CMJA LOVES to use the word "amazing". It is liberally sprinkled through all her writings. Each and every time I saw the word in her journals, though, I kind of snorted with derision, because I faithfully watched All My Children for over 40 years until we were so cruelly betrayed by ABC (but that's another story), and the word "amazing" was used by pretty much every single character to their partner after they had sex, particularly from the men. Once you see the repetition pattern, you can pretty much say the dialogue FOR them before they say it.
That's what CMJA's life is like as SHE describes it:
a soap opera. As with soap characters, her purchases and lifestyle have no bearing whatever on her finances (or lack thereof), and she up and leaves work in favor of adventures, good or bad, on a regular basis, with no thought to productivity or bosses. As with any soap opera, random people often come to her home or work or restaurant and tell her she is being cheated on; this happens over and over through the years.
Like soap characters, she shows up unannounced in people's homes without knocking, and sometimes goes to great lengths to enter their homes clandestinely (doggy doors vs tunnels in a mansion). Once inside, she snoops, steals, plants false evidence, or all of the above. She walks into rooms without knocking and constantly eavesdrops on conversations she is not meant to hear, throwing her into a tizzy of scheming and/or horror and despair. She slashes tires and destroys property in fits of righteous rage. She hides around corners and watches her "beloved" as he betrays her with women he deems to be more worthy than she.
She hacks into other people's computers and/or accounts and phones with ease, and then tricks people into thinking she is the person to whom the account or phone belongs when she sends them provocative messages. She writes a ridiculously melodramatic shaming letter to a rival, purportedly from an anonymous ID. She writes fake messages to herself from fake stalkers and contrives to make sure Travis sees and/or learns about them.
She threatens suicide on a regular basis in order to bind the object of her obsession to her, and is in constant need of being rescued. I'm surprised she didn't up and marry someone she didn't love and barely knew in order to stick it to Travis (crying martyred tears throughout the ceremony), not to mention become pregnant and not know which one was the father. Despite everything that has happened, she still wants to remain "friends".
Throughout her travails and harrowing experiences, she still has a positive attitude and thinks most people are really good at heart and can be redeemed, including herself
And, of course, there are the obligatory fake
.
