GUILTY UK - Ellie Butler, 6, brutally murdered, Sutton, 28 Oct 2013 #1

[Gigi-G]

Pleaseeeeeeee lol. I despise the smell of turps. N gloss paint. I've just got a migraine shifted now my head is on a rush with paint drying. Thank goodness it's down stairs n I'm off for a relaxing bath.

Missed you guys today!!! Gah! ):

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[Legally Bland]

I was a bit worried the defence's expert witnesses may add too much confusion in the minds of the jury, but it sounds like the judge has a grip in it.Big thanks to Tortoise and Flutterby for sharing from the Old Bailey.

 

[Renee110]

I'd be driven mad by that. Plus the actual fact they WERE in the dock. Was becuz poor sweet Ellie lost her life to "DOTING DADDY" puhleeeeze don't insult my intelligence. Really!
I would be extremely narked off at their discretions and titillations.
I would REALLY REALLY love it if the Prosecution could actually someway thru the CT scans they took. That maybe Ellie's first brain injury wasn't all just from the Ventouse delivery system. A baby's skull persay is pliable. With the fontanelle at the top of the skull. And the other areas over the skull are not yet joined and solid. They are this way to compress baby's head thru the birth canal as that is so.e down force and pressure from a contraction n push. If the skull was fully formed n solid. The mother would not be able to delivery naturally.
A Ventouse delivery or a forceps delivery are only ever used as a last resort. Becuz both systems can have issues. As the GRIP baby's head to ease it out.
I don't know how many births are dealt with in this way
But I had forceps. N apart from having an odd shaped head for a few days. There was nothing untoward.
What if the prosecution looked back over Ellie's first brain injury. And under investigation it was said that there were other signs. Not just birthing of SBS.
He (Ben Butler) defended himself at his case for wrongful imprisonment. And had it overturned. And eventually got Ellie back. And then only 11 months passed where she was hurting. Black eyes broken scapula. Bruising to her back. Buttocks. Face... For Ellie to Die in his company AGAIN.

He thinks he's invincible and can get him self off the charges brought to by the court.

Somebody. Please please lock him up. 100 years ain't long enough. But do it. N throw away the key.!!!

And as for mom.. she needs help. She to is Ben Butlers victim. All she wanted was to be loved.

♡

BBM



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Very good post!

I agree with all you said except for the bolded part (BBM).

All she wanted was to be loved. And that excuses her from protecting her children. I disagree. I want to be loved too. I wouldn't sacrifice my child though.

What I am having a hard time with ..... is I can SORT of see in the moment.... she herself is being abused and groomed and brainwashed....

BUT. This is later now. Her daughter is DEAD. A VIOLENT, PAINFUL DEATH. She has had time away from him, time to miss her daughter, time for reality to really sink in that poor Ellie is dead, gone forever.

And yet she still defends and protects the man who murdered her daughter.

She is beyond help. Beyond reproach. IMO.

I may have felt some kind of empathy for her if she had come to her senses. I do understand that abuse is real, that the abuser makes you feel responsible.

BUT, after time apart, IMO she should have snapped into reality.... and be angry, full of grief, and looking for answers. The fact that she still takes his side, and is still blaming the poor child..... I can't get onboard with that. She is as much a sociapath as he is, in my book.

But still, I agree with the rest of your post!

And JMO..... we need people like you that don't jump to judgement and condemn. This post was just to relay my own opinion.

 

[Renee110]

Which is why she is being prosecuted for perverting the course of justice. And whatever else they can tag her into. Child cruelty. Child neglect. . He most definitely had her under his spell. It was almost as if she was willing to put anything aside. Just as long as he loved her (yeah right. Until the next time he beat Ellie).
Well I do hope that she receives help for her mental state she's in. No woman should have to put herself or children up for abuse verbal or physical for anyone. It's as if she'd give anything as long as he showed that glimmer of love/lust.

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I'm sorry...I just have to post my thoughts on this.

