The Texts Messages: Warning! Graphic SEXUALLY EXPLICIT

[cluciano63]

She clearly put too much trust in MC if she would send such "bawdy" messages not knowing if his phone was monitored, even if she felt safe on her own. And since they did discuss phones, it seems impossible, unless she truly lives on her own little planet, that she could have believed her text messages would not be considered a "hot property" in more ways than one to the person she was texting.

 

[Adrienne37]

They're lurid and tasteless and the circumstances of Kyron's disappearance, then Kaine leaving and taking their child with him certainly suggest that one would fill their time in more constructive ways, but ............ they're not illegal, and have no bearing on a divorce proceeding (where they were entered) given that Oregon is a no-fault divorce State.

Healthy adults sext all the time, however. I guess for me I don't see how her having engaged in this activity suggests anything other than she never thought the world at large was going to see them. I suppose we can definitely fault her for her naivete in the midst of her in flagrante delecti.

But do most healthy adults who are married engage in sexting with someone who isn't their partner much less when their stepson who they supposedly loved is missing? JMO.

 

[Trt]

But do most healthy adults who are married engage in sexting with someone who isn't their partner much less when their stepson who they supposedly loved is missing? JMO.

...and when their toddler daughter, for whom they claim to have been the primary caregiver, is taken from them with zero contact allowed?

 

[Adrienne37]

...and when their toddler daughter, for whom they claim to have been the primary caregiver, is taken from them with zero contact allowed?

Great point and one that I definitely missed. Thanks!!!

 

[lynmaree]

Great point and one that I definitely missed. Thanks!!!

As a parent, step or otherwise, it seems to me that every waking thought would be for my missing son and the daughter I had unjustly been barred from seeing. I think the sexts speak volumes as to THs ability to detach and self serve....and after reading them repeatedly it seems that MC was much less of an active participant and at times even seemed to be deflecting...he sure wasnt encouraging her to ellaborate...seems mostly driven by her IMO. We all focus a lot on what she ISNT saying or doing when in truth, her actions (or lack thereof in specific relation to Kyron and K), speak louder than any words she could utter...again, just my opinion

 

[ThoughtFox]

good points debs.
one could argue that sexting may just be her way of comforting herself when her life spins wildly, sadly, depressingly out of control. some watch leno. some reach for ambien. some reach for wine and little sext at bedtime.

Wow: Leno ~ Ambien ~ Wine ~ Sexting

That really is sad, and about as far from healthy motherhood as you can get, in my opinion.

No one is a perfect mother (I'm no exception) and maybe all this "comfort" might have been slightly acceptable on a bad night now and then, with another adult in the house to look after the kids.

But the over-the-top stuff with Michael Cook goes beyond just someone seeking comfort. She is throwing herself at him, and I don't see it as healthy at all. She comes across as desperate and pathetic for someone who once talked about herself on Facebook as almost a homeroom mother of the year.

I think the most honest thing in those sex messages was the fact that she felt she was an angel and a devil. She knew she was sort of living a double life.

First we were supposed to believe TH was this perfect suburban Mom who was being harrassed by the police.

Now we know she was sort of a troubled sex addict with delusions of picking up men with her super-woman strength. Should we feel sorry for her though?

I'm sorry, I just don't. JMOO

 

[Adrienne37]

Wow: Leno ~ Ambien ~ Wine ~ Sexting

That really is sad, and about as far from healthy motherhood as you can get, in my opinion.

No one is a perfect mother (I'm no exception) and maybe all this "comfort" might have been slightly acceptable on a bad night now and then, with another adult in the house to look after the kids.

But the over-the-top stuff with Michael Cook goes beyond just someone seeking comfort. She is throwing herself at him, and I don't see it as healthy at all. She comes across as desperate and pathetic for someone who once talked about herself on Facebook as almost a homeroom mother of the year.

I think the most honest thing in those sex messages was the fact that she felt she was an angel and a devil. She knew she was sort of living a double life.

First we were supposed to believe TH was this perfect suburban Mom who was being harrassed by the police.

Now we know she was sort of a troubled sex addict with delusions of picking up men with her super-woman strength. Should we feel sorry for her though?

I'm sorry, I just don't. JMOO

I'll second that. I definitely don't feel sorry for her and right now it's a toss up for me deciding which one of these women, Terri Horman or Elisa Baker, is the worse. JMO.

 

[ThoughtFox]

I'll second that. I definitely don't feel sorry for her and right now it's a toss up for me deciding which one of these women, Terri Horman or Elisa Baker, is the worse. JMO.

