Why has the family not made a public plea?

[Dee10]

I thought Kaine had hired a media consultant, as well. Perhaps under her advice they are sticking with what we hear repeatedly in their media appearances.

Or it could be reporters asking the same questions and the truth (or their opinion) doesn't change.

 

[stmarysmead]

I think a side issue here is that, fairly enough, many feel there has not been enough evidence THAT WE HAVE SEEN that would lead to a conclusion that Terri is guilty of anything. Because of that, many feel Terri is being badly treated by the media and also by Kaine and Desiree. That is fair enough, but only, ONLY if one is certain that LE and Kaine and Desiree know NOTHING more than we do.

So a lot depends on whether we believe Kaine and Desiree have received any more information than the general public.

If that's the case,if we are all just EQUAL in knowledge of the evidence... I agree...if all WE KNOW is ALL THEY know.

But, if we believe that their status has grieving parents (and Tony as fellow LE) has made them a few steps above us in information and evidence sharing...then, criticizing them is unfair and unwarranted. If they know more and are speaking from knowledge WE DON'T Have...who are we to judge in our ignorance of that evidence?

So it really comes down to whether one believes we are EQUAL in knowledge of this entire case as the grieving parents of the actual VICTIM ...or, as amateur sleuthers on the Internet forum...maybe not so much.

 

[Aedrys]

And I wish different aspects of this case could be discussed without it turning into "us versus them." If you're on Kyron's side, then we're on the same side. Our approach may be different, but we want, long for, and ache for the same thing and that is for Kyron to be returned to those who love him.

The armchair judging goes both ways -- so many assert we shouldn't judge how Desiree and Kaine are acting and reacting because of what's going on in their lives, but many have judged Terri based on personal experiences and/or biases, conflicting information, rumors, gossip, and have used that judgment to convict her. From the first press conference, she was judged -- she blinked too many times, she looked at Desiree, she was fake-crying, etc. You would think that you'd fall apart if your child went missing, but would you? Or would shock take over? You would think you'd lay it all on the table, but would you? It's easy for many to say they'd handle it better than Terri when their children are safe and they aren't under suspicion. And innocent people do come under suspicion. Jaycee Dugard's stepfather was under a cloud of suspicion for years.

I'm not nor have I ever said that innocent people don't get suspected. I just don't think that's the case here. And it wasn't her blinking in that presser that got me. It was the fact that this beloved child was gone and all she is doing is looking for approval or trying to get sympathy out of the other parents. No tears, no missing Kyron, no acting like him missing devastated her in any way. I can't believe that her off behavior is just okay with some people. She should have been tearful, she should have been saying how much she loved and missed Kyron, and she should have been grieving and upset WITH the rest of them, not trying like a kid to get their attention when the attention should have been focused on KYRON, not her. But no, it's THEIR fault for not being nice to her. Sheesh.

They have not made bad decisions like Terri has, they actually LOVE Kyron and Terri doesn't even care about her own children much less Kyron, and it seems to me that there's this strange notion that if Terri is innocent, then KH and DY are these monsters that either made her that way or they are the ones that did something to Kyron. I don't understand if she's innocent, then why can't all four parents be considered innocent? If she's innocent, why must the other three parents be criticized and thought of as these horrible people that abused Terri and made a victim out of her? Or they must be the ones that did something to Kyron?

It's confusing to say the least. I do think we're all on Kyron's team here, but Terri has her own free will. She was having whole life behind Kaine's back, telling her friends horrible things about him that probably weren't true, but he tells her not to talk the press and she just meekly goes along? I don't think so. She can't hide behind Kaine and pretend he's the monster because she chose, by her own free will, to not talk. Kaine can't force her to her keep her mouth shut. I mean, if Kaine told her to jump off a bridge, would she be then forced to do that just because he said so? She is not some meek housewife controlled by her husband. She is a grown woman that has made a lot of juvenile and disgusting decisions - and that is on HER, not anyone else in her life.