I'm not giving her a free pass.... no one could "put me under their spell" enough to not only ignore the fact that they murdered my child, but cover it up and try to act like the child deserved it. He has been in jail, she has been out, away from his influence. She clearly IMO puts him first and foremost before her own children. She is every bit if not more guilty as he is. IMO of course. There are NO EXCUSES for someone who is no longer under someone else's control to keep supporting that person. IMO. He isn't getting out... she has nothing to fear. She is defending him because she is as much of a sociopath as he is.... she isn't mourning her child. She isn't thinking of what if. She is just concerned that he won't be with her. No concern, grief or mourning for her flesh and blood that she gave birth to. She may be the bigger monster. IMO of course......

 

[Renee110]

Thank you for that insight Tortoise. That's what we Websleuths who rely solely from online media outlets. We don't get to see the expressions or mannerisms that is essential for profiling. That's why I would dearly love for Crown Courts to have a specific channel on TV. Not just visualising from sketches done by artists from the proceedings.

Well bruising doesn't continue after death. Hoping that forensics/Mortician took many photos. Of the injuries externally. I just can't get my head around how on earth did they quieten Ellie in the days following her fractured scapula. My son broke his shoulder socket. By falling off a 2 foot high wall. 😩
The orthopedic surgeon said then my sons injury was an uncommon one too. I showed him the picture of the wall. It's no more than 2ft. But it's the way he fell. Awkwardly. But getting back to Ellie. My son was white/grey in shock. He was shaking feeling sick and by now crying. He was a biggish lad. Almost 6ft. At 15. And he was inconsolable. So I can only imagine what Ellie must of felt. Pain wise.
We took our lad to hospital. He was slabbed up with a cast over his shoulder down his arm. High up on his chest. Sent home with Morphine. With Morphine drenched cotton in his nostrils. He slept on and of and on our arrival back in hospital the following morning.
The only thing I can think of is that Jennie must of bought some fenergen. Used to be given to toddlers who wouldn't sleep.
She must of doped Ellie up with something similar.
As Ellie's video with closed eyes. Is for sure not 'normal'.


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BBM

I truly believe she was so used to abuse by this time that she was going into her "safe place" and trying as hard as she could to NOT hear her daddy escalating into a rage that would eventually end with her. She was preparing herself.

I hate him.

AND her momma.

 

[Renee110]

I'd imagine it's some sort of coping strategy - film the people who are filming you. She has to stand there when she wants a smoke. I don't think she's building evidence of stalking if that's what you mean.

I can say with utmost certainty, that if my precious daughter was dead, and trial was going on, my head would not be thinking "film the news crew" while I was on break from trial. I see NO grief or remorse or concern in her face whatsoever. I really think she is worse than her partner. A mother would DIE for her child. Not this one.

I am really staring to hate this one. IMO JMO as always

 

[cottonweaver]

I'm not sure if she is protective, I think she is claiming innocence. I'll tell you what she reminds me of, a mouthy school girl, a belligerent teenager. I'd say she's stuck somewhere at a teenage stage of development. It is just anti-authority, so disrespectful, when she was told off by the security officer for making too much noise she gave her such a dirty look. The pair of them are like equals, I can imagine them going at each other like two dogs in a fight, She isn't submissive.

Yes, thanks, my headache's cleared. I think I suffer from caffeine withdrawal when I go to court.

BIB I really can't figure this woman out at all. Both accomplice ( stood by all the times he abused Ellie in the past etc) and she is a victim of his abuse.)
Most of the court photos of her , she has that defiant, naughty expression but in this one from autumn 2012 she looks both haunted as well as your U/L.



I still wonder if she is making all the fuss in the dock cause it is him in the stand at the moment. Her appearance on Monday will be telling - will she aim to protect herself or will her focus really be him. She never really protected herself from his abuse and she did even less guarding of those kids, as he was Number 1 - by keep letting him do sole child care , she almost offered them up to him on a platter. Mind-boggling.

 

[cottonweaver]

Sorry this may be massively O/T but hope you get my point.