I'm having a real problem seeing either one of them as a "victim" although each clearly sees herself that way. :furious:

 

[Emma Peel]

Wow: Leno ~ Ambien ~ Wine ~ Sexting

That really is sad, and about as far from healthy motherhood as you can get, in my opinion.

No one is a perfect mother (I'm no exception) and maybe all this "comfort" might have been slightly acceptable on a bad night now and then, with another adult in the house to look after the kids.

But the over-the-top stuff with Michael Cook goes beyond just someone seeking comfort. She is throwing herself at him, and I don't see it as healthy at all. She comes across as desperate and pathetic for someone who once talked about herself on Facebook as almost a homeroom mother of the year.

I think the most honest thing in those sex messages was the fact that she felt she was an angel and a devil. She knew she was sort of living a double life.

First we were supposed to believe TH was this perfect suburban Mom who was being harrassed by the police.

Now we know she was sort of a troubled sex addict with delusions of picking up men with her super-woman strength. Should we feel sorry for her though?

I'm sorry, I just don't. JMOO

BBM. What? Who said that? Not me. Good grief.

IMO, It is sad. But it's not *necessarily* criminal. Even in the context of having just lost a son & daughter.

Which, was deb's point, I think. I thought she made a good point ... but, then again, I tend to play devil's advocate here and there - for the intellectual challenge, to keep somewhat grounded, and to challenge my own prejudices in these cases...

There are leaps being made here - assumptions of guilt - that - so far - even the GJ can't make, and they know a bunch more than we know. Okay perhaps they are not huge leaps. (LOL). But ... that pesky presumption of innocence looms in our courts... I can't wait to understand the circumstantial evidence that is keeping LE's focus so strongly on Terri. I can see how these sexts and their timing/context COULD be supportive to that evidence. But in and of themselves, and even in context of their odd and sad timing, they do not necessarily a murderer make. IMO, it is not for me to judge how a consenting adult "relaxes" or "seeks comfort", so long as they don't break the law in the process. (Let me know when adult sexting between consenting adults becomes illegal.)

:cow:

 

[mmmagique]

They're lurid and tasteless and the circumstances of Kyron's disappearance, then Kaine leaving and taking their child with him certainly suggest that one would fill their time in more constructive ways, but ............ they're not illegal, and have no bearing on a divorce proceeding (where they were entered) given that Oregon is a no-fault divorce State.

Healthy adults sext all the time, however. I guess for me I don't see how her having engaged in this activity suggests anything other than she never thought the world at large was going to see them. I suppose we can definitely fault her for her naivete in the midst of her in flagrante delecti.

And for lack of any human qualities such as compassion. Anyone who is out of their mind with worry and sorrow isn't going to try to figure out how to sexually manipulate someone they've recently met. (for whatever reason.)

 

[mmmagique]

BBM. What? Who said that? Not me. Good grief.

IMO, It is sad. But it's not *necessarily* criminal. Even in the context of having just lost a son & daughter.

Which, was deb's point, I think. I thought she made a good point ... but, then again, I tend to play devil's advocate here and there - for the intellectual challenge, to keep somewhat grounded, and to challenge my own prejudices in these cases...

There are leaps being made here - assumptions of guilt - that - so far - even the GJ can't make, and they know a bunch more than we know. Okay perhaps they are not huge leaps. (LOL). But ... that pesky presumption of innocence looms in our courts... I can't wait to understand the circumstantial evidence that is keeping LE's focus so strongly on Terri. I can see how these sexts and their timing/context COULD be supportive to that evidence. But in and of themselves, and even in context of their odd and sad timing, they do not necessarily a murderer make. IMO, it is not for me to judge how a consenting adult "relaxes" or "seeks comfort", so long as they don't break the law in the process. (Let me know when adult sexting between consenting adults becomes illegal.)

:cow:

We ALL judge people every day. That's how we decide who to hire to work in our homes and offices. It's how we decide who to vote for, who to date and who to marry. It's how we decide for ourselves whether certain relationships are healthy or not. If we didn't judge people, many of us would be much worse for it, I think.

 

[TxLady2]

BBM. What? Who said that? Not me. Good grief.

IMO, It is sad. But it's not *necessarily* criminal. Even in the context of having just lost a son & daughter.

Which, was deb's point, I think. I thought she made a good point ... but, then again, I tend to play devil's advocate here and there - for the intellectual challenge, to keep somewhat grounded, and to challenge my own prejudices in these cases...

