CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #9

[katydid23]

Maybe because he's Dylan's father, and he loves him, and missed him the months they were apart. Maybe he just wanted Dylan at home with him the first night, even if Dylan was just asleep on the sofa. I would have done the same in his place.

I might have done the same thing too. But I don't get why he made him come home that night, but then never checked on him the next morning. No calls to check in with him, while he was at the home alone. And no call to say he was coimng back to give him his ride. Then, not much concern when he returns and finds him gone. Why did he wait 5 hrs to go see if he made it somewhere safe?

 

[Bravo]

So the only option is to go on the run with your child. Then when they find you your worst nightmare comes true.

 

[mck16]

What makes you think that it's just fine to disregard a court order?

number 1 is that I don't believe there was a 'court order'. I think it was just part of the divorce decree. and number 2. I was married to an attorney for 20 years and there is not too much about the law I respect. There is always a way around it. "Court order" is a very lose term. Many things are court ordered and are not honored. Child support is court ordered, but how many men don't pay it? And visitation is only disputed between the husband and wife. The court doesn't get involved unless someone files a complaint.

 

[jjenny]

number 1 is that I don't believe there was a 'court order'. I think it was just part of the divorce decree. and number 2. I was married to an attorney for 20 years and there is not too much about the law I respect. There is always a way around it. "Court order" is a very lose term. Many things are court ordered and are not honored. Child support is court ordered, but how many men don't pay it? And visitation is only disputed between the husband and wife. The court doesn't get involved unless someone files a complaint.

You don't think Dylan's father would file a complaint if he didn't get Dylan for visitation? Mother and father don't seem to get along. But I really don't think she could have predicted Dylan would go missing while visiting his father.

 

[Seajay]

I think that it IS significant for the very reason you stated....the court found it in the best interest of Dylan to allow him to move away. Dylan grew up in that area, went to school there, had friends and activities there, father lived there; normally courts place a high premium on maintaining stability for children. Despite ER having residential responsibility, the court could well have denied her request to move Dylan, particularly if MR was contesting the relocation. Instead, the court authorized the move, essentially deeming that to be in Dylan's best-interest. Whatever MR's argument was, the court found in favor of ER's petititon, the final decree only recently being given out September 21. This was Dylan's very first visit under that new order; the last one (over the Labor Day holiday, at the beginning of September) occured while ER and MR were still awaiting the judge's ruling.
Even if you disregard what ER said about MR not utilizing his visitation regularly in the past, the court's ruling could quite possibly reflect just that; if MR was not availing himself of the parenting time that he legally had with Dylan, all the more reason for the court to allow ER to move with their son....

Regarding parent time spent with a child due to work. I honestly don't see why this should be an issue, for a parent to not be able to spend the time with their children because of their work when it takes them away from home for days, months at a time.

Men and women in our military are gone for months to a year at a time. They are doing a job. It takes them away from their homes as well. This does not make them uncaring or neglient parents or parents who do not want to spend time with their children.

 

[mck16]

You don't think Dylan's father would file a complaint if he didn't get Dylan for visitation? Mother and father don't seem to get along. But I really don't think she could have predicted Dylan would go missing while visiting his father.

I agree that she couldn't have predicted he would go missing, but now in hind sight she is accusing him. Go figure. I don't understand this. jmo

 

[katydid23]

I can totally understand MR not wanting his Son to go off to friends that first night. It's many other things about this case that have my attention.

I totally agree. I would have probably made him stay with me the first night too. But what bugs me is the dichotomy between what MR says and what he does.

For example, he says Dylan is his whole world, and he fights to get that court ordered visitation, and he makes him stay home the first night, but yet he seemed to almost 'ignore' him the next day. No call to check in, no call to say I am on the way back to pick you up, no urgent concern when he is missing upon the return home. Five hours passes before he goes to see if he arrived anywhere safely. In contrast to Dad's words, his actions seem to be in conflict.JMO

 

[Dr. Know?]

Great information gained tonight while trying to catch up. Thanks all.

Dylan is such a cute kid. I wish he could be found real soon.

 

[Seajay]

I'm thinking as far as court and custody were concerned and I don't know any different since we are not allowed to sleuth those records, but my thought on this was, ER got a better job that paid more money in CS. She asked to take Dylan there so she could take the job. MR didn't like the idea of Dylan being further away. When he could see his child, it was more convenient to have him closer, where he could also see him more often, so I imagine he was not a happy camper about that.

I think ER presented her case for advancement and pay increase for her job so the judge approved the move. I can see MR not being happy about it. That supposedly got worked out on September 21 st from what I understand.

Now they have to have alternate time for the holidays with Dylan. Mark had his turn first, then Elaine was going to get Christmas. Next year Elaine would probably get Thanksgiving, Mark would get Christmas. This was the first holiday since the decision was made. It was no doubt a compromise.

All the other times Mark had Dylan, nothing happened. We don't know how often he spent with his dad, or spent the night or went on vacations in the years since they parents filed for divorce.

I think a bigger deal has been made out of this "court ordered, forced visitation" thing.

My son is getting a divorce, he had the kids for Thanksgiving, she'll have them for Christmas. No court involvement yet, but I imagine when the divorce is final, something will be in writing about the agreement they've made. I guess that would now be "court ordered, forced visitation?"

 

[Seajay]

Great information gained tonight while trying to catch up. Thanks all.

Dylan is such a cute kid. I wish he could be found real soon.

Truer words were never spoken. I hope he's found soon. The longer this goes on, the bleaker things are looking for the little guy. I pray he's ok.

 

[Seajay]

I honestly do not know if MR did anything to Dylan or not. But I'll tell you one thing, until Dylan is returned home safely or God forbid his body is found and Mark is either named a person of interest or is arrested by LE for doing something to him, in my eyes, he's a parent of a missing child and deserves some compassion and consideration.