The whole it wasnt me it was the ventouse 'damage' etc really rubs me up the wrong way. 3 out of my 4 babies were forceps births, I dont know why ellie was born via ventouse but in my case it was because my babies/my life was in grave danger.

Anyway my point is, because of these horrific full on quick get em out births, my babies are even more precious to me. Im not a ridiculously overly protective(who am I kidding?) mum but I would kill anyone who looked at my kids wrong nevermind pulverised their beautiful wee bodies.

As for the list of Ellies wrongs, thats pretty much my 7 year old... she's a kid, thats normal no?! I just dont get this pair, particularly JG. I do not trust that she wasn't fully involved, but then I think that he would probably happily throw her under the bus... hmm

Tried to reply last night but the site or my laptop was acting up- very slow.

I don't think that is off topic at all. Indeed your experience highlights why we'd normally expect her to be more protective - if she has had ventouse. ( Then later on , of course the terminations and gyn. complications. ) Lots of mums would be wrapping their surviving kids up in "cotton wool" - seems like a natural response to me that would take years to shake off.

Your BIB - there is that lingering issue of the 1 hour she was home. Are we certain that Ellie was actually dead before she got home? Yes probably but she has acted so badly that it is hard to not have it lingering in the back of your mind.

 

[cottonweaver]

Sorry cotton and tortoise, dunno how to multi quote yet!! That was why I was thinking that the killer blow came from the living room floor, more likely a concrete one IF he didnt hit her with something etc?! Need to see the pics of the outside if the flat again. Infact whats the address, can look for floor plans?

here's the outside daisglen.

The block looks like the usual concrete and steel construction method which goes up first , BUT even in those , often the floors themselves are wooden because of the load bearing issues. but really IDK in this case.



I did once live in a 60s flat , the upstairs was definitely wooden floorboards( where he says he found Ellie) , cannot remember the downstairs floor - think it was wooden-it had a concrete walkway like this one does in the photo. Who knows.

 

[Rayemonde]

I think that if BB was found not guilty and released, this "mother" would again move in with him, fight to have their surviving.kids returned, allow him to abuse them, fail to get medical attention for them, cover up for him if he accidentally murdered one of them and then fight to clear his name.

 

[jog]

Hi I have just joined although have been following this case all the way through and think the information posted is fantastic . It is information we would never have reported or reported correctly by the media .I am actually a solicitor in England so can probably answer a lot of the ques raised regarding why things have been done in a certain way throughout the trial. I also have lots of ques to ask as well but I am not sure I am posting correctly so will write further when I can see if this post workst

I can say with utmost certainty, that if my precious daughter was dead, and trial was going on, my head would not be thinking "film the news crew" while I was on break from trial. I see NO grief or remorse or concern in her face whatsoever. I really think she is worse than her partner. A mother would DIE for her child. Not this one.

I am really staring to hate this one. IMO JMO as always

 

[Tortoise]

I can say with utmost certainty, that if my precious daughter was dead, and trial was going on, my head would not be thinking "film the news crew" while I was on break from trial. I see NO grief or remorse or concern in her face whatsoever. I really think she is worse than her partner. A mother would DIE for her child. Not this one.

I am really staring to hate this one. IMO JMO as always

I have tried hard to work her out, from observing her behaviour in the dock, and also from the information in the family court proceedings and other sources such as her texts, letters, diary entries, and his references to her during his own testimony.

She lies, just like him. So whatever she is going to say on the witness stand has to be viewed with scepticism. Lies we know about -