There are leaps being made here - assumptions of guilt - that - so far - even the GJ can't make, and they know a bunch more than we know. Okay perhaps they are not huge leaps. (LOL). But ... that pesky presumption of innocence looms in our courts... I can't wait to understand the circumstantial evidence that is keeping LE's focus so strongly on Terri. I can see how these sexts and their timing/context COULD be supportive to that evidence. But in and of themselves, and even in context of their odd and sad timing, they do not necessarily a murderer make. IMO, it is not for me to judge how a consenting adult "relaxes" or "seeks comfort", so long as they don't break the law in the process. (Let me know when adult sexting between consenting adults becomes illegal.)

:cow:

ITA! And very well said, too.

 

[TxLady2]

And for lack of any human qualities such as compassion. Anyone who is out of their mind with worry and sorrow isn't going to try to figure out how to sexually manipulate someone they've recently met. (for whatever reason.)

I doubt if she was out of her mind with grief or sorrow. Kyron was not HER child. Even though she had helped raise him from a baby, there is a difference in a biological child and a stepchild. Anyone who says different is either delusional or lying.
I had my stepdaughter for much of her teen years. I love her, but not like I love my own, because she has a mother, and I always knew I could not take her place, even if I wanted to.

 

[ThoughtFox]

I doubt if she was out of her mind with grief or sorrow. Kyron was not HER child. Even though she had helped raise him from a baby, there is a difference in a biological child and a stepchild. Anyone who says different is either delusional or lying.
I had my stepdaughter for much of her teen years. I love her, but not like I love my own, because she has a mother, and I always knew I could not take her place, even if I wanted to.

Respectfully, not loving a child and not being worried for their welfare are two entirely different things.

My kids have had hundreds of friends over the years. I don't love all of them or even want some of them around, but if one of them was missing at the age of seven I would worry myself sick.

Look at us here on Websleuths - we love Kyron and we never lived with him or took care of him. We barely know him and we worry about him every day. Shouldn't Terri's feelings be at least as deep as ours, if she is capable of such feelings?

Again, TH can't have it both ways - that she was a loving mother all the time, except when she was an indifferent selfish woman writing sex messages about having her husband killed or breaking her restraining order. There's a disconnect there.

And indifference is a trait of a sociopath, by the way. Lack of empathy.

The fact that Terri can so easily get her mind off of Kyron isn't a plus in her favor, as far as I'm concerned.

My judgement of TH isn't just based on her sexting or her manipulation of men, but on other facts in this case that have built up a portrait of her over time that to me isn't likable or particularly sympathetic.

 

[debs]

But do most healthy adults who are married engage in sexting with someone who isn't their partner much less when their stepson who they supposedly loved is missing? JMO.

I'm sure a fair number of folks who've just had their husband leave them engage in behaviors they wouldn't typically engage in elsewise. I don't see the disappearance of her child as a reason for the sexting. I do see it as a reason for the lack of common sense, on top of nearly every other stressor going on in her life at that time.

Would I do it? Probably not. But it isn't about me, and I can't force someone to conform to MY societal norms. If I'd have been her friend, however, you can bet your bippy I'd have counseled her about the wisdom of sexting at such a time. But once again, it's not criminal, and it isn't relevant to the divorce in a no-fault state. It was just lurid.

 

[debs]

And for lack of any human qualities such as compassion. Anyone who is out of their mind with worry and sorrow isn't going to try to figure out how to sexually manipulate someone they've recently met. (for whatever reason.)

With all respect and appreciation for your perspective, that's exactly WHEN a person might fall back into inappropriate and damaging behaviors like this. If everything's going peachy and wonderful is another time. People self-sabotage all the time.

 

[SurfieTX]

I'm sure a fair number of folks who've just had their husband leave them engage in behaviors they wouldn't typically engage in elsewise. I don't see the disappearance of her child as a reason for the sexting. I do see it as a reason for the lack of common sense, on top of nearly every other stressor going on in her life at that time.

Would I do it? Probably not. But it isn't about me, and I can't force someone to conform to MY societal norms. If I'd have been her friend, however, you can bet your bippy I'd have counseled her about the wisdom of sexting at such a time. But once again, it's not criminal, and it isn't relevant to the divorce in a no-fault state. It was just lurid.

Technically, the release of those texts were not in the context of the divorce. They were in the context of Kaine's reply to Terri's request to amend the restraining order to allow her parenting time with little K. For clarity's sake, Terri has had the option to amend the restraining order for parenting time with little K since day one of the restraining order. She chose to wait 3 months and then request it. The texts we saw were conducted 3-4 days after the restraining order was served to Terri.

