CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #25

[Confusion]

http://www.krdo.com/news/Redwine-fa...ance/-/417220/18076238/-/npdmtsz/-/index.html

I think two of the most important comments are:

Dylan's older brother, Cory, said he went on many trips to see his dad. "We never had any reason to think something would go wrong," he said

and

Though her frustration with Mark is clear, she doesn't believe he would hurt their son.

Thanks for the link.

 

[cluciano63]

Well,ER does not want to believe that Dylan might not be coming home, or as she said, that she chose someone who could hurt their child. So all she can do, really, is tell herself that he would not have hurt Dylan. i hope she is right.

 

[LotusPawprint]

"In my mind, I can't fathom a parent hurting their own child. I don't want to believe I picked so wrong that my ex-husband could hurt our son. So no, I don't believe that," said Elaine."

bbm - IMO, she's trying - and struggling BIG time to keep hope alive with rationalizations like what she stated "In my mind, I can't fathom....", "I don't want to believe I picked so wrong...."

Sounds like she's wrestling with self blame and disbelief over what she *really* believe happens.

 

[Confusion]

Nobody commented on the other quote -

Dylan's older brother, Cory, said he went on many trips to see his dad. "We never had any reason to think something would go wrong," he said

Doesn't that conflict with the idea that he didn't exercise his parental rights? MOO

 

[Seajay]

I think two of the most important comments are:

and


Thanks for the link.

Wow, those two statements are huge. Cory went to see his father a lot. And I recently read where the only reason Dylan slowed down on seeing Mark was because Cory always went with him before Cory turned 18 and now that he's an adult, he doesn't go as much as is required by vistation orders for Dylan to go see him.

And I'm glad to see Elaine come out and actually SAY that she doesn't think Mark would have hurt Dylan.

Everyone forgets that IF Mark had nothing to do with this, he's worried sick about his son, he has a big void in his life as well where Dylan resides. He has to go through his hours and days, not knowing where Dylan is anymore than Elaine does. And for the rest of his life he may not know. And he has to have a lot of fear about what could have happened to his child, wondering if he's dead or alive, if he's eating and sleeping and being taken care of, if he's ok? If he's waiting somewhere for his Dad to come and save him. Things like this have to be eating at him as well as Elaine.

Because Dylan disappeared on his watch, people forget that Mark is a victim as well, and along with all this, he's under public scrutiny, to do what everyone else wants or expects him to do. I guess he needs to go to the library and check out the book on rules of how to act when your child disappears so you know not to take a misstep or do anything that would have everyone's fingers pointing at you. My heart goes out to everyone in this family but especially to Mark because he's got the biggest cross to bear. JMO

 

[Seajay]

Nobody commented on the other quote -

Doesn't that conflict with the idea that he didn't exercise his parental rights? MOO

I did, I did.

And yes it does conflict with everyone's idea that Mark never bothered to see his children. Like I said, I'm glad to see this being put out there finally.

 

[cluciano63]

But why won't MR communicate with Elaine and Cory now? i don't get that. He is a grown-up, this is no time for hurt feelings. Maybe Elaine said what she said tonight just to placate him, who knows. She knows him

 

[Seajay]

<Mod Snip>
And maybe they have been in contact now and are talking. We just don't know about it or have heard about it. Doesn't mean it isn't happening. For all we know, the lines of communication are open as time has gone on.

 

[cluciano63]

And maybe they have been in contact now and are talking. We just don't know about it or have heard about it. Doesn't mean it isn't happening. For all we know, the lines of communication are open as time has gone on.

She says in that new article that it angers her that he is not corresponding with them, not speaking to them and is choosing to lay low. Sounds like he won't speak with Cory either.

 

[aust amateur slueth]

Wow, those two statements are huge. Cory went to see his father a lot. And I recently read where the only reason Dylan slowed down on seeing Mark was because Cory always went with him before Cory turned 18 and now that he's an adult, he doesn't go as much as is required by vistation orders for Dylan to go see him.