1. her benefit fraud conviction somewhere around 2009/10,
2. her false names to check in for second child's birth, her pregnancy terminations and other hospital admissions in 2013,
3. her police interviews after Ellie's death and later admission to perverting the course of justice,
4. her staged 999 emergency call - even going so far as to carry out CPR on Ellie's body - that has to be the biggest crime and insult to her child's body and life known to man. Not actually summoning life saving treatment when she was first available to and then falsely portraying an attempt to save her life - knowing she has been left laying dead on the floor for over 2 hours.
5. accusing the taxi driver of lying that she told him her child was seriously ill. He knows she said that because that is the only reason he accepted her fare, he didn't want to go to Sutton because of the previous night's storm chaos on the roads.
6. cutting up cake and pretending to her other child that she should go and wake up Ellie. Setting her own 4 year old child up in the cover up of the death of her own big sister!
7. denying she changed her clothes, or washed her bloodied shirt.
8. Telling work colleagues that BB had gone away and Ellie was being looked after by some unknown godfather.
9. Now trying to cast suspicion on her own parents that Ellie suffered untreated head injuries / skull fractures while in their care.
10. Accusing the school of victimising her and BB, to deflect attention from their growing concern about Ellie's frequent absences.
11. Being violently assaulted by BB and telling the police he had never hurt her.
12. Saying she heard Ellie playing in her room when we know she cannot have been.

Ok, I'm sure I could think of more but I think I've established that we aren't going to hear the truth when she takes the oath.

So I turn next to her own position as a victim of BB's physical and verbal abuse. I think I can see how he does it. In his text messages he says he can't abide her, he loathes everything about her. In court he says he hated her with a vengeance BUT he does love her, they are good as best friends, and he was grossly unfair to her, she is blameless, and he can see why she was behaving the way she was. He takes away from her and then he gives her a little something back, a small glimmer of love.

She is deluded, absolutely deluded. She is there only for those little glimmers. If there weren't any she would be on to her next abuser. That's the way it goes. Find someone who treats you like you're not deserving of love but if there is a small hope, see if you can change that around. Her internet search history from 3 months before she met BB is proof of that too - "I'm addicted to a man who doesn't love me". So she is locked in this dysfunctional lifestyle where she goes after men who don't love.

Now I turn to her behaviour in court, this teenage rebelliousness, bubble gum blowing and talking out when she should be silent in court. I am convinced she has not matured beyond that teenage mindset. She had a terrible relationship with her father and that is her unresolved quest in her relationships. I believe she thought, with the mind of a 15 year old, if I have his baby, he will love me, he will grow to love me, we can play happy families. Her babies were not born to be loved, they were born to be pawns, a means of getting love for herself. When first one went into care, she tried again, and when that one went into care she kept on going. Not because she wanted to be a parent or wanted her children but because she was trying to trap him into a relationship he couldn't leave without also leaving his children.

That is where I think she is - she never wanted her children. Real love is not in her range of feelings, she has no motherly instincts. She is playing at mummies and daddies, without being the mummy, that is just a sideshow, wanting only to be the alluring temptress to him. Getting her breasts enlarged, praying for a boy because that might work, it might be the key to getting loved.

I am not excusing her. Far from it. I am just trying to make sense of her. I think her failures to Ellie were equal to his. It's a shame she isn't facing the same charges, because cruelty doesn't seem enough. She virtually conspired in Ellie's death. She could not put Ellie's life first. Everything she did that day was to save herself and BB. She should never be allowed anywhere near her own surviving child.

 

[Tortoise]

Hi I have just joined although have been following this case all the way through and think the information posted is fantastic . It is information we would never have reported or reported correctly by the media .I am actually a solicitor in England so can probably answer a lot of the ques raised regarding why things have been done in a certain way throughout the trial. I also have lots of ques to ask as well but I am not sure I am posting correctly so will write further when I can see if this post workst

Great! and welcome to the forum! Look forward to your input

 

[jog]