 

[debs]

Technically, the release of those texts were not in the context of the divorce. They were in the context of Kaine's reply to Terri's request to amend the restraining order to allow her parenting time with little K. For clarity's sake, Terri has had the option to amend the restraining order for parenting time with little K since day one of the restraining order. She chose to wait 3 months and then request it. The texts we saw were conducted 3-4 days after the restraining order was served to Terri.

The sexts don't tell me a thing about what kind of parent Terri is. It does tell me how stressed out she was because she was making some pretty bad decisions in sending them (I won't go into the structural FAIL of seduction). But she was sending them to an adult. No child was exposed to those texts or was present when she snapped pictures of herself.

All this determines is that she was making an unhealthy decision for HERSELF. In fact, Kaine and Desiree are two of her strongest proponents for Terri being a good mother.

The texts were lurid only. They were inappropriate for Terri to send, and worse, for Kaine to use as a means for damaging her.

 

[SurfieTX]

The sexts don't tell me a thing about what kind of parent Terri is. It does tell me how stressed out she was because she was making some pretty bad decisions in sending them (I won't go into the structural FAIL of seduction). But she was sending them to an adult. No child was exposed to those texts or was present when she snapped pictures of herself.

All this determines is that she was making an unhealthy decision for HERSELF. In fact, Kaine and Desiree are two of her strongest proponents for Terri being a good mother.

The texts were lurid only. They were inappropriate for Terri to send, and worse, for Kaine to use as a means for damaging her.

That was pretty much her lawyers' response after the texts were submitted to the Court. In any event, Terri and her lawyers thought it best to withdraw the request for parenting time for whatever reason(s).

ETA: The more graphic texts were sent on July 4, 2010, which as we all know was the 30-day mark since Kyron went missing. I'm not entirely sure that is relevant, but it is interesting to note.

 

[ThoughtFox]

Would I do it? Probably not. But it isn't about me, and I can't force someone to conform to MY societal norms. If I'd have been her friend, however, you can bet your bippy I'd have counseled her about the wisdom of sexting at such a time. But once again, it's not criminal, and it isn't relevant to the divorce in a no-fault state. It was just lurid.

Saying that this is a no-fault state is a true fact, but it doesn't lessen the pain of knowing a spouse is sexting with other men.

And lurid isn't a good thing for getting child visitation either.

"No-fault" is a legal term and not a personal one. People get hurt and depressed by no-fault divorce every day. No-fault divorce tears up families just like any other divorce.

All it means is that in legal terms, the sexting isn't grounds for divorce. According to the no-fault law, no one is to blame. That doesn't mean that one person isn't more at fault, or that their behavior was emotionally acceptable within the marriage.

Once again, it's the context of her sexting that makes it weird and strange to some of us out here in the slow lane. My husband wouldn't understand if I was doing that. I wouldn't see it as "healthy" if he was doing it.

My state is also a no-fault state. That doesn't mean that people aren't guilty of adultery or that their behavior isn't morally wrong. That doesn't mean that their children don't get caught in the middle of proceedings due to self-centered adult behavior.

Healthy adults sext all the time, however. I guess for me I don't see how her having engaged in this activity suggests anything other than she never thought the world at large was going to see them. I suppose we can definitely fault her for her naivete in the midst of her in flagrante delecti.

With all respect and appreciation for your perspective, that's exactly WHEN a person might fall back into inappropriate and damaging behaviors like this. If everything's going peachy and wonderful is another time. People self-sabotage all the time.

I'm a little confused ~ was Terri's behavior healthy and understandable, or damaging and inappropriate?

As far as the "norms" of society go, I don't really believe that there is a perfectly "normal" life for human beings. I don't believe in June and Ward Cleaver.

But I really know more than I ever wanted to know about Terri's views of sexuality and what she finds exciting. Reading about her thong makes me want to go get a barf bag.

The problem here is that she did accept certain restraints of society. She married more than once. By the time she had a third child she knew at least outwardly how she was expected to behave. She played along as the grieving step-mother at first, even hugging Desiree on stage in front of the cameras, but a few months later we have TH living with DeDe outside her door and engaging in phone sex with Michael Cook.

Her secret sexting life is a window into her state of mind, and now that we've all had a peek, I'm sure alot of us would like to forget it. However, it does go to state of mind, and LE can use these messages as part of a criminal case, even if they mean nothing in terms of the divorce.