I can tell by observing some family members who married women of their daughters’ age. At first there were no relations, but after many years, it was all forgotten. So, after 40+ years, i’d bet that there was no animosity in Gene’s family. On the other side, such men would definitely treat their young wives very differently, so there is that.
An observation related to illness. I knew a woman whose husband was “in power”. He developed a massive stroke during a morning jog. His wife, providing excellent care to him, never ever let friends and acquaintances visit him. At first I thought the goal was to protect “a wounded lion”, but today I am wondering if depression could have been a part of it.
So I wonder if Betsy, in a way, tried to protect Gene from the world’s awareness about his state. Perhaps it sounded like, “dad is out in the yard” or “dad is walking the dogs”, but since Gene was unavailable to children or friends, people stopped calling. It wouldn’t be surprising, it is a mix of pride and “there are just two of us in our misery.” (That last photo was made a year ago and everyone discussed Gene being “frail”.)
One more thing; pianists are perfectionists. Gene’s children mention Betsy taking excellent care of him, and I believe it was perfect. But maybe inside, Betsy felt that it was never good enough?