Australia - 3 dead after eating wild mushrooms, Leongatha, Victoria, Aug 2023 #11 *Arrest*

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  • #561
Erin's 'very hurt'..........Simon has no 'feelings' ..............no one listens to me................every symptom I have must be terminal.................Simon doesn't understand...........

Rinse, wash, repeat.

Erin is exhausting!

😫😲🥱

Simon's family had the patience of saints. So did Simon. My goodness.
 
  • #562
12.13pm

In-laws didn’t want to ‘become official mediators’ for the separated couple​

By​

After a short break, Erin Patterson has returned to the witness box.

More text message exchanges are shown to the jury. This one is from December 6, 2022, and it begins with Simon Patterson asking about an invitation to his parents, Don and Gail, to come to her home to talk.

In the first message from Simon, he tells Erin he is aware she has asked his parents over for a discussion.

“I was struggling to achieve good communication with Simon about a few things and I was wanting or hoping Don and Gail might help mediate that a little bit,” Patterson said of the exchange.

Patterson said one of the topics she wanted to discuss was her son’s struggles. She said she and Simon could not agree about the nature or the solution to his problems.

Patterson also said she wanted to discuss financial issues around the children, including school fees, which Simon had paid until then. “[Simon] wanted me to pay all of them from now on,” she said.

Patterson said Don and Gail came over the following day to talk about the issue.

“Almost immediately, they said if money was an issue, they’ll pay for all the school fees, which wasn’t what I needed. That was their first response,” she said.

Erin said her in-laws thought that she and Simon should sort the issue together.

“They didn’t want to become official mediators,” she said.

 
  • #563
1m ago
Erin's 'cheer squad' Facebook friends

By Joseph Dunstan

Erin says she felt "heard and validated and understood" by her Facebook friends when she shared frustrations about the family.

She says they responded to her frustrations with empathy.

"I knew that the women would probably support me being annoyed about those things and so I said that to them knowing that they would latch on … and become, like a cheer squad for your problem, if that makes sense?"

"Yeah," says Mr Mandy.

She says the message was private, and looking at the expletive-laden outburst now her voice cracks as she expresses regret.

"I wish I'd never said it. I feel ashamed for saying it and I wish that the family didn't have to hear that I said that," she says.

"They didn't deserve it."
 
  • #564
Anyone would think that Erin was a struggling single mother on a pension...

It seems like she wanted all of the benefits of being a stay at home married mother, without any of the responsibilities of that (eg: living with your husband). She wanted to do endless degrees while her children were in school full time. It's not like she couldn't have gotten a job.

I strongly suspect Simon met someone else around this time, IMO.
 
  • #565
12.13pm

In-laws didn’t want to ‘become official mediators’ for the separated couple​

By​

After a short break, Erin Patterson has returned to the witness box.

More text message exchanges are shown to the jury. This one is from December 6, 2022, and it begins with Simon Patterson asking about an invitation to his parents, Don and Gail, to come to her home to talk.

In the first message from Simon, he tells Erin he is aware she has asked his parents over for a discussion.

“I was struggling to achieve good communication with Simon about a few things and I was wanting or hoping Don and Gail might help mediate that a little bit,” Patterson said of the exchange.

Patterson said one of the topics she wanted to discuss was her son’s struggles. She said she and Simon could not agree about the nature or the solution to his problems.

Patterson also said she wanted to discuss financial issues around the children, including school fees, which Simon had paid until then. “[Simon] wanted me to pay all of them from now on,” she said.

Patterson said Don and Gail came over the following day to talk about the issue.

“Almost immediately, they said if money was an issue, they’ll pay for all the school fees, which wasn’t what I needed. That was their first response,” she said.

Erin said her in-laws thought that she and Simon should sort the issue together.

“They didn’t want to become official mediators,” she said.

Erin should not have expected Simon's parents to be mediators in the financial disagreements that she was having with Simon and Simon should not have allowed it IMO.
 
  • #566
Her "communication style" has my blood pressure zooming. He didn't say she was ridiculous--but if he did--she just called his father a liar! He's trying to talk her down. I'd be wanting to knock her down. Then, she'd like not to react that way (aggressively) again? How about saying she won't? No, because she won't take responsibility; what she means is that she wishes he wouldn't provoke her. IMO. Oh, and Simon asked if she was coming to the birthday. Maybe I'm peculiar, but that sounds to me like an invitation.
 