I agree. Initially I had a lot of sympathy for JG and will still reserve my position pending her evidence on Monday. My issue is this, she seems totally obsessed with BB. Let's remember she didn't really know him when she got pregnant but still after the incident in 2007 chooses him over Ellie as she knows e would not harm Ellie ! How doe she know this when they haven't even been in a proper relationship. Al she had to do was accept it was a possibility BB had done wrong and she would have kept Ellie but she chose not to! She then has another child whilst judging by her web searches BB is being violent to her or hates her and the new child so she was clearly still seeing him then contrary to be interview in 2012 where she says she hid 60miles away under a false name on her own. Then when the second child is taken he is convicted of violence and Although still violent towards her she still hides it all and doesn't mention it to the high court and wins Ellie back from the grandparents. The violence continues and clearly she knows he has a problem with ELlie hence her diary notes but allows it to continue even making excuses for Ellie's non attendance at school and being aggressive in tone and manner to the school. We then have poor Ellie's death and again she has accepted perverting the course of justice , full details of which will probably become clear on Monday but the crux is she once again but BB before Ellie . Then whilst the matter is being investigated they remain an item until March when he is remanded into custody and charged and she is blowing kisses in the court to him! Even then I could still just think maybe just maybe she was so downtrodden she couldn't stop it all and then in the event of Ellie's death and the younger child being taken that she just stuck with him rather than be alone because I don't think her family want to know her. However on now seeing all the evidence especially that awful video and also hearing him effectively sell her down the river you would think she would want nothing to do with him but it doesn't appear like that at all. Maybe Monday will surprise us but I doubt it! Incidentally my thoughts on that video of ELlie are maybe she was being punished by him at the time hence her standing there like that with her arms by her side but that's only my view.

Tortoise you mentioned posting about swimming kit and ears pinned back but I haven't seen anything unless I missed it Also are both families still there. Also do we know if family have got the youngest or has she now been out with more strangers?

My concern is he will walk on this and ironically as he hasn't to my knowledge been charged with pervweting the course of justice JG will receive a custodial sentence whilst he is free. Just a thought !

Re plans of the house I am sure the jury will have been shown pictures and the layout so it is a bit clearer for them as to where it took place. Would be interesting to know if Ellie's room was above the lounge where he was napping as one would have expected him to hear the bang of Ellie falling if that was the case!

 

[Rayemonde]

Oh, about the ear-pinning appointment... I think he used to emotionally abuse Ellie as well as physically abusing her. I think he used to taunt her, tell her she was ugly and he was embarrassed to be seen with her... "You're so hideous, look at those ears... I think I'll take you to the doctor to get them pinned back so I don't have to look at them all day"...

I think he wanted complete control over Ellie, and wanted to break her spirit and make her into a submissive slave. That's what the lists of her behaviour and texts about being harder on her were about. I'm sure he used to insult and humiliate Ellie the same way he did to her mother.

Also, I'm not sure when she was supposed to have wet herself in relation to the old head injuries, but couldn't a brain injury cause her to wet herself... Or maybe she was in agony from a broken shoulder or another injury and didn't want to move to use the loo... Or maybe he used to shut her in her room and not let her use the toilet - I've seen that in quite a few other child abuse cases. Or maybe she wet herself with fear whilst she was being beaten

All just MOO.

 

[theirmommy]

good morning. RIP sweet Ellie. I started following this yesterday. I am on thread 11. Can someone please tell me what BIB is??? Is that the same as BBM? (Bolded by me) Im guessing BIB is the same acronym as BBM, just what you all use over in the UK?
I checked the abbreviations page and its not listed. I don't want to scroll through & see if someone already asked because I want to go through page by page. TIA!

 

[Supernovae]

BBM

I truly believe she was so used to abuse by this time that she was going into her "safe place" and trying as hard as she could to NOT hear her daddy escalating into a rage that would eventually end with her. She was preparing herself.

I hate him.

AND her momma.

That would certainly fit in with the impression I got of the video clip (which I don't know if you've seen).

 

[Supernovae]

Very good post!

I agree with all you said except for the bolded part (BBM).

All she wanted was to be loved. And that excuses her from protecting her children. I disagree. I want to be loved too. I wouldn't sacrifice my child though.

What I am having a hard time with ..... is I can SORT of see in the moment.... she herself is being abused and groomed and brainwashed....

BUT. This is later now. Her daughter is DEAD. A VIOLENT, PAINFUL DEATH. She has had time away from him, time to miss her daughter, time for reality to really sink in that poor Ellie is dead, gone forever.

And yet she still defends and protects the man who murdered her daughter.

She is beyond help. Beyond reproach. IMO.