I get that there's the minute chance that she's innocent. I'm willing to talk about there being the minute chance that there is a random perp out there. But I am not going to then agree that KH, DY, and TY must these horrible people that made poor Terri's life hell or that they are at fault for what happened to Kyron. I refuse to place blame on these people or criticize them in any way if Terri is innocent. If she is innocent, then it is far more likely, IMO, that this was some random perp than other three parents in Kyron's life. And I refuse to place any responsibility whatsoever on them for what happened to Kyron. No matter what they've done in their lives or who they really are, they love that boy and would not do anything to harm him or bring to harm to him.

Not pleaing to a kidnapper does not make them stupid or horrible people. They've done what they can do here. They've taken advice and are following it. They're able to get out of bed everyday and keep looking for Kyron. What more can we possible expect out of them?

 

[cypress]

They have not made bad decisions like Terri has, they actually LOVE Kyron and Terri doesn't even care about her own children much less Kyron, and it seems to me that there's this strange notion that if Terri is innocent, then KH and DY are these monsters that either made her that way or they are the ones that did something to Kyron. I don't understand why is she's innocent, then why can't all four parents be considered innocent? If she's innocent, why must the other three parents be criticized and thought of as these horrible people that abused Terri and made a victim out of her?

It's confusing to say the least. I do think we're all on Kyron's team here, but Terri has her own free will. She was having whole life behind Kaine's back, but her tells her not to talk the press and she just meekly goes along? I don't think so. She can't hide behind Kaine and pretend he's the monster because she chose, by her own free will, to not talk. Kaine can't force her to her keep her mouth shut. I mean, if Kaine told her to jump off a bridge, would she be then forced to do that just because he said so? She is not some meek housewife controlled by her husband. She is a grown woman that has made a lot of juvenile and disgusting decisions - and that is on HER, not anyone else in her life.

I get that there's the minute chance that she's innocent. I'm willing to talk about there being the minute chance that there is a random perp out there. But I am not going to then agree that KH, DY, and TY must these horrible people that made poor Terri's life hell or that they are at fault for what happened to Kyron. I refuse to place blame on these people or criticize them in any way if Terri is innocent. If she is innocent, then it is far more likely, IMO, that this was some random perp than other three parents in Kyron's life. And I refuse to place any responsibility whatsoever on them for what happened to Kyron. No matter what they've done in their lives or who they really are, they love that boy and would not do anything to harm him or bring to harm to him.

Not pleaing to a kidnapper does not make them stupid or horrible people. They've done what they can do here. They've taken advice and are following it. They're able to get out of bed everyday and keep looking for Kyron. What more can we possible expect out of them?

Where has anyone said either Desiree or Kaine are stupid or horrible for not addressing the person or persons currently holding Kyron hostage?

Please, link me to those posts.

My posts do not reflect a mindset even close to that accusation. However, I am curious about why they wouldn't address Kyron's captors at every available opportunity. There may be valid reasons why they're not addressing his captors, and this thread is a discussion toward that end.

And, yes, Kyron's parents are distraught and grieving, but they are still accountable for their actions. If they choose to speak out publicly against Terri and Dede, then their accusations and the logic and information on which they base those accusations should be open for discussion.

 

[stmarysmead]

Where has anyone said either Desiree or Kaine are stupid or horrible for not addressing the person or persons currently holding Kyron hostage?

Please, link me to those posts.

My posts do not reflect a mindset even close to that accusation. However, I am curious about why they wouldn't address Kyron's captors at every available opportunity. There may be valid reasons why they're not addressing his captors, and this thread is a discussion toward that end.

And, yes, Kyron's parents are distraught and grieving, but they are still accountable for their actions. If they choose to speak out publicly against Terri and Dede, then their accusations and the logic and information on which they base those accusations should be open for discussion.

But, is there an assumption that Kaine and Teri know nothing more of the evidence than we, the general public do? That is quite an assumption on our part...but unless we believe that...how can we criticize their focus on Terri in these interviews? Or criticize any way they conduct these public events?

