Here's a few jokes I'm sharing with you all from my latest
Reader's Digest
Children's books redone as grown-up books:
Where the Wild Things are Now
A Wrinkle Cream in Time for the Holidays
Charlotte's Web of Lies
The Little Engine That Could Think for Itself
Alice's Adventures with the Law in Wonderland
Oh, the Place You'll Never Get to Go (that one is for the :jail
:floorlaugh:
It's Raining Cats and Dogs, but only in America,
in Denmark: "det regner skomagerdrenge!" (It's raining shoemakers' apprentices!")
in Norway: "det regner trollkjerring!" (It's raining she-trolls!")
in Bosnia: "padaju cuskije!" ("It's raining crowbars!")
in Wales: "mae hi'n bwrw hen wragedd a ffyn!" (it's raining old ladies and sticks!")
Realistic romantic comedies: When Harry Met Sally and Discovered she looks nothing like her eHarmony photos
A woman went up to the roof-deck of her hotel to sunbathe. No one else was there, so she slipped out of her swimsuit to get an overall tan. A few minutes later, she heard someone running up the stairs. "Excuse me, miss," said the hotel manager. "We would appreciate it if you wore a bathing suit." "But I'm alone," she said. "What difference does it make?" "A lot," said the manager. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."
While going through his deceased father's things, a man finds a 25-year-old claim check for a shoe repair. Curious, he goes to the store and hands the owner the ticket. The owner goes to the back and then reappears. "Good news," he says. "They'll be ready next Friday."
The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.
Love in the time of dial-up:
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are!
cguru: