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Jeez, you've had a hard life :hug:
My younger son has ADD (not as bad as all the problems you mentioned, tho'). When he was in the 4th grade, his teachers said that he was falling behind in class because of his attention- or non- attention. My husband would not consider that HIS son had a problem, but I always knew something was "wrong" with younger son. I cried all the time and felt so helpless. What made my husband change his mind was the testing the school did. They gave him an IQ test and he tested as developmentally disabled- which wasn't correct (he just couldn't concentrate). He is very intelligent and was retested after he saw a neurologist and received meds- he has an IQ of 132. His attention was the problem and my husband finally agreed. What got me was that my MIL also knew "something was wrong" with younger son and told me that my husband also had "something wrong with him when he was young- ADD, but they didn't have a name for it then. I'm glad I fought so hard with my husband to get my son the help he needed. There's nothing wrong with being "different" and I think of it like having diabetes which needs meds, too. We also had my son see a child psychologist to help him with having ADD (which he hates having, but I think he has come to terms with). He's such a good person and has done so much with his education- what comes relatively easy to some students, my son has struggled with, but he's going to get his masters. :blushing:
I really believe in getting help for your children, no matter what kind of help it is. It's being a good parent.