child who grows up neglected, can't bathe much, parents are drug abusers, dirty, teased . . .is that abusive? . . . very abusive.
ok - so as this child grows up to be a man
something whether they blame self for what happened . . . what they learned growing up . . . even if you have terrific parents you said I will not do what my parents did . . . sometimes you end of channeling those things you said you would never say . . . because I said so . . those s ort of things
you learn to be fearful . . .where it plays out may not be in your professional life - you are not challeneged @ same emotional level -- you can be successful in your job and have good job but tested most in intimate relationship - what I hear from men I work with . . they get into situation with partner they are thrown back to powerlessness feeling as a kid . . . stop it by getting bigger and more powerful against person that makes them feel powerless. . . kids don't have cognitive ability to explain or say what is happening . . they are left with the feelings that come up when in a relationship and feel powerless . .. . young vs 6 or 7 years old vs. teens? . . . things can be tolerated more when they are little . . . if teen they have a good life and people they can count on . . more of an ability of having a life where little kids cannot . . . infants suffer from failure to thrive . . .all of this kids ere little and had full blown PTSD . . . didn't matter if you were male or female . . they were afraid of adults . . . things tolerated by teens may be very hard to tolerate by a young child.
learn how to deal with relationship without intervention? . . .not specific necessarily but they would not have the skills to deal with an intimate relationship . . .most of us have seen our parents argue and close a door . . but if parents are acting out violently . . . you see that is how you treat someone in a loving relationship. . . I always remember my Dad coming home from work and
Objection - sustained
Combat readiness- Brucy Perry deal with children involved in violent crimes . . . live in family that is a war zone . . .have to be hypervigilent in a warzone . . .see things as threatening that we might not see. . . chronic combat readiness is living your life in a violent family zone flooded with stress hormones and in fight vs. flight . . . not operating from cortex but operating in your reptilian brain . . . .a lo of people who bullied people came from violent families.
men you worked with come from traumatic or abusive families?
my experience has been almost everybody I worked with came from some violent situation in foster care, their parents, their primary caretakers, violent neighborhood. . . research showed somewhere 60-70% . . . . research was done when people lived in violence they were beaten as children and they thought that was ok . . . not 100% but close to it . . .
worst kinds of violence tend to be perpetrated by those who grew up in the worst kind of violence.
afternoon recess until 3:15 . . . . you are excused
please stand for the jury