And I'm glad to see Elaine come out and actually SAY that she doesn't think Mark would have hurt Dylan.

Everyone forgets that IF Mark had nothing to do with this, he's worried sick about his son, he has a big void in his life as well where Dylan resides. He has to go through his hours and days, not knowing where Dylan is anymore than Elaine does. And for the rest of his life he may not know. And he has to have a lot of fear about what could have happened to his child, wondering if he's dead or alive, if he's eating and sleeping and being taken care of, if he's ok? If he's waiting somewhere for his Dad to come and save him. Things like this have to be eating at him as well as Elaine.

Because Dylan disappeared on his watch, people forget that Mark is a victim as well, and along with all this, he's under public scrutiny, to do what everyone else wants or expects him to do. I guess he needs to go to the library and check out the book on rules of how to act when your child disappears so you know not to take a misstep or do anything that would have everyone's fingers pointing at you. My heart goes out to everyone in this family but especially to Mark because he's got the biggest cross to bear. JMO

Can you please provide a link to where you read that reason for Dylan going to his fathers less?


IMO Marks behaviour since Dylans disappearance is the reason people are suspicious, and why wouldn't they be when his story doesn't add up.

 

[momrids6]

Family of Missing Teen Not Giving up Hope
"I&#8217;ve always believed someone has him,&#8221; Elaine said Wednesday night. &#8220;I am pleading to whoever has him or knows what happened, let us know."

http://www.kktv.com/home/headlines/Family-of-Missing-Teen-Not-Giving-up-Hope-186259192.html

 

[cluciano63]

MR refusing to talk to ER reminds me of Terri Horman refusing to talk to Desiree.

 

[FruitTingles]

I think two of the most important comments are:

and


Thanks for the link.

ITA and no worries Confusion, I was just too lazy to quote it! And this iPad is frustrating.

 

[cluciano63]

If MR still won't talk to his ex or to Cory...that makes me very uncomfortable. However upset he may be or whatever, he was responsible for Dylan and for keeping him safe. He needs to be a man and be there for his other son and answer any questions they may have, if he innocent.

 

[PaulR]

He needs to be a man...

I'm not even sure what this means. I feel like this plays into the stereotype that "real men" do certain things and don't do certain things.

 

[PaulR]

I do understand depression. I have suffered from it and my husband is currently suffering from it. But we have no reason to think that MR has a history of depression, as far as I know.

I am sure that Elaine is suffering in countless ways. But she is finding the strength to talk a out Dylan.

[ame="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale"]Holmes and Rahe stress scale - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/ame]

Divorce: 73
Marital separation: 65
Imprisonment: 63
Death of a close family member: 63

He's suffered two of four in the past few years, and probably three out of four with this tragedy.

How is he supposed to react?

 

[aust amateur slueth]

BBM. We also don't know if he has anything to do with Dylan's disappearance but that is different, right?
JMO.
:twocents:

it is different, we don't know if he did or didn't have something to do with Dylans disappearance. He isn't helping Dylan or himself the way he is behaving.

its been pointed out a number of times that we are allowed to discuss MR and the reasons why management made that decision.

 

[Cardinal47]

That is so true, thank you! That has cheered me up a bit

Our youngest daughter was scheduled to make her grand entrance on Leap year Feb.29. She managed to delay her arrival and enjoys a St. Paddy's day birthday...March 17.

She is the joy of our life!

 

[FruitTingles]

it is different, we don't know if he did or didn't have something to do with Dylans disappearance. He isn't helping Dylan or himself the way he is behaving.

its been pointed out a number of times that we are allowed to discuss MR and the reasons why management made that decision.

I understand that but it is just my opinion.

 

[cluciano63]

MR is being of no help to Dylan, IMO, or to his older son, in a time of family crisis, according to ER. We don't know why.

Perhaps if he has other children who have chosen not to have relationships with him, this is not so surprising. Maybe he has always been of no use in a crisis, who knows. Too bad, IMO, he seems unable to be Dylan's hero. JMO