons case. If there is nothing new to go on, interest quickly wanes and disappears. This is not anything new.

I am sure IM has not read every message addressed to her, let alone all messages on there. I think she is also trying to keep the core of her family intact and sound. She not only has to deal with her husband missing but also consider what her children are going through. It's amazing to me how some people can make a conclusion based on what a person DOESN'T say.