  • #567
11 minutes ago

Erin unpacks her arguments with Simon
She said Don reached out to her and told her it was an “oversight” and they really wanted her to come.
A follow up message the next day from Erin to Simon said: “I’m sorry for shouting at you this afternoon, I was feeling very hurt and lashed out. It’s no excuse. I’d like not to do that again.”
Simon sent a message apologising.
“Thanks for that. I’m sorry, I raised my voice and tone too,” he said.
“I wouldn’t call what either of us did shouting, but I’m sure we’re referring to the same thing, no matter what we call it. And I’m sorry for interrupting you too. I’d like to be more calm and listen better than I did yesterday.”
Erin tells the court she’d argued with Simon the day before when he came to pick up their daughter.
“I was really trying to get Simon to understand why I was hurt and he didn’t really want to talk about it at that time,” she said.
Erin said that was an example of how her and Simon resolved issues.
“I might feel hurt about something I didn’t communicate it very well. Simon maybe doesn’t get feelings so well, and would approach it more practically, and I would feel hurt and unheard, and then we’d be annoyed with each other for a day or two, and then we’d calm down and apologise,” she said.
“That was the how things flowed.”

10 minutes ago

'I was hurt': Erin's upset over Simon's child support payments
Mr Mandy has taken Erin to message exchanges with Simon about their finances in November 2022.
Erin had texted Simon about her child support application and forwarded him a medical bill for their son’s surgery which she asked him to pay.
Mr Mandy says Simon’s evidence was that he had told Erin the department of human services had told him not to pay for things like that due to how the child support payment structure.
Asked how she felt about this, Erin said: “I was hurt.”
“I understood what he was trying to communicate but I didn’t think what he was saying was right.
“But I was hurt … we’d never had any conflict over money that I could remember before this.”
The jury has taken a short break.

8 minutes ago

Erin hoped Don and Gail would help with marriage issues
The jury has returned from its break.
Mr Mandy asks about messages between Erin and Simon from December 2022.
He said Simon asks about a discussion Erin had with his parents the previous day about their son and finances for their children.
Asked why she invited his parents over, Erin tells the court: “I was struggling to achieve good communication with Simon about a few things, and I was wanting or hoping Don and Gail might help mediate that a little bit and helped us solve that problem.”
She said Don and Gail had helped mediate issues between them before.

4 minutes ago

Erin says in-laws 'didn’t want to become official mediators'
Asked what the issues with their son related to, Erin said he had been struggling at his school and they didn’t think it was the best place for him.
The financial issues related to school fees.
Mr Mandy said the messages suggested Simon had paid for school fees.
But after the child support issue, Erin tells the court Simon had wanted her to pay them.
In one of the messages, Simon suggests they could sort out the financial issues and he could organize a mediator.
When she met with Simon’s parents, Erin tells the court they offered to pay the school fees if money was an issue.
“That was their first response. But overridingly, they thought that Simon and I should settle the issue together but they didn’t want to become like official mediators,” she said.

 
  • #568
And it sounds like the son at least was 14 at the time of the flying lessons/grandparents and aunts death. That's plenty old enough not to be "frightened" by the situation/visiting the relatives in ICU, being pulled out of school to be tested.
 
  • #569
It seems like she wanted all of the benefits of being a stay at home married mother, without any of the responsibilities of that (eg: living with your husband). She wanted to do endless degrees while her children were in school full time. It's not like she couldn't have gotten a job.

I strongly suspect Simon met someone else around this time, IMO.
I wouldn't be surprised if Simon had met someone. That might also be why the family invites to her had tapered off a bit?
 
  • #570

“Almost immediately, they said if money was an issue, they’ll pay for all the school fees, which wasn’t what I needed. That was their first response,” she said.​


What wonderfully supportive in-laws!
 
  • #571
now03.21 BST
Facebook group chat with friends was a ‘safe venting space’, Erin Patterson tells court

In another message on 5 December 2022, Erin messages a group chat on Signal with her estranged husband Simon Patterson, as well as his parents Don and Gail Patterson.