I do not believe that the grieving parents know NOTHING more than I do. Therefore, I'm speaking from much less knowledge of where this case is NOW...and where it is going. That is not a position that allows me, in my view, to critique them from a standpoint of LESSER information...on what they should or should not say or do.

I would be a back seat drivers wearing a blindfold to do that...IMO

 

[cluciano63]

Sometimes it scares me, though, that if they are right, that somehow by attacking Terri so vehemently, it could somehow backfire and harm the chances, if any, of getting Kyron back alive. I mean, even if Kyron reappears suddenly, I don't think D&K could ever be convinced that Terri was not involved, so she may feel "doomed" already and if she is guilty, she may have "contacts" whom she might advise that it is safer to make sure Kyron is not alive at this point.

I'm not explaining this well, but it is just worrying...if one pictures Terri sitting in that Roseburg house getting angrier and angrier and somehow reaches out and "gives the order" to do away with Kyron. I mean, some people seem to believe she has a complex network of "helpers", so she would have a way to get word to them.

 

[Cher352]

If LE was telling me that any extra info I gave out could harm the case and make them unable to distinguish real from fake evidence, or harm the eventual prosecution of the perpetrator of the crime, then I would forgo the satisfaction of giving the hungry public what they want in favor of helping the search and the eventual prosecution case.

Yes, I can see that but what is the point on being on the media only to say the same TH things? Already the people are not viewing and discussing these interviews the way they were in the beginning both here and on the media's threads. Just saying that if there is nothing new people will lose interest and that can't be good...IMO.

 

[Cher352]

Sometimes it scares me, though, that if they are right, that somehow by attacking Terri so vehemently, it could somehow backfire and harm the chances, if any, of getting Kyron back alive. I mean, even if Kyron reappears suddenly, I don't think D&K could ever be convinced that Terri was not involved, so she may feel "doomed" already and if she is guilty, she may have "contacts" whom she might advise that it is safer to make sure Kyron is not alive at this point.

I'm not explaining this well, but it is just worrying...if one pictures Terri sitting in that Roseburg house getting angrier and angrier and somehow reaches out and "gives the order" to do away with Kyron. I mean, some people seem to believe she has a complex network of "helpers", so she would have a way to get word to them.

Oh what a scary thought!

 

[debs]

I just rewatched (well, watched for the first time other than clips) the Dateline interview with Kaine and Desiree and Tony. Desiree has written a letter directed at the person (scratched out and she put persons) holding Kyron.

I guess it isn't because someone has told them to not talk directly to the people (or person) who has them.

So why then are they spending all their time on Terri?

 

[Donjeta]

I hate feeling so cynical but I really don't believe that parental pleas will work. Whether they talk to Terri or about her, to a stranger or about him/her, I don't believe that it will make a difference. It might make the person angry or scared or he/she might get some kicks seeing their anguish but I don't believe that the person will suddenly grow a conscience and a capacity for empathy and respect for other people's feelings that he/she didn't have in June when abducting Kyron and let him go. If the abductor didn't give a darn in June that Kyron wanted to be home with his parents, he/she is not going to care now that Kyron's parents want him to be home.

 

[ami]

Yes, I can see that but what is the point on being on the media only to say the same TH things? Already the people are not viewing and discussing these interviews the way they were in the beginning both here and on the media's threads. Just saying that if there is nothing new people will lose interest and that can't be good...IMO.

Didn't we just hear someone on one of these threads say that the Oprah show was the first time her sister had even heard about this case?

WE have been following the case and WE know they are saying the same things, but they aren't trying to reach US as an audience, are they? They are trying to reach people who don't know Kyron's face and don't know he's missing! Not everyone follows this as closely as we do. Therefore whatever they say is NEW INFO to quite a few people in their audience.

They go on the news and talkshows to reach people and spread the word and face of their son. They appear, they talk, Kyron's face is broadcast widely and so they have just accomplished what they set out to do.

