(posted this in the wrong thread so I am moving it over here :blushing: )
lI've been trying to take a break this weekend for some things that have been put off too long *cough*, but have popped in and out to read many great posts.
There are some things I need to get out:
The one thing ALV is correct about is the difference between thinking of yourself as a victim vs a survivor.
A victim feels helpless, less than, responsible for...
A survivor feels powerful, having gone thru, reclaiming their life and power...
It may sound like wordplay to some, but as one who has made this transition through a lot of hard work, it is a powerful difference in thinking.
Travis was a victim as a child, as were his siblings. Like far too many children, they were born into an unstable situation with parents battling the grip of addiction. They suffered with little food, little to no supervision, no stable place to live, little to no nurturing and guidance, etc.
Then his grandparents took them in and they were given love, a stable home, introduced to their religious beliefs, food to eat, nurturing, values, etc.
With his Grandmother's love and his own choices, Travis became a survivor as an adult. The terrible circumstances of his childhood did happen, but he was moving forward and claiming his life as his own. He was happy, funny, surrounded by friends and loved ones, successful and loving.
Then comes Jodi. Travis being a caring, loving person is a perfect target for a manipulative psychopath like Jodi (through NO fault on his part). Those who have been victims in the past are often far more forgiving than is good for them. Often their past abusers have "guilted them" and manipulated them. It is easy to fall into an old role, esp if you haven't had an opportunity to work through your past and see clearly the manipulations you were subjected to. Even if you do realize what is happening, people like Jodi are relentless, persistant, deceptive and manipulative to a degree I hope you never see in your lives.
So along comes Jodi, she sees what she wants in Travis and sets out to get it. Her stalking (and YES it was stalking), her manipulations through her "teach poor little me about the business", use of sex as a tie to him even after their break up, etc were all ways she tried to keep him in her life after it was clear he wanted out. By the time she moved back to Yreka, Travis knew who Jodi was and wanted nothing to do with her.
Then, of course, June 4. I believe Travis made it absolutely clear (as if his text was not clear enough??) that he was DONE with her and she killed him with a level of brutality that makes our stomachs churn and give us all nightmares. Travis paid the price for Jodi's selfishness and sick mind.
Now Jodi, Dr Fog and ALV get on the stand to try to convince the jury that Travis was the abuser. Travis was depraved. Travis was a user. Travis was this. Travis was that.
Once again, Travis is the victim. A victim of this smear campaign. Victim of Jodi, ALV, Dr. Fog, Nurmi and JW's horse and pony show trying to divert attention from the fact that Jodi is a brutal murderer. Travis is the victim of a court system that allows this to happen. (I understand why. Jodi's word is considered "evidence" and the jury is given the job of deciding what, if any of it, is true. I still HATE that this happens.)
Travis' family, friends and loved ones are victims also. Not only are they victims in the fact that a loved one was brutally taken from them but also victims of the entire defense team. They have had to sit through mind-numbing hours of horrible, heart-breaking lies about Travis. They have had to bite their tongues and swallow their emotions while others - supposed professionals - have behaved like spoiled children, disrespected the court and LIED LIED LIED about Travis.
BUT, and here is the AWESOME PART, Travis and his loved ones will be survivors again! There is NO WAY his family, friends. loved ones, Juan Martinez (and even those of us who only know of him because of this tragedy) will ever let the memories of who Travis really was die! His friends and family, photos from the past, Travis' own words in his blog, etc have all told us who Travis REALLY was. They are becoming survivors through their effort to be there every minute of this trial, through their strength to sit through horrible testimony of Travis' last moments, through their glowing faces and smiles in interviews they give recalling Travis and memories of time with him. All of their efforts remind all of us who Travis really was. A wonderful, loving brother/grandson/friend/man.
In the long run, what JA did to Travis that last day, this trial and all of the BS that has been spewed in testimony is not Travis' legacy. Travis' legacy is the love, zest for life, and generousity his family and friends know he shared during his time here on earth. The love and memories that will be shared with others in the future due to the impact Travis made on others - that is Travis' legacy.
This jury will find Jodi guilty. She will be sentenced and will fade from her 15 minutes of "fame" she has so enjoyed. The smirk on her face will be gone and she will spend whatever time she has left on this earth in a cell with no freedom. No more photography, no more boyfriends, no children, no family - simply the memories of what was and will never be again. Whether her time on earth is limited by the death penalty or life in prison without parole - each day will be spent without the attention she depends on like we need air.
Jodi Arias and her evilness will fade with time.
Travis' love never will.
God bless all who love Travis.
My prayers are for you.
My heart is with you.