In one message, she says Don’s suggestion that Simon can change his tax return after he listed himself as single is “mind boggling”.

Barrister Colin Mandy SC then shows messages between Erin and her Facebook friends.

In one on 6 December, Erin says her in-laws told her they could not adjudicate her conversations with Simon.

“This family I swear to 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 god,” Erin wrote.

Mandy asks Erin how she was feeling when she sent this message.

I was really hurt and I was really frustrated and felt a little bit desperate.
Erin says the group Facebook chat was created four years before she sent this message.

She says the group discussed “absolutely everything” including what their children were doing, meals they were cooking and current affairs.

It became a safe venting space for all of us.
Mandy asks how Erin feels about the message now.

I wish I’d never said it.. I feel ashamed for saying it and I wish the family didn’t have to hear that I said that.


They didn’t deserve it.

 
  • #572
2m ago
Erin Patterson chokes back tears as expletive-laced messages read

By Joseph Dunstan

Mr Mandy takes Erin to another message sent to her Facebook friends, where she says the family are a "lost cause".

"I'm sick of this 🤬🤬🤬🤬, I want nothing to do with them," the message begins, ending in "so f*** 'em".

"I wrote that," Erin says.

She sighs and sniffs before explaining why.

"I needed to vent, I needed to get my frustration off my chest and the choice was either go into the paddock and tell the sheep or vent to these women," she says.

"But I regret the language that I used, but I knew that they would rally around me and I probably, you know, played up the emotion of that a bit to get that support."

When asked if she meant those words, Erin says "no" in a choked voice.

She says the dispute wasn't entirely Simon's fault, and she played a part in it too.

"I think at the time I thought I was right and he was wrong … but I reflected on it a lot in New Zealand and I realised that it was wrong to try and involve Don and Gail and I should've approached it differently with Simon," she says.
 
  • #573
Just now
Erin apologises to Don and Gail Patterson

By Joseph Dunstan

Mr Mandy asks Erin if she expressed frustration to Don and Gail at the same time she was venting.

Erin says the conflict didn't keep "bubbling along" and she later apologised to her in-laws because the issues had been resolved.

"They were doing nothing but trying to support us," she says.

Erin says she apologised for "trying to involve them in something they didn't need to be worried about".

She says she was "in effect" asking them to take sides and "agree with me that I was right and Simon was wrong, and that wasn't fair".

"They helped us mediate issues in the past but that was long before Gail had been unwell and I shouldn't have done this to them at this point or ever," she says.
 
  • #574
Her "communication style" has my blood pressure zooming. He didn't say she was ridiculous--but if he did--she just called his father a liar! He's trying to talk her down. I'd be wanting to knock her down. Then, she'd like not to react that way (aggressively) again? How about saying she won't? No, because she won't take responsibility; what she means is that she wishes he wouldn't provoke her. IMO. Oh, and Simon asked if she was coming to the birthday. Maybe I'm peculiar, but that sounds to me like an invitation.
I totally agree. His question of are you coming to the party? Certainly implies he thought she was invited.

Simon's a better person than me. I'd be hoping she didn't come!
 
  • #575
3 minutes ago

Erin's tears as messages about family read to court
Mr Mandy takes Erin to a Signal chat with herself, Simon and his parents from December 4.
“Erin be lovely if we could catch up with you, (and the children) before you go to New Zealand,” Gail wrote.
Erin tells the court there was trip to New Zealand planned about a week later, agreeing she thought it was important the children saw their grandparents before they left.
Around that time, she said her children were not seeing their grandparents as much as she would have liked, usually about once a month at church.
“Earlier in the year, it was probably weekly or fortnightly,” she said.
Mr Mandy takes her through more messages with her in-laws relating to the financial dispute with Simon.
He then reads another message to her Facebook friends in which she complains about Simon’s family.
Erin started to quietly sniffle as Mr Mandy reads her messages to the court.
Erin’s message read: “Simon’s dad contacted me this morning to say that he and Gail had tried to talk to Simon about the matters I raised and to get “his side” but he refused to talk about it other than to signal he disagreed with what I said. Beyond that he won’t talk about it. So Don said they can’t adjudicate if they don’t know both sides and Simon won’t give his side (emoji) so he said all he can ask is that Simon and I get together to pray for the children (emoji) (emoji) this family I swear to f–ing god.”
“How are you feeling when you when you wrote this message?” Mr Mandy asks.
“I was really hurt and I was really frustrated, and felt a little bit desperate,” she replies.
After answering the question, Erin wiped her eye with her hand and grabbed a tissue.