I may have felt some kind of empathy for her if she had come to her senses. I do understand that abuse is real, that the abuser makes you feel responsible.

BUT, after time apart, IMO she should have snapped into reality.... and be angry, full of grief, and looking for answers. The fact that she still takes his side, and is still blaming the poor child..... I can't get onboard with that. She is as much a sociapath as he is, in my book.

But still, I agree with the rest of your post!

And JMO..... we need people like you that don't jump to judgement and condemn. This post was just to relay my own opinion.

This is why I think they are both narcissists in different forms. JG is completely wrapped up in this fantasy world she has of what her life should be like, which she prioritises above all else. She's also completely detached from reality (see the online searches for magic spells).

 

[Supernovae]

I believe she thought, with the mind of a 15 year old, if I have his baby, he will love me, he will grow to love me, we can play happy families. Her babies were not born to be loved, they were born to be pawns, a means of getting love for herself. When first one went into care, she tried again, and when that one went into care she kept on going. Not because she wanted to be a parent or wanted her children but because she was trying to trap him into a relationship he couldn't leave without also leaving his children.

That is where I think she is - she never wanted her children. Real love is not in her range of feelings, she has no motherly instincts. She is playing at mummies and daddies, without being the mummy, that is just a sideshow, wanting only to be the alluring temptress to him. Getting her breasts enlarged, praying for a boy because that might work, it might be the key to getting loved.

I can definitely see this.

 

[squish]

I have tried hard to work her out, from observing her behaviour in the dock, and also from the information in the family court proceedings and other sources such as her texts, letters, diary entries, and his references to her during his own testimony.

She lies, just like him. So whatever she is going to say on the witness stand has to be viewed with scepticism. Lies we know about -

1. her benefit fraud conviction somewhere around 2009/10,
2. her false names to check in for second child's birth, her pregnancy terminations and other hospital admissions in 2013,
3. her police interviews after Ellie's death and later admission to perverting the course of justice,
4. her staged 999 emergency call - even going so far as to carry out CPR on Ellie's body - that has to be the biggest crime and insult to her child's body and life known to man. Not actually summoning life saving treatment when she was first available to and then falsely portraying an attempt to save her life - knowing she has been left laying dead on the floor for over 2 hours.
5. accusing the taxi driver of lying that she told him her child was seriously ill. He knows she said that because that is the only reason he accepted her fare, he didn't want to go to Sutton because of the previous night's storm chaos on the roads.
6. cutting up cake and pretending to her other child that she should go and wake up Ellie. Setting her own 4 year old child up in the cover up of the death of her own big sister!
7. denying she changed her clothes, or washed her bloodied shirt.
8. Telling work colleagues that BB had gone away and Ellie was being looked after by some unknown godfather.
9. Now trying to cast suspicion on her own parents that Ellie suffered untreated head injuries / skull fractures while in their care.
10. Accusing the school of victimising her and BB, to deflect attention from their growing concern about Ellie's frequent absences.
11. Being violently assaulted by BB and telling the police he had never hurt her.
12. Saying she heard Ellie playing in her room when we know she cannot have been.

Ok, I'm sure I could think of more but I think I've established that we aren't going to hear the truth when she takes the oath.

So I turn next to her own position as a victim of BB's physical and verbal abuse. I think I can see how he does it. In his text messages he says he can't abide her, he loathes everything about her. In court he says he hated her with a vengeance BUT he does love her, they are good as best friends, and he was grossly unfair to her, she is blameless, and he can see why she was behaving the way she was. He takes away from her and then he gives her a little something back, a small glimmer of love.

She is deluded, absolutely deluded. She is there only for those little glimmers. If there weren't any she would be on to her next abuser. That's the way it goes. Find someone who treats you like you're not deserving of love but if there is a small hope, see if you can change that around. Her internet search history from 3 months before she met BB is proof of that too - "I'm addicted to a man who doesn't love me". So she is locked in this dysfunctional lifestyle where she goes after men who don't love.