Their job as I see it is not to entertain an already well-informed audience and keep us supplied with fresh subject matter for speculation threads, but to keep finding new people who haven't heard of kyron and inform them that this boy was and might still be alive, he's missing, and this is what his face looks like. Don't forget him. Think of anything strange you've seen. Keep your eyes open. As long as shows are willing to have Kaine and Desiree on and to keep spreading Kyron's face and story, I'm not at all surprised they'd keep appearing. At this point it is the very best they can do for their son.

 

[Amster]

I just rewatched (well, watched for the first time other than clips) the Dateline interview with Kaine and Desiree and Tony. Desiree has written a letter directed at the person (scratched out and she put persons) holding Kyron.

I guess it isn't because someone has told them to not talk directly to the people (or person) who has them.

So why then are they spending all their time on Terri?

I have no clue...:waitasec:

Here are a few guesses, though.

They have an irrational hate for Terri
They are the reason Kyron is gone and want to deflect attention
They know Kyron is dead, know who did it, (not Terri, of course) and are protecting that person

Or....this is just rank speculation....they were with Terri during the first days of Kyron's disappearance. They were able to observe her up close and personal. They believe ( maybe they're lying) that Terri flunked 2 poly's. Somehow, (may be a lie) Desiree read some disturbing e-mails of Terri's. For some reason, LE thinks Terri tried to hire a landscaper to murder Kaine....again, for some strange reason, Kaine actually believes it. Terri was sexting and sending pics of her hoo ha to an old HS friend of Kaines....guy who showed up to help search for Kyron (Kaine may have put this guy up to seducing Terri...to further make her look bad), etc., etc.

There just HAS to be a reason why these 2 people keep harping on Terri. Something other than what we've been told. I suppose it's possible that they know a LOT more about her and her timeline and her attitude and actions than we do, but really? Maybe....Terri knows some really, really bad stuff about THEM and Tony and this is their way of telling her to keep her mouth shut! OR, maybe she didn't!! Maybe she spilled it all to LE, so these 2, Kaine and Desiree (and perhaps Tony) desperately need to discredit her!!

wow

 

[Kat010]

I think a side issue here is that, fairly enough, many feel there has not been enough evidence THAT WE HAVE SEEN that would lead to a conclusion that Terri is guilty of anything. Because of that, many feel Terri is being badly treated by the media and also by Kaine and Desiree. That is fair enough, but only, ONLY if one is certain that LE and Kaine and Desiree know NOTHING more than we do.

So a lot depends on whether we believe Kaine and Desiree have received any more information than the general public.

If that's the case,if we are all just EQUAL in knowledge of the evidence... I agree...if all WE KNOW is ALL THEY know.

But, if we believe that their status has grieving parents (and Tony as fellow LE) has made them a few steps above us in information and evidence sharing...then, criticizing them is unfair and unwarranted. If they know more and are speaking from knowledge WE DON'T Have...who are we to judge in our ignorance of that evidence?

So it really comes down to whether one believes we are EQUAL in knowledge of this entire case as the grieving parents of the actual VICTIM ...or, as amateur sleuthers on the Internet forum...maybe not so much.

bbm

First of all, KH & DY should not be equal with LE in terms of what they know. If they are, there's something very very rotten in Denmark.

And we don't know how much they really know, do we? All we know for sure that LE has told KH is that there was an alleged murder for hire plot. Alleged. (Nor charges to date.) All the rest is KH & DY personal opinion, and their unsubstantiated statements--as far as we know.

In fact, LE began to back away from KH & DY's statements, and at one point even issued an official statement that the information in one of the KH/DY press conferences did *not* come from LE.

So, basically, we don't really know how much of what KH/DY say is related to anything at all that LE has told them, and how much is just personal stuff. Therefore, it's fair to hold their public pronouncements up for analysis, for that reason as well as many others.

As far as Tony Young--he's already interjected himself into the case, early on, and then used that to contribute to the "smear Terri" approach to PR. He should not have done either of those things. And if he is involved in, or gaining more information than any member of any non-LE victim family would do, then LE has some huge huge ethical problems. Tony's status as a cop in another jurisdiction does not give him entre' into a case involving his family.