 
  • #576

Mandy asks how Erin feels about the message now.

.... I feel ashamed for saying it and I wish the family didn’t have to hear that I said that.​


Well they didn't hear it, because they were deceased before this was revealed.
 
  • #577
2m ago
Erin Patterson chokes back tears as expletive-laced messages read

By Joseph Dunstan

Mr Mandy takes Erin to another message sent to her Facebook friends, where she says the family are a "lost cause".

"I'm sick of this 🤬🤬🤬🤬, I want nothing to do with them," the message begins, ending in "so 🤬🤬🤬* 'em".

"I wrote that," Erin says.

She sighs and sniffs before explaining why.

"I needed to vent, I needed to get my frustration off my chest and the choice was either go into the paddock and tell the sheep or vent to these women," she says.

"But I regret the language that I used, but I knew that they would rally around me and I probably, you know, played up the emotion of that a bit to get that support."

When asked if she meant those words, Erin says "no" in a choked voice.

She says the dispute wasn't entirely Simon's fault, and she played a part in it too.

"I think at the time I thought I was right and he was wrong … but I reflected on it a lot in New Zealand and I realised that it was wrong to try and involve Don and Gail and I should've approached it differently with Simon," she says.
She'd have been better off venting to the sheep, but they wouldn't have given her the validation and emotional support she craved.
 
  • #578
She'd have been better off venting to the sheep, but they wouldn't have given her the validation and emotional support she craved.

I'm not even sure it was emotional support she craved, more like validation for her victim complex. IMO
 
  • #579
1 minute ago
HIGHLIGHT
'I wish the family didn't have to hear that I said that': Erin's regret over messages shown to court
Erin said she spoke about “everything” in the Facebook chat with her friends.
“What we’re cooking, what our kids are doing, what the people in our family and our lives were doing, general news, current affairs, politics,” she said.
She said she felt “heard and validated and understood” in the chat.
Mr Mandy asks how she felt about saying “this family, I swear to f–king god”.
“I wish I’d never said it, I feel very I feel ashamed saying it, and I wish that the family didn’t have to hear that I said that. They didn’t deserve it,” she said.

The jury were previously shown this message, sent by Erin to her Facebook friends:
“Simon’s dad contacted me this morning to say that he and Gail had tried to talk to Simon about the matters I raised and to get “his side” but he refused to talk about it other than to signal he disagreed with what I said. Beyond that he won’t talk about it. So Don said they can’t adjudicate if they don’t know both sides and Simon won’t give his side (emoji) so he said all he can ask is that Simon and I get together to pray for the children (emoji) (emoji) this family I swear to f–king god.”

 
  • #580
Key Event
Just now
Erin felt 'hurt' by manner of invite to Gail Patterson's birthday

By Joseph Dunstan

Erin puts on her glasses as a piece of evidence is brought up on the monitor sitting in front of her in the witness box.

The first message, from Erin to Simon in November 2022, is about working out family schedules around the children.

In Simon's reply, he gives some feedback on that, and then shortly afterwards asks if she's coming to Gail's birthday lunch at the pub with the kids.

In Erin's reply, she said she didn't know anything about the birthday lunch for Gail.

Erin says she "felt hurt" because she felt she'd been left off the invite list.

"But I was also annoyed with myself because I had forgotten that it was a big birthday coming up for Gail, but yeah, I was hurt," she says.
Let me understand this.

She's upset that they didn't invite her to a birthday that otherwise had slipped her mind.

But now she's hurt. That they forgot to invite her to a birthday she forgot.

I just pretzeled my brain.

Magic, she turned a well earned birthday for a senior relative into something all about herself.

I wonder if she also expected gifts.

JMO
 
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