They met in the 80's which was 40+ years ago when she was in her early 20's so I have no doubt that she was in great form while working at a gym.
I apologize if I came off insensitive as I was under the impression that she had given interviews to more than one news source.
Thanks, @Sunshynn. I felt compelled to speak up for the caregiver, but in today's Daily Mail the "Dog Chiropracter" has an Exclusive Story. So I get it. I even thought it was weird of Gene's friends to talk about their friendship when they hadn't been in touch for years. I feel particularly sympathetic to the caregiver, who may be left in a very difficult position by Betsy's death-- and who I could imagine, in naïveté, speaking to reporters. Of course, I don't know. . .
I offered no criticism of anyone, nor did I say that anything was untrue. I am not the first one here to wonder why the housekeeper wouldn't have rung Betsy. It's a natural question to ask, and perhaps it was asked but left out of the news article.
What kind of people rake over the details of the deaths of a couple who, by all accounts, wanted nothing more than privacy?
Some people always seem to hope for the worst possible scenario.
Media reporters.
I don't know what the caretakers motive was to go public. Iirc she even said she told BA's mother that her daughter had died, but she forgot all about it because of dementia. Paraphrased. Golden Rule time, imo. May the housekeeper realize there is such a thing, and would her own mother like to have stories like that disbursed to the media vultures.
The care giver most likely no clue about talking to media and just responded naturally. I dont think she was meaning to paint Betsy in a bad light at all. Just worried the contact was less since October and she was worried. The media vultures I agree would focus on anything they could sensationalise in any way shape or form.
us.
We don't know if the DM story is accurate (or if any outlet's stories are accurate) but the DM did not say she told the mother of BA's death. It said
How did she know the mother had forgotten? Ask her? So I'm coming at this particular criticism from the aspect of having 2 close relatives with dementia. Would I remind them that their growm child had died? Would I pass the phone call from the police to either of my relatives to hear such news? No.We don't know if the DM story is accurate (or if any outlet's stories are accurate) but the DM did not say she told the mother of BA's death. It said
"Keiko said Yoshie was informed by New Mexico police of her daughter's death on Wednesday, but due to her dementia she has now forgotten the tragic news.
'She talked to a New Mexico policeman the other day. But she has dementia so she forgot already. I feel so sorry for her,' the housekeeper, who has worked for Yoshie for 20 years, told DailyMail.com.
'She was very upset. But right now she's kind of normal."
Gene Hackman's wife hadn't called her mother since OCTOBER
Betsy Arakawa, 64, usually checked in with her mom Yoshie Feaster, who lives in Hawaii, with regular monthly phone calls, the mother's housekeeper revealed.www.dailymail.co.uk
MOO
Perhaps the mother was still speaking of Betsy as if she were still alive. That's often how it goes.
I talk to people with dementia in their families, the one constant is that nothing is constant. It's so different in each mind. One of my relatives, we can talk for hours how it was when we were little, and they remember even more than I. Then there are the aspects far worse. But I definitely protect them from bad news if possible.
I had to tell my Mum who has dementia that my Sister had died. Her death was sudden and traumatic. She lived a good distance away so my Mum wouldn't have regular visits. I thought about not telling her but the burden of such a secret was too much for me. It also felt like i was deceiving my Mum in the worst way. I told her but was frugal with the cause of death and she reacted as you would expect. Devastated, crying, asking questions. She forgot quite quickly and i will never tell her again. It is too cruel reminding those with dementia of such sad events as they react just the same each time as if first they knew of it. The Alzheimer's society in the UK suggest using diversion techniques if they mention the loved one. For example, i used to have an elderly neighbour with dementia and some nights to give his family a break, i would cook his evening meal. Once he got upset I hadn't made a meal for his wife who had died a few years before. Instead of reminding him she was dead, I started talking about the apple pie she would make me every sunday. He then joined in talking about her baking. Crisis averted. Sorry to digress but it a subject close to my heart.
