ElementalLaura
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Sep 4, 2016
- Messages
- 1,324
- Reaction score
- 5,948
Thank you for this perspective! I have some similar tales from my past. You have an amazing ability to see the good in people. It’s a rare gift.
This also rings more true than the current story. If that’s what happened, though, I can’t help but think that there should be an accounting of some kind. Meighan died. That changes the calculus. Meighan also has a daughter who will now grow up without her and with a story that the daughter will someday realize doesn’t add up. That also matters a lot.
But also - Hugs to you and to all of us who survived occasionally not-so-nice moments.
This also rings more true than the current story. If that’s what happened, though, I can’t help but think that there should be an accounting of some kind. Meighan died. That changes the calculus. Meighan also has a daughter who will now grow up without her and with a story that the daughter will someday realize doesn’t add up. That also matters a lot.
But also - Hugs to you and to all of us who survived occasionally not-so-nice moments.
So I will give a not-so-nice story from my life.....
Now, some context first: my mother is a very nice lady 75% of the time. But all my life, she has had some uncontrollable anger issues, which yes, even sometimes spilled into the relationships of her children.
There was one night when I was 19-years-old, we were at a gas station in the middle of nowhere and it was like 3am. It was wintertime and freezing, I had only brought a hoodie. She insisted I take off the hoodie because I "looked like a bum or th*g" walking into a gas station with a hoodie on. I said, "What? You're crazy! It's freezing and I have nothing else to wear! And they are going to think I'm a criminal for wearing a hoodie that has pink sparkle letters on it?! It's winter anyways!" In my mind, this was over something so small, but she got extremely, irrationally angry that I would not take off the hoodie. She ended up physically dragging me out of the car, pushing me to the ground, jumping back into the car, and locking all the doors. I started crying and told her I wanted my phone, wallet, and ID so I could either call my dad or a taxi to pick me up. She said no, that I had to walk the OVER 30 MILES back home because I was a "spoiled brat who hasn't suffered enough in this life." She only gave me back my things when I reminded her I was an adult and I could go into the gas station and report her for theft (which of course made her angrier, but she eventually chucked my stuff out of the window and onto the ground....she ignored my existence for 2 solid weeks after that).
This is all to say......
Sometimes moms who are generally and for the most part very good moms, are also humans who may have issues of their own. Maybe her mom was like my mom, where she had a snap bad moment in judgement, got irrationally angry, and made a horrible decision. It doesn't necessarily mean she is a horrible mother. "A good mother would never do that," Yeah I want to agree with such comments, but life isn't that neat and tidy. People make mistakes sometime.
If I didn't get my cell phone back that night, I could easily have been like Meighan. And I wouldn't want the public judging my mom based on one of her worst "parenting" moments as opposed to the majority of my life where she has been great and supportive.
MOO.