Bottom line: people can only listen to two parents using up major media time only to slam one other person for so long before they come up with "been there, done that" not listening any more. KH & DY could have used some media time much better. And saying that is *not* attacking them. It's a simple opinion (also based on years of experience) that they could have done something better. And, let us remember--who among us could not have done things better at certain points? Hey, I have so many "could have done it better" points--and hence, have had so many opportunities to learn how to do it better. Thanks to people letting me know.

In the public eye, people make evaluations and judgments based on what they know at that time, filtered through their own experience, education, personal feelings, and how information is presented to them. So how KH & DY present information in public is powerful. JMO

And if we are not to discuss and express opinions because we don't know everything LE does, because we're not equal with that detective on the street who just came from the team meeting, then what's the purpose of WS? We're here to discuss, knowing that we aren't on the LE team on each case. And we'll never be "equal" with their day-by-day knowledge.

But that doesn't mean that we, being humans, don't draw conclusions from what we do know. Later on, we'll all find out which of our conclusions were flawed at the time we made them. We'll also find out more about all the people involved in this case--hopefully.

Most of all, we need to find out more about where Kyron is and what happened. So I think that dialogue about all aspects, and everyone involved, is a good thing, because I sure want to know what happened to little Kyron. And ultimately, I want someone, whoever, punished. Along with anyone who harmed him before that day.

 

[debs]

Didn't we just hear someone on one of these threads say that the Oprah show was the first time her sister had even heard about this case?

WE have been following the case and WE know they are saying the same things, but they aren't trying to reach US as an audience, are they? They are trying to reach people who don't know Kyron's face and don't know he's missing! Not everyone follows this as closely as we do. Therefore whatever they say is NEW INFO to quite a few people in their audience.

They go on the news and talkshows to reach people and spread the word and face of their son. They appear, they talk, Kyron's face is broadcast widely and so they have just accomplished what they set out to do.

Their job as I see it is not to entertain an already well-informed audience and keep us supplied with fresh subject matter for speculation threads, but to keep finding new people who haven't heard of kyron and inform them that this boy was and might still be alive, he's missing, and this is what his face looks like. Don't forget him. Think of anything strange you've seen. Keep your eyes open. As long as shows are willing to have Kaine and Desiree on and to keep spreading Kyron's face and story, I'm not at all surprised they'd keep appearing. At this point it is the very best they can do for their son.

Desiree's sister was interviewed briefly for the birthday party. If the point is to get Kyron's information out there to people who have never heard about him, then they should have spent their time talking about him, not Terri. I don't know from Oprah's show what his likes and dislikes are, what his hair color is (pictures show dark hair, others describe him as blond), his height, weight, whether those glasses are for reading or all the time, whether he would talk to strangers if he saw them (which if a stranger saw him and said "are you Kyron?" would be helpful to know whether he'd shy away from that or answer), or really I guess anything about Kyron at all.

 

[Calliope]

That Terri hasn't pleaded for Kyron's return is one reason I've seen put forth as pointing to her guilt.

 

[eyes4crime]

I think a side issue here is that, fairly enough, many feel there has not been enough evidence THAT WE HAVE SEEN that would lead to a conclusion that Terri is guilty of anything. Because of that, many feel Terri is being badly treated by the media and also by Kaine and Desiree. That is fair enough, but only, ONLY if one is certain that LE and Kaine and Desiree know NOTHING more than we do.

So a lot depends on whether we believe Kaine and Desiree have received any more information than the general public.

If that's the case,if we are all just EQUAL in knowledge of the evidence... I agree...if all WE KNOW is ALL THEY know.

But, if we believe that their status has grieving parents (and Tony as fellow LE) has made them a few steps above us in information and evidence sharing...then, criticizing them is unfair and unwarranted. If they know more and are speaking from knowledge WE DON'T Have...who are we to judge in our ignorance of that evidence?