Now I turn to her behaviour in court, this teenage rebelliousness, bubble gum blowing and talking out when she should be silent in court. I am convinced she has not matured beyond that teenage mindset. She had a terrible relationship with her father and that is her unresolved quest in her relationships. I believe she thought, with the mind of a 15 year old, if I have his baby, he will love me, he will grow to love me, we can play happy families. Her babies were not born to be loved, they were born to be pawns, a means of getting love for herself. When first one went into care, she tried again, and when that one went into care she kept on going. Not because she wanted to be a parent or wanted her children but because she was trying to trap him into a relationship he couldn't leave without also leaving his children.

That is where I think she is - she never wanted her children. Real love is not in her range of feelings, she has no motherly instincts. She is playing at mummies and daddies, without being the mummy, that is just a sideshow, wanting only to be the alluring temptress to him. Getting her breasts enlarged, praying for a boy because that might work, it might be the key to getting loved.

I am not excusing her. Far from it. I am just trying to make sense of her. I think her failures to Ellie were equal to his. It's a shame she isn't facing the same charges, because cruelty doesn't seem enough. She virtually conspired in Ellie's death. She could not put Ellie's life first. Everything she did that day was to save herself and BB. She should never be allowed anywhere near her own surviving child.

Fascinating post Tortoise. Much of the reason that I am following this case is because I'm trying to work out JG's psychology.

What you have posted is exactly what I gleaned that JG is like, and what I guessed that her relationship with her children was all about.

From what I had read, I had thought that she was juvenile. Her searching for spells to make BB love her, and writing silly prayers to goddesses are the type of things that an adolescent girl would do.

I had wondered what on earth JG sees in BB, but it makes sense if JG's emotional and romantic development is stuck in the adolescent stage. Adolescent girls often develop raging crushes on the baddest, most confident, most dangerous, most aggressive boys, mistaking that behaviour for being alpha males. It makes the young girls feel special and flattered to imagine that while their crush is dangerous to everyone else, he is kind to her because he loves her so much.

Fortunately, as most girls finish puberty, they realise that most of these dangerous boys are worthless losers. Also, the way girls become attracted to boys matures: adolescents develop fast, spontaneous, addictive, intense, irrational, uncontrollable, hormonal attractions, whereas adults slowly grow to like the objects of their desires, taking into account more important things like personality, compatibility, shared values etc. Adults have more control over who they are attracted to.

It seems to me that JG never matured past the adolescent stage of developing addictive crushes (that she mistakes for love) to "bad boys".

Also her googling about being addicted to a man who doesn't love her (presumably a different man to BB since it was before they met) shows her mindset. Love chemicals can be addictive; if we view JG as an addict and BB as her fix, her behaviour starts to make sense. Many addicts will neglect or sacrifice everything and everyone else in their lives, just so they can get their fix.

I agree with your impression that BB loathed her, but would charm her with glimmers of care and affection to keep her clinging on. He would beat her right down (literally and metaphorically) then uplift her just enough to keep her hopes up. That is a common dynamic with abusive partnerships.

I also agree that JG viewed her children as little more than props in her fantasy family life with BB. She got pregnant immediately upon meeting him because she childishly thought it would trap him and make him love her, then repeatedly got pregnant with similar intentions. When the children were with them, she viewed them through the lens of her fantasy relationship with BB. I believe she only fought to get them back so that she could play happy families with BB, to feed her fantasy of love and life with him. I believe BB only fought up get the children back to prove his innocence, and out of a sense of possessiveness. I think them working hard together to fight for custody of the children would have fed her fantasy of them having loving unity together.

In her prayer writings, her hopes for her children are mentioned near the end almost as an afterthought. In statement analysis, order indicates priority, so her children were low down in her list of priorities.

I also think that she may have sometimes bullied Ellie to impress BB and show solidarity with him. Like in the texts when BB called Ellie a **** for wetting herself, and JG agrees that she should be tougher on her and that she wants BB to be tougher too.

I suspect that JG's standing by her man is partly because he is her addiction, and partly because BB will throw JG under the bus and tell the court of any abuse that JG participated in if JG doesn't support him.