If something bad happened to Dylan and Mark is responsible for it, I'll be first in line to call him every rotten name in the book and want his head on a pike.

In this case, we just don't know enough yet. There are way too many unanswered questions and answers aren't coming from unbiased and official sources. Right now we are dealing with "he said, she said" and that's not good enough for me.

There are things that bother me about this case, my hinky meter has gone off several times. Some things make zero sense to me. Yet once we know what happened, they could make perfect sense.

That's my opinion about this anyway........fwiw.

 

[Powergirl]

I am sorry but I do not buy 'court ordered'. If she truly thought MR was dangerous she could fight that court order. What could they do to her that was worth losing her son over? what are they going to do make her a private? jmo

ER had just gone to court, and she was successful in getting the custodial arrangement altered; MR still, however, has parental rights, and he pursued visitation. It is extremely rare when parental right to visitation is denied. ER is bound by the court order. If she flagrantly disobeyed the visitation ruling (and thus denying MR his parental rights), custody could well be transferred to MR.

 

[FruitTingles]

I honestly do not know if MR did anything to Dylan or not. But I'll tell you one thing, until Dylan is returned home safely or God forbid his body is found and Mark is either named a person of interest or is arrested by LE for doing something to him, in my eyes, he's a parent of a missing child and deserves some compassion and consideration.

If something bad happened to Dylan and Mark is responsible for it, I'll be first in line to call him every rotten name in the book and want his head on a pike.

In this case, we just don't know enough yet. There are way too many unanswered questions and answers aren't coming from unbiased and official sources. Right now we are dealing with "he said, she said" and that's not good enough for me.

There are things that bother me about this case, my hinky meter has gone off several times. Some things make zero sense to me. Yet once we know what happened, they could make perfect sense.

That's my opinion about this anyway........fwiw.

ITA. :goodpost:

 

[Seajay]

Speaking of cell phones and such, had to share this for a laugh.

 

[Powergirl]

I believe that decision was probably made because she moved more than 2 months before she was granted primary custody.

We don't know when ER filed her original petition, but it would make sense that it occured way back in the planning/interviewing stages for the move/her new job. Since there were already long-standing custodial orders, she would not have been allowed to move Dylan without court authorization; even in instances of sole (physical and legal) custody, once the court is involved, you are required to notifiy the court prior to leaving the jurisdiction. The court likely issued a temporary order prior to final Sept 21st decree.

 

[katydid23]

Speaking of cell phone and such, had to share this for a laugh.

My mom has a big pink rotary phone exactly like that. She keeps it kind of for a joke. But the first time she showed my kids how it worked, and we had them
dial it, and wait for each number to turn, they died laughing. It even has DAvenport, our old prefix printed on it. lol

 

[Dr. Know?]

Great cartoon Seajay. I have 3 of those cell phone messages coming at me on any giving day. "Grandma" is common. lol Love it. We hopefully have communication covered. Whew. Unless they drop their cell phone in the toilet...

Just curious, do you get visitations if a dad isn't paying child support? How do they figure that part out? You have money to fly them somewhere to visit and you can feed them, but you can't pay child support. I don't have a clue about this case and payments, btw.

 

[sorrell skye]

Rhetorical question: were any criminal charges/records brought up on NG last night regarding ER ?

No? I didn't think so.

All righty then.

Based on current media reports, it appears that only MR has had criminal charges and/or a criminal record.

 

[Powergirl]

I'm thinking as far as court and custody were concerned and I don't know any different since we are not allowed to sleuth those records, but my thought on this was, ER got a better job that paid more money in CS. She asked to take Dylan there so she could take the job. MR didn't like the idea of Dylan being further away. When he could see his child, it was more convenient to have him closer, where he could also see him more often, so I imagine he was not a happy camper about that.

I think ER presented her case for advancement and pay increase for her job so the judge approved the move. I can see MR not being happy about it. That supposedly got worked out on September 21 st from what I understand.

Now they have to have alternate time for the holidays with Dylan. Mark had his turn first, then Elaine was going to get Christmas. Next year Elaine would probably get Thanksgiving, Mark would get Christmas. This was the first holiday since the decision was made. It was no doubt a compromise.

All the other times Mark had Dylan, nothing happened. We don't know how often he spent with his dad, or spent the night or went on vacations in the years since they parents filed for divorce.

I think a bigger deal has been made out of this "court ordered, forced visitation" thing.

My son is getting a divorce, he had the kids for Thanksgiving, she'll have them for Christmas. No court involvement yet, but I imagine when the divorce is final, something will be in writing about the agreement they've made. I guess that would now be "court ordered, forced visitation?"

You are presuming that MR contested the change in custodial arrangements because he wanted see his son more often. There is also another alternative, however, it may simply be because MR wanted what he wanted, he wanted HIS son (emphasis on the possessive) to be where he wanted Dylan to be....whether or not MR utilized his awarded parenting time and/or chooses to be invested in Dylan's life is different thing altogether.

 

[Seajay]

Great cartoon Seajay. I have 3 of those cell phone messages coming at me on any giving day. "Grandma" is common. lol Love it. We hopefully have communication covered. Whew. Unless they drop their cell phone in the toilet...

Just curious, do you get visitations if a dad isn't paying child support? How do they figure that part out? You have money to fly them somewhere to visit and you can feed them, but you can't pay child support. I don't have a clue about this case and payments, btw.

With my daughter in AZ, her ex didn't pay a dime but still gave him visitation. When he threw them all out and they had to come live with me in CA, she would drive half way and he would drive half way for him to have visitation with the kids. I don't remember it being court ordered though. She would not withhold the kids from their father just because he was a dead beat dad.