So it really comes down to whether one believes we are EQUAL in knowledge of this entire case as the grieving parents of the actual VICTIM ...or, as amateur sleuthers on the Internet forum...maybe not so much.

BBM

Setting ground rules/criteria as to 'when' we should believe or not believe accusations by Kaine and Desiree seems absurd to me. How does one define 'more' and 'equal' information? What the heck does that mean?

This is a case where LE have said NOBODY has been ruled out...LE have yet to name a POI or a suspect. No arrests have been made. Other loved ones of missing children have told us over and over they know what we, the public, knows. Are we to believe Desiree and Kaine are being treated as 'special' by LE?

Could the 'more' information refer to Tony's beliefs as stated on GMA? Or does the 'more' refer to Tony's decision in the beginning that Terri ...just isn't acting right? Something's off! Should we consider Tony's information regarding this case as biased? Or relevant? Or more? Or equal?

I would appreciate a definition of 'more' and 'equal'. TIA

 

[Donjeta]

Desiree's sister was interviewed briefly for the birthday party. If the point is to get Kyron's information out there to people who have never heard about him, then they should have spent their time talking about him, not Terri. I don't know from Oprah's show what his likes and dislikes are, what his hair color is (pictures show dark hair, others describe him as blond), his height, weight, whether those glasses are for reading or all the time, whether he would talk to strangers if he saw them (which if a stranger saw him and said "are you Kyron?" would be helpful to know whether he'd shy away from that or answer), or really I guess anything about Kyron at all.

I'm not sure if the parents can tell what Kyron would or wouldn't do now, based on their knowledge about Kyron from when he hadn't been abducted. If he was painfully shy and didn't talk to anybody no doubt he still is but depending of what he's gone through even a previously brave child might be more scared and shy than he used to be.

 

[debs]

I'm not sure if the parents can tell what Kyron would or wouldn't do now, based on their knowledge about Kyron from when he hadn't been abducted. If he was painfully shy and didn't talk to anybody no doubt he still is but depending of what he's gone through even a previously brave child might be more scared and shy than he used to be.

From the Oprah interview, if reaching an audience who may never have heard of Kyron, I wouldn't know that he's painfully shy.

I know that Kaine and Desiree think Terri did something to him. I, as Jane Q Public, don't know what it is I'm supposed to know about the little boy missing or how I'm supposed to help, or what I can do to get his face out there, since his face wasn't the one portrayed, but the face of the 'evil stepmother' that Kaine and Desiree spent most of their time on national television talking about.

 

[nursebeeme]

Desiree's sister was interviewed briefly for the birthday party. If the point is to get Kyron's information out there to people who have never heard about him, then they should have spent their time talking about him, not Terri. I don't know from Oprah's show what his likes and dislikes are, what his hair color is (pictures show dark hair, others describe him as blond), his height, weight, whether those glasses are for reading or all the time, whether he would talk to strangers if he saw them (which if a stranger saw him and said "are you Kyron?" would be helpful to know whether he'd shy away from that or answer), or really I guess anything about Kyron at all.

:twocents: Oprah is a talk show which is question driven. They answered the questions they were asked. Perhaps someone should have asked Oprah if she could ask the family if they would make a plea.

I am confused why it is so concerning that they did not make a plea when they were busy answering the questions that were asked of them.

MOO
:twocents:

 

[Donjeta]

From the Oprah interview, if reaching an audience who may never have heard of Kyron, I wouldn't know that he's painfully shy.

I know that Kaine and Desiree think Terri did something to him. I, as Jane Q Public, don't know what it is I'm supposed to know about the little boy missing or how I'm supposed to help, or what I can do to get his face out there, since his face wasn't the one portrayed, but the face of the 'evil stepmother' that Kaine and Desiree spent most of their time on national television talking about.

If LE believes that he is still alive I suppose the parents could use some of the media time to point to a web page where people can print flyers with his photo and distribute them locally but if they have reason to believe he is dead it's not going to be very helpful.

Any abducted child could be shy after three months of being treated like